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Monday, January 31, 2005
"I'd kill a man in front of his own mama for a ten-speed!"
Well, in this case, "ten-speed" means "Keane tickets", for their concert tomorrow night (Tuesday) at the 9:30 Club. I haven't been this hardcore into a band since 'Nsync. So, I guess you could say Willie's growing up. Anyway, that bitch is sold out, so if any of my crunchy friends out there have connections, I promise there's some granola in it for ya....
Posted by William @ 1/31/2005 11:11:26 PM
If I have daughters, I think I'm going to name them "Mandy" and "Tori".
Why? Because, when they grow up, they'll form a crime-fighting duo, named "MANDATORY!" (Yup, the exclamation mark is part of the name). Why, pray tell, do I want them to do a thing like this? Because, "Justice is MANDATORY!" Man, Stan Lee on his best day couldn't have come up with that! And to think, Shelly scoffed at this idea. There goes her "co-creator" credit!
Posted by William @ 1/31/2005 10:39:54 PM
Song of the Moment: "What Happens Tomorrow", by Duran Duran
Child don't you worry It's enough you're growing up in such a hurry Brings you down, The news they sell you To put in your mind that all mankind is a failure But nobody knows what gonna happen tomorrow We try not to show how frightened we are If you let me I'll protect you However I can You've got to believe it'll be alright in the end You've got to believe it'll be alright again Fighting because we're so close There are times we punish those who we need the most No, we can't wait for a saviour Only got ourselves to blame for this behaviour But nobody knows what's gonna happen tomorrow We try not to show how frightened we are It would seem lonely If you were the only Star in the night You've got to believe it'll be alright in the end You've got to believe it'll be alright again And nobody knows what's gonna happen tomorrow So don't let go, now we've come this far Hold my hand please Understand We're never alone We've got to believe it'll be alright in the end Nobody knows You've got believe it'll be alright my friend So don't let go And yes, we believe it'll be alright again So don't let go
Posted by William @ 1/31/2005 10:20:20 PM Thursday, January 27, 2005
Sometimes I wonder how old my mom is, psychologically. For the uninformed, she's 66. But she seems to enjoy the entertainment provided to 16 yr-olds.
Last summer, she was all about American Idol, The Simple Life, and the OC. Even I wasn't watching The OC, but she was enthralled. So, last night was the season premiere of The Simple Life: Interns, so i figured she'd watch it. But I was mistaken... I get home and ask, "Mommy, did you watch The Simple Life tonight?" And she said one of the worst things I've ever heard: "Nah, I didn't care too much to watch it. I can't stand that Ritchie girl...She looks like her panties stink!" Yeah. Wow. That's wrong on so many levels. Wow...
Posted by William @ 1/27/2005 10:50:28 PM
So, let's take a trip back to 2003. Even though "The Hulk" sucked ass at the movies, Hulk Hands were THE toy of the year. I think the profits from those things singlehandedly (no pun intended) helped Marvel break even.
Well, if history is to repeat itself, I give you THE toy of 2005:  I can't wait to track down some little kid with Hulk Hands and STOMP the shit out of him! Yeah, I said it...
Posted by William @ 1/27/2005 01:48:33 AM Monday, January 24, 2005
"No, Satan's voice is lower and he has an English accent."
ASK WILL I That's right, folks! I promised it was coming, and here it is. Ask me anything. This especially goes out to Jenn, who claims there's not enough "Will" on my site...
Posted by William @ 1/24/2005 01:22:14 AM Saturday, January 22, 2005
"Smurfs don't lay eggs! I won't tell you again! Papa Smurf had a fucking beard! They're clearly mammals!"
