"I don't go with the "ga" version. I go with the "ger" version."

I feel like I just had another "encounter moment". You see, I really love Boondocks. It's hilariously offensive, yet smart, in that Chappelle kind of way. At the same time, I think tonight's episode just broke the record for the number of times "nigger" was used during a half hour of television that wasn't part of the Roots saga.

Now, this has always been a controversial issue. The whole debate of "how can we say the word is bad when we use it in our music?" Or when you catch a white kid using it, and he responds, "But it's in the song." Sorry, folks, but Chad's right. If you don't want people using it, don't use it so freely. Don't go with the whole "we're reclaiming it" argument. Don't try to act like you can bandy it about and still be able to regulate its use. Sure, I'm guilty of it myself, as I went through quite a phase earlier this year. Then again, nobody reads this thing, while Boondocks is one of the highest rated shows on Cartoon Network.

I feel like I wouldn't even care if the show were aired on BET. I just feel I'd be more comfortable with that. It could come on right before ComicView. Knowing it's on Adult Swim, in lieu of an Aqua Teen or Sealab rerun rubs me the wrong way. Do you know the typical Adult Swim demographic? Primarily white males, age 16-32. Do you know how this must look to them? Sure, they'll take it as a joke, but it will also serve as an example to them. It makes it seem like it's OK to use it if A) it's part of a song, B) black people use it first, in front you, and/or C) it's part of a joke. I do not want these kids going to school tomorrow and laughing in detention about how Uncle Ruckus performed an exorcism on a nigger. I fear for that kid 'cause some black kid is gonna hear it, and that nigga's gonna shoot somebody. What was that? Oh no, it's cool. I used the "ga" and not the "ger". See how fucked up that defense is? As if to say pronunciation is going to change anything. That's as lame as saying that Hitler actually disliked juice...

Posted by William @ 10/29/2007 11:59:00 PM
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"If you can't sell pussy, you can't sell anything."

I swear, I've got stories, but they take so friggin' long to write up, plus I have to process them and break them down to the bare essentials. After all, that San Diego recap is so overdue it's embarrassing. Anyway, it's still coming, but here's another random-things-on-my-mind post.

- I swear, Brody Jenner is determined to be a reality star if it kills him. I don't think people realize how many times he's been around the reality-block. First off, he milked his stepfather's, music producer David Foster, fame when he starred in the short-lived Fox reality show, The Princes of Malibu. Pretty much, the show was about how Brody and his brother were a bunch of layabouts, and Foster wanted them to get jobs. It was basically the male equivalent of The Simple Life. That got canceled after no more than 3 episodes. Then, he popped up as LC's love interest du jour on The Hills. While he's still got that gig going, he's also in his stepsisters' show, Keeping Up With the Kardashians. After all, his biological dad married their golddigger mom. I swear, I wouldn't be surprised if his next stop is Big Brother.

-Speaking of MTV stuff, I love how they manage to answer questions that I never knew I had, such as : "What's it like being the hottest girl at fat camp?" And while answering said question, I'm glad they produced one of the most twisted lines I've ever heard: "I will love you more than any boy ever could." If you can't understand what's sad about that statement, then you're just the demographic their aiming for.

-As much as I love a trashy dating show, I couldn't give a shit about Tila Tequila. I give her credit for actively lobbying to be "friended" by everyone in the world, but she looks like the result of some crazy Roswell experiment. It's like some scientists said, "We're gonna use alien DNA to create a chick with a rockin' body", yet they weren't able to fully extract all of the alien facial characteristics. Seriously, she's like an anime character with fetal alcohol syndrome.

-I was reading the special college supplement of the New York Times, and I learned about a little place called Occidental College in LA. Do you know that they have some sort of unspoken tradition of going barefoot? Not just around dorms and whatnot, but *everywhere*! Cafeterias, gyms, classrooms, bathrooms! Isn't that some sort of OSHA violation? I wonder if they'll see a crackdown following that article. Haha, Occidental! You've just been Xposed!

