Back and Fourth: The One About Babies
So, it's been a while since I've had any quality time with the 4th graders, as they've been having lunch in the cafeteria. Thankfully, there's a show tonight in that space, so we had classroom lunch, which allowed me more interaction time with them. Out of nowhere today, T decides to tell me that she wants 20 kids.
"Twenty kids?!" I exclaimed. "How are you going to feed all of them?"
She replied, "I dunno," and giggled.
I proceeded to ask her if she knew how much money that was going to cost. Was she going to marry a rich man? She said she didn't know, but that her mom's father had 24 kids, so she was going to have 20. I didn't really feel it was my place to get into the biological reasons that her grandfather could sire so many, yet she probably wouldn't be able to keep that pace. At the end of the table, K utters, "I hope you gonna have 20 titties."
Meanwhile, D said that he was going to have 10 kids, and if they 10th is a girl, he's going to have another and then stop. HOW he plans to stop, however, is the kicker. He said, "I'm gonna tell her to get her tubes tied." What?! I couldn't believe he even knew what that meant. He said, "Yeah, that's how it works. The woman gets her tubes tied to stop having babies." I know I shouldn't have, but I cracked up. I just couldn't believe the scope of the stuff they were discussing.
K, then, chimes in that he's going to have 85 kids. He's all about the oneupsmanship. I told him that he'd never even live long enough to do that. He said, "Oh, did I say 85? I meant 185." Um, same deal, K. He immediately got bored with this idea, and started flirting with T.
Let me tell you a little something about K. He's really smart and a cool kid, but a bit of a loner. He likes to sneak off and wander the halls. He's almost as good as Batman when it comes to elusive exits. I told him I should put a bell on him just to track him. The funny thing about him, though, is that he's a little Casanova. He's constantly scheming about hugging the girls in his class. He'll come up to me and say, "Mr. West, see her? I'm gonna hug her!" And the emphasis he puts on hug makes it seem like it's the raciest thing he could ever conceieve of. Like, he sneaks up on girls JUST to hug them. It'd be creepy were it not so cute. The girls never really know how to handle it, since he's such a loner, but they're all also still in the "cootie phase". It IS the 4th grade.
Anyway, K decides to start flirting with T about her plan to have 20 kids. He said, "That means you gonna have to do this every day". At this point, he stretches his arms out in front, and starts doing these power thrusts like something out of an 80s aerobics class. Again, I cracked up, while T as telling him to stop that. Since I couldn't leave well enough alone, I asked him if what he as imitating as skiing. He said, "No, skiing's like this", and proceeded to mime a pretty good ski job. Then, he immediately went right back to the power thrusts, which lead T to hit him in the arm. T, then, tells me, "If my husband just sits on the couch, watching TV, I'm gonna kick him outta my house and get a divorce!"
K comes over to me and indicates he has a secret to tell me. I bend down, and he whispers, "You know T's supposed to be my girlfriend?" I said, "Well, it seems like you've got your work cut out for you."
As I'm about to leave, K says, "Mr West, I'mma kiss her so hard her lips gonna fall off!" I cracked up as I left the room, but it might be time to send a letter home...
An Open Letter to Octavia Spencer & Viola Davis Regarding The 2012 Academy Awards
Dear Ms Spencer & Ms Davis,
First off, allow me to congratulate you on your nominations for the 2012 Oscars. While I have yet to see The Help, all of my white friends tell me that it's "A-MAH-zing". I guess that means that they really liked it. Now, I realize that we're a few decades removed from the Civil Rights Movement, but sadly many of us are still seen as representations for our entire race. This is especially true when we are on a public stage. So, while I sincerely applaud your talent, I do have to make one small request: should you win, PLEASE do not do anything stupid on your way to the podium. I figured this was a good time to go over some award show etiquette.
DON'T give your award away to some random old dude who doesn't even know who you are.
Jack Lemmon was in Grumpy Old Men! He don't need yo' award!
DON'T go kiss Ryan Gosling or Bradley Cooper up there on stage!
Y'all forgot this, didn't you? You know something's up when Mr. Tibbs himself has a look on his face like, "Denzel better let go of that white woman." Check out the clip on YouTube and look at Russell Crowe's face. I'm surprised we didn't have riots the day after this. Nah, we were too busy bootlegging Training Day tapes from Blockbuster.
DON'T lost your shit onstage. There's something to be said about humility:
Cuba Gooding Jr. Oscar Acceptance Speech by
Do you know how hard it was to find an embeddable clip of that moment? The Gooding Hollywood Influence goes strong!
Finally, once you've got your Oscar in hand, DON'T take any and every job that comes your way
Ease up a little. Show some restraint. After all, you're representing us all.
So, now that we've got that out of the way, can I hold $100? Just email me or whatever.
Your pal,
Will
The Gang Goes Seinfeld All Over Their Asses
Unless you're new here, you know that I know next to nothing about sports. As a result, I tend to relate even less to sports fans. And don't get me started on fantasy teams! Nope, not a sports guy. What I do know, however, is TV. Sometimes, when I really get into a show, I start thinking about how things could've gone differently. This morning, I had quite the revelation about the darling of Must See TV, Seinfeld.
Unless you've been living under a rock, you've surely caught an episode of Seinfeld in syndication. You've probably seen all the watercooler episodes, like Soup Nazi, Man Hands, and Mulva. If you're like me, you've seen them all. As it was marketed, Seinfeld was a "show about nothing". Or so they claimed. You see, in the finale, they decide to pull the finale macguffin that "everything wasn't as it seemed." Sure, it wasn't anything as daring as the Roseanne finale, but the thesis was that the Seinfeld crew were, and always had been, assholes. To sum it up, the gang are on the way to LA, but the plane has to make an emergency landing in a small town. While there, they notice a fat guy being mugged, but instead of helping him, they just kinda laugh. Since this was a violation of a newly-instated "bystander law", which required citizens to intervene in such cases, the four are arrested. At this point, several guest stars from the past are paraded into the courtroom to support the idea that, yes, the four are horrible, horrible assholes. Episode ends with them being sentenced for a year, and our last image is of them on their cell.
I HATED that finale. It served to give the show a retroactive thesis that didn't exist. Sure, they were all selfish characters, but they never did anything malicious. Their biggest crime was probably that they were always looking out for themselves, which, at times, *may* have been at the expense of others. The parade of cameos was almost necessary to build this case against them, but it really came off as "Larry David doesn't know how to end this show."
That finale bothered me so much that I couldn't watch syndicated episodes for over a DECADE. Seriously, the show ended in 98, and I just started watching again last year. What brought me back? I got into syndicated eps of Curb Your Enthusiasm, and one season's plot concerned a "Seinfeld Reunion". From a TV fan perspective, it's so unique to a see reunion take place within the story of another show. The only other example that comes to mind is the Night Court reunion on 30 Rock. I also enjoyed the idea because the ideas being thrown around actually sounded like Seinfeld ideas, and not something from left field like that finale.
