WilliamBruceWest.com80s Archives » WilliamBruceWest.com

21st May2013

Best of the West #3: Knight Rider Knight 2000 Voice Car

by Will

I don’t do these posts much, so you know it’s a special occasion. If you’re new here, then let me explain Best of the West to you: these are pieces of my collection that hold more meaning than the others. These are the “I’d grab if there’s ever a fire” items. This ain’t your average Thrift Justice stuff – these are the top shelf items. OK, now that I’ve got that out of the way, why am I doing this today? Well, it’s really all but the timing of some real life events. Yesterday was the funeral for one of the kids at work. I didn’t know him, but I wanted to feel a part of the community, so I volunteered to sing in the choir for the service. It was really moving, and it was a feeling I hadn’t experienced since glee club days. It got me to thinking how I’d want to be remembered when my time comes. I hope people think I was hilarious. Not just “haha” funny, but “why wasn’t he a comedian?!” funny. I hope they think I was a good person and a good friend. Also, I hope I’m remembered as a caring and magnificent lover, despite my average endowment (at least according to my spam folder…). Anyway, this also got me to thinking about my first funeral experience: my dad’s.

Courtesy of Orangeslime.com

My father passed away from an aneurysm when I was three. For this reason, I’m always scared of head trauma, and I never make fun of aneurysms. Because I was so young, I wasn’t really privy to the funeral proceedings. In fact, my cousin was tasked with taking me to Toys “R” Us to distract me. While there, I remember getting a radio controlled Knight Rider K.I.T.T. that had a working scanner light. You don’t give an RC car to a three year old! I just kept driving it into walls. It was really cool, but I was always rough with toys, so it didn’t last long. Sure, I kept it, but the electronics surely didn’t work, and the car looked like it did at the end of “Knight of the Juggernaut Part 1″.

Still, I remember the car always angered me because I couldn’t put a figure inside. I think I eventually even broke the window, like an inner city youth, just so I could stick a G.I. Joe in it. I didn’t realize there was actually a version that did what I needed it to do. No, I had my “distraction” K.I.T.T. so I wouldn’t realize my dad was gone. In fact, it wasn’t until years later that I pieced together what had happened that day. Until then, I always remembered it as “the time all my relatives came to see me”.

Fast forward to about a year ago. My former employer, Diamond Comic Distributors, was releasing a Previews exclusive Knight Rider K.I.T.T. with lights and sounds, and included a 3.75″ Michael Knight Figure. Of course I was gonna buy it! Even if it was $50, and the Michael Knight looked NOTHING like David Hasselhoff. That reminded me that I already had a nearly 6″ Michael Knight from the 80s, and I never really knew why he was released. Remember that post about my Cousin Oliver and the G.I. Joe mystery? Well, that was also the first and only time I saw Knight Rider toys at retail. With the exception of the Whip Shifter (which I also had), I had completely forgotten there was essentially a full line of toys. So I took to eBay, to learn more about the line, and find out if there were any figures other than Michael. It turns out he’s the only one, and that he came packed in with an electronic K.I.T.T. That had opening doors! What I always wanted had existed all the time! And the vintage K.I.T.T. had dropped in price since the announcement of the newer version, so you could get one for about $100. Why buy a newer copy when I could have the original? So, a few weeks before my wedding, I told Lindsay, “I’m about to drop about $100 on a Knight Rider car, and I just want you to know that.” Thankfully, she knew the importance and was cool with it. It actually arrived just before our honeymoon, but I didn’t really get a chance to look at it until weeks later. At the end of the day, it cost about $80 after shipping, and it had its original box! Oh, and IT WORKS! Let’s take a closer look at it, shall we?

This thing was $26.96 in 1985! That’s, like, $80 in today’s money. NOTE: I am not an economist, nor an expert on inflation

Nowhere on this box does it say “Child’s hand not included”. I demand my white child’s hand!

I wonder if it even had pack-in directions, as the whole shebang is told on the back of the box.

I love the detail of the stickers inside, but Michael needs to do some dusting!

I just like pushing it along my carpet, pretending K.I.T.T.’s driving through the desert. Of course, it’d be more effective if the friggin’ white child hand had been in the box!

As you can see from the box, K.I.T.T. says 6 different phrases. I couldn’t really verify them all, ’cause we’re a household with no C batteries; lots of Ds for some reason, though… Anyway, with the voice of someone who’s just roofied you, the car said “Callll mee K.T.T. for shorrrtt.” Supposedly, he also says:

“Engaging Infrared Tracking Scope”

“Scanner Indicates Danger Ahead”

“I Shall Activate The Turbo Boost”

“Your Reflexes Are Slow”

“What Is Our Next Mission?”

Well, the circle is now complete. Like a phoenix, my fallen K.I.T.T. has arisen, with all the qualities I originally wanted. Screw Diamond and their imposter. I now have the real thing! I hope you’ve enjoyed this “shadowy flight into the dangerous world of a man who does not exist”. Anyway, tomorrow’s promised to no one, so try to enjoy today. Thanks for reading, and let me know some of your “holy grails” in the comments!

Category : Uncategorized

Tags : 80s, Best of the West, Diamond, Relationships, Toys, TRU

3 Comm

07th May2013

Reboot That Bitch: The Fall Guy

by Will

I’m not sure if this’ll become a regular feature, but I’ve had a few of these rolling around in my head lately, so let’s see what happens. The premise is pretty simple: rebooting an old franchise with newer cast members. The Nerd Lunch guys do it all the time with their Re-Do podcasts, so I’m not reinventing the wheel. I do, however, seem to love the one-hour weekend syndicated drama format more than most, so I’ll probably be focusing on more of those sorts of shows. Anyway, today we’re going to talk about The Fall Guy (yeah, I know it was an ABC show, but I grew up with it in syndication, and that’s exactly where it would land in today’s TV climate).

One of my favorite shows of the 80s, The Fall Guy starred Lee Majors as stuntman Colt Seavers, a man who works as a bounty hunter when not taking scrapes for stars like Robert Redford on screen. He’s accompanied by his cousin Howie (Douglas Barr), and stuntwoman Jody (Heather Thomas). First off, let me just take a moment to give Douglas Barr a round of applause. While not a household name, he was THE utility player of 80s television. If not for him and Terry Kiser, we wouldn’t have had anything to watch. Anyway, The Fall Guy was pretty formulaic – Colt gives us a voiceover of what life’s like as a stunt man, then he’d get a job to go after someone who’s jumped bail. His awesome truck usually jumped something cool, and Colt and Howie usually got into a fist fight in a dive bar. Oh, and when people shot at each other, no one got hit – in true Glen A. Larson fashion.

Plot

When thinking about a reboot of this franchise, it’s actually a lot harder than you’d assume. You see, Hollywood hasn’t really cranked out too many prettyboy actors like Robert Redford in recent years. We’ve either got the metrosexual who does his own stunts (Will Smith, Tom Cruise), or CGI taking care of the hard stuff. So, that would be a leading theme in this new incarnation. This Colt Seavers would actually be more successful as a bounty hunter, as the stunt industry is getting smaller. He’s still trying to get jobs here and there, but he’s realizing that Hollywood has changed, and his stuntman days are numbered. Also factor in that he’s not the youngest kid on the block, so even the jobs opening up are going to younger guys, with fewer broken bones.