I've gotta tell ya, it feels so good that eBay and I have reignited our illicit love affair. I keep supplying the funds, and she keeps supplying the goods. So, what did I just get in the mail? Venture Bros Season 1! Yup, it's bootleg, but it's totally worth it. I've been on such an Adult Swim kick lately, which is hard to take care of, seeing as how I don't have cable and all. In the past week, I've bought Aqua Teen Hunger Force Seasons 1 & 2, and I just got Venture Bros. If you're not watching this show, you're totally missing out! While, it's not as absurd-yet-hilarious-if-you're-stoned funny, like ATHF or The Brak Show, Venture Bros is great if you understand pop culture, and always realized something was amiss in the Jonny Quest camp. If you mixed Jonny Quest with the Hardy Boys, and throw in a couple of dick and masturbation jokes, you've got the Venture Bros. For an added bonus, I found the blog for Jackson Publick, the creator of the show. http://www.livejournal.com/users/jacksonpublick/ After each episode, he went online and posted a lot of behind-the-scenes factoids, so it's like getting DVD bonus features for free. Anyway, Season 1 is currently in reruns on Cartoon Network, so check them out. If you want a Season 2, then tell ALL your friends, like I'm doing now, 'cause the show could definitely use the ratings. OK, back to ATHF... Go, Team Venture!
Posted by William @ 1/22/2005 10:29:16 PM
"That gay albino is hitting on your not-girlfriend!"
So, yesterday was a cavalcade of fun, I'll tell ya. Due to my total miscalculation of hours, I got cut cut from work early 'cause I made my 40 by 11:30. What happened next? Shopping and drinkin'! And it was good. Spent several hours at Dave & Busters with Shelly and our co-workers. It was actually a great time. Bonded with new folks, and revealed secrets to others. Can't remember the last time I started drinking at 1 in the afternoon, but it was a welcome change of pace after the week this has been. Afterwards, went back to Shelly's and helped her clean for her college friends who're visiting this weekend. You know what's weird? I realized I wash everyone's dishes but my own! I've washed Lip's dishes, Shel's dishes, probably washed a dish or two at James & Jenn's, but it is not something I do at home. Just find that weird... So, after leaving Shelly's, I THOUGHT I was going home, but Davis returned my call, and the next thing I knew, he was picking me up at Wheaton Metro. We ended up at Savannah's. What to say about Savannah's? Well, I can say it sure was surprising finding a redneck bar in Kensington, 'cause that's EXACTLY what it was. But for the record, Dave Murphy is a fucking laugh riot. The guy's a character. By the time we get there, he's already had 4 Seven & Seven's (my signature drink, so he's already racking up cool points). This girl comes in, he points right at her, and says, "I'd totally have sex with her." The point lingered even after the declaration. We crack up, and we're like, "Dude, you just can't point at people!" Anyway, we drank, Davis offended some guy who had picked up some Camelot strippers, and we ended up back at Davis's, passing out to some anime (Spriggin, for those who care). All-in-all, it was a fun, yet low-key night. Quote of the evening: "I've never had a Big mac before...I'm so excited! (pause) I wish these Mexicans would hurry the fuck up!" -Davis, in the McDonalds drive-thru as he anticipates the loss his Big Mac Virginity
Posted by William @ 1/22/2005 10:18:26 PM Friday, January 21, 2005
"...This town needs an enema!"
Happy Inauguration Day, AKA "Black Thursday"! Yup, Washington is filled with Texans with nothing better to do with their time. Everything IS bigger in Texas, including morons. But hey, it's ee-naw-gur-a-shun time, so "commence to jigglin'!" While we're on the topic of inaugurations and morons, PLEASE go to this site. http://incrediblehulk.blogspot.com/ Funniest thing I've found in awhile. I love his thoughts on the inauguration. Shows that even retarded, gamma-irradiated monsters knew which side to vote for!
Posted by William @ 1/21/2005 01:25:24 AM
"Mo to the E to the..."
Wow, Lamont Bentley's dead...Apparently, he simply drove off the San Diego Freeway? You Cali kids, does this happen? Are there no guardrails on that stretch of road? For the uninformed, he played "Hakeem" on the hit UPN show, Moesha (Yeah, I'm being facetious....you ever heard "hit and "UPN" in the same sentence before? But I digress...) Hakeem was the pesky best friend/neighbor of Brandy's Moesha. He was a modern-day, urban (Hollywood's way of saying "Black") Eddie Haskell. Hey, the show was a contrived piece of shit, but it put food on Lamont's table. In an even sadder bit of the story, he played Tupac in the VH-1 biography of MC Hammer. Did y'all know Hammer and 'Pac were friends? That was news to me! In fact, Hammer was apparently almost shot the night 'Pac got killed. OK, I'm rambling again... So, how will Hollywood be affected? It won't. It's sad to say, but true. This just kills any chance of a Moesha reunion, and in this day and age, I'm not even sure a death would prevent them from arranging that train-wreck-waiting-to-happen. Anyway, I hope his daughters'll be OK, and someone PLEASE find out how someone just drives off a freeway...