So, how'd we get here? Well, this morning, it dawned on me that the Seinfeld finale was PERFECT...for another series. That show: It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia. I've often felt it to be the show that "out-Seinfelded" Seinfeld. Sure, they own a bar, but that's just a setting. At the end of the day, it's another show about nothing. That said, the characters will go to malicious lengths to get what they want. They been addicted to crack, conned a priest into becoming a crackwhore, opened the bar to minors, tricked pro-lifers into unprotected sex, bought a boat to seduce women on international waters, etc. And that's just the first few seasons. There's no other way for the show to end BUT for them to all be in a jail cell. So, the Sunny gang has Larry David to thank, as he's already done the heavy lifting on what will be the beat sendoff for their show. As the show is currently in its 7th season, they reportedly have 2 more to go. Charlie Day's been popping up in real movies, while Rob McElhenney's starting up 2 new shows. So, it's only a matter of time before they have to pull that trigger. Seeing as how they've done amazing parodies of Million Dollar Baby and Catfish, I'd love to see them go out with a parody of the Seinfeld finale. It would finally put that story to good use.
2011 In Review: #New52 Pick-Up
So, I'm usually not a fan of year-end, best of posts, but I feel that we've experienced enough of the DC Comics' New 52 that it's time to revisit it. As the biggest comic event of the year, you may remember I had some preliminary thoughts on the whole venture. Around that time, the guys over at the PowetCast were nice enough to have me on their show to discuss the whole thing. Now that we're four months in, I've got to say that I'm not really impressed. While DC has gotten more press than they have in years, there really aren't a lot of new ideas here. While a few of the new approaches are interesting, I haven't read anything that warranted a reboot. Also, I don't feel like the right questions are being asked by editorial. They seem to be asking, "How are we going to reintroduce Steel?" Instead of asking "Is there even a need/place for Steel in the new universe?" In short, it's more of the same, on a compressed rollout schedule. As I did before the launch, I thought I'd revisit the launch books and give updated thoughts.
1. Justice League - Sure, I like it so far, but I know that it's only a matter of time before the team is filled with the members of the sure-to be canceled Justice League International. I love the team of Johns and Lee, but we're about a year away from it being the team of Milligan and Kubert. That's not a flagship-worthy creative team to me.
2. Justice League International - This book is more painful than Batman and the Outsiders. I considered it to be the Booster Gold fill-in book, but it's not the same Booster. I'm also buying it because Batman's on the team, but I think I'm done after the first arc is done. As an aside, I really thought it would feature the pre-Flashpoint Booster as he deals with his new surroundings. After all, he was outside the timestream as Flashpoint occurred, and actually popped up in that universe. I've read enough comics to know he should be all kinds of fucked up from that. I don't feel like getting to know a new Booster, even if he turns out to be just like the old one. The old one didn't need replacing.
3. Teen Titans - Done with #3. I just can't bring myself to care. DC can't seem to decide if this is the first incarnation of the Titans. I don't like the characterization of Tim Drake, and I don't like the new characters. Done.
4. Suicide Squad - I'm quite enjoying this. While I'm not keen on New Harley, I like that it uses characters that can afford to have liberties taken with them. Had I stuck with Secret Six I probably wouldn't feel that way, but so far I'm pleased.
5. Action Comics - I think I'm done with #4. Never been a Morrison fanboy, and the pacing is rough. I was trying to be a trooper, but we're getting 2 months of fill-ins before the initial story arc concludes. Look, I was a proponent of the fill-in model, but I expect you to get out the FIRST ARC before employing it. Plus, I had to be honest and ask myself "Am I a Superman guy?" Like, will I honestly be reading the book in a year? Unlike Batman, I'm not gonna just buy Superman books out of habit. If it's bad now, it's only going to get worse. Done. Steel introduction this early on? Double done.
6. Superman - I actually find this one interesting, yet it's so damn verbose. Too many damn words. I swear Claremont is ghostwriting this thing. While I know there's a 5 year gap between the events of Action and those here, this does not feel like the same Superman, and that's a problem. The one in Action doesn't even feel like an inexperienced version of this guy. Im hanging on, but will probably drop after the first arc.
7. Superboy - Done with #2. Like with Teen Titans, I just don't care. This isn't my Kon-El, and I don't care enough to get to know him. The Caitlin Fairchild angle almost kept me on, but that just forced it into another unnecessary direction - Gen13 rehash. I'm not saying that's where it's definitely going, but I read the whole "genetically-engineered teen turns against clandestine maker" story back in '94, and it was called Gen13. Pass.
8. Supergirl - never picked it up. This is, what, her fourth incarnation since COIE? Not interested.
9. Batman - look, I like Snyder, but I don't get everyone raving over Capullo. All of his white males look the same - the only difference is height. I've read online interviews where he has said the similarities between Bruce and the new politician guy are deliberate, but that doesn't explain why they look like the same characters he drew in Haunt. He makes Tony Daniel look talented.
10. Detective Comics - Speaking of Daniel, he doesn't suck nearly as much as he used to. I honestly enjoyed his opening arc, even if it felt like he was playing with Morrisonian concepts that he didn't fully understand. He's showing growth, and that's admirable.
11. Batman: The Dark Knight - Why am I buying this book? It isn't very good. This is what happens when you promote an artist to writer just to keep him from jumping ship to Marvel. Every iconic character has a superfluous book, and this is Batman's. This is the Legends of the Dark Knight/Batman Chronicles/Batman Confidential of the New 52. It's for those people who'll buy anything with Batman in it, though it really doesn't move the needle in terms of adding value to the character. I like Finch's art, but I see myself dropping this soon. In my 52 Thoughts post, I said that Paul Cornell or Peter Tomasi would be on it in a year. Well, I was close, as Paul Jenkins is already on as co-writer.
12. Batgirl - I'm pretty much done after the first arc. I thought she was better as Oracle, and what I've read hasn't made me feel like Barbara Gordon-as-Batgirl is even needed. Why not keep Cassie or Steph? The Bat timeline is the most confusing of the relaunch, since we don't know which events still happened. That said, I just haven't enjoyed this. Call me when she's paralyzed again.
13. Batwoman - This book is the comic equivalent of a beautiful woman with no personality. I like looking at it, but the story has done absolutely nothing for me. Batwoman has been around for about 5 years now, and we know so little about her. This isn't done in a deliberate way, either, like with old school Wolverine. Why is she necessary? Why is she wearing the mantle of The Bat? I've said it before, but I'd appreciate her more as an original character called the Asskicktress than as Batwoman, as we still haven't been given a good reason as to why she chose to be BATwoman. She's not likable. The way DC pushes her sexuality, she comes off as a "diversity hire", but I'll admit that the only thing I do find interesting is her relationship with Maggie Sawyer. I'm a sucker for supporting cast members. Still hanging on...for now.
14. Catwoman - Man, did everyone lose their shit over the sex in #1! I admit it caught me off guard, but other books have shown that New 52 Bruce Wayne does fuck. My major concern is that I hope he used a bat condom! Just like with Action, am I gonna be reading Catwoman a year from now? Probably not, but I'll finish the first arc. Like in the past, I'll come back when they rope her into the first mega Bat crossover.