Setting

Considering all the work is in LA, the show would remain in LA. Not that Colt couldn’t go on location for shoots, but HQ is in LA. I want a particular LA, though. I fell in love with the decadent, otherworldly LA depicted in shows like V.I.P. and Fastlane. That’s the LA where everyone goes to make dreams come true, yet they’re too oblivious to realize very few people’s dreams are coming true. I want the LA where every waiter’s an actor, and the real stars don’t give a shit about them. There’s glitz and glamour everywhere you look, but no one seems to know how to get from where they are to that. Colt hates this world, but he knows where his bread is buttered. He resents the fact that the “stars” get the attention, while he does all the heavy work (what little there is to be done lately). I want the same tongue-in-cheek nature of V.I.P. (which I think owes a lot to the original Fall Guy), and I want D-list guest stars, like David Faustino and Kato Kaelin. It’s a weekend show, with no network backing, so that’s the guest budget we’re working with.

Casting

Colt Seavers – Michael Biehn

If this show were to start in the fall, Biehn would be 57 – about 10 years older than Majors when he had the role. That said, I couldn’t think of anyone better. He’s still in great shape, and he’s got the bumps to sell the role. They don’t make ‘em like Majors/Biehn anymore, as you need a guy who’s ruggedly handsome, has a shit-eating grin, but also couldn’t care less about the “stars” around him. Again, working with a weekly syndicated budget, this is a major coup. I almost went with Greg Evigan, but Biehn is the right choice. The perfect choice. In the event Biehn turned it down, I’d go with David Chokachi.

Howie Munson – Kyle Bornheimer

This is a tough role to cast, as Howie isn’t exactly “bumbling”, but he’s not the most coordinated guy. He’s got a good heart, though, and earnestly wants to learn the stuntman trade from Colt. He’s milquetoast with an edge. For this, I’m going with Kyle Bornheimer. You may not know his name, but you’ve seen his face. I first noticed him when he was on NBC’s short-lived Perfect Couples, with Olivia Munn and Waitress from It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia. Currently, he’s the lead on ABC’s soon to be canceled Family Tools. His career is almost like Douglas Barr’s, but I could see him in the role so perfectly.

Jody Banks – Kaley Cuoco

Here’s where things get a little tough. Everyone knows that Heather Thomas was on this show to add sex appeal. Well, her and Markie Post. She was a stuntwoman, but she usually just walked around in a bikini. If this were Maury, she’d be the Sexy Decoy. I need someone hot, but also with the physicality to pull this off. I also need someone who works within the budget. I want to keep the Happy Endings cast employed, so I gravitate to Elisha Cuthbert for hot/funny, but Eliza Coupe for hot/athletic. Still, I think both might be out of the price range of this little venture. Nope – got it. Kaley Cuoco. Her star is rising, but I don’t think she’d cost too much. Her recent commercial push shows she’ll take any job, and TBBT only has about 3 more seasons in it. She’s perfect for the humor and the physicality. I’ll say, however, that her addition to the cast bumps this up from syndication to a USA Original Series (yeah, they call ‘em that even when they’re not).

The Truck

Look at it! Look at it JUMP! Yeah, that truck’s a member of the cast just as much as Colt. It ain’t going anywhere.

Theme Song

The original stays. I’m not sure if Michael Biehn can sing, but if he can, he’s doing it. If not, we’ll just use the Lee Majors version. Majors will already have cameos as Colt’s inspiration and mentor. I once toyed with the fact that New Colt was really just the brother of original Colt (which mean New Colt’s name would have to be Something Else Severs), but I never really like that stuff. So, Majors will be around, but we’ll call him something like “Dutch”. Anyway, the song. This is it:

Summary

So, there ya have it. I think it’s got about 3 seasons in it, if scheduled properly. Who knows – might even make it to 5. I say 3 seasons because that’s when renegotiation would occur, and I’m sure this show would require a favored nations clause, like Three’s Company. Basically, when one gets a raise, they all get a raise – even if one makes more, which would be Cuoco. Negotiations tend to fall apart at that point, as Suzanne Somers can attest. Anyway, this isn’t the show that’s gonna win awards or get rave reviews. It’s guilty pleasure television. It’s TV for the tween and teen who’s wrapped up in video games. Even if it can’t ween them off the XBox teat, then it’s guilty pleasure TV for bored husbands and lonely spinsters. The bottom line is that they don’t make TV like this anymore. A lot of folks might say that’s a good thing, but I’m not one of them. So, this is just my attempt at bringing back a little, albeit important, piece of my childhood.

Category : Uncategorized

Tags : 80s, Syndication, Television

7 Comm

29th Apr2013

Monday Musings – Mutation Inconsistencies in the 80s TMNT Universe

by Will

This is the kind of thing that’d go into West Week Ever, but I’ll forget it by then. So, anyway…

I have real problems with the mutations of both the Ninja Turtles and Splinter. I mean, I’m sure there’s no real “science” behind it, but certain things don’t match up. OK, going by the 80′s cartoon (I never read the comic, and I’m omitting the movie for now), human Hamato Yoshi is exiled to the sewers, but has 4 pet turtles to keep him company.

Now, first off, why the Hell is he in the sewers?! I mean, this is pre-Giuliani NYC, meaning there’s all kinds of hooker panties and dirty needles down there. Surely he could’ve gotten a job at a Radio Shack, and a roommate, right? Anyway, he and these turtles live in the sewer, and Oroku Saki/Shredder dumps mutagen into the sewers to kill Yoshi. Again, this is fucked up. He’s gonna risk New York’s already questionable water quality to kill ONE DUDE?! He could just jump down a manhole cover with a pistol. Bitch move, Shredder! Here’s where things don’t make sense to me: the turtles get into the ooze, and Yoshi picks them up to wipe it off. Since they were last in contact with a human, they change into humanoid turtles. HOWEVER, Yoshi turns into rat, Splinter, even though he actually last touched turtles! So, shouldn’t he be some weird human turtloid? Or, at the very least, a human/turtle/rat hybrid? Was it ever said that a subject could only undergo one mutation?

Also, most mutagen experiments were the result of a merger: Bebop and Rocksteady were gang bangers who essentially had a warthog and rhinoceros merged into them. They were humans with animalistic traits and features, kinda like the splicing trend in Batman Beyond. This is basically was happens with Splinter – human who develops animal features. What happened with the turtles, however, is a fluke that isn’t supported by other depictions of mutations: they were animals who basically underwent personification. There’s no precedent for this! Even Baxter Stockman was a human who took on fly characteristics. In all known cases, the human side exerts dominance over the mutation, EXCEPT when it comes to the Turtles. If anything, Hamato Yoshi should’ve mutated into a human/turtle hybrid with multiple personality disorder INSTEAD of four, basic turtles mutating into humanoid teenagers.

And why teenagers? That was the worst possible age for this to happen. It’s like being born right into puberty, yet this was never dealt with. No zits, no dateless Saturdays, nothing. Even with April walking around with her omnipresent cleavage! And what kind of weird chick hangs out with turtles. Sure, they saved her life, but she was hot. Was she trying to act out some kind of freaky fantasy. I mean, a busty chick, hanging out in sewers, and banging a dude in a hockey mask? That’s a chick who needs some therapy!

Anyway, I could go on about this for hours, but I’ll stop now. Has any of this occurred to any of you out there? Let me know in the comments!