-Can I just say that I hate how pretentious The New York Times is? I hate how they refer to "Mr. So-and-So". For example, if they wrote an article about me, they'd phrase it as, "Mr. West was found, shivering in a mysterious puddle and clutching a firearm. The firearm was designed by SoHo Jeweler Sol Rubestein." The whole "Mr" article comes off as condescending, while they always qualify the worst situation with some sort of high society tag, as if to say, "See, there's some merit to our publishing this, as it pertains, in some way, to the highest of social circles."

-Man, Britney and Backstreet Boys have albums dropping on the same day. It's like 1999 all over again!

-Anybody seen Gotti's Way? The saddest part about that show is that it seems like Irv is the last one to know the game is over. If you pay close enough attention to everyone else on the show, it likes they've pretty much given up on him, or they humor him to make him think he's still got some magic left in him. From his wife to his kids to Ja Rule, it's like they nod and smile 'cause they know he'll lose his shit if he ever just sits and realizes the truth. Yet and still, he's running around, spouting off about his dreams and how he's gonna take over the music industry.Sorry, Irv, but the market's changed. I really doubt people are clamoring for that next Ja Rule album, unless it's got an Akon cameo on it. If he can develop some sort of substance abuse problem, we may have the next Breaking Bonaduce on our hands. VH-1: It's like middle class NASCAR.

-I'm really digging Sunday Best on BET right now. If you've never heard of it, it's basically the gospel equivalent of American Idol. The catch, however, is that it's not all about your vocals. Sure, you need to be able to sing, but you also have to be able to take "The Message" back out into the community, and live your life in a manner that proves that you're "Sunday's Best". Wow, that is some muthafuckin' pressure! With American Idol, you better believe that TMZ and US weekly are gonna drag your shit out into the open. That said, the AI producers really just hope you can keep your shit together long enough to keep the Coke/Ford Focus endorsement deal, and to finish off the national tour. Once that's over, and you're left doing auto shows and county fairs, they really don't care how many times you slept with Paula or stripped to feed your baby. Sunday Best expects you to carry on the tradition long after the competition is over. I'm sorry, Bebe Winans. That's just too much to ask. Hell, Kirk Franklin's the host, and he's addicted to porn! Don't ya think you're being a little hypocritical there, Brother Kirk? Anyway, I hope a chick wins, 'cause I can't wait for her fall from grace following the inevitable King/XXL Magazine photo spreads.

-Yeah, I get that he's helping to boost OneRepublic to stardom, but I really don't get why Timbaland is credited as the artist on "Apologize". That's a OneRepublic song that he remixed and put on his album, but it is not his song. In a lot of ways, the regular version is actually better than his. All of this "Timbaland, feat. One Republic" shit is starting to bother me. It's like a song can't come out this year without having Timbaland's fingerprints all over it. OneRepublic doesn't seem to be saying anything about it, but that's 'cause they know what's good for them...

OK, I think that does it for now. Sometimes, you just gotta vent!

Posted by William @ 10/28/2007 08:55:00 PM
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"In five years, we'll all either be working for him, or be dead by his hand."

So, the other morning, I caught Saved By The Bell, but it was from the era that many seem to have missed out on: The College Years. Everyone seems to know about the Miss Bliss stuff, even if they don't realize that it never really "happened". The same could be said for the Tori era, as every 20-something has gotten drunk with friends, and the topic eventually comes up, met with a "What the fuck was up with that? Where were Jessie & Kelly?" Sadly, though, most of my generation jumped ship at The College Years/New Class era. It seems they had just had enough. I'm not sure if the College Years attrition was due to the move to prime-time, or sheerly the fact the Bill Cosby was right, and that college truly is a different world from where you come from.