Posted by William @ 1/21/2005 01:15:14 AM Tuesday, January 18, 2005
Williambrucewest.com "We Don't Stop Playing..." Tour 2005
Yes, we're coming to a town near you, to bring you all the Will West goodness you've come to love online. Come meet Will & have a drink with him. The more he drinks, the funnier he becomes (at least, that's what that hooker told me...) Anyway, come along the fantastic voyage, 'cause we've got some great guests lined up. Some of these guests include Shelly, Tarek, Austin, James, Jenn, Lip, and a whole cavalcade of stars. If you've ever wanted to meet any of them, or if you just wanna tell 'em how you're such a big fan of their work, come on down! Tentative Schedule 1/25 Website Launch Anniversary Summit, TBA 1/29 Washington, DC Washington DC Comic-Con 2/24 Boston, MA Bones Annual Conference 2/25 Boston, MA Tarek Sultani Memorial Golf Tournament 2/26 Boston, MA Jed Farlow Guitar Workshop 2/27 Boston, MA Where's Evan?!! Austria?!!! 2/28 Boston, MA Harvard Square Encore Performance XV 4/1 Ithaca, NY Last Call Presents: Last Call SUX, Straight Up X 4/2 Ithaca, NY Last Call Presents: Hungover With The Hangovers 4/3 Ithaca, NY Last Call Presents: We Didn't Go To Harvard, My Black Ass! There will also be frequent, private shows in Silver Spring, MD. But you've gotta know somebody to get on that list... More Dates To Be Added Let me know if you wanna be on the Street Team!
Posted by William @ 1/18/2005 01:54:17 AM
"...I've got my father's gun, and a scorching case of herpes!"
Audience Participation So, we're gonna try something new here at williambrucewest.com You see, I feel like I just ramble sometimes, plus I tend to run out of material to blog about. So, here's where y'all come in. I'm going to start sending various shout-outs, hoping for a response. We're gonna have a little call-and-response audience participation! One method will be blatant name-dropping. You see your name, write something in the comments section. Even if it's that you're suing me for libel and defamation of character. After all, we need that kind of stuff in writing. The next thing, as you've noticed, is that I'm going to be starting more posts with quotes, seeing as how I so enjoyed the Christmas quotes (even though they were ALL from A Christmas Story!) Not necessarily themed, these will sometimes relate to the blog topic, and sometimes they'll just be things dancing around in my head. The most recent quotes aren't too hard. I know Lip and Leigh will get them (although, I'm not quite sure Leigh even reads this thing...). Anyway, if you identify where the quote came from, remark about it. We can skip down memory lane, hand-in-hand... The final method is, every once in awhile, I'm going to simply post "Ask Will". It'll be blank. Your job is to ask me something in the comments section. And, i promise to answer most of the questions in subsequent blog entries. I'd like to say no subject is taboo, but we'll handle this on a case-by-case basis. So, there ya have it. williambrucewest.com for 2005. Ask not what your Will can do for you; ask what you can do for your Will!
Posted by William @ 1/18/2005 01:34:44 AM Monday, January 17, 2005
"Commence to jigglin'!"