Category : Uncategorized

Tags : 80s, Batman, Comics, DC, Random Rants, Television

5 Comm

26th Apr2013

West Week Ever – 4/26/13

by Will

I wanna start things off with a grammar lesson. Actually, it’s more of a grammar pet peeve, but I hate the phrase “pet peeve” – what the fuck is a “peeve”? Sounds like a lady problem. Anyway, I try to stay away from grammatical issues, as I think everyone has a blind spot. Lord knows I don’t always have the period within the quotation marks, nor do I say everything properly. Still, this is an epidemic that MUST be stopped: the improper use of and I.

Back in the late 90s, and I wasn’t being used properly. In fact, it really wasn’t being used much at all. Everyone was using and me. Suddenly, a bumper crop of Grammar Nazis appeared. Whenever someone would say, “Kelly and me are going to the mall”, a Grammar Nazi would pop up and, in a condescending tone, say “Kelly and I are going to the mall.” The original speaker would usually roll her eyes, and respond with a curt “Whatever.” Pretty soon, it seemed like the Grammar Nazis had a recruitment drive, as the began to pop up everywhere. They were in coffee shops, PTA meetings, even at the bank! Eventually, the Grammar Nazis won, but that victory came at a price.

You see, once it was ingrained in people’s heads that and I was sometimes the suitable choice, these people began to use it ALL the time. It’s like and me no longer existed, as they were scared of the Grammar Nazis, even though they had already moved on to other things, like correcting there/their/they’re on the Internet. Soon, it became common to hear someone say something like, “Grandma gave $20 to Timmy and I.” Or “She was speaking to Christy and I.” NO! This is wrong. You see, here’s something to keep in mind: how would you say it if there was no other person involved in the situation? You wouldn’t say “Grandma gave $20 to I”, nor would you say “She was speaking to I.” In both cases, you would use ME. So, when someone else is added to the mix, YOU WOULD STILL USE ME! “Grandma gave $20 to me/Grandma gave $20 to Timmy and me”. It’s that simple. Just take a second to think about it before you say it, and eventually it’ll happen without you even needing to think about it. And by NO MEANS, should you ever say and I’s. I’ve actually heard things, like “My wife and I’s commute is usually 3 hours.” NO! This one is a bit more tricky. It should be “My wife’s and my commute…” Got it? Good.

So, who’s ready for some pop culture?

I rarely have to do this, but I need to issue a correction about something I wrote earlier this week. You see, I said that Psych-Out was my first G.I. Joe figure, but that’s not entirely true. There’s a caveat to that: he’s my first G.I. Joe to survive. Let me take you back a little.

I’ve said it before, but I wasn’t exactly a G.I.Joe kid growing up – at least not as much as my friends on Twitter. I think it’s because most of them are about 4-5 years older than me, so it was more prominent in their formative years. I, actually, grew up on the much-derided DiC era of Joe (Got! To get! Tough! Yo! Joe!). Sometimes, I’d rent the older episodes from Erol’s Video (this was pre-Blockbuster, in the DC area), but I know more about Metal Head and Ski Weekend Snake Eyes than I do about the MASS Device and the USS Flagg. My formative Joe years were around the ages of 10 and 11, while they were more 5-8 for other folks. So, when the earlier toys were on shelves, I didn’t exactly have a frame of reference, and didn’t go near them.

Around the late 80s, my cousin came from Mississippi to live with us, as she thought it would be easier to get a job in DC. When she’d go off on business trips, I’d always beg her to bring me something back. I meant a souvenir, but I think she just stopped at a KMart before getting on the bus. So, one time she came back, and she had brought me the L.C.V. Recon Sled. I didn’t know anything about G.I. Joe at the time (I was about 5 at this time, and didn’t watch a lot of cartoons), but it looked cool. The only problem was that I didn’t have any figures to drive it. Looking at the box, it appeared to be driven by a guy wearing a baseball jersey. In my mind, that meant that the Recon Sled must have been his personal vehicle. So, I told my mom I had to have that particular guy. Luckily, toy distribution was better at that time, as the next time we went to Toys “R” Us, there he was, and his name was “Bazooka”. Now, my mom had a really strict stance on toy guns at that time, which I’ll probably write about at some point. The main thing here was that he was shown shooting on the package, but I used my 5 year old mojo to convince her that “It’s not a gun. It’s a bazooka.” Seeing as how she’d never been to war, that seemed to work. I still think I agreed not to play with the bazooka, ya know, with the guy fucking named Bazooka.

So, we get home, and I finally have the driver for my sled. All was right with the world. Since I’d never had a Joe before, I was fascinated by all of its joints – especially the fact that he could do a cycle spin if you twisted him enough at the waist. Do you see where this is going? Yeah, one turn too many, and POP! Bazooka go down de hole. I cried and cried, and showed him to my mom. She was going to take him back to the store (my mom would, and still will, take back anything), and I assumed get me a new one. Well, she took him back, but I never got another Bazooka. I don’t think he was on the pegs anymore when she went back. And, since I was still new to the world of action figures, I didn’t think any other figure would work. Only Bazooka could drive the Recon Sled! Over time, the sled got battered, as I ran it, driverless, into walls and shit. About a year later, I would get Psych-Out, and having learned my lesson, he wouldn’t be doing any cyclone punching. Eventually, I got another Bazooka, but my Recon Sled had left this world. Years later, it was finding a newer edition of Bazooka that ushered me into collection the G.I. Joe 25th anniversary line.

Recently at work, I’ve taken to streaming stand-up specials from YouTube to listen to in the background. Yesterday, I came across this bit from Steve Harvey’s final stand-up show. The funny thing about it is that Lindsay and I watched this exact episode of Family Feud last week, and she swore that they had to have been the dumbest family in the history of the show. It turns out she was right.

Links I Loved:

Agony, Ecstasy, Irony: The Fight For The Soul Of College A Cappella (NPR)

Administrators Gotta Administrate! The 20 Best Fictional Administrative Professionals (UnderScoopFire!)

King Kong World Tour — York, Pennsylvania (Cool and Collected)

22 Unbelievable Places that are Hard to Believe Really Exist (Bored Panda)

This Week’s Posts:
Mail Call Monday – Batman, Empowered, Joes and More!

Pitch Perfect and the True Story of Collegiate A Cappella

10 Superheroes Whose Current Costume Design Will Never Appear in a Movie

WWE Divas to Star in New E! Reality Series + 10 More WWE Superstars and the Reality Shows They’d Be Perfect For

Thrift Justice – The One With All The DVDs

And the 90s TV Sitcom podcast I told you about was posted over at Nerd Lunch

So, one of them drunkenly cussed out a cop, while the other saved rock and roll. One’s begging for fan money, while the other is “the world’s most beautiful woman”. Only one them, however, had the West Week Ever.

I love the Hell out of Fall Out Boy. I discovered them when their third album, Infinity on High, was released – an album that was perfect from beginning to end. I went back and listened to their second album, From Under The Cork Tree, and hated it. I was starting to think they were a one hit wonder until I heard their Welcome to the New Administration mixtape , which I blogged about years ago. Needless to say, I loved that. Seeing as how it was a primer for their upcoming album, Folie A Deux, I expected good things from that album. Unfortunately, it was a “folly of DON’T”. They broke up shortly afterwards, and that wasn’t the note on which I wanted them to go out. Their hiatus was shortlived, though – especially after Patrick Stump’s solo album bombed, and they released Save Rock And Roll last week, which entered the Billboard charts as their second #1 album. Having listened to it, I’m not sure if they saved rock, but it’s certainly good to have them back. Just like Trek movies, it seems that every other FOB album is “the good one”, and luckily this fell in the right place in that sequence. For this, Fall Out Boy has the West Week Ever.

