So, I've got a confession. I'm sort of ashamed to mention this, but here it goes:

I get nervous whenever I meet a Black guy.

Why?

Because I never quite know how he's gonna try to shake my hand.

You see, there's this underlying assumption that Black people don't dole out simple handshakes. No, it's assumed that we all use some kind of urban formula to concoct a secret means of greeting one another. And these things change by the week. It's like "body slang". Nobody wants to reveal that they don't know the newest greeting.

Will he come at me with the "pound-on-pound dap"? Will he give me the endearing "Bro-man handshake-hug combo"? Or will we settle on the convoluted "--handshake-elbow-chesting"? So many choices, and you only have a few seconds to figure out the proper course of action.

The minute someone says, "Will, I'd like you to meet my boy, DeVauhwn," I immediately start thinking, "Oh crap! Ok, Will...remember what they taught you in training. Just remember your training!"

Then you've gotta notice the body language. "OK, he's making a fist...I think we're going for dap. Now, are we going for a stacking-fist pound, or are we just gonna punch fists?"

Now, I wonder if other Black guys think about this, or is this something I picked up somewhere. I KNOW it's something that White guys think about. Why? Because I haven't had an honest-to-God simple handshake from a White guy under the age of 25 in the past 5 yrs! They always assume I'm gonna go in for some kind of Zord-summoning sign language when I really just want a firm grip. After all, isn't that what we all want?

Posted by William @ 5/30/2005 06:42:00 PM
permalink | 6 comments

 

6 Comments:

• At 5/30/2005 08:46:41 PM, rachel said…

  I am glad to be a woman...things aren't so confusing with the handshake. You do have the strange women who hug you right after meeting you though and since I have issues with strangers getting that close to me....it isn't the coolest. Anywho, next time I come to visit E- we should do dinner or something.

   

• At 5/31/2005 09:40:22 AM, sheldiz said…

  babe -- you realize you deserve whatever can of comment worms you just opened. you brought this on yourself! :)

   

• At 5/31/2005 09:45:29 AM, phillyjay said…

  Guys still give each other dap? Where have I been?

   

• At 5/31/2005 11:44:36 AM, sheldiz said…

  wait, what's dap? i can honestly say i've never heard that word before. a lil help, please. :)

   

• At 6/01/2005 01:30:01 PM, James said…

  Why a guy of any race would assume that special Black Entertainment Television-approved hand greetings are ever appropriate is beyond me.
  
  Maybe I'm too old now, but I can't recall White guys approaching me with anything more than a simple handshake. And any brother who tries gains only an awkward moment as I wait for him to regain his good sense.

   

• At 6/02/2005 11:21:32 PM, Austin said…

  In all honesty, when I shake another Asian guy's hand, there's a split second when I feel like, if I don't perform a fatality right then and there, I can be pretty sure he's going to do one on me. And then it'd be over.
  
  And sometimes, I just shake his hand.
  
  Sorry for the elurk...getting my ass kicked by the Man. I'll make it up you, soon.

   

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