"Ray, when someone asks if you're a god, you say 'Yes'!"

So, I haven't written much about this, but for the past 6 months or so, I've been working in commercial real estate. A lot of the time, I'm tracking down buyers and sellers of property. Well, the other day I had to call a company called MAXRAD,Inc.

I kid you not.

MAXRAD.

SO many possibilities...

-you could make a TV show from the name alone: "Maxrad, on Sci Fi Fridays"

-it could work as slang: "Whoa, dude! Those waves are maxrad!"

-it could be the name of a ship: "Quick, everybody back to the Maxrad!"

-it could be an action hero: "Max Rad, here to kick your ass!"

-it could be a really hot car, like K.I.T.T.: "Maxrad, activate Turbo Boost!"

Man, MAXRAD. That's awesome. Well, not as awesome as the time I had to call Peter Manhard...

Posted by William @ 10/31/2005 11:51:00 PM
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"Snakes on motherfucking plane?!"
So, you ever wonder what goes on in the casting process of a movie? Like, what exactly occurs in the relationship between an actor and an agent? Well, the West News Team has left no stone unturned to bring you the true story behind Hollwood's "casting couch". No, we're not focusing on starlets. We go behind the scenes of the casting of some of America's hottest Black actors. Let's see what's inside!


Morgan Freeman

Agent: So, we've got this movie we think you'd be good in.

MF: Is there a script?

A: Yeah, there's a script, but don't worry about that.

MF: Is Ashley Judd in it? You know how I like Ashley.

A: No, Morgan. No Ashley.

MF: *downtrodden* No Ashley?

A: Sorry, not this time.

MF: Well, who IS in the movie? This ain't that Timberlake thing y'all were telling me about, is it?

A: No, this is something...different...

MF: Well, who's in it?

A:...penguins...

MF:Penguins?!! *pause* Well, is there a paycheck?

A: Isn't there always?

MF: Then, sign me up!

Samuel L. Jackson

Agent: So, Sam..we've got this movie we want-

SLJ: IS THERE A BLACK DUDE IN IT?!

A: You bet your Black ass there is! Why do you think -

SLJ: DO I GET TO TALK REAL LOUD?!!

A: Of course! The studio wouldn't have it any other way.

SLJ: DO I GET TO BE A BADASS?!!

A; SLJ, you'll be the Baddest Ass in movie history.

SLJ: WELL, SIGN ME UP!

A: Really? Just like -

SLJ: MAN, QUIT TALKING. YOU HAD ME AT "BLACK DUDE".

Sean Patrick Thomas

A: Hey Sean. Sorry about "The District" getting cancelled. Anyway, we've got this script-

SPT: Do I get to sleep with a White girl?

A: Umm...not this time around, Sean...

SPT: Do I get to kiss a White girl?

A: Umm...no, Sean. We've been here before. This movie takes place in a Black barbershop. How many White girls have you seen in Black barbershops?

SPT:Maybe...she's visiting her Black boyfriend.

A: Look, Sean...maybe this was a bad idea.

SPT: Fine, but can't we have a scene where I, at least, dance with a White girl? I mean, I DO have a reputation to uphold...

Posted by William @ 10/25/2005 09:28:00 PM
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"Nobody said it was easy..."

I want to take a step back and get a little personal. I don't like doing the whole "personal blog", but ever now and then I feel the need to keep it real with my homies.

So, I want to take this time to not only apologize to Shelly, but also tell the world how wonderfully she's changed my life over the past year.

You see, I'm apologizing because I have put her through a LOT over the past few months, specifically. I've been a poor man's Danny Bonaduce for years (or, is that redundant?). No real substance abuse (except for 1st semester senior year), but I have been an emotional wreck for MANY years. This is even pre-Cornell. I just mask it with humor. People laugh and say, "Wow, Will is crazy!" and they never bother to dig deeper than that.

But I've needed therapy for a long time. So, after the Cousin Joe debacle of several posts ago, I started getting help. A result of this was that I was prescribed Lexapro. And while I thought it was helping, I went through a phase where I went BATSHIT CRAZY. I mean, crazier than a shit house rat!