Category : Uncategorized

Tags : 80s, Comics, Movies, Random Rants, Television, Toys, TRU, West Week Ever, Wrestling

3 Comm

25th Apr2013

Thrift Justice – The One With All the DVDs

by Will

Well, I pretty much showed my hand in the title, but this one’s all about DVDs. Back in the days of yore, I was what you might call a “DVD whore”. Hey, that rhymed! Anyway, if it was cheap enough, I’d buy it. I used to tape any and everything off TV, even though I’d never watch it again. I’d probably have done it with discs, had it been easy enough. If I found a movie that I’d seen and kinda liked, or had never seen, I’d buy it if it was under $10. And I’d buy the first season of ANY show. Now, I’ve got more DVDs than I’ll ever watch before I die, yet I can bring myself to get rid of them. Don’t have time to watch them, either, ’cause I have 39 hours of Burn Notice on the DVR I need to get through. So, needless to say, I’ve cut back a lot in recent years. Still, with thrift stores, I still find myself succumbing to amazing prizes where DVDs are concerned. So, I’ve added a few more to the collection in recent months, much to my disappointment in myself.

I’m totally the kind to kiss & tell, but I’d like to think I might have something in common with Colt Seavers. I mean, I’d love to jump my truck over shit, and I’d hire Heather Thomas if given the chance. Anyway, I had to buy this. I love this show, and this was only $4. This was one of the first shows where they did they “Season 1 Part 1″ shit, so it’s a nice deal to get the entire first season without having to buy 2 different sets.

By this point, the “cool kids” had moved over to Fox Kids on Saturday mornings, but NBC ran all the steam out of the Chipmunks franchise. Once the whole pop star angle got tired, they decided to have the Chipmunks doing movie parodies, and the show was retitled Chipmunks Go To The Movies. It didn’t last long, nor was it very memorable, yet I had one episode on VHS – “Batmunk”. I had to get this DVD, as it has “Batmunk”, as well as “Star Wreck: The Absolutely Final Frontier”, and “Funny, We Shrunk The Adults”. I can finally get rid of that VHS tape! Yeah, I still have it, along with 21 tapes of Power Rangers episodes…

I’ve never understood why everyone raves over this show. Sure, I watched it, but it was never “destination television” for me. It was simply “the show Fox hasn’t gotten around to canceling yet”. I enjoyed it when it was on, but I’m amazed it has this rabid following now, signing up for Netflix JUST to watch the upcoming season. So, clearly I missed something. I found these for $3 each, so I had to do it. I found Season 1 a few months ago, so now I just need to carve out some time to get through them.

This is basically “Knight Rider In The Air”, right? Children of the 80s love to reference this show, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen it – this or that show that was “Knight Rider on a Motorcycle”. Sorry, but actual Knight Rider was good enough for me. After I did What’s the Scoop on UnderScoopFire’s podcast, I was mocked by the Twitter community for not knowing who “Stringfellow Hawk” was. Anyway, I swear I found these the very next week and figured, “Why not?” I mean, it’s worth is just to see that dude with the blacked-out glasses lens. He’s really on the show, right? Why he thought that was a better look than a regular old eye patch, I do not know.

Surprising to many, I’ve only seen about 1/3 of Pixar’s output. I like 2D animation, I don’t go to many movies, and when I do go, I don’t want to deal with the squeals of children. At this point, I’ve only seen Toy Story, Monsters, Inc.,The Incredibles, and Up! That’s it. No Finding Nemo, No Wall-E, no Toy Story 3. Nothing. So, when I find cheap Pixar movies, I pick ‘em up, even if they’re just investments in my future “Shut The Fuck Up On This Roadtrip, Kids” stockpile. I’m really weirded out by the concept of this movie, though. Who drives the cars? If they’re sentient, were they built, or were they put on this Earth by some kind of Car God? Are Click & Clack: The Tappet Brothers their Car Gods? Are there people in the stands, or are other cars the spectators? So many questions!

If you’re new here, I like “bad” pop. No, I LOVE it! One of my favorite groups from the past 15 years was S Club 7/S Club from the UK. Over there, they had a weekly TV series, sold out tours, and movies. Here, their show aired on the Fox Family Channel (before ABC bought it), but they were nobodies here, so it didn’t really have any resonance. Well, right before they broke up, they released Seeing Double, a movie about clones or some shit. Their TV series was just as cheesy as The Monkees, so a movie about S Club clones doesn’t seem that farfetched. It’s unbelievably hard to find UK stuff in the US, as half the torrents don’t work, and the streaming sites are being taken down every week. I still haven’t seen The Inbetweeners Movie. Anyway, I think this was $2, so it was worth it to me. Even if it’s horrible, it can’t be as sad as half the group’s recent “comeback” attempts:

They didn’t even lure back any of the hot members! It’s just token black guy, chick who got kicked off Big Brother for calling someone a “Paki”, and the one who pulled a “Geri” a quit before the group broke up. Let’s just say folks weren’t exactly lining up to support them.

Welp, that’s it for this installment. Until next time, continue looking for treasure, but keep your hands off my shit. It’s mine!

Category : Uncategorized

Tags : 80s, DVDs, Fox Kids, Music, Pop, Power Rangers, Television, Thrift, Thrift Justice

4 Comm

22nd Apr2013

Mail Call Monday – Batman, Empowered, Joes and More!

by Will

Check my swag, yo! I just felt there had been such an influx of goodies through the mail that warranted some mention. I don’t typically do this, as most of my stuff tends to come from random eBay sellers. The past 2 weeks, however, have brought stuff from Facebook and Twitter friends, so I want to share those with ya.

First up, Kevin over at Team Hellions took me up on the Trader Will’s Deal-O-Rama post that I wrote for the League of Extraordinary Bloggers. I was glad he came forward, as I was starting to feel like the kid picked last for sports. Well, he did not disappoint!

As you can see, I got the first 2 volumes of Adam Warren’s Empowered, as well as a deck of Star Wars playing cards. His wife also sent along something nice for my wife, but she ran off with it before I could take a picture! I read the first volume of Empowered years ago and loved it, but never got around to actually buying any of it. Needless to say, I can’t wait to read these. Thanks, Kevin!

Next up, I bought this from my buddy Vincent over at Dinosaur Toy Vault/The Robot’s Pajamas. He went to Joe Con, and ended up buying the Exclusive Night Force Nocturnal Fire boxed set. He’s selling off the figures to pay for his trip, and I just had to get Psyceh-Out. Even though I think he gave me a good price, I paid more than I ever should for a G.I.Joe figure. Still, Psyche-Out holds a special place in my heart, as he was the first G.I. Joe figure I ever got. I hadn’t seen the cartoon at that time, so I didn’t even realize he wasn’t important. I just loved that he had satellite dishes all over himself, and that Woolworths only had him and Raptor. I sure as Hell wasn’t buying Raptor! In the years to follow, I would lose all his dish accessories, snatch the antenna from the back of his head, and bite off his fingers. Who knew I was training for a job at GitMo? As maimed as he is, I still have that figure, as he suffers from PTSD in my Joe case at my mom’s house. One day, he will stand side by side with his updated version, and see that it truly does get better (NOTE: It always bothered me they spelled his name – typically that’s pronounced “SY-kee”, making his name pronounced “SY-kee Out”).