I'll admit, the college season certainly blew the wind out of our sails. I think the producers had a lot to answer for, as they made high school seem like a veritable wonderland, where everyone was cool and even the nerds were popular. I think I speak for all of us when I say we were quite pissed off to find the contrary to be true. In terms of the college season, though, they were finally honest with themselves. No one was safe. Remember how Zach was the coolest kid on Earth in high school, with his cool hair and his time-out powers? Not so much in the college years. He was doughy, needed a haircut (his longer hair wasn't even that stylish for '93), and his schemes just didn't work anymore. Our hero was now a mere mortal. And it wasn't fun to watch.

One thing that the college years couldn't do as well as the original series was the "very special episode". I remember the Johnny Dakota anti-drug episode, with NBC's then-president, Brandon Tartikoff. Everyone remembers the "I'm so excited! I'm so excited! I'm so...scared" episode. But did anyone see the College Years' entry into the field? No? Well, allow me to tell you about it.

Seeing as how college is all about "finding yourself", SBTB:TCY decided to focus on identity development. There's an episode where this Latina has a thing for Slater, and begins flirting with him in Spanish. Unfortunately, poor Albert Clifford doesn't know what the Hell she's saying. He's wondering why she thinks he knows Spanish, while she it muy disappointed that he doesn't know his native tongue. She tries to convince him that he's from the Southern hemisphere, but he just ain't hearing it. Let me point out that she's one of those campus revolutionary chicks. You know the kind...she's hot because she's got passion, and usually some weak guy will end up chaining himself to the student union, in some poor attempt to impress her and get into her hemp panties. Who am I kidding? Those chicks don't wear panties!

So, A.C. calls home and confronts his dad, the good solider, about the crazy things this chick is saying. Well, it turns out that A.C Slater is actually A.C. Sanchez, as his father changed his name when he joined the Army. Apparently, it would help him blend in and move up the ranks better.
Now, A.C.'s got some soul-searching to do. I've written about it before, but it's the whole Bill Cross Model of Minority Identity Development. That was Slater's "encounter", so next he throws himself into the cause, and turns on his Zach and Screech because they "just don't understand". Eventually, they have one of those sitcom endings, where Slater realizes he's gone a bit overboard, while his friends reassure him that they'll accept him regardless of his background, and that they'll all get through it together.

Here's what always got me: how the Hell didn't Slater know he was Latino? How many other Jheri-curled, silk shirt & parachute pants-wearing kids were there are Bayside? None. Now, Slater never exactly acknowledged his geneology in the past, but he once referred to Bolivia. Now, he was an Army brat, so maybe he got confused. However, he couldn't have thought he was White! First off, he was the only one who could dance. He was even better than Lisa, and her lame-ass "The Sprain".

In a way, I want to blame Bayside. It was never a bastion of diversity. As far as black kids, there was Lisa Turtle (who doesn't really count), and there was the Black nerd who had the Wolfman Jack voice. Now, I commend Peter Engel for going with a Black nerd, as opposed to the obvious Asian choice. Then again, there were no Asians at Bayside. I think someone better call the school board! Anyway, the black kids increased their numbers when that old-looking freshman popped up senior year, and asked Lisa to the Welcome Back dance. Man, was she embarassed! But I digress...If Slater had grown up in a more diverse environment, perhaps this revelation, or "revelación".

It was a heavy-handed attempt at best. On the one hand, I want to commend SBTB for thinking outside the usual box. No zit-before-prom episodes. No we-got-ripped-off-buying-class-rings" episode. Not even a "I-get-radio-signals-through-my-dental-work" episode. The writers were moving to bigger and better things, but it fell with a thud. I've always wondered what we might have seen had the show continued another season. Maybe the "Screech celebrates Passover" episode. Or the "Alex has an eating disorder (College Years character; look her up). Or, maybe even the "Zach deals with his collegiate douchebaggery" episode. I've got to be honest: Bayside Zach was the kid that we all wanted to grow up to be, while California University Zach isn't very likeable. Let's face it, College Zach had "date rapist" written all over him...

Posted by William @ 10/17/2007 06:07:00 PM
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