WilliamBruceWest.com He's Forgotten More About Pop Culture Than You'll Ever Know…

28Dec/111

2011 In Review: #New52 Pick-Up

 

So, I'm usually not a fan of year-end, best of posts, but I feel that we've experienced enough of the DC Comics' New 52 that it's time to revisit it. As the biggest comic event of the year, you may remember I had some preliminary thoughts on the whole venture. Around that time, the guys over at the PowetCast were nice enough to have me on their show to discuss the whole thing. Now that we're four months in, I've got to say that I'm not really impressed. While DC has gotten more press than they have in years, there really aren't a lot of new ideas here. While a few of the new approaches are interesting, I haven't read anything that warranted a reboot. Also, I don't feel like the right questions are being asked by editorial. They seem to be asking, "How are we going to reintroduce Steel?" Instead of asking "Is there even a need/place for Steel in the new universe?" In short, it's more of the same, on a compressed rollout schedule. As I did before the launch, I thought I'd revisit the launch books and give updated thoughts.

1. Justice League - Sure, I like it so far, but I know that it's only a matter of time before the team is filled with the members of the sure-to be canceled Justice League International. I love the team of Johns and Lee, but we're about a year away from it being the team of Milligan and Kubert. That's not a flagship-worthy creative team to me.

2. Justice League International - This book is more painful than Batman and the Outsiders. I considered it to be the Booster Gold fill-in book, but it's not the same Booster. I'm also buying it because Batman's on the team, but I think I'm done after the first arc is done. As an aside, I really thought it would feature the pre-Flashpoint Booster as he deals with his new surroundings. After all, he was outside the timestream as Flashpoint occurred, and actually popped up in that universe. I've read enough comics to know he should be all kinds of fucked up from that. I don't feel like getting to know a new Booster, even if he turns out to be just like the old one. The old one didn't need replacing.

3. Teen Titans - Done with #3. I just can't bring myself to care. DC can't seem to decide if this is the first incarnation of the Titans. I don't like the characterization of Tim Drake, and I don't like the new characters. Done.

4. Suicide Squad - I'm quite enjoying this. While I'm not keen on New Harley, I like that it uses characters that can afford to have liberties taken with them. Had I stuck with Secret Six I probably wouldn't feel that way, but so far I'm pleased.

5. Action Comics - I think I'm done with #4. Never been a Morrison fanboy, and the pacing is rough. I was trying to be a trooper, but we're getting 2 months of fill-ins before the initial story arc concludes. Look, I was a proponent of the fill-in model, but I expect you to get out the FIRST ARC before employing it. Plus, I had to be honest and ask myself "Am I a Superman guy?" Like, will I honestly be reading the book in a year? Unlike Batman, I'm not gonna just buy Superman books out of habit. If it's bad now, it's only going to get worse. Done. Steel introduction this early on? Double done.

6. Superman - I actually find this one interesting, yet it's so damn verbose. Too many damn words. I swear Claremont is ghostwriting this thing. While I know there's a 5 year gap between the events of Action and those here, this does not feel like the same Superman, and that's a problem. The one in Action doesn't even feel like an inexperienced version of this guy. Im hanging on, but will probably drop after the first arc.

7. Superboy - Done with #2. Like with Teen Titans, I just don't care. This isn't my Kon-El, and I don't care enough to get to know him. The Caitlin Fairchild angle almost kept me on, but that just forced it into another unnecessary direction - Gen13 rehash. I'm not saying that's where it's definitely going, but I read the whole "genetically-engineered teen turns against clandestine maker" story back in '94, and it was called Gen13. Pass.

8. Supergirl - never picked it up. This is, what, her fourth incarnation since COIE? Not interested.

9. Batman - look, I like Snyder, but I don't get everyone raving over Capullo. All of his white males look the same - the only difference is height. I've read online interviews where he has said the similarities between Bruce and the new politician guy are deliberate, but that doesn't explain why they look like the same characters he drew in Haunt. He makes Tony Daniel look talented.

10. Detective Comics - Speaking of Daniel, he doesn't suck nearly as much as he used to. I honestly enjoyed his opening arc, even if it felt like he was playing with Morrisonian concepts that he didn't fully understand. He's showing growth, and that's admirable.

11. Batman: The Dark Knight - Why am I buying this book? It isn't very good. This is what happens when you promote an artist to writer just to keep him from jumping ship to Marvel. Every iconic character has a superfluous book, and this is Batman's. This is the Legends of the Dark Knight/Batman Chronicles/Batman Confidential of the New 52. It's for those people who'll buy anything with Batman in it, though it really doesn't move the needle in terms of adding value to the character. I like Finch's art, but I see myself dropping this soon. In my 52 Thoughts post, I said that Paul Cornell or Peter Tomasi would be on it in a year. Well, I was close, as Paul Jenkins is already on as co-writer.