Some more eBay acquisitions to bolster Operation Trade-Up. That X-Statix Omnibus gets rid of an entire longbox for me on its own. That thing retails for $125, but somehow I found it for $32. And if you’ve never heard of it, definitely track down The Last Days of American Crime by Radical. There’s a Bruce Willis-starring movie just waiting to be made!

Next up, Twitter/Facebook pal @kngfu71 was selling off some action figures, and I snagged this movie Reed Richards off him. Little known fact: I’m not an avid Marvel Legends collector, but I’m trying to track down all the movie versions of Marvel characters on the cheap. I had a Reed body and accessories that I found at a thrift store, but he didn’t have a head. I actually bought this to cannibalize it, but he’s so cool that I think he gets to live, and I’ll just put that other Reed body on the site for a customizer to buy. If I’m not mistaken, I believe I’ve also got a Sue Storm on the way from Michael, so that will complete my movie Fantastic Four!

Finally, everyone was raving over this figure, and I knew I would need it for my Batman collection. That said, it’s not that easy to find, and I really don’t have time for a toy hunt right now. Luckily, I ended up getting an Amazon gift card for cashing in some bank rewards points, and I couldn’t think of a better way to waste it! Actually, I thought of several different ways, but it was burning a hole in my pocket. Though I probably wouldn’t buy from them directly, this ended up coming from Big Bad Toy Store via Amazon. It was cheaper than I was gonna find at retail, and when everything was said and done, I only spent $1.38 out of my pocket. So, what can I say about him? He’s a big fucking hunk of plastic! The New Plastic Smell was so full and robust that I just huffed his card bubble once I finally extracted him. I saw many colors, and I think I learned Chinese! Since I’ve never owned an MOTUC figure (the line from which the body was borrowed), I wasn’t really familiar with the different articulation. His rubber undies obstruct full movement of his hip joints. I haven’t seen an other review reference that, but that’s how mine turned out. Too bad he’s not a pegwarmer like Penguin – I’m sure a lot of customizers would love to have a field day with that MOTUC body at a lower price than the Matty Collector store charges!

Well, there ya have it. Would you like to be included in a future Mail Call Monday? Then send me some shit, fool! It’s just that simple. I’m out.

Category : Uncategorized

Tags : 80s, Batman, Comics, DC, Indie, LOEB, Marvel, Toys, X-Men

6 Comm

12th Apr2013

West Week Ever – 4/12/13

by Will

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Who had the West Week Ever? KEEP READING!

We took a week off, but we’re back! Why am I saying “we”? I’m the only one here… Anyway, it’s been an interesting week online, to say the least.

Anyone remember back when The Craft came out, and every white girl you knew decided she wanted to be a witch? This was right before her “Lesbian, For The Attention” phase. I’ve been thinking about college lately, as I’m avoiding committing to my 10 year reunion. One thing I laugh about every time I think about it is the time my friend Ted and I got two girls to kiss. Not just a peck, but full on making out. They were SUCH attention whores, and I was such a douche. Anyway, I said, and I quote, “No one will ever take this away from us!” How sad was it that I considered that to be a high point in life? Now I think about it and just laugh and laugh. At myself.

My pal Jon over at Double Dumbass On You sent me this clip last night:

I have so many issues! First off, this kid’s belly button makes me retch. I’m sorry for any of you guys with outies, but it looks like a tumor or something. I’m also really curious about the cultural distinctions in the video: only the “white bitches” (that’s not derogatory – that’s their music video rank) actually pop their booties near the kid. The black girls keep their distance, probably because he’s their cousin or something. And how hard up for meth do you have to be to perform in such a thing? Take a look at that one chick – sure, she’s poppin’ her cheeks, but it looks like no one told her she’d need waterproof mascara. And what’s with that other chick?! SHE AIN’T GOT NO BOOTY TO POP! Did she win a contest or something? Or was this community service? Was she being held hostage?

He’s the biggest boss that was fired this week: Rick Ross lost his Reebok deal after rapping about rape. Not sure why you’d have a fat guy promoting your athletic shoe, but whatever. America. So, with this precedent, I bet we’re gonna take a whole bunch of other shit off the shelves and out of the iTunes store, right? RIGHT? Oh, this was just an isolated incident? Even though hip hop’s been saying fucked up shit forever? Oh, OK. I’d get some heat for this if I actually had a sizable black readership, but I’m constantly amazed by the shit Black America gets mad about. No, I’m not justifying rape or rape culture. I just don’t get how hip hop culture chooses its battles. I mean, how does Rick Ross even still have fans to be angry? Everybody makes fun of his weight, everyone makes fun of his titties, everyone makes fun of his dislike for wearing shirts. Hell, everyone mocked him when it came out that he was a fraud and former prison guard. There were MANY chances to get off that train, and folks stayed on. What he said was wrong, but he’s targeted because America’s on High Rape Alert in the media. Once the focus shifts over to gun control, the entire hip hop community better be scared. Oh, They don’t rap about guns and getting shot anymore? Fuck, what is hip hop about these days? Oh, right – they rap about going to Cuba.

OK, I need some help with this one. I’m not exactly loved in the G.I. Joe circles of the internet, for whatever reason, but I need someone to clear something up for me. You see, my love of G.I. Joe came from my older cousin, Oliver. He lived in New York, and was about 6 years older than me. I eventually inherited his Joe collection once he discovered girls, but I have a very distinct memory that I can’t back up. One year, in the mid 80s (I know it was mid, as this was the ONLY time I’d ever seen Knight Rider toys at retail), his family came down to visit and we all went to Toys “R” Us. He got one of the most recent Joes, as I couldn’t wait for him to open it so that I could play with it. Here’s where it gets weird: I remember him taking something out of the pack, and pop it in his mouth. Originally, I thought it was a backpack, but it was an odd purple color at a time when G.I. Joe hadn’t journeyed too far from actual military colors. I remember going, “Ew, why did you put that in your mouth?!” and he told me that it was candy and began to chomp away. Now, since then, I have noticed many different G.I. Joe pack-ins, from body transfers to standard mail-in pamphlets, but I’ve found no reference of a candy promo. I always thought it was a Bonkers chew, but I can’t any proof of such a pack-in. So, was he just fucking with me OR was there actually a candy pack-in for G.I. Joes back in the 80s? Help me, Internet!

While I’m help from the Internet, I’ve got another question: do any of you have music in your iTunes that you’ve never heard? Here’s my dilemma: I am a music HOARDER. I’ve forgotten all the stuff I have, but I feel like I have to give everything a “once through” before it gets synced to my iPod. That way, I can weed out tracks I don’t like and save some space. At least, that was the original intent, when I still had a 30 GB iPod. About a year and a half ago, my wife got me the 160 GB iPod where space isn’t an issue. But I’ve never taken it out of the box. Why? Well, I got a new computer during that time, and all my music is scattered across multiple external hard drives. Every time I have an extended break, my plan is to finally get everything on the new iPod, but it never happens. A bigger problem is that my music comes from the back alleys of the internet, so I have to clean up tags and album art; it’s the OCD in me. So, I’ve probably got as many gigs of music I’ve never heard as I have of music that’s already been vetted. So, do I suck it up, throw everything on the iPod and discover the songs that way, or do I continue on my “preview” path, which just prolongs my getting the iPod set up? Anyone else deal with this? Thoughts?