Today's Episode: "How to Geek Up Your Girlfriend" So, sometimes Shelly refers to herself as a dork. Hey, she calls me one, too. It's true. She'd have to be a dork to "get me" and vice versa. It works for us. It's Crazy Perfect. But I couldn't leave well enough alone. I felt that i wanted to bring her further into my world. So, what did I do? I decided to introduce her to comics. Yes, I know. It was risky. I wasn't sure how it'd pan out. I mean, what would I recommend? A lovely lady such as she wouldn't be down with the angst-ridden adventures of Peter Parker. Or the Guilt-driven antics of Batman. No, I'd have to start slow and smooth. In the community, there are certain books that are labeled "chick books". It's believed that any of them will get a woman interested in comics, but these theories have been seldom tested because many comics fans don't know how to approach women (Stop whining, nerds! Do a sit-up and buy some cologne! Wow, that was harsh...) Anyway, I decided to use these cliches and see if they actually worked in the real world. While recent news reports have shown that women are really into manga, I thought that was too extreme. We needed something a bit more mainstream. So, I went for the critical darling of 2004, "Blankets", by Craig Thompson. Without giving too much away, it's what i like to call "an emo comic". Essentially, it's an autobiographical, coming-of-age tale of first love and personal growth. Anyway, it was a success. Not only did she love it, but Millie and Leigh got into it as well. Well, as any dealer will tell ya, the first hit's free, but the next'll cost ya. You see, I hooked her by giving her a nice, finite read. But as any comics fan will tell ya, comics aren't finite. In fact, most have dangling plotlines, exhorbitant casts, and run FOREVER. So, now that she was hooked, it was time to bump her up to the harder doses. I still didn't want to get into superhero books, so I went for the quintessential chick book of them all: "Strangers in Paradise". Now, I've gotta admit, I love this book! I'd been fighting it for yrs, 'cause it had such a bad connotation. Then, I just realized that a lot of fanboys didn't understand it, hence their dislike of the book. For the uninformed, SiP is about Francine & Katchoo, two best friends/sometimes lovers and the drama that enters their lives. Francine is the beautiful, sweet girl, who lacks confidence in her search for love. Katchoo, on the other hand, is the rough around the edges lesbian who simply wants Francine. Enter David, the shy, doormat of a guy who's hopelessly in love with Katchoo. And there you have your love triangle. There have been SEVERAL series, making the book impossible to follow. Luckily, they've just started reprinting them, in order, in digest form, making it much easier to get into the story. So far, we've got the first three volumes, and hopefully there'll be more by the time we're finished with them. Anyway, I don't think I've created a monster or anything, but it makes me feel really good to know that i can share this part of my world with someone else. More importantly, someone who's not a dude. Either way, it's a great feeling. And did I mention, I LOVE THIS GIRL?!!! :-)
Posted by William @ 1/17/2005 10:26:46 PM
"I don't need no instructions to know how to ROCK!"
Random Thoughts of the Past Few Days -Dude, I really need to stop watching 7th Heaven! Mmm, Ruthie...STOP! I can't go all R. Kelly! -I've said it once, and I'll say it again: 24 is THE BEST CONCEPT on television. This show never disappoints, even when it sucks (see Season Three). Either way, it's the most original and riviting thing you'll find these days. And Mrs. Araz is scaring the SHIT out of me. I hate to think I'm suffering from post-9/11 generalizations, but that's one cold, scary bitch! And I knew Behrous wasn't gonna have the balls to kill Debbie. Had no idea Mrs. Araz would, though... -The best show you're NOT watching? "Strange Days At Blake-Holsey High". Yeah, you've never seen it unless you had a LATE friday night, which carried into Saturday morning, and you had nothing else to watch. Basically, it's about the strange things that happen at this elite boarding school. There's a pseudo-Ghostwriter team that investigates all the weird goings-on. The catch is that the show is part of Discover Kids, so they find ways to sneak in science lessons without being heavy-handed about it. By the end of the episode, you've gained more clues in the ongoing saga of the vortex at the school, but you also know that a DNA helix curves to the right, and that some checmical compounds are mirror images of each other... -Jamie Foxx won a Golden Globe?!!! Man, if you'd told me that 15 yrs ago, I'd had have slapped you across the mouth. Ya know, I'll bet Kenan Ivory Wayans is KICKING himself! He creates In Living Color to showcase his own siblings, while bringing a couple stragglers along for the ride. Now, fast forward 12 yrs. Jim Carrey's a $20 million-a-movie star, Jamie Foxx is winning awards, and the most popular Wayans