15. Red Hood and the Outlaws - It started out as everyone hating Whorefire, but that seems to have subsided. I dislike this book for another reason entirely: it's just not what I signed on for. I expected Red Hood and Red Arrow to be anti heroes, doing their own thing. I did not expect mystical mumbo jumbo, and I hate that shit. I don't care about mystical cities and revenge and whatnot. Seriously close to dropping this.
16. Batwing - My God this is a good book! Who knew? I was ready to write it off as another "diversity hire" book. After all, out of all the Batman Inc folks, why did HE get a series? That said, I'm loving it. Sure, Winick worked an AIDS reference in by #4, but I'm thoroughly enjoying it.
17. Nightwing - I feel like I've read this before. Sure, the Haley's angle is new, but it reads just like the last Nightwing series, when he moved to NYC. All Nightwing series begin with him doubting himself and finding his confidence. He usually finds it just in time for the next reboot/relaunch. Finishing the arc, but not impressed.
18. Batman and Robin - After Morrison left, this felt like an unnecessary flagship - like when Whedon left Astonishing X-Men. That said, I'm loving this new direction. This is where you get the emotional beats of Bruce getting to know the son he never knew he had. Some may find it unnecessary, but these are the interactons I've wanted to see since Batman R.I.P.
19. Birds of Prey - Dropped it after #1. Just like with Booster and the Titans, I have no desire to get to know this new team. Don't need a new Dinah. Don't care to know Starling. I know some of my online friends love it, but it's just not worth the $3 to me.
20. Green Lantern - I've said this in other places, but #1 felt more like a season premiere rather than a series premiere. What I mean by that is that it was clear that events had occurred prior to the issue - important events. While it was accessible, I couldn't help but feel I was missing something. Considering I'd read the Sinestro Corps War, as well as Blackest Night, that's not a good feeling. I am, however, enjoying the focus on Sinestro. I've never truly seen him as a villain, so I'm enjoying this spotlight on him. That said, I'm probably gone after this arc. GL is written in an almost Marvel way, where one event leads into the next, so jumping off may not be as clean a break as I'm hoping.
21. Aquaman - Really loving it. I'll chalk it up to Johns's writing, but I'm enjoying it so far. I can see myself dropping it eventually, but no time soon.
22. Wonder Woman - Dropped with #1. Chiang's art is gorgeous, but I don't know what the fuck is going on. Mythology is not my bag, as I learned most of it from Hercules and Xena. I just couldn't follow it. I know there are folks out there who eat that stuff up, and more power to 'em. Just not for me.
23. Flash - I'm actually enjoying this arc. I like Manuapul's art, and the story is pretty engaging. That said, I still don't really care about Barry Allen. This is even after Rebirth and Flashpoint. Just don't care. So, I can see myself dropping this after the first arc.
24. Blue Beetle - Dropped with #1. Not in the mood for a new introduction, as it feels like we JUST met Jaime. Also, I get that he's a Latin character, but the book is too in your face with the Spanish. It's off-putting in a way. I hope he opens a lot of doors for minority characters, but he's not for me.
25. Fury of Firestorm - My God this was a piece of shit. Dropped with #1. It's such a cliched mess. I expected the comic adaptation of City Guys, but I expected better dialogue. This needed to happen, though, just to show that Gail can and does write shit every now and then. I know that's a controversial notion to some, but she's human, so she's capable of error. She sucked on Gen13, she sucked on Wonder Woman, she sucked on The Atom, and she sucked on this. Not everything she writes turns to gold. This was a horrible, horrible book. DC seems to think Firestorm deserves to be represented in some fashion, but they just can't wrap their brains around the proper way to do it.
26. Mr Terrific - Dropped with #3. It seemed like most people were reading because they heard Karen Starr was in it. Then, they lost their shit when she turned out to be his fuck buddy rather than Power Girl. While I don't claim to know a ton about Mr Terrific, this ain't the guy I remember. They want him to be too many things. He's black Tony Stark, with a hint of Reed Richards. He's so smart, yet such a disaster. He's about to lose his company, he travels to microdimensions, and he's visited by his supposedly dead son from the future. Plus, the pacing is just all wrong. He proceeds to tell his origin as post-coital pillow talk. It comes off like, "Thanks for the pussy. So, let me tell you about my dead wife." I just don't care anymore. I think folks are now reading it just hoping for clues as to where the new JSA will come from. Since DC has pretty much said that this is where you'll find clues, I don't expect the book to go anywhere anytime soon. I just won't be along for the ride.
27. Static Shock - Dropped with #3. I really wanted to support this book. Fun character, Scott McDaniel art. That said, like Green Lantern, it felt like too much had occurred prior to the series. I don't even know where such events could have occurred, as Static's appearances were irregular pre New 52. It just didn't feel accessible. Started to feel like a chore.
28. Frankenstein - Intriguing ideas, but its tone didn't seem to fit everything else going on in the New 52. I enjoyed the character in Seven Soldiers but that series worked because it was so outside the DCU norm. I might like this as a Vertigo book, but it felt like Hellboy. If I wanted to read a Hellboy clone, I'd just read Atomic Robo. Dropped with #1.
29. Justice League Dark - Interesting, but it's really just Shadowpact borrowing on the clout of the Justice League brand. I don't like magical bullshit, so this was dropped with #1.
30. Blackhawks - a few yrs ago, when they knew they were losing the G.I. Joe license, Devils Due went after the license for The Corps. You know The Corps - they're the G.I.Joe knockoffs that your grandma always gets you 'cause she doesn't know any better. Instead of The Baroness, there's The Contessa. You get the picture. Anyway, they only got out a #0 before they apparently forgot they had the license. Why do I bring this up? It's because this feels like that series. It's DC's Chinese knockoff Joe team. I don't think the DCU needs a Joe team. After all, Checkmate seems to still be in existence. Where does this group fit into things? Tonally, there's just no place for this team, and I don't feel like getting to know them.
And The Rest: OMAC, Captain Atom, Green Lantern Corps, Green Lantern: Emerald Knights, Red Lanterns, Hawk & Dove, LOSH, Legion Lost, Deathstroke, Grifter, Voodoo, Stormwatch, All-Star Western, Men at War, Animal Man, Swamp Thing, Demon Knights, Resurrection Man, I, Vampire, Green Arrow, DC Universe Presents, Savage Hawkman - skipped, no interest
DC also decided to slip a few miniseries out amongst the 52 ongoings. Lately, I have a "no mini" policy, as they rarely add any value to a franchise. If it turns out to be important, I can always get the trade. So, I skipped Penguin: Pain & Prejudice because, well, it's a book about Penguin! I also skipped The Shade because, while the Starman Omnibus series taught me that James Robinson is an incredible writer, with an incredible take on The Shade, it simultaneously taught me that I have no desire to read those characters outside of collected editions. So, I'll skip it for now. There's some scuttlebutt that sales are low and the series may not reach completion, but that's just a risk I'm willing to take. I gave Huntress a chance, but I'm done with #2. People online are raving over this thing, and I don't have a clue as to why. Sure, Marcus To's art is beautiful, but the glacial pacing would shame even Marvel editors. It's going nowhere fast, and I'd just rather save the money.