My posts this week have been all over the place, so we can’t go with the usual list format. First off, I threw together the rare Sunday post in order to submit my uber popular submission for the League of Extraordinary Bloggers’ weekly topic. Then, I felt guilty for missing last week’s West Week Ever, so I pseudo made up for it on Monday with The Week That Wasn’t. Then, I brought back Thrift Justice Road Trip to talk about the antique mall that I explored with @LamarRevenger. Finally, I was welcomed to pen a guest post over at The Cold Slither Podcast’s site to commemorate the start of the Masters Golf Tournament. So, be sure to check out all of those links!

Speaking of Lamar, I’d like to congratulate him for his winning prediction in the Cold Slither Podcast’s Slither Madness Tournament! It couldn’t have happened to a greater dude, and he’ll be receiving something from Will’s World of Wonder. Be sure to check out the site yourself, as I’m sure I’ve got something you’d love to add to your collection! Why catch waves or fill yourself with rage when I’ve done the legwork for you?

One set race relations back to House of Buggin’ levels, while one set off the boners of fanboys everywhere. One punked everyone with a tweet, while the other is the world’s most famous Kim Jong-Il impersonator. Only one, however, had the West Week Ever!

Sorry, America, but it’s my site. I could’ve gone with LL and Brad, but they released a newer song by week’s end. I couldn’t give a shit about Carrie Kelley, and I REALLY don’t care about Morris Chestnut. So, that leaves us with Psy. This week, he released “Gentleman”, which everyone expects to replace Gangnam Style. It won’t, but people can still dream. Apparently, there’s a dance with it, but the video isn’t out yet. Anyway, it’s got a good beat, and the man shouts “Westside!” More appropriately, he correctly shouts it as “West SaYEED!” Get this man a Green Card! You can listen below, but for this, Psy had the West Week Ever

UPDATE: The video has arrived! If only I’d waited 24 hours…

Category : Uncategorized

Tags : 80s, Country, LOEB, Movies, Music, Politics, Pop, Race, Relationships, Toys, TRU, West Week Ever

6 Comm

15th Mar2013

LOEB Presents West Week Ever RED – 3/15/13

by Will

Who had the West Week Ever? Keep reading!

This has been a week! First, the elephant I shoved into the room late Wednesday night on Twitter: I did undergo a “procedure” yesterday, but everything seems to be OK for now. I can’t say much about it, but I assure you that I’m still fat and my penis is the same size it was when the week began. I can say, however, that I was really touched by the outpouring of tweets I got. It means a lot to me that a group of “strangers” can basically become a digital family. Thanks to @OAFE @T16Skyhopp @MeisterShake @JohnDoctorKent @timdogg98
@avenuesalamode @exveebraun @MattGuzy @monsterfink @RavingToyManiac @LamarRevenger @teamhellions @thebrandi @classickmateria @Brock626 @howardthedeck @chapmanrunner and @ponderiss for their concern

I also wanna thank @sharepointjoe @smurfwreck and @T16skyhopp for the awesome packages they sent me. I’m building a Kre-O army!

I’m gonna try something different here. I’m not even sure of it’s allowed, but we’ll see. I haven’t been as involved in posting for The League of Extraordinary Bloggers as I should be, and the weeks sometimes speed by. Since I’m contractually obligated to do a West Week Ever each Friday (my sponsors at Will’s World of Wonder can be a bunch of dickholes sometimes), the only way I can do this week’s LOEB post is to fit it in here. So, this week’s topic is a photo challenge called “I see RED”. I thought about doing a huge shot of all my Red Rangers (ya know, to pander to the demo that drives the most traffic to this site), but I really don’t feel like digging all those out. Then, it dawned on me. I could use this:

You may remember this shot from earlier this week on Twitter/Instagram. Check them out if you wanna see my hilarious yet racially insensitive caption. Don’t worry – there’s a story here. Ya see, I went to college with the Arizona Iced Tea heiress. For realsies, she exists! And she had the biggest rack I’d ever seen. So big that I dubbed her “racktacular”. My buddy used to date her, and somehow felt the need to tell her of her new moniker. Instead of getting mad, she jokingly wore it as a badge of honor…until her later reduction. A moment of silence for those magnificent titties. I always think of her when I see any beverage from Arizona.

Anyway, I was thirsty and didn’t feel like soda since it was 8 in the morning. So, my inner Spirit Negro said, “Watuhmelon?! Lah-dee-dah!”, and I tapdanced my way over to the counter. I’d never had it before, so what did I think? It smelled like Fruit Rollups, which is ALWAYS a plus. I’m not sure of the taste, though. I tend to hate synthetic watermelon, but this wasn’t bad. Know what it tastes like? Stay with me here, as I’m about to lose a few of you. It tastes the way a female rapper would describe the taste of her vagina. You know, they’re always comparing it to something good like Pop Tarts or Pepsi, but you know the real deal. Yeah, like that.

Here are some other Leaguer posts on the topic:
21 Red-iculous, Random Things About Me – ShezCrafti
I’m Seeing Red (You Big Dummy) – Flashlights Are Something To Eat
I’m Seeing Red – Cool & Collected
Welp, if that was the first time any new Leaguer has stopped by, thanks for playing our game and I understand if you’d like to leave now. For the rest of you, we’ve still got work to do.

I used to dream about working for Wizard Magazine, but I guess it wasn’t in the cards. Not that I really tried. I made it to Diamond, but had friends who’d applied to Wizard. Basically, you were lucky to make $20K, while living in Congers, NY (where the median income was about $75K). Looking back, this isn’t so odd when you think of it in terms of “start-up culture”: to get an idea off the ground, folks tend to work long hours for little-to-no paycheck. The thing with Wizard, though, is that even once it “made it”, it doesn’t seem like life got better for the employee. That’s all from an HR/contractual side, though. In practice, it seems like the bunker mentality forged a lot of great friendships, and seeded the comic industry with the PR power players that it has today. Anyway, with all this in mind, I really enjoyed this Where Are They Now? article about a few Wizard staffers.

This may come as a surprise to some, but I’ve spent next to no time on TV Tropes. It’s a timesink, and it just seems too…easy. I mean, why read these things when you could just watch them and identify them yourself? Still, they put names on phenomena that otherwise didn’t have titles; I’ll give them that. So, I think I’ve boiled down the essence of the typical 80s/90s sitcomto 13 episodes. Think of it like the British TV model – even if it gets canceled after one season, it has accomplished its mission. Anyway, here’s how it would be mapped out:

01. Pilot Episode Where Illogical Conceit For Series Is Introduced

02. Episode Packed With Character Development

03. Episode Featuring Pillow Fight OR Argument Steeped In Sexual Tension

04. Episode With Appearance By Then-Contemporary Pop Star

05. Very Special Kidnapping Episode

06. The UFO Episode

07. Lie Told When Parent Comes To Town Episode

08. Episode Where Someone Ends Up On A Ledge

09. Episode Where Someone Gets Amnesia

10. Locked In Freezer Clip Show

11. Backdoor Pilot for Spinoff That Will Only Last A Fraction As Long As This Show’s Run

12. Episode Where Fan Favorite Supporting Character Leaves Show

13. Finale Where Final Scene Cleverly References Opening Scene In Pilot

I should do a Kickstarter, where I’d probably burn it off all at once on Netflix, cast Lena Dunham in it, and sit back to collect my accolades.

