Today's Episode: "Where There's a Will, There Ain't Apparently A Way..."

So, in terms of occupation, I'm totally wasting my life. I mean, this has been brewing for awhile, but it's finally catching up to me. I feel like I'm doing nothing worthwhile, professionally.

I need to go back to school. I KNOW this. But for what? I think about law school, but I really just wanna be able to call myself "a lawyer". I call that my "Star Jones Complex". I don't know if I really want to practice law, but I'd like to be able to if I felt in the mood one morning. I think I'd make a good lawyer. You know, the Matlock kind who totally pulls something out of his ass to save the day at the last minute. I'd be a wildcard lawyer. People wouldn't really come to me unless they needed a miracle. And in my spare time, I'd be a legal consultant to "Inside Edition". Man, that'd be the life!

Next, I think about grad school. But what would I go for? I'm kinda done with the whole "head games" field. Yeah, Human Dev was fun and all, but it didn't exactly hone my mutant powers. It's like going to Xavier's and, after 15 yrs, still blasting holes in walls everytime you wake up in the morning. I was naturally gifted in reading people. Textbooks didn't teach me that. Sure, I could spend thousands MORE to become certified in reading people, or I could go out on a limb, and try something new.

I think I'd be great in government. Politics. Seriously. I LOVE some good muckraking, and I make a good "#2". No, you sickos, I don't mean "shit". I mean, I'm a good "man behind the man." I'd love to be a campaign manager or something one day, but for now, I'd really enjoy being a "cog in the wheel", as long as I could see that my work was worthwhile and contributing to something important. I'm all about the policy reform. As dumb as it sounds, I'd LOVE to be a Capitol Hill staffer right now. And it'd only be better for you readers, 'cause we've all learned how entertaining blogs of Hill staffers can be (google "Washingtonienne")

In college, people like Jennine used to talk about celebrities, such as Craig David, and lament, "He's our age." This was meant as, "Why aren't we totally celebrities or something?" At the time, I just brushed it off, as "Everything in its time." But now, I'm starting to feel the same way.

When will my ship come in? Do I even HAVE a ship? Are my reservations in "3rd class steerage" like all those peasants who drowned on the Titanic?!!

It's hard, 'cause I know pseudo-celebrities. I went to high school with four current NBA players (Jamison Brewer, Roger Mason, Rodney White, and Demarr Johnson). I had Entomology @ Cornell with a lingerie model (http://www.summerrayne.net). I swear, these better not be the 5 people I meet in Heaven, 'cause I am seriously asking for a transfer!

I just wonder, do I have some special talent I'm not exploiting? I feel like my best performance is ahead of me and not behind, but what form will it take? What am I supposed to be doing?

PLEASE someone help me!!! I mean it. Use the "comments" section. Use the guestbook. E-mail. I don't care. Suggestions, people!

"I'm not a praying man, but...Superman, if you can hear me..."

Posted by William @ 12/30/2004 01:06:33 AM
permalink | 2 comments

 

2 Comments:

• At 12/30/2004 11:07:27 AM, Anonymous said…

  I know this isn't going to help, but you are exhibiting all the classic signs of the Quarterlife crisis. Its a phase and in the steps I outlined in my blogging I explained about the mediocrity trap which is probably the most dangerous part of the quarterlife crisis. The deppressing part is that most people end up accepting their mediocrity and that is the only way out of the feeling of helplessness. 7 billion people in the world say that no person is special. Even the Craig David's and the John Maher's of the world mean nothing in the grand scheme of things. 20 years down the road noone will remember there name, because 99% of the world doesn't know it now.
  
  What this boils down to is that true fame and true accomplishments are only what they appear to be in yoru minds eye. Was singing on the Today Show a big accomplishment? 7 million people saw it, but who really gave a rat's ass? The only people who cared were the ones who knew you in the first place. Do Politicians matter? If you can tell me who Camille Chamoun, Otto Van Bismark, Shimon Perez, Metternich, and Robespierre were without google than maybe I'll say yes. Given that each of these were revolutionaries and possibly the greatest figures in their time and their environments, the fact that over 99% of the world has not heard of them should be a sobering fact.
  
  If you want an idea then I'll give you one. Do something that makes you happy. I'm not being cliche. When you complete something you enjoy you'll get a sense of accomplishment. Don't be disenchanted and disenfranchised by a lack of fame because fame is only an illusion of tommorow and yesterday. If what you love is to sing and record than record and sing. Who knows, if you're in the right place at the right time you might get the fame you seek. God and many others know you are a lot more talented than many of the hacks permeating the airways these days. If you want to record, come spend a week with me. I've written some songs and we can devote as many hours as it takes to get you the demo tracks you need. Then I'll help you try and be in the right place at the right time and help you distribute your recordings to all the right channels. Craig David's got nothing on you, nor Greg David for that matter. I'm there for you. Let me know.

   

• At 12/30/2004 01:33:59 PM, Anonymous said…

  Sing, ya bastard! Get a mic and learn to use it (like I told you to do a year ago), or at least go to Boston and use Tarek's. I've got at least one song ready that needs you, and I'll be writing more. I should be able to talk my friend Carmine, in NYC, into adding bass & percussion this time (check out some of his stuff: carmine.com). I'm jamming with Jason (remember the lead guitar from "Without Light"?) all the time, too, so we've got the whole band ready.

   

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