So, it seems like I just had a lot of bile to spew, but there are some bright spots: Aquaman, most of the Bat books, Justice League, and others. The bottom line, however, was that these results could've been achieved from a creator shuffle and NOT a full-scale revamp. It was GREAT PR, but that's only going to last so long. At this point, the sales have pretty much settled down, with Marvel again taking the lead market share. This tactic may have attracted new fans, but at the cost of old school fans. I'll admit that I don't like change. I'm a curmudgeon like that, but I'll still give things a chance. I'll give credit where credit is due, so I feel there are some bright spots out there for DC. As a whole, however, I don't think there's enough evidence to call this a rousing, long-term success. What I can say is that DC closed out 2011 with a highest profile than they've had since Superman died. At this rate, they'll be the popular girl again by 2032.
Thrift Justice – What You Leave Behind
It's funny when people find out about my whole thrifting obsession. One of the first questions I get is "Where do you keep all of the stuff?" Well, it's spread across the state of Maryland in various strongholds. Or am I lying? The point I wanted to make today is that, contrary to popular belief, I don't buy every quirky little thing that I come across. In fact, there are a lot of items that I'm simply thrilled to see, and don't really need to go through the trouble of lugging them home. There have been many items that caught my eye for various reasons, but I had to leave them where they were. I thought I'd share a few of those with you today.
If this isn't your first time here, then you already know that I have an unhealthy affinity for boybands. It is what it is. That said, it was a lot worse when I was in high school. I bought more YM and Teen People than any heterosexual male should ever purchase. I couldn't help it, though - every issue seemed to focus on some boyband du jour, and I LOVED the embarrassing stories letter columns. Those chicks were TOTALLY MORTIFIED!
Anyway, I just found the cover to this to be hilarious. 98 Degrees were in a weird place, as they actually came out prior to the boyband explosion, and then had to change their image to fit with the times. Just look at the nerdlinger in the middle. I STILL don't know how he got in that group. Was he just a really old Make-A-Wish patient or something?
Once upon a time, Haim Saban gave birth to a really gifted child, known as the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. Since Haim had a success on his hands, and he LOVED money, he decided to give birth to another child. This second child would take advantage of the world's new fascination with the concept of "virtual reality". He created VR Troopers, in which a bro, his black friend, and the chick who won't let him bang, all have the ability to enter a VR world, where they fight a white businessman who hasn't yet learned that the real fun is in foreclosures. Oh, and there's also a talking dog. Anyway, Saban's second child was seen as the retard of the dynasty, and we done away with after 2 seasons. What you're seeing is a GIANT figure of main character Ryan Steele in his VR form. This thing is a good 15 inches, at least. It was made by Kenner, so it boasts minimal articulation. There was a part of me that felt it would make a quirky mantle piece, but I just didn't want such a totem of failure messing up my chi. So, I had to leave Ryan behind.
OK, now this one is a real kicker. I was in an antique mall, and stumbled upon this little piece of history. You're not going to be able to read the text, so let me spell it out for you. On the left is a letter written to James Earl Ray, who you might know from history class as Martin Luther King's convicted assassin. I put the word "convicted" in there, as an article featured in the New Times magazine on the right implied that King's death was part of a vast conspiracy. If you want to know more about that, there's always Google and Wikipedia. No, the interesting part is on the left. It was a letter sent to Ray while he was in prision. The author of the letter was giving Ray his support, saying that the article had provided enough evidence that the case should be reopened. At the bottom of this letter, Ray actually wrote a reply, with prisoner number, signature, and all. It's also funny that he writes "Ray" the same way it was written on the movie poster for the Ray Charles biopic. Now, THAT would be a conspiracy!
Before he became an internet meme and Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris was just a dude with a beard who starred in borderline shitty movies. He also had a actually shitty 80s cartoon, called Chuck Norris: Karate Kommandos. Ya know, considering how many shows kept replacing "C" with "K" in their titles, it's no wonder our generation can barely read. Hell, one of your friends might be reading this aloud to you as we speak! But I digress...The 80s were an odd time, what with deregulation and all, where you could have a 5-episode miniseries that's rerun throughout an entire season and also spawns a toy line. FIVE EPISODES! But that's exactly what happened here.
I got one of the figures when they first came out. Still have him. You can't imagine the torture I inflicted on that thing. The one toy that I always wanted, however, was his car (or would that be "kar"?). Actually, its proper name is the "Karate Corvette." I honestly can't believe they didn't go with "Korvette"; who was steering this ship?! Oddly enough, I've been having dreams about this toy lately. Don't ask why - I couldn't tell you myself. The dreams must have been an omen, however, that the Karate Corvette would soon enter my life. Ever since I started doing these thrift runs, I had a mental list of toys that I expected to see, and this car was always on it. Last week, my search was over, as it was right before my eyes. This car is 80s badassery cranked up to 11. Not only is it a Corvette, which was THE pussydrencher automobile of the decade, but it had fucking ninja blades that popped out of the sides and hood! It's like a 4-wheeled assault on homeless guys who try to wash your windows at red lights! I always wanted this car, but this one wasn't in the best shape, plus it's almost the size of a Barbie Corvette. No, I would have to leave it behind. After all, Chuck can't drive it in the World of Warcraft, anyway.
Back when I was 12, and before I learned that they showed boobs during Masterpiece Theatre, Ghostwriter was the coolest thing on PBS. Basically, it's about a bunch of New York tweens who solve mysteries through the power of literacy. They were aided by Ghostwriter, who appeared like a karaoke ball and would rearrange available letters to send them messages. Sure, it sounds pretty dumb now, but it was pretty engrossing, especially when most story arcs were 4-5 episodes long - somewhat unheard of in children's programming. None of those kids went anywhere, except for Spanish Kid #2 who ended up as Token Gay Guy on The Real World: Philadelphia. Nope, no room for this in my lair. Plus, I'm still kinda pissed off that they never got around to telling Ghostwriter's origin!
Blue Collar Ninja! How awesome is that?! It's like something out of The Adventures of Dr. McNinja. I'm STILL kicking myself for leaving him behind. He would've looked GREAT on a shelf, but I was put off by his bootleg nature. He looked like the kind of thing that would just fall apart once I got him out of the bag. Blue collar ninja! He pays bills, drives a truck, and SILENTLY KILLS PEOPLE!
So, on that note, I think I'll wrap this up. This is most likely the last Thrift Justice post of 2011, so I thank you all for joining me for the ride. Be sure to come back in 2012, when I'll be another year older, yet hopefully just as funny. Until next time, keep your feet on the ground, and keep reaching for the stars!