Links I Loved
Children Around the World Show Their Most Prized Possessions – The Robot’s Pajamas

Retcon – Hooray For the Bad Guy

“The Living Unicorn”.. when Ringling Bros. lied to me. – The Cold Slither Podcast

Have you cast your votes for Slither Madness yet?

This Week’s Posts
“I Wanna Xup, Baby” AKA Anyone Else Remember Xuxa?

This Week’s eBay Auctions

One put on his suit & tie to dust off SNL, while the other was ushered in with white smoke. One danced all over the Pandora’s Box of crowdsourcing, while another felt his heart go “pop!” Only one, however, could have the West Week Ever.

Earlier this week, I was cleaning off the DVR and noticed I’d recorded Music and Lyrics. In my mind, I think I’d assumed it was American Dreamz (a lesser Hugh Grant vehicle spoofing reality shows), so I was never in a rush to watch it. Boy, was I wrong! To boil it down, Hugh Grant basically plays The Other Guy from Wham! who gets a second chance at his career when Not-Ke$ha asks him to write a song for her new album. He can’t nail down the lyrics until his neurotic plant waterer turns out to have a gift for words. Collaboration and romance ensue, yadda yadda yadda. I liked the movie because it kinda swatted away some of the romantic comedy tropes. I was left with a lot of questions that probably would’ve been poorly answered in a Nora Ephron film. I’ve always loved Hugh Grant, even if he does always play the same character. As the cool kids say, he “could get the D”. Well, on second thought, let’s strike that from the record. My rep is bad enough as it is. Anyway, his West Week Ever status was solidified the moment the movie started with this video:

I’m a big fan of parody done with heart. This video is PERFECT. From the actual song, to Hugh’s directional nod at the lyric “Let’s go”. The last time I’d seen something this reverential of 80s pop was the first Robin Sparkles video, and then it was all downhill after they repeated it without instilling any heart to the endeavor. Sure, the other people in the running may have had more real time success this week, but most of that involved stuff that made me mad. This video clip, however, brought me nothing but sheer joy all week. And since it’s my site, and I discovered it only this week, that’s why Hugh Grant had the West Week Ever.

Category : Uncategorized

Tags : 80s, Comics, Cornell, LOEB, Music, Pop, Social Media, Television, West Week Ever

7 Comm

22nd Feb2013

West Week Ever – 2/22/13

by Will

Today in Black History, Aunt Jemima discovered Uncle Ben’s affair with Mrs. Butterworth, thus splitting Black America’s first power couple.

Last weekend I had the pleasure of finally meeting Twitter pal LamarRevenger! Lindsay and I were doing a belated Valentine’s Day of wineries and antique shops in Hershey, PA, which put us in Lamar’s back yard. We met up at Crossroads Antique Mall, and had a great time exploring the place. I love meeting you online folks, and Lamar put me at 3. Who’ll be #4?! Only time will tell!

It was announced this week that game developer Harmonix will stop releasing new music for Rock Band by April (The Robot’s Pajamas has a nice writeup about it). I haven’t touched my Rock Band games in a good 2 years, but this announcement still saddens me. You see, Rock Band was very important when I first started dating my wife. Her roommate had the game, so she spent a lot of her free time getting up to expert in most of the songs. When we met, I’d never played the game, so the formative days of our relationship consisted of her schooling me in interactive classic rock. There was a band featured in the game called Bang Camaro; I claim to be a music aficionado, but I still can’t tell you one of their songs. Anyway, we thought it was the dumbest, yet funniest name, so we dubbed ourselves “Sex Corvette” in the game. Whenever I needed to practice on my own, I had my own side project that I called “Fornication Wagon”. It’s been years since Sex Corvette and Fornication Wagon went out on the road. With this announcement, I think it might be time to get the bands back together. Ya know, for old times sake.

Speaking of music, last week, Shezcrafti and I discovered our shared love of Ace of Base. No, I’m not talking about “All That She Wants” or “The Sign”. Get out of here with that Top 40 shit! I’m talking DEEP cuts Ace of Base, from the albums that most Americans ignored. Sure, everyone owned The Sign (Happy Nation, for you international folks) but their second album, The Bridge, was one of THE BEST POP ALBUMS of the 90s. I’m not even lying. I’m pretty sure I wrote a tumblog about it awhile back, but “Ravine” is one of the most beautiful ballads of the past 20 years. It’s even more impactful when you learn it was written in the wake of a knife attack from a stalker. It turns out we both own all the AoB albums, including the recent one with the new girls. All this time, I thought I was alone, but I was wrong. I’m so, so glad I was wrong!

People seem to be losing their shit over news that Michael Bay cast Megan Fox in the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. I say “so what?” Think of today’s “starlets”: Miley Cyrus, Vanessa Hudgens, Alexa Vega? You’d hate all of them, and it ain’t like Emma Stone or Jennifer Lawrence is gonna ruin her career with this on her resume. I mean, it’s not like this is the straw that broke the camel’s back. People have hated Bay since he took on the Transformers franchise. The same people who are saying “I’m fucking done with this Turtles movie now!” are the same who were supposedly done when it was announced he was helming it. At what point do you just walk away and stop caring? To complain now, is akin to going “Oh man, Hitler’s killing blacks now?!” Yeah, I invoked the dreaded internet use of Hitler. Anyway, no one ever said this was a movie for old school fans. One thing I’ve never really gotten about TMNT fandom is that the 80s kids think it’s theirs. That’s somewhat true, but there’s also the 2003 run, as well as the new Nick run. Turtles belong to several generations now, and this could just be its introduction to a newer generation. As much as people hate Bay, a lot of folks were paying money to see those “Bayformers” movies, so I guess this movie is for them. It’s not for you. I’m amazed at people’s inability to just say “You know, I don’t think this is for me” and walk away. It took me a while to learn that, but it’s much less stressful!

I hate to be some hipster/old fogey, but I’m tired of the media’s ability to scare us about some shit, and then just move on to the next thing. We’re never told whether or not these things have been cured/stopped/defeated. It’s just on to the next crisis. Here’s a list of things I’ve been instructed to fear in my lifetime:

Radon

Acid Rain

Old Men With Candy

Carbon Monoxide

Mad Cow Disease

Bird Flu

SARS

Super Gonorrhea

To my knowledge, none of these problems have been “solved”, but ain’t nobody talking about them anymore! Did the Super Gonorrhea take out the candy-bearing child molesters? I NEED ANSWERS!