weren't even On In Living Color (Well, Shawn was SW-1, but the DJ don't count!). Honestly, the weirdest part of the In Living Color mythos, to me, was that Alexandra Wentworth (AKA "The White Girl") ended up marrying George Stephanopolous. That must've been SOME wedding reception! Anyway, with the way things are going, next thing you know, David Allen Grier will be doing Shakespeare... -Anybody out there seen Elektra? Starring Jennifer Garner, AKA "The World's Most Beautiful Man". I swear, she's alluring, but she's not "pretty". I've blogged about this before, but I don't think it's more apparent than in the role of Elektra. I think I liked her most in "13 Going on 30", where she's all awkward and gangly, but still has a cuteness about her... -Did anyone out there actually LIKE "I Am Charlotte Simmons"? It seems like Tom Wolfe's latest novel is THE book to hate right now. I have it sitting on a shelf, but the thing is friggin huge. I don't know whether to read it or use it to crush cats to death (Yes, Shel..cats truly are evil!). -Jason Mraz is really worth checking out. Before, I just kinda liked "You and I Both", but all of his stuff is great. he's even edging out John Mayer on my list. Especially since there are only so many times I can stand to hear "Daughters" on a given day... -THE ALBUM to buy, though, is "Hopes and Fears" by Keane. I can't get over how great an album this is. Looped it like 6 times last night. I give every disc a "one-through", and usually it languishes in its little slot in my binder, never to be listened to again. But I haven been listening to this disc since November, and it doesn't get old. Mainly, if you like "thinkin' music" that's not as whiny as emo, and has a lot more piano, this is the group for you.
Posted by William @ 1/17/2005 09:58:22 PM
"No, Frylock...you see, The Highlander was a documentary, and its events happened in real times!"
So...where have a I been? Well, I've been working. Plus, not all is well on the Western front. I've been hella busy cleaning my house, and trying to find some direction in life. Not the most fun to have on a average weekend in your 20's. Anyway, today was the shitastic of days. Why was it bad? I don't really know. It just was. The usual stuff. Taking it out on the wrong people. Anyway, enough with the cryptic. Last night, I was reading the latest issue of Details, and I came across a great article written by Carrie Fisher. Yes, apparently, Princess Leia has a penchant for brothels in Amsterdam, and she wrote a travelogue during her last visit. At first, I was gonna dismiss it, but this stuff was too good to pass up. So, allow me to present the highlights of said article: "I was tempted to get George Lucas a Yoda bong for Christmas, but I figured the extra three hours and full-cavity search in customs wouldn't be worth it. Besides, he might get upset about the Yoda-bong people not paying a licensing fee." "Pride quickly turned to shame when Sunny somehow got the dildo onto Nasim's forhead and rode up and down on that while informing him he was a "dickhead". This woman was not only thr model of human kindness with a snatchy snatch, but funny, too!" "But the highlight of an evening filled with highs was when Sophie, who actually was a nice girl, wrote a message on a postcard with her vagina. Well, to be precise, with a pen thrust into her vagina. And she had good twatmanship. Was there no end to what vaginas could do?" Wow, Princess Leia! I've just gotta say that I'm impressed. Especially considering that half the Warsies out there don't even know what a vagina is! You've educated the masses!
Posted by William @ 1/17/2005 09:42:37 PM Thursday, January 06, 2005
So, I've been listening to the Avenue Q soundtrack for the past hour, and the following song hit kinda close to home. Show of hands for anyone who agrees...
Movie: Avenue Q Artist: Unknown Artists Song: I Wish I Could Go Back to College KATE MONSTER: I wish I could go back to college. Life was so simple back then. NICKY: What would I give to go back and live in a dorm with a meal plan again! PRINCETON: I wish I could go back to college. In college you know who you are. You sit in the quad, and think, "Oh my God! I am totally gonna go far!" ALL: How do I go back to college? I don't know who I am anymore! PRINCETON: I wanna go back to my room and find a message in dry-erase pen on the door! Ohhh... I wish I could just drop a class... NICKY: Or get into a play... KATE MONSTER: Or change my major... PRINCETON: Or fuck my T.A. ALL: I need an academic advisor to point the way! We could be... Sitting in the computer lab, 4 A.M. before the final paper is due, Cursing the world 'cause I didn't start sooner, And seeing the rest of the class there, too! PRINCETON: I wish I could go back to college! ALL: How do I go back to college?! AHHHH... PRINCETON: I wish I had taken more pictures. NICKY: But if I were to go back to college, Think what a loser I'd be- I'd walk through the quad, And think "Oh my God..." ALL: "These kids are so much younger than me."