Thrift Justice: YSE – Yard FAILS
So, you read all of these posts, and you simply MUST wonder at all of the luck that I seem to have. "Where does he get all those wonderful toys?" Well, my friends, it's not all sunshine and sloppy joes over here at Casa West. You see I, like you, sometimes fail. I've been trying to put this post together for a while, but recent events seemed to dictate that now was the time. During my last real yard sale run, I decided to bring trooperlite along with me. Known as "Special Forces" from my TRU days, we both share a love of thrifting and Power Rangers. I figured it'd be fun to have a partner in crime, so off we went. And this was single-handedly the worst yard sale run I've ever experienced. He apologized for jinxing me - while I don't blame him for my misfortune, it probably was his fault. I mean, when I'm alone, I'm UNSTOPPABLE! All kidding aside, though, I've found that "you can't win 'em all", and every trip is still a learning experience. I figured I'd let you in on a few of my biggest yard fails. NOTE: The pictures are crappy to hide my shame.
Transformers are proving to be my blind spot. I can't pretend to know more about Transformers than Bumblebee, Optimus Prime, and Megatron. I have the Transformers knowledge of a suburban soccer mom - "Ooh, look how cool and yellow this little guy is!" That said, I know that TF toys are highly collectible, so I find myself taking chances on things that I really shouldn't. If there's one thing I've learned, it's "stick with what you know". I don't yet have a TF expert in the fold, so this had led to quite a few disappointments. Mainly, I've learned that you'll NEVER find a complete Transformer in a yard sale/thrift store capacity. That being said, for me the main criterion is "Can it still transform?" Basically, if it can still be changed from mode to mode, and isn't missing important appendages, it's good enough for me. Even worse is when dealing with Beast Wars/Beast Machines toys. About a month ago, I bought around 12 Beast Wars figures, and after sorting through them I could say that only 3 of them were anywhere near a "complete" state. That's why there are very few Transformers items coming to Will's World of Wonder - I don't want to pass off crap to people. If you see a TF toy on there, it's been extensively researched to make sure it's worthy of someone's collection. *end of shameless plug*
ALWAYS check DVD packages! If it's open, make sure the disc is in there! You see, a few months back, I discovered the USA show PSYCH, and fell in love. Where had this show been all my life? So, as luck would have it, the following week I ran across a yard sale near my house. This yard sale was a bit shady, based on the quality of items I saw. A recent trend I've noticed is that the popularity of Storage Wars has gotten more people into the storage auction game. Unfortunately for them, most units aren't filled with rare artifacts, but rather the personal effects of some single mom as she left town under the cover of night. So, they win these lockers, and then host yard sales to make their money back. Everything is usually a dollar, because it's dirty and/or there's no guarantee that it works. That's exactly the kind of sale that this was. However, I conveniently forgot all of this when I looked on his DVD table and saw PSYCH Season 1. I can experience this magical show from the beginning! And for a mere American dollar! God bless America! So, I snatched it up, along with some other things, and I paid the man. So, I got home, and threw it on the shelf with the rest of the unwatched DVDs. A few weeks later, I decided to check it out, and I noticed that there was a disc missing. Damn it! And not just any disc, but Disc ONE - with the pilot episode. Double Damn it! I wanted to see how it all began. If I wanted to see any random ass episode, I'd just watch ION late at night. So, I can't sell it without a Disc 1, but it'd also be foolish to buy a new one just for one disc (which I almost did on Black Friday). Curse you, yard sale guy!!!!
You'd think I'd learned my lesson with that yard sale guy, right? Wrong. You see, he managed to approach me in such a way that I found myself visiting his weekly sale throughout the season. Here's how he did it: I wanted some IKEA desk lamps that he had, but I wasn't sure if they worked. I asked him about them, but he answered that he didn't know. Great sales pitch, right? He, then, followed up with this pearl of wisdom: "Think of it like a scratch-off ticket. It's only a dollar. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, but you're only out a dollar." The greasy prophet was RIGHT! And I LOVE scratch-off tickets! Seriously, my aunt started buying them for me when I was 8, and I've loved a good scratcher since then. In fact, it's part of the reason that I don't regularly carry cash - if I end up at a 7/11, I'm wasting that money on scratch-off tickets. I wouldn't say I have a gambling addiction, as I'm not betting on the ponies, nor have I been to a casino. I will say that I'm addicted to "chance". So, after that beautiful soliloquy, he had me as a loyal customer.
So, what did I end up foolishly buying? A used Super Nintendo. I never had one growing up, but I figured it would fit in nicely with the rest of my antiquated gaming systems, like my Sega Saturn and my Gamecube. Again, I asked him if it worked, and because it was higher than the $1 price, he guaranteed me that it worked. He even threw in some games, like Super Mario All-Stars and some other notable stuff. At the end of it all, I threw down $10. OK, audience: who knows what happened when I got home? Did the SNES work? OF COURSE IT DIDN'T! My dumb fault, I know. So, the next week, I went back to his sale (remember, these were a weekly occurrence) and told him how the system didn't work. He feigned surprise, and was like, "Here, take some more games." He grabbed all the SNES games he had left, and piled them up in my arms. Excellent customer service, right? Well, yeah, unless you realize one small tidbit: I DIDN'T HAVE A WORKING SYSTEM ON WHICH TO PLAY THEM! So, now I've got a shitload of SNES games that I can't play, nor can I even test them to sell. I'll tell you this, though: the minute yard sale season starts back up, I'll be right back there at his sale. I'm a sucker.
Epiloque
So, based on the weather, the "yard sale season" is pretty much over. Even still, mixed in with various holiday and church bazaars, I've managed to find a few yard sales. Last week, I made somewhat of a dumb purchase. It's not exactly a "fail", but it's hardly a success. Yes, I bought a Disney animation cell. It's from Robin Hood, and on the back it's signed by the voice actor for the character. Pretty nice, right? Except for 2 things: 1) they stored it in their attic, so it has sustained some sort of heat damage and 2) the autograph is made out to "the Levitts". So, I spent money on a damaged item that was personalized for someone else. But it's a Disney animation cell!!! I've spent $25 on worse, and at least I didn't have to get tested afterwards!
So, the yard sale season may be over, but I've still got more stories you haven't heard. Summer may be over, but Thrift Justice: YSE is just getting started!
Off To See The Wizard…
So, in an effort to sort out my junk room, I decided that I could probably start with my longbox of Wizard publications. I quickly tired of being reminded of Wetworks and Vampirella books, so I decided to focus on my issues of Toyfare instead. For those not really "in the know", Toyfare was a monthly magazine published by the fine folks who also gave the world Wizard: The Guide to Comics (which later rebranded itself as a "Men's Pop Culture Magazine", whatever that means). Anyway, Wizard used to highlight toys, but as the industry ramped up, there was too much to report than the meager 2 pages in Wizard allowed, so the toy focus was spun off into its own magazine. At its best, Toyfare gave an in-depth look at fan favorite toy lines. At its worst, it was a glorified toy catalog. To be honest, "glorified" doesn't even fit, as regular toy catalogs at least listed prices - something Toyfare couldn't be bothered to do in many cases. Anyway, while flipping through the pages, a few thoughts came to mind, and I figured I'd share them here.
-What happened to Palisades Toys? I was never a Muppets fan, but I could respect that they truly paid attention to detail in making those Muppets toys.
-Diamond Select should've been run out of business for those horrible Serenity figures. I've actually said this to DST staffers. They like to change the subject when that line is brought up. I'm no Serenity fan, but I know a slap in the face when I see it.