This has been a bittersweet week online. It started great, with me and Lamar meeting up. Then, once I got home, all the crazies came out. I found myself leaving a bunch of toy centric facebook groups because of one bad apple. I’m not sure if you’re all “in the know”, but there are shit tons of toy groups on facebook for trading and buying toys. The problem, however, is that the same people are in ALL of these groups. I talked about it a bit more in-depth in this post. Basically, some one gets accused of screwing over someone, gets kicked out, and then forms his own group. Well, I joined these things to drum up attention for Will’s World of Wonder, but those people are either trying to lowball you or get something for free. Over time, I came to realize it wasn’t worth the hustle over there, but I stayed on in case some good deal came up. The other day, I posted an item I was selling, and specifically said “PM offers”. Some guy decided to start asking questions on the actual post. “How much did you pay for it? Is it the same scale as Soundwave?” At first, I indulged him, but he finally signed off with “OK, just checking”. So, after wasting a bit of my time, I told him “That was a lot of questions for ‘just checking’.” He proceeds to tell me not to get “butthurt about a $20 toy” and that “there are more important things in life to worry about.” I replied that I wasn’t “butthurt”, but didn’t appreciate him using me as his Google research stand-in, ON MY THREAD. Then, he and some other guys start making a side deal, again, ON MY THREAD. Any group with a halfway decent admin would’ve stopped that (trust me, facebook toy group admins are like the goddamned Gestapo. It’s like they were all the last kids picked for sports or some shit), but no one stepped in. When I called him on it, again, he tells me to “stop getting butthurt”. I told him he was being an asshole, and his condescension wasn’t needed. Eventually, like I pointed out above, I realized “ya know, this isn’t for me.” I muttered a “fuck this noise”, and quit the group. I pride myself on not being a “quitter”, but sometimes you just need to realize when something isn’t worth your time and effort. Work smarter and not harder. The decent people I met in those groups are already facebook or twitter friends, so I didn’t lose them. I just cut off the folks who were, apparently, leaving me “butthurt”. Ain’t nobody got time for that!

I’m such a jerk – last week, I forgot to include the link for my guest spot on the Cereal Killas episode of The Cold Slither Podcast. You’re all smart, savvy folks, so I’m sure you found it. If not, you can listen to it here.

Also, the Black Dynamite ep of the Traumatic Cinematic Show has gone live, and you can listen to me and the guys here.

This Week’s Post

Thrift Justice: The One With All The Books

Before I wrap things up this week, I wanted to point out UnderScoopFire’s State of the Site/Show Address podcast that went up this week. I love these kinds of posts, as I love to know what’s going on in the minds of the folks I admire. Plus, they serve as a good time to take stock of my own stuff. I’m really happy where I am in regards to podcasts. I always kinda wanted to be a “professional guest”, and I’ve had the honor of being invited on some great shows, having fun discussions with new folks. I never thought I’d get to this point so quickly, but I’m having a lot of fun. As for non-audio stuff, though, I’m still not where I want to be. There are folks out there who can get 10 comments on a post without even posting a link to social media. That is the definition of a “destination site”, and I think that’s where we’d all like to be. I’ve been doing this TEN YEARS. There are more blogrolls I could be in. There are more of your friends who could know about me. I’m harassing Twitter timelines with my links, and I still don’t know if it makes a difference. Hell, maybe folks have learned how to say “Yeah, that’s just not for me”. Who knows? Anyway, it just gives me something to think about. See ya next week!

Category : Uncategorized

Tags : 80s, Books, Movies, Music, Pop, Relationships, Social Media, Television, Video Games, West Week Ever

7 Comm

04th Feb2013

Black History Month is Back-ack-ack-ack-ack-ack-ack-ack!

by Will

Yeah, I’m being lazy. I should’ve spent the last year coming up with 28 more of these to further bolster my “legacy” or what have you. Then again, we got the same black president again, so why not the same Black History Month post? As they say in publishing, this is a good opportunity for me to “mobilize my backlist”. Hey, at least I slaved (oops!) over that beautiful collage up there!

If this is your first February following me, this is all new to you. If not, sit back and enjoy one of my favorite posts to write. You know the drill: there’s one per day, and I try to tweet them out each day. Still, some days I get lazy, so it might help to print out the PDF at the end of this post.

IT’S BLACK HISTORY MONTH, Y’ALL!!!

1) Today In Black History: Arnold & Willis Jackson became the first poor black kids adopted by a rich white person

2) Today in Black History: Jimmie Walker left his lucrative career in demolitions to become a comedian.

3) Today in Black History, The Eastland School for Girls admitted Dorothy “Tootie” Ramsey as its first black student

4) Today in Black History, the Fresh King of Bel Air was assassinated. The throne remained empty until a long lost son was found in 1990.

5) Today in Black History, Kunta Kinte is accepted into the space program, and it only costs him his eyesight.

“Wasn’t my foot ENOUGH?!”

6) Today in Black History, the black girl became the Yellow Ranger, which was only slightly less offensive.

7) Today in Black History, boxer Cassius Clay was bitten by a radioactive Muslim, transforming him into Muhammad Ali

“I ain’t no damn bean pie!”

8) Today in Black History, the remains of the fabled “Caribbean Queen” were found in the trunk of Billy Ocean’s car.

9) Today in Black History, Devonté Henson became the first black person to scale the Aggro Crag.

10) Today in Black History, a young Tyler Perry put on his first dress. Years later, he would learn that he could be paid for it.

11) Today in Black History, scientists combined the DNA of Morris Day and a pony. The result was Prince.

“Purple Rain” was actually his My Little Pony name.

12) Today in Black History, Mr. T pitied his first fool, which is still illegal in most states.

13) Today in Black History, Lt Uhura inspired a generation of black women to work for the phone company.

14) Today in Black History, DeBarge discovered a place where they could dance the whole night away. It was an abandoned T.J. Maxx

15) Today in Black History, the US Government cracked down on music piracy after Rerun snuck that tape recorder into the Doobie Bros concert

16) Today in Black History, the Negro Hockey League was founded. After everyone had a good laugh, the site was converted to a Popeyes.

17) Today in Black History, Magic Johnson opened the first movie theater chain where blacks were encouraged to yell at the screen

18) Today in Black History, George Washington Carver’s lazier brother, Jamal, invented crunchy peanut butter.

19) Today in Black History, Janet Jackson joined the cast of TV’s “Fame”. Critics declared this would be the lowest point for the Jackson family

20) Today in Black History, Dwayne Wayne discovered a parallel universe – a different world, where Marisa Tomei was the only white person.

21) Today in Black History, Frederick, MD was named for Frederick Douglass – known for his love of Walmart and the white women

22) Today in Black History, Aunt Jemima discovered Uncle Ben’s affair with Mrs Butterworth, thus splitting Black America’s first power couple

They were the royalty of the black breakfast table!

23) Today in Black History, Acorn Avenue -an all-black version of Sesame Street, debuted featuring NeGrover & Big Turkey. It would only air once

24) Today in Black History, 16 Soul Train dancers were killed in what has come to be known as “The Cabbage Patch Massacre of ‘91”

25) Today in Black History, Autobot Rosa Sparks gained attention when she refused to transform into the back of a bus. (Courtesy of @OAFE)

26) Today in Black History, Jesse Jackson formed the R&B group The Civil Rights. They were dropped from Motown before releasing a single.

27) Today in Black History, with Knight Rider & The A-Team, NBC became the first network to devote a night to shows starring black vehicles

28) Today in Black History, Republican scientists proclaimed “Shucky ducky!” as they successfully completed secret cloning experiment, Operation: Chocolate Cheney.

“Remember me? Black pizza guy? 999? No? Huh.”

There ya have it – your crash course to TRUE black history! Share it with your friends, leave it on the windshield of your favorite racist, or simply put it up on your refrigerator. And if you hate Black History Month, don’t worry – we only get 28 days, and 4 of those are gone. Have fun with St. Drinky-Drinks Day next month!

Category : Uncategorized

Tags : 80s, Humor, Motown, Race, Relationships, Social Media, Star Trek, Television

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