Posted by William @ 1/06/2005 01:05:56 AM Wednesday, January 05, 2005
If I were a supervillain, my name would totally be "Schadenfreude". Yup, it's the word of the day. Look it up.
Aww...don't pout! I'm making you smarter!
Posted by William @ 1/05/2005 11:48:04 PM
Is there no stopping Mario?
First, he was saving the Mushroom Kingdom from the Evil King Koopa. Next, he was lamenting the fact that he was "Just A Friend". Now, he's beggin' this chick to let him love her! Those crazy Italian rappers, I tell ya! Wait? What do you mean they're not the same guy?!!! Then who've I been sending those meatballs to?!!! And what am I gonna do with this box of smiley stars & mushrooms? I really hope I kept the receipt for that Takooni suit... Anyway, since I don't have the luxuries to which you livejournal punks are entitled, I have to find places to inform you to what I'm listening. Right now, the album du jour is Mario's "Turning Point". Yeah, that single is "off da hook", as the young ruffians put it. But there's an even better hidden gem on that disc. Please, use your file-sharing programs, or borrow the CD from that black chick who works in the mailroom of your place of employment. I say this because you MUST hear "Nikes Fresh Out the Box"! Yes, folks. We all felt shoe-based songs had peaked with "Air Force Ones", but Mario has done us one better. He compares the new girl he's seeing to a pair of new Nikes, "fresh out the box." Since most of my shoes have been stroke-of-luck finds from Marshalls, I have no idea what this feels like. If the song were "British Knights Straight Off the Shelf", then we could talk. I love the part where he promises "not to scuff her". But I digress, this song is hilarious, plus it's got a good beat. The feel-good song of January. Yeah, that's a good description...
Posted by William @ 1/05/2005 09:43:49 PM
So, crisis averted. While the DVD player is with the technological angels in that NeoTokyo in the sky, I have replaced her. That's right, I went out and bought a home theatre system!
Man, do I know how to throw away a buck! Don't despair; my resolutions are still on track. After some comparison shopping, I found one at Circuit City for $79! Yup, Seven-nine. Is it a piece of shit? Probably. But, it'll probably last as long as my last one did. The last one was an Apex. Not the standard of quality most people would expect. But it lasted 3 yrs. This new one? Doesn't even have a brand name. Oh yeah...it's a Nexxtech. Gotta trust any company with two x's in the name; they're either specializing in the distribution of mid-grade pornography or giving us shitty electronics. Who knows, maybe Nexxtech does both. Plus, it's a seal of quality if "tech" is in the brand name. It's true. It's in the Bible... And they had the audacity to ask if I wanted the extended warranty! We, at the West Foundation, do not invest in warranties. We buy cheap, so when it breaks down, we buy another one. That's putting your dollars to work! They know this thing won't outlast the warranty, but I'll bored with it by then anyway. In three yrs, there'll be cooler models, that play holograms of your movies in your living rooms. Unfornuately, by that point, Nexxtech will be manufacturing killer robots. I only hope the robots still let us watch holograms in the living room....
Posted by William @ 1/05/2005 09:02:30 PM
Seal is engaged to Heidi Klum? SEAL IS ENGAGED TO HEIDI KLUM?!!! Where the Hell did this come from? I mean, ET said it, so it must be true. But...where's the justice?
I'm torn. Is it that I don't believe Supermodel Heidi Klum deserves the bastion of soul known as Seal? Or is it I don't think Lupus-scarred Seal deserves Supermodel Heidi Klum? When and HOW did these two get together? I mean, he also used to bang Tyra Banks, so he's used to getting kisses from roses. But this is Crazy! I mean, someone say a prayer for the dying, 'cause the world must be coming to an end...
Posted by William @ 1/05/2005 08:54:50 PM
My fuckin' DVD player broke...