First, there was the Wrath of God week. Let's make that weeks. I spent about 2 weeks worrying about my soul and what happens when you die. A lot of this was brought on by the Cousin Joe deal, but I was also just scared. Why? I don't know, but I was scared, and nothing could stop it. All day at work. All night at home. Sleep was the only thing to quell it. I even talked to my mom, who surprisingly, had all the right answers. She didn't deliberately tell me what I wanted to hear but she told me what I NEEDED to hear, which, awesomely, happened to be what I wanted to hear. But even after that, I was crazy. Switched up the meds, kinda calmed down. But that was after I studied Judaism, Kaballah, and others, looking for answers. Yup, I was almost wearing a red thread!

That all led me to insecurity week. There, I spent the whole time worrying about my lack of future, and how this would prevent me from fitting into Shelly's family. My problem is that I can't work through this stuff on my own. I have to say them out loud, even if just to hear how stupid these fears may sound. But there's a such thing as too much truth. I was scared that I wasn't really going places, and while I have a good past, I've not been to optimistic about the future. I have an Al Bundy complex: "4 touchdowns in a single game." I still long for the glory days of a cappella. So, yes, I have a job, and a car, and an apartment I don't even live in, I still feel like a failure. So, in that instant, I forget about prep school, Russia, Cornell, and every other milestone. Instead, I find myself to be Tyrone, who's one drug-deal away from welfare. Sad, ain't it? The only projects in my life were science projects, yet all my confidence and security went out the window.

I have a fear of failure and a fear of success, and lately, these problems have just been exacerbated. And i was in a "Why do you love me?" kind of place. I mean, I was hella curious, but there's nothing worse than a man without confidence. I was a step away from "Please, don't cheat on me." No, I'm sure I said that, too.

Either way, I have been a clusterfuck of neuroses and emotion, and I got to a point where I was even ashamed of myself. So, in a sense, I think I was pushing her away. I have a problem of doing that. I compartmentalize, and when one part of my life goes bad, I try to close off and only focus on it. I knew it had gone too far when she asked "Have you always been like this?" It was that moment of clarity when I realized "I no longer resemble the person she thought she knew." Yeah, I've been depressed off and on, but I had hit a new low, and I was ashamed of myself, and ashamed that I had brought her along for the ride.

But through it all, she has stood by me. She really does cheer me up, and she is THE most wonderful person I have ever had in my life (Yup, sorry Tarek).Why does she do it? 'Cause she loves me. And for that, God bless her, 'cause I KNOW it ain't easy! But I love her more than I thought I could love another person, and she really helps me more than she realizes. She makes me want to be a better person. No, she makes me feel like a great person, but one who's always trying to improve. I may seem bad, but I know I'd be a lot worse off without her. That doesn't make it right,but it's an observation. When I get scared of the future, she reassures me that everything will be OK, and I know that she means it. She doesn't say it because "it's the thing to say". She says it because she honestly believes it, and is committed to it. Even though I am scared, and am uncertain, I KNOW that a certain aspect of my future is already taken care of. And the weight is off, because I don't have to move mountains or cure hunger, I just have to do the best I can, and that will be enough. I just have to try. And she gives me what I need to try. I'm sorry there are times when I don't realize that. But I just wanted to say it, to let her, and the 3 other people reading this site, know how I felt. I'm sorry for the headaches, babe, but I thank you and love you more than I can express!

Posted by William @ 10/25/2005 08:26:00 PM
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"Earl, I think you're trying to sell a cat to a man who fancies dogs."

So, today it was announced that Sci Fi is picking up "Stargate:SG-1" for a 10th season, making it the longest running US sci-fi show in history. Kinda amazing for a show based on a movie that BOMBED. Then again, I guess the same could be said for "Buffy: The Vampire Slayer". Anyways, this development made me think of that movie, which I loved, and specifically, Jaye Davidson.