12. Batgirl - I'm pretty much done after the first arc. I thought she was better as Oracle, and what I've read hasn't made me feel like Barbara Gordon-as-Batgirl is even needed. Why not keep Cassie or Steph? The Bat timeline is the most confusing of the relaunch, since we don't know which events still happened. That said, I just haven't enjoyed this. Call me when she's paralyzed again.

13. Batwoman - This book is the comic equivalent of a beautiful woman with no personality. I like looking at it, but the story has done absolutely nothing for me. Batwoman has been around for about 5 years now, and we know so little about her. This isn't done in a deliberate way, either, like with old school Wolverine. Why is she necessary? Why is she wearing the mantle of The Bat? I've said it before, but I'd appreciate her more as an original character called the Asskicktress than as Batwoman, as we still haven't been given a good reason as to why she chose to be BATwoman. She's not likable. The way DC pushes her sexuality, she comes off as a "diversity hire", but I'll admit that the only thing I do find interesting is her relationship with Maggie Sawyer. I'm a sucker for supporting cast members. Still hanging on...for now.

14. Catwoman - Man, did everyone lose their shit over the sex in #1! I admit it caught me off guard, but other books have shown that New 52 Bruce Wayne does fuck. My major concern is that I hope he used a bat condom! Just like with Action, am I gonna be reading Catwoman a year from now? Probably not, but I'll finish the first arc. Like in the past, I'll come back when they rope her into the first mega Bat crossover.

15. Red Hood and the Outlaws - It started out as everyone hating Whorefire, but that seems to have subsided. I dislike this book for another reason entirely: it's just not what I signed on for. I expected Red Hood and Red Arrow to be anti heroes, doing their own thing. I did not expect mystical mumbo jumbo, and I hate that shit. I don't care about mystical cities and revenge and whatnot. Seriously close to dropping this.

16. Batwing - My God this is a good book! Who knew? I was ready to write it off as another "diversity hire" book. After all, out of all the Batman Inc folks, why did HE get a series? That said, I'm loving it. Sure, Winick worked an AIDS reference in by #4, but I'm thoroughly enjoying it.

17. Nightwing - I feel like I've read this before. Sure, the Haley's angle is new, but it reads just like the last Nightwing series, when he moved to NYC. All Nightwing series begin with him doubting himself and finding his confidence. He usually finds it just in time for the next reboot/relaunch. Finishing the arc, but not impressed.

18. Batman and Robin - After Morrison left, this felt like an unnecessary flagship - like when Whedon left Astonishing X-Men. That said, I'm loving this new direction. This is where you get the emotional beats of Bruce getting to know the son he never knew he had. Some may find it unnecessary, but these are the interactons I've wanted to see since Batman R.I.P.

19. Birds of Prey - Dropped it after #1. Just like with Booster and the Titans, I have no desire to get to know this new team. Don't need a new Dinah. Don't care to know Starling. I know some of my online friends love it, but it's just not worth the $3 to me.

20. Green Lantern - I've said this in other places, but #1 felt more like a season premiere rather than a series premiere. What I mean by that is that it was clear that events had occurred prior to the issue - important events. While it was accessible, I couldn't help but feel I was missing something. Considering I'd read the Sinestro Corps War, as well as Blackest Night, that's not a good feeling. I am, however, enjoying the focus on Sinestro. I've never truly seen him as a villain, so I'm enjoying this spotlight on him. That said, I'm probably gone after this arc. GL is written in an almost Marvel way, where one event leads into the next, so jumping off may not be as clean a break as I'm hoping.

21. Aquaman - Really loving it. I'll chalk it up to Johns's writing, but I'm enjoying it so far. I can see myself dropping it eventually, but no time soon.

22. Wonder Woman - Dropped with #1. Chiang's art is gorgeous, but I don't know what the fuck is going on. Mythology is not my bag, as I learned most of it from Hercules and Xena. I just couldn't follow it. I know there are folks out there who eat that stuff up, and more power to 'em. Just not for me.

23. Flash - I'm actually enjoying this arc. I like Manuapul's art, and the story is pretty engaging. That said, I still don't really care about Barry Allen. This is even after Rebirth and Flashpoint. Just don't care. So, I can see myself dropping this after the first arc.

24. Blue Beetle - Dropped with #1. Not in the mood for a new introduction, as it feels like we JUST met Jaime. Also, I get that he's a Latin character, but the book is too in your face with the Spanish. It's off-putting in a way. I hope he opens a lot of doors for minority characters, but he's not for me.