What am I to do now? Why couldn't I lose something I don't use, like a kidney? :(
Posted by William @ 1/05/2005 02:40:38 AM Sunday, January 02, 2005
"I want that - the feeling a man gets when he gets exactly what he desires."
-Harold, Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle Resolutions 2K5 So, we all make 'em, but this is the first year I'm going to take this whole "New Year's Resolution" thing seriously. I figured, since I share everything else on this site, I might as well post my list here. Let me know if any of y'all are striving for any of the same things I am. Financial 1) Pare Down Comics "Pull List" I have subscriptions to WAY too many comic titles. With each book clocking in at about $3, I spend an avg of $40 a week on comics. Since I don't go every week, I end up shelling out about $70 each visit, always causing me to experience brief nausea. There is a such thing as "too much of a good thing." and I think it's time to cut the list down a bit. I don't even have time to read all of that stuff. When the next month's issue comes out, i've already forgotten what happened in the previous issue. This will save me a LOT of money in the long run. 2) Maintain Credit Card Balance Below $2500 Yeah, I went a little crazy before I was employed. Lived off credit for about 3 months. This is TOTALLY doable. I just need to watch the spending, and any surplus income goes right to Bank One. Financial advisors say that, to stay afloat, you should keep your card balance below 50% of the limit on the card. You do the math. Anyway, this is a completely attainable goal. 3) Start Repaying Federal Loans Since I've been employed, i've begun repaying Cornell its money, but I've totally bailed on the Federal portion. They don't think I'm gainfully employed at the moment, and we're gonna let them keep on thinking that for the time being. Anyway, by the end of the year, I hope to actually start making those payments, and stop deferring them. 4) Put All Bills In My Name I want to be financially independent, and in doing so, i want to transfer my expenses into my name. For now, the CC and the phone are in Mommy's name, even though I've been paying the bills for over a yr now. So, in my quest for maturity, I'm going to make myself accountable for my own financial success and/or failure. I haven't received any sort of monetary help, so I might as well have my name on the stuff. 5) Enter The Stock Market I've been wanting to do this for the past 8 yrs. Davis and the others had stock in the 8th grade! Now, I DID go to a prep school, but I knew then that this was something I needed to understand a bit more. With tarek's help, hopefully I can break into the market in the next few months. I've been doing my homework, and I've got a few lucrative investment ideas... 6) BUDGET!!! I had done this at the middle of '04 and I'd done such a good job staying on track. I didn't touch my credit card for 3 months, and I made sensible purchases. Then, all of a sudden. I'm The Donald, spending money like I was growing it in my backyard. So, while I'm not in the red or anything, I just feel that the excess money could be put to such better use. So, I really need to budget and see where all of my money's going. It's the smart thing to do. Professional 7) Serious Job Search OK, it's been a wild year, but it's time to get serious. I have no real future with H&M. I could give 'em another yr or so, but what would that do for either party? It's time I look for something more "substantial". Especially since I get the feeling the new sheriffs in town arent gonna be cool with my "West Coast" brand of tomfoolery. Better quit before I get fired. Everyday, I feel like I'm fighting for my job, or narrowly avoiding being set-up. Yes, I'm paranoid, but I feel like something's going down. I'm better than this. I'm worth more than this. And I think it's time for a change... Social 8) Reconnect With Lost Friends I seriously need to be better with the communication. I need to find Ari, Austin, Christopher, Brenda, Ms. Robbins, and VA. Especially, I need to track down Sergei. He was my host in Russia, and I have never really been the best pen-pal to him. For the past 9 yrs, he has NEVER forgotten my birthday, and ALWAYS calls me. I fondly remember Russia, but I can't explain why I've dropped the ball in that dept. Anyway, all of these people, as well as others, mean a lot to me, and I need to track them down and keep in touch. 