-Did Hasbro ever present a use for those Jedi Master points?
-Is bbi still around? I remember they used to make those awesomely detailed solider dolls. Sometimes they'd use a Hollywood likeness without ever really securing the rights. So, instead of a Saving Private Ryan doll, it'd be a "World War II Officer" with a Tom Hanks face or something.
-An issue from 2002 stated that we had a better shot of seeing a Thundercats revival before a true G.I. Joe renaissance. Huh.
-The book REALLY started to suck when they took a parody approach to the articles. It was cute for the April Fools issue, but for a good 3 years every article in the book was like a Robot Chicken skit. While Robot Chicken showed that approach could be funny, it just gets tired in print.
-I wonder how many of the toys previewed in Toyfare actually NEVER came to fruition. I know for a fact that King of the Hill Series 2 never came out. That was when everyone wanted to jump on the interactive soundchip playset bandwagon, but I guess Toycom realized they couldn't swing it.
-When they started posting the Complete Photo Guides to toy lines, that made the magazine worth the price of admission.
-Near the end, they were just reprinting the movie articles from Wizard, seeing as how comic movies also tended to have toylines.
-I never realized how many 80s Toy Quizzes they published. That magazine survived an extra 3 years just by jerking off fans to fantasies of a M.A.S.K. revival.
Culling the ranks of the Toyfare stash didn't take much time, so then I cam back around for the herculean task of weeding out the Wizards. After all, I had a complete run for about 10 years or so. Along the way, I noticed a few interesting things:
-Where is Christina Z these days? For those not in the know, she was the first woman to make Wizard's Top 10 Writers List, and she used to write Witchblade back when it was all T&A. That way, whenever someone criticized it for being a T&A book, Top Cow could protest, "No, it's written by a woman!" Her last publicized work was Jenna Jameson's Shadow Hunter. I bet that wasn't a T&A book at all...
-Paula Cole should sing "Where have all the CCGs gone?"
-I don't want anything to do with J. Scott Campbell until he finishes Wildsiderz.
-Brandon Jerwa started his career on G.I. Joe with a fan submission
-I had no idea Fox has been using the "Animation Domination" name for its Sunday block since 2005!
-Broken Promises: Bryan Singer's Ultimate X-Men arc
-Broken Promises: Jeff Loeb & J. Scott Campbell's Spidey title
-Broken Promises: When Bendis left The Pulse, he said it would continue with another writer. This didn't happen.
-Yay! Kubert's on Batman. Surely, he'll have a long run on this book!
-In '03, J.Scott Campbell went exclusive with DC. Can anyone name what came from that? Anyone? No, because NOTHING came from that contract.
-Why did they stop making DC Minimates?
-There was actually an article called "Treasured Chests", where they compared the cleavage of Talia Al Ghul, Power Girl, and some Wildstorm chick.
-Kia Asamiya. Yes, I get that everyone had Manga Fever, but WHO THE FUCK PUT HIM ON X-MEN?!!!
-Broken Promises: Loeb & Lee's promised post-Hush 6-issue arc on Batman.
-Before they diversified their brand with Pilot Season, Top Cow was pretty much just, "Hey, kids! Tits!"
-After Chaos went under, Lady Death went to the Code 6 imprint at Crossgen. Now, she's at Avatar, under the Boundless imprint. Lady Death: She Doesn't Just LOOK Like The Village Bicycle!
-There was an Olympic ad in the March 2002 issue. Like, a real brand, and not some e-store or superhero-inspired motorcycle jackets. The actual Olympics, with the athletes and shit. SO out of place.
-Chaos allowed fans to serve as associte editors on books. They spun it as "interaction", but it was really just cheap labor. They went under soon afterwards.
-Only in 2002 could Joe Mad make the Top 10 Most Influential Artists List. He ranked higher than Sienkiewicz!!!
-Broken Promises: Kevin Smith was supposed to take over Amazing Spider-Man, and JMS was to move over to a new book. Smith also said in interviews that he only agreed if they would allow him to reunite MJ and Peter.
-Broken Promises: Kevin Smith was also announced as the writer of a new iteration of Brave and the Bold just before signing an exclusive with Marvel.
-Based on the number of articles, Fathom "returned" about 12 times, but never actually finished.
-Top Cow has been streamlining its universe since 2001, with no end in sight. The first event, Universe, made Tomb Raider & Fathom part of TC canon...interesting, seeing as how both properties are no longer under the TC umbrella.
-Where is Devin Grayson? Did her career end at the same time as her relationship with Mark Waid?
-I think the best depiction of Rogue was the promo image to her Icons mini. She's strong and athletic - believably 19 (which is the age she's rumored to be), and not a busty, 30-something skunkhead.
-Alicia Witt would've been a MUCH better Mary Jane in the Spider-Man movies.
-Instead of rushing to reprint them, Bill Jemas put the Ultimate titles online, 12 pages at a time, to "reward the readers and retailers who jumped on the Ultimate bandwagon at the beginning, thus making those initial issues all the more valuable." - 2001
-In 2001, Poison Elves creator Drew Hayes signed an unprecedented 50 year deal with Sirius Entertainment. While this was clearly a publicity stunt, Drew would pass away in 2007.
-Casting Call: Geoff Johns cast Heath Ledger as Wally West and Owen Wilson as Trickster.
-Issue #110's letter column only featured mail sent by prisoners.
-They used to have a column called "oops..." where they made corrections to previous stories. This was phased out in later years, as the entire magazine became one giant collection of typos and mistakes.
-Broken Promises: Top Cow got the A-Team rights in 2000. Did nothing with them.
-Did America ever get Bandai's handheld system, the WonderSwan Color?
-They were REALLY pushing for Brendan Fraser to be Superman, as they cast him in 3 different Casting Call articles over the years.
-Casting Call: Tom Selleck as Tony Stark, Kevin Sorbo as Thor, and Howie Long as Cap. This would've been fine...in 1990. They also cast Howie Long as Duke in G.I. Joe. Wizard really liked Howie Long.
-The same character was named "Venus", "Sexbot", and finally "Aphrodite IX"
-Finally, back when DC did the whole Superman Red/Blue thing, a few high profile artists were asked to redesign Superman's iconic suit. One of those artists happened to be Jim Lee. Looks like he's been married to that high-collar design for quite some time...
So, what were your favorite Toyfare/Wizard memories?
Thrift Justice – Extreme Home Edition
Don't worry, it's not another spinoff. At least, I don't think... Actually, come to think of it, that would be kinda cool. But I'm not committing to anything yet. After all, I've only done one Thrift Justice: YSE post, so it'd be a little audacious to come up with a second spinoff. It's not like I'm Norman Lear.
Anyway, I tend to focus on toys and collectibles, but I thought I'd show a more practical application for thrifting. Sure a lot of people use thrifting to find collectibles and goods to resell, but others use it simply to survive. Their clothes, furnishings, etc come from thrifting, either because of financial constraints or the simple fact that they know a good deal when they see one. I like to think I'm a little of column A and a little of column B. So, I thought I'd show you a few of the ways that thrifting has added to my living space.