25. Fury of Firestorm - My God this was a piece of shit. Dropped with #1. It's such a cliched mess. I expected the comic adaptation of City Guys, but I expected better dialogue. This needed to happen, though, just to show that Gail can and does write shit every now and then. I know that's a controversial notion to some, but she's human, so she's capable of error. She sucked on Gen13, she sucked on Wonder Woman, she sucked on The Atom, and she sucked on this. Not everything she writes turns to gold. This was a horrible, horrible book. DC seems to think Firestorm deserves to be represented in some fashion, but they just can't wrap their brains around the proper way to do it.

26. Mr Terrific - Dropped with #3. It seemed like most people were reading because they heard Karen Starr was in it. Then, they lost their shit when she turned out to be his fuck buddy rather than Power Girl. While I don't claim to know a ton about Mr Terrific, this ain't the guy I remember. They want him to be too many things. He's black Tony Stark, with a hint of Reed Richards. He's so smart, yet such a disaster. He's about to lose his company, he travels to microdimensions, and he's visited by his supposedly dead son from the future. Plus, the pacing is just all wrong. He proceeds to tell his origin as post-coital pillow talk. It comes off like, "Thanks for the pussy. So, let me tell you about my dead wife." I just don't care anymore. I think folks are now reading it just hoping for clues as to where the new JSA will come from. Since DC has pretty much said that this is where you'll find clues, I don't expect the book to go anywhere anytime soon. I just won't be along for the ride.

27. Static Shock - Dropped with #3. I really wanted to support this book. Fun character, Scott McDaniel art. That said, like Green Lantern, it felt like too much had occurred prior to the series. I don't even know where such events could have occurred, as Static's appearances were irregular pre New 52. It just didn't feel accessible. Started to feel like a chore.

28. Frankenstein - Intriguing ideas, but its tone didn't seem to fit everything else going on in the New 52. I enjoyed the character in Seven Soldiers but that series worked because it was so outside the DCU norm. I might like this as a Vertigo book, but it felt like Hellboy. If I wanted to read a Hellboy clone, I'd just read Atomic Robo. Dropped with #1.

29. Justice League Dark - Interesting, but it's really just Shadowpact borrowing on the clout of the Justice League brand. I don't like magical bullshit, so this was dropped with #1.

30. Blackhawks - a few yrs ago, when they knew they were losing the G.I. Joe license, Devils Due went after the license for The Corps. You know The Corps - they're the G.I.Joe knockoffs that your grandma always gets you 'cause she doesn't know any better. Instead of The Baroness, there's The Contessa. You get the picture. Anyway, they only got out a #0 before they apparently forgot they had the license. Why do I bring this up? It's because this feels like that series. It's DC's Chinese knockoff Joe team. I don't think the DCU needs a Joe team. After all, Checkmate seems to still be in existence. Where does this group fit into things? Tonally, there's just no place for this team, and I don't feel like getting to know them.

And The Rest: OMAC, Captain Atom, Green Lantern Corps, Green Lantern: Emerald Knights, Red Lanterns, Hawk & Dove, LOSH, Legion Lost, Deathstroke, Grifter, Voodoo, Stormwatch, All-Star Western, Men at War, Animal Man, Swamp Thing, Demon Knights, Resurrection Man, I, Vampire, Green Arrow, DC Universe Presents, Savage Hawkman - skipped, no interest

DC also decided to slip a few miniseries out amongst the 52 ongoings. Lately, I have a "no mini" policy, as they rarely add any value to a franchise. If it turns out to be important, I can always get the trade. So, I skipped Penguin: Pain & Prejudice because, well, it's a book about Penguin! I also skipped The Shade because, while the Starman Omnibus series taught me that James Robinson is an incredible writer, with an incredible take on The Shade, it simultaneously taught me that I have no desire to read those characters outside of collected editions. So, I'll skip it for now. There's some scuttlebutt that sales are low and the series may not reach completion, but that's just a risk I'm willing to take. I gave Huntress a chance, but I'm done with #2. People online are raving over this thing, and I don't have a clue as to why. Sure, Marcus To's art is beautiful, but the glacial pacing would shame even Marvel editors. It's going nowhere fast, and I'd just rather save the money.

So, it seems like I just had a lot of bile to spew, but there are some bright spots: Aquaman, most of the Bat books, Justice League, and others. The bottom line, however, was that these results could've been achieved from a creator shuffle and NOT a full-scale revamp. It was GREAT PR, but that's only going to last so long. At this point, the sales have pretty much settled down, with Marvel again taking the lead market share. This tactic may have attracted new fans, but at the cost of old school fans. I'll admit that I don't like change. I'm a curmudgeon like that, but I'll still give things a chance. I'll give credit where credit is due, so