9) Be a Better Friend To Those People With Whom I AM In Contact I need to be more appreciative. I need to be quicker with "thank you" notes. I need to see Brett more. I need to return James & Jenn's & Jo Anne's calls more quickly. Get to know Millie better. I need to hang out with the Tysons crew more. Hell, I need to start answering my phone. I need to call Brian and El. I need to hang out with Brock. Gotta stop bailing on Davis in G-town. I want be a great boyfriend to Shelly - this is going to be "Our Year". And the list goes on AND on AND on. Mainly, I want the important people in my life to know they're important... Self-Empowerment 10) Get Driver's License!!! Hell, even James beat me in this dept. The time has come. I've finished Drivers Ed. I just need to take the actual test. Anyway, I believe this will all be taken care of soon. Stay tuned for a post on the matter 11) Lose 10 lbs, and Maintain that Weight I can easily do this. My metabolism's fickle. I just have to go back to my one-meal-a-day-, no snacking, drink more water diet. It's also known as "eating healthy". Sure, you should have more than one meal a day. but the catch is i just have one BIG meal. Breakfast is supposed to be the biggest anyway. After that, I eat fruit and whatnot. If I get back to running, and I start working out with Shelly, I can easily shed the pounds. And I'll be so much hotter than I am now! :-P 12) Learn Russian Yes, I've been trying for about 9 yrs, but now I own every Russian Language Instruction CD knwon to man. Time to get serious, and actually use that stuff. Plus, how cool will it be to be the weird guy at parties who can speak Russian?!!! Take THAT, all you people who wasted your lives on Spanish and French. Plus, I may be able to use this to get a Foreign Service job or something...I'm great with linguistics, so it shouldn't be a problem. I just need to dedicate myself to the process. 13) Get Smarter! Yes, this is vague, but I need to "re-smarten" myself. (Maybe it'd help if I stopped making up words!) H&M's been great, but Ghetto Sundays, combined with degenerates asking if we have layaway, I feel like I'm a few hrs short of my GED. Not to be a snob, but I was pretty smart in my day. And I shouldn't be up on my high horse 'cause I'm in the trenches with many of the same people I'm bashing. I just need a breath of fresh knowledge. I feel my thought processes slowing down, and my mind is now consumed with whether or not that chick has taken more than the alotted 10 garments with her into the fitting room. Maybe I'll get back to reading the dictionary like I used to. 14) Be More Philanthropic Yeah, this probably should've gone under "Financial", but I felt this was as good a place as any. I need to give to more causes. I spend so much money on shit. Useless, meaningless shit. it's not making me any happier, so I might as well do some good with the money. I could go back to paying my tithes....well, on second thought. Anyway, I could still give to causes, such as Save the Children or Project Harmony. Even the Black Student Fund. I go way back with all of them. So, more giving in '05! Look for a post on this soon... 15) Decide on Continued Education I've been tossing around the grad school/law school thing for awhile. By the end of the year, I'll have a decision. This, I command! I know I need to go back to school for something, but I'm really going to take this yr to narrow down some choices, and to take the steps towards carving out some kind of future for myself. I think I'm taking the LSAT around March, and we'll see where that takes us. 16) Organize My Life To A T! I need more order in my life. Sure, everyone loves a sense of "organized chaos", but what happens when the choas is no longer organized? That's where I am now. I want everything listed, catalogued, written down. Especially with the Admin job, I need better organization skills. Time to dust off the Palm, visit The Container Store, and buy a new copy of Microsoft Office... 17) Be More Outgoing I live a lot of my life in a state of...anxiety. I don't like change and I rarely try new things, such as exotic foods. I really need to work on this, because i realize that I'm missing out on a lot of life. Also, I need to be more outgoing and extroverted because there are a lot interesting people out there. Apparently, there's always room for friends, so, here's to being more of a "people person", and not having to fake it anymore... 18) Apartment Hunting I love my Mommy to death, as you all know, but I can't do this much longer. I just need my own place to call home. Something to make me feel like a "responsible adult." I'll still probably come around just as much, but at least I'd have a lair of my own, should the need for it arise. Hopefully, with budgeting, and a brand-spanking new job, I can make this dream a reality. But this is probably going to be coser to the end of the year, hence its placement at the end of the list. So, there it is. Look at it as a "Blueprint for Season 2". Anyway, I'll periodically update on my progress, but I'll probably be too preoccupied thinking of more things to rant about "Alvin & the Chipmunks"...
Posted by William @ 1/02/2005 11:00:00 PM | 
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