First up, we have this full length mirror. I actually rescued this thing from next to the dumpster at my old apartment. I'm pretty sure that it was once part of a dresser or something, but this was all that I found. Now, I know that you can buy a full-length mirror from Target for about $9, but this thing is QUALITY. It's solid wood and heavy as Hell, so it has lived on the floor most of the time that I've owned it. Seriously, I've had it almost 3 years, and we JUST hung it on the wall last month. Prior to that, you could only really see how you looked from the neck down.
Lindsay's really into wine & wine decor, so we knew that my comic posters and figure displays would have to be balanced with something a bit...classier. Luckily, her stuff got banished to the kitchen! Everything you see in those pictures was thrifted. I got it all from yard sales and thrift stores, at different times. Basically, if I saw something wine-themed, I'd get it. It was only by chance and my keen eye that we were able to tie it all together into a configuration that makes sense.
This wine rack? Found in the trash room of Lindsay's old apartment. Not IN the trash (I haven't gotten to the dumpster diving level of thrifting...yet), but just in the room of stuff folks didn't want anymore. Her old roommate, Dave, actually found it and thought I might want it. He thought right!
Speaking of Dave, he also gave us this bookshelf when Lindsay was moving out. He didn't have room for it, and it was just heading for the aforementioned trash room. "One man's trash..." So, it has now become the home of Lindsay's Mighty Muggs collection. I may not have gotten her into comics, but I've found other ways to infect her with the collecting bug. Just the collecting bug, though. Honest! I got tested and everything.
As you've probably noticed, a lot of our thrifted goods end up in the kitchen. It doesn't get more "kitchen" than the kitchen table. So, a little backstory: my mom plays Bingo every week at the local McDonalds. Don't laugh - she's 73 and can do whatever the Hell she wants! Anyway, one of her Bingo buddies is a master thrifter. He drives around a weird unmarked van, filled with stuff he's found and wants to share. Every now and then, he'll invite her out to his van to choose stuff. Hey...wait a minute...this guy is gonna be my new daddy, isn't he?!! But I digress, he always come across the best stuff. For instance, she got a refrigerator from him for $80, which was just really the cost of moving it. Now that I think of it, yup, he's definitely trying to be my new daddy. I'm not gonna mention the fact that the fridge didn't really keep stuff cold, and food would grow mold within 7 days; that would just taint the magic of the tale. Anyway, Mommy's Special Friend came across this table in a house that was being torn down. We were looking for a kitchen table, and the comparable IKEA model was about $170. This table: $25, and that included the chairs!
My mom actually got Lindsay this microwave when she moved into her first apartment a few years back. I believe she got it from an estate sale, for about $5. They don't make 'em like this anymore! You could put a whole baby in there. And I'm not talking about some preemie - I'm talking about one as fat as that cigarette-smoking baby from the news! Mmmm....smoked baby.
OK, this one is a bit hard to make out, so you'll probably need to do some clicky and make it biggie. I came across this in a new thrift store at the end of the summer. It really caught my eye, and I thought it was a steal at $7, just for the size alone. It takes up a good portion of the wall as you enter the apartment, and we'd been looking for something to put there. So, what is it? Well, it's an American flag, although it has the words to Barack Obama's "Yes We Can" speech written in the white stripes. Also, the stars have been replaced with "Yes We Can"s. I'm not about to get all political on here, and that's really not the point. It's meaningful because Lindsay and I officially became a couple on Election Night 2008. We, as well as a good portion of the country, were swept up in Obama Fever, and regardless of thoughts on the 1%, Obamacare, or longform birth certificates, this piece of art constantly reminds me of where we started. *studio audience awwws*
Anyway, that's this week's TJ post. It wasn't quite a look at the West Cave, but I don't know if I'll ever get it clean enough for pictures, anyway. I just wanted to show you that my thrifting isn't all about toys and comics, and that I also use my powers for practical uses from time to time. OK, seriously, next TJ will be that YSE post I've been promising, where I go into a lot of my recent thrift FAILS.
It’s Beginning To Geek A Lot Like Christmas – An Interview With Geeks For Tots
This should come as a surprise to no one, but many kids out there won't receive gifts this holiday season. Times are hard for everyone, but luckily that's where Toys For Tots comes in. People donate toys to the organization and kids who otherwise wouldn't have a fun holiday can get some kick butt presents. And to help encourage people to donate to Toys for Tots, the Geeks for Tots contest gives you a chance to win lots of cool prizes just for donating to Toys for Tots!
I've had experience "adopting" a family for the holidays, and I really enjoyed knowing that I was helping to brighten someone's holiday. Of course I'm behind this contest 100%, but I asked Vincent at Geeks for Tots a few questions so that you can become more familiar with the organization.
How did you get into this?
Well it's for selfish reasons. When G.I. Joe was having a 25th anniversary the line wasn't getting much shelf space. I thought it was a shame, since 25 years ago whole aisles would have been dedicated to G.I. Joe. I thought, "How could I get G.I. Joes into kid's hands and possibly make more Joe fans?" What followed was the brilliant idea to try to get people to buy G.I. Joes to put into the Toys For Tots system in order to spark interest in the line with kids.
Well of course that quickly transformed into wanting to get any toys into the hands of kids. Now I do it because it's fun and helps kids, but I still buy G.I. Joes to drop off with Toys for Tots.
Why Joes for Tots, leading to why the switch to Geeks for Tots?
Like I said, the original idea was G.I. Joe based, but after taking a year off from the contest I thought that it would be easier to market the thing to a broader spectrum of people with a more general geek name. Plus the focus of the contest was not on G.I. Joes, so it just makes a lot more sense to do it this way.
What's the takeaway message of the whole thing?
Kids need help! Yes there's charities to make sure they have food an clothing, but it's such a depressing thought of getting nothing for Christmas. I had a friend once who wasn't that well off that got shampoo for Christmas. Shampoo! Toys for Tots helps lifts the spirits a bit and gives some hope in what should be a fun time.
Any memorable stories since you've started the charity?
Uh nothing really except some of the donation pics I've gotten. People always look super happy in them. And some people have donated a whole bunch of stuff. One family had a whole mini-van worth of toys. Another guy started up a toy drive and entered and he ended up winning the grand prize. It was a totally random thing, so it was cool to see karma going in a positive direction for once.
So, are you convinced? Ready to enter the contest?! Well, there are two ways to enter:
- You can take a picture of yourself donating to a Toys for Tots drop off box and send it to us.
- Send proof of an online cash donation to the Toys For Tots website (they send an email receipt that can be forwarded).
Both entries should go to geeksfortots@gmail.com. Please include “Geeks for Tots Entry” in the subject line.
You can find drop off locations here or you can call your local Toys For Tots representative.
For a full list of prizes, as well as official contest rules, be sure to visit the Geeks For Tots website!