Jaye Davidson played "Ra" in Stargate, and as far as movie villains go, was the pussy to end all pussies. I mean, I don't think he even had a line. He just kinda slinked around, being all androgynous. I think their reasoning was that Ra wouldn't speak English, and the whole "Goau'ld" aspect wasn't introduced until the TV show. As a result, we're left with a big old menacing drag queen for a villain. But he was a scary drag queen, I'll give him that. Not in a RuPaul kind of way, but more like, "this drag queen might cut me if I look at her the wrong way". And nobody wants to be cut by a drag queen. Imagine having to report that, and having the cops laugh at ya the whole time...

But you see, Jaye didn't HAVE to act. He'd already proven himself in the indie classic, "The Crying Game". You see, he was the source of the movie's BIG REVEAL. In case you haven't seen it, the chick is a man! And that man-chick was Jaye Davidson. Mofo earned an Oscar nomination for that thing. So, when Stargate came along, he netted a cool million, essentially playing the same character, without all the awkward sex and Boy George soundtrack.

But after Stargate, it was over. He returned to his prior career as in the fashion industry. He only made 3 movies. 3 movies! I'm not saying the guy was Carey Grant, but even Fran Drescher made more than 3 movies (anybody realize she was in "Saturday Night Fever", and might I mention, HOT?) Apparently, after Stargate, the acting bug's sting just wore off for Jaye. I guess I can respect that. Instead of lining up for another failure, like "Evolution" or "Battlefield: Earth", he returned to his home on the runway.

Well, I was on IMDB today, and there were a few Jaye quotes that I honestly found inspirational. I dunno, maybe it's the drugs, or my current state of mind, but he reached out and touched me with the following:

"Some people are so precious -- all this hoo-ha about bad role models and positive images! Of course gay people are murderers, bigamists, drug addicts and nasty people -- just as much as heterosexual people are all of these things. What it all boils down to is, we are all people, and we all have the same human desires. It just happens that some desires go this way and some desires go that way. It's sad when people are oppressed. But it's a question of rising above it. Personally, mentally and, if you have to, physically. "

"The most important thing in my life is to live my life and enjoy it--to do what I think is right and what I think is good."

So, that's Jaye Davidson. While he may be considered a B-movie actor, today he served as a wise prophet. He might not have survived Stargate, but he's found a way to survive in this world...

Posted by William @ 10/25/2005 07:41:00 PM
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"But they need to be inspired. And let's face it, "Superman"...The last time you really inspired anyone--was when you were dead."

Time for a Random Thought post.

1) How you gonna name a panda "Tai Shan"?!! Tomorrow, they're gonna announce that its last name is "Jenkins". I mean, I know that the thing is, phenotypically, half-black, but...

2) I've finally had my "old perv" moment. For some people, this came with the arrival of Britney. For others, it was Lindsay or Hillary. Some of us are still pondering the Amanda Bynes quandry, but mine is even worse. I can't watch "7th Heaven" anymore. Ruthie Camden...I mean, I've watched her grow up, but just overnight...wow. And, on that note, am I the only one who realizes Ruthie's Jewish? I mean, are they ever gonna tackle that issue? Does Rev. Camden have a few skeletons in his closet? She looks NOTHING like the rest of the family, and they've been dragging her to church all these years when she really wanted to be in synagogue...

3) "Veronica Mars" has some of the BEST dialogue on television, and I could live the rest of my life only watching "One Tree Hill". But it is gonna MAJORLY suck for Chad Michael Murray and Sophia Bush when they have to keep filming those relationship scenes.

4) "Lost" is taking the world by storm. It's like a cult, and I have never known a show to encourage so much audience participation and attention. I feel like I've been "Left Behind" or something. I missed that bandwagon just like I missed the first wave of "Harry Potter". It's too late for me now. Y'all send me some letters. But I really feel the creators of that show have painted themselves into a corner. The show has built up so much hype, the creators will be incapable of providing a suitable, acceptable conclusion to the tale. They have 2 options: A) they start following the theories of the fans, and farm some ideas there, or B) they try to pull something out of their asses, hoping to appease most of the fanbase. But I see an "X-Files" here. The longer you drag out the mystery, the less people care. Remember how strong "X-Files" started? Remember how it limped across the finish line? Prepare for Round 2 of that.