Will’s World of Wonder – It’s Begins! #111111
I need more collector friends - In Real Life collector friends. It's not always easy being a collector. First off, non-collectors think you have a problem akin to an addiction. If that's not bad enough, other collectors become the competition. You find yourself not wanting to share your secret haunts, fearing that other collectors will milk them dry. Plainly put, the life of a collector can be a lonely, paranoid one. But it doesn't have to be.
For me, Twitter changed everything. Through Twitter, I've found collector friends. I've been able to compare war stories and let folks know which chains have the newest stuff. A lot of the time, we come across stuff someone's looking for, and we help each other out (I know that Suribot, Engineernerd, and MrSithy can attest to that!). It truly is a sense of community, and it makes The Hunt a little less lonely.
Ah, yes - The Hunt. I know there are folks who hate hunting for new toys, but I'm not one of those people. I've heard that it's a waste of time and gas. Like anything you love, you have to make time for it. And, honestly, I feel like driving to work is a bigger waste of gas than looking for toys. That's just the kind of guy I am. The Hunt is like a drug, and looking forward to it is the only thing that gets me through the day sometimes. That rush you get as you make your way to the action figure aisle. The sense of dread you feel as you round the corner and see a guy standing in the middle of the aisle. Is he in front of the DC Universe Classics or the Young Justice figures? Is he a "friendly"? What's in his cart?! AM I TOO LATE?!!! Just the thoughts that run through the mind of the collector.
For all of the excitement of The Hunt, I've found that I love the experience more than the reward. I've found myself buying figures for lines in which I only have a passing interest. That has led to a room filled with toys - both loose & unopened. The thing about The Hunt is that I've gotten damn good at it. I'm really not one to toot my own horn, but I've got a keen eye, and I come across amazing deals. If something catches my eye, I just can't leave it behind.
There's another reason I can't seem to leave toy runs empty handed. You see, there's been a lot of talk lately about collectors' "Holy Grails" - those seemingly unattainable items that would complete any collection. When I see certain items in stores, I can't bear the thought of a kid ending up with someone's Holy Grail. Don't get me wrong - I love kids AND I love toys, but I don't necessarily love them together. My time at TRU taught me that most toys are purchased by exhausted moms and clueless grandmas. As a result, kids don't always get what they want, nor do they appreciate those toys that they do get. They're rough on toys, and it keeps those toys from getting into the hands of those would do appreciate them. Now, sometimes that person is a 30 year old man, but who am I to question love? All I'm saying is that I don't think many kids want a figure of a hipster with a big staff, but I know a lot of collectors would like to have Modern Starman. So, sometimes I grab stuff in the hopes that I might one day cross paths with that collector, or maybe I already talk to him online (don't bother pointing out the holes in my logic; I'm already aware).
So, I'm sorry if it seems like I'm rambling. This whole thing is building to a point. These are the key things to take away from this:
1) I'm looking to strengthen the collector community
2) I'm constantly on The Hunt for new things, many of those trips ending in success
3) I need a way to offer these finds to those who might appreciate them
So, what did I do? I created a storefront. I'd like to introduce you to Will's World of Wonder.
WHY?
I've always kinda toyed with the idea of being something of a "toy broker". A few months back, my e-pal The Robot's Pajamas put is best when he tweeted: "It's seriously weird how I want to collect toys to sell now. I get a much bigger joy out of helping other collectors than owning things." He took the words out of my mouth. I mean, to me, it's really just enough coming into contact with certain items, but I know I wouldn't appreciate them as much as someone else out there might. As you've seen in my Thrift Justice pieces, I come across some pretty cool stuff, and I'd like an avenue to share those things with others.
I've had a lot of success with craigslist, but those are just local sales. I don't know what it is about it, but I just see Ebay as an old man's game these days. Now, I know there are a TON of storefront sites out there, so why did I want to enter that pool? Out of all of those sites, many of the ones I've encountered are just people trying to offload stuff they're tired of, but you're pretty much limited to that stock. Well, I want to take the small town approach to retailing. Sure, you could go to CVS, but you go to the local pharmacy for the service and because they know your face. If you've already been reading this site, you have a pretty good idea of who I am. As naive as it may sound, despite the distance, I think of many of you as friends. I don't screw over my friends. Also, The Hunt isn't going to stop. I'd just like to use my powers to help others. If you're into a certain thing, shoot me an email. If you're an expert on a certain genre, I'd love to have your input on things. If you don't really like a price that you see, let me know and we might be able to work something out. At the end of the day, I want you to think of this as your store. If nothing else, it helps me stay abreast of trends, but I really want to think of other collectors as sort of "brothers in arms" instead of toy aisle threats. And for those who hate The Hunt, let me do the legwork for ya!
WHY NOW?
Well, the timing was really organic. I've been working on this for the last three months or so, but it couldn't have come at a better time. I'm currently planning a wedding, and those things ain't cheap! Plus, I'm sure Lindsay would love for me to clear some stuff out of the apartment. As icing on the cake, it's also holiday time, so I can help you make a dent in your shopping list!
WHERE DO YOU GET YOUR STUFF?
That's a great question. Honestly, it's from various sources. A lot of the stuff is from The West Collection. That's what I call my "I bought this in the heat of the moment but I could really use that money for invitations about now" pile. Also, while I worked at Diamond, I received a LOT of stuff that I wasn't allowed to sell while still employed by the company. A lot of it comes from my travels thrifting, yard saling, and the like. I'm always on the lookout, and I love a good hunt. In any case, the majority of it is comprised of things that I just feel might be more appreciated in someone else's home.
So, that about covers the main points. I wanted to take a more active role in the collecting community, so I decided to create a storefront. I know it's kinda bare bones, and not as flashy as other sites, but it's the goods that are the focus. I'm launching with 75 items that I feel do a good job of covering the genres I'm familiar with. I'm new to this whole thing, so bear with me as I work out the kinks. If you have any questions or concerns, please don't hesitate to contact me. In the meantime, I hope you like what you see! Also, before I go, I'd like to thank Matt Guzy, Vincent Robot, and Brian at Cool and Collected, as I couldn't have done this without their help!
- After seeing her video, I was impressed by Kina Grannis. Now, I see she's just Asian Ingrid Michaelson/Sara Bareilles. Sound isn't unique.
- Still don't know how Jem didn't ride that Frou Frou/Imogen Heap/Dido wave to be a bigger star #notthecartooncharacter
- RT @dinotoyvault: Today's a good day to order, I can hit the post office tomorrow!
- RT @TMZ: If THIS tweet gets 1,000 RTs, we'll never tweet about Kim Kardashian again
- You're killin' me, Smalls...
- Not only does she teach you things,but she does it with a German accent! https://t.co/iu99ZodX
- Is Judge Karen's background actually green screen? It looks fake. The depth is all weird.
- Any of y'all collect Super Powers? Trying to decide if there's enough of a demand for me to unload mine.
- Magical Source, Mystic Force! http://t.co/leKMgX5A
- Playmobil anyone? http://t.co/WzOepRdl
From The Vault
- My Adventures At The American Library Association Conference
- Fenwick Island FTW!
- Friendster's Full of Lesbians. Supposedly.
- 'Cause That Was Such A Great Move For Dana Carvey...
- Heathcliff
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