5) The Special Edition DVDs of the Batman franchise came out today. I, along with mostof the world, HATE the Schumacher movies, but I've gotta tell ya that I'm a sucker for a commentary track. As much as I hate to admit it, I think I'm gonna have to drop the $50 on the box set. C'mon, it's worth it for the 2 Burton commetaries alone!

6) Lots of MD drama right now. Mark Makki, this kid I went to middle school with, is the main suspect in the murder of his own mother. Apparently, they kept fighting over his choice of girlfriend, who I also went to school with. Now, there are several questions in my mind: How did Makki EVER get a girl like Aramis? Oh yeah, drugs. How has Makki been with Aramis for 5 years? Oh yeah, drugs. Why would Makki kill his mom over Aramis? Oh yeah, drugs. Sure, she was hot when we were 14, but now she is BUSTED. Crack is a terrible thing, kids. But it's been hilarious reading the Montgomery County Blog, as people keep posting their opinions on the matter. My fave, "Aramis is a junkie and her father's a junkie, too." Turns out her dad even punched out the photographer that took their picture outside of the courthouse. But head over to Washingtonpost.com and seach for "mark makki". There's a picture of BUSTED Aramis and dad exiting the courthouse. Did he do it? Who knows, but it's becoming an Iranian community vs. MoCo PD matter. Farrakhan or Sharpton should be entering the picture any day now.

7) It's taken me 8 yrs to realize this, but Lippart was right; every episode of "Stargate:SG-1" IS the same.

Anydangways, that's all for now. Maybe I'll be more creative tomorrow...

Posted by William @ 10/19/2005 12:10:00 AM
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I owe y'all an apology. I had my big "comeback", and I still don't seem to know how to get back into the blog game. Well, I haven't forgotten ya, and I hope you haven't forgotten me.

I'm signing off for the rest of the week 'cause I've got a princess to take care of. In case you all haven't been keeping track, this weekend is my one year anniversary with Tha 'Diz. A whole year, and she hasn't killed me or tried to sell me to gypsies (can we still call them "gypsies"?)! If that doesn't tell me that she's "The One", nothing will. Anyway, the keyword for this weekend is "BEACH!!!". Try to figure out where we're going.

Anyway, I'm sorry I haven't been too dedicated to this site. I'm still trying to get my shizzle together. Still haven't moved into my apartment. Yeah, I'm really making progress. But things HAVE been happening. I've gotta tell ya about my trip to geekdom, AKA The Baltimore Comic-Con. I also have to let you in on my new sweet writing gig. But that's all for another time. Til next week, take care of yourselves...and each other.

I LOVE YOU, SHELLY!!! =)

Posted by William @ 10/12/2005 01:37:00 AM
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"It's so hard, to say goodbye..."

So, without much fanfare, I announce my retirement from the recording game. Sure, this doesn't mean retirement from music, per se, but it does signal the end of the recording. I wouldn't close the door on the possibility of a comeback, but for now I believe I will focus on other projects. I will continue to tour the country, possibly at a karaoke bar near you, but the recordings will cease for the forseeable future.

With that, I leave you with my final track. It's actually more of a "Hong Tat Tong, featuring Will West" track, but it's me, and it's recorded. It's a different sound than you're used to from me. I tackle that R&B genre, with mixed results. I'm happy to have a new track, but when you hear this, you won't miss me much. Trust me. So, fill your ipods with the old stuff, and remember to tell your grandkids about the days when you could easily download the latest Will West track off the i-net. Yup, this is that monumental. Anyway, snatch it while you can, 'cause I don't know how long this site will be up:

http://box.net/public/t2/files/751820.html

Posted by William @ 10/07/2005 02:43:00 AM
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"I'm not above putting out for cash!"

So, to show you just how bored I tend to get at work, the following is a little project I gave myself the other day. With the help of my good web friend, Wikipedia , I set out to take a trip down Cornell memory lane. While doing this, I began to think of the fun times, the party times. And sometimes these involved crashing some kind of Greek mixer. In fact, I remember a Sig Ep/Kappa Delta mixer where the guys spent most of the evening sneering and me and Lip from the staircase as we took over the party. You know it was a lame party if Lip and I were the main event, but that was what happened some cold nights in Ithaca.

Anyway, while looking back, I began to remember the distinct personalities of the houses. There are different frats (yeah, yeah, "You wouldn't call your country...") and sororities because they're all into different things. Yes, kids, it's the high school cafeteria all over again. So, instead of trying to describe these different social mindsets, I decided to use examples instead. Yup, I went through all of the sororities on Cornell's campus, and then found an actual celebrity alumnae from those specific houses, some Cornell alums, some alums of other schools, that best illustrate the general "theme" of the house. By "theme", I'm basing it upon looks and personality. You may find some of these to be harsh. You may find some to be spot on. But all I can promise is that this is one guy's Cornell-centric opinion, and these are all true alums of the houses. And if you don't know a particular name, don't be afraid to Google that mofo. So, away we go!

UPDATE: I simply love commentary too much to list names without explanation. Let's see how much I can offend some people...

Delta Gamma - Ann Coulter
Bunch of blond, rich, White Republican girls. In my best James Lamb voice, "They wanted nothing to do with me."

Chi Omega - Joyce DeWitt
Sure, in the South, "Chi Ho" is the shizzle, but not where I'm from. On the hill, this house is nothing but a breeding ground of "Janets" for the rest of the world's "Chrissies".

Pi Beta Phi - Jennifer Garner
Hottie hot-hot sporty spicers. You want a hot chick who could also take you down in a fight? This is your house. Buyer beware, some of them are "beautifully musculine". Just sayin'...Anyway, I like to refer to this as The House of Tarek.

Kappa Delta - Ellen Dow
Sure, they all mean well, but...

Delta Delta Delta - Katie Couric
Cute, but deadly. Unassuming, but that's just what they want you to think. Sleep with one eye open.

Kappa Alpha Theta - Jenna Von Oy
Ahh...Theta. Now, this was a house of those "rough around the edges" chicks where you have to ask, "Are you SURE you wanna be in a sorority?"

Alpha Phi- Kimberly Williams
She's got the look. Nanananana, nanananananana, nanananana!!!! In all seriousness, this was the best house of groupies EVER. I mean, these girls ate, slept, and breathed a cappella. Sure, it was a Hangover house, but that seemed to change over time...

Kappa Kappa Gamma - Sophia Bush
Every girl in Kappa looks like this girl. And they all work for Morgan Stanley. They will stab you in the back if there's an internship in it for them. Sounds like some kind of "One Tree Hill" plotline. In fact, I can't look at any of them anymore without Gavin DeGraw popping into my head...

Alpha Chi Omega - Dawn Wells
The girl who used to be cute and sweet during orientation who's now cute and a bitch. Wow, it's amazing how Rush can change a person. Plus, y'all know that Ginger was the movie star, but Mary Ann HAD to have a chip on her shoulder!

Sigma Delta Tau - Joan Rivers
A bunch of loud Jewish girls. Yeah, I said it. And I loved how all their sweaters and crap said "EAT".

Alpha Omicron Pi - Courtney Kupets
A bunch of girls with NOTHING in common who really just wanted to tell their friends back home that they were in a sorority. Honestly, you couldn't find a larger, more motley group. These girls had NO business being together, as they were all gymnasts or ecologists looking for something to do over breaks...

Wow, this post came off realy bitter, like they all rejected me or something. Nothing could be further from the truth. In all honesty, the Greek thing wasn't really my scene. We did the parties when we had jack nothing else to do. But these were my observations from our "away team" missions. Anyway, it's not like anybody from these houses is even gonna see this post...

Posted by William @ 10/07/2005 01:39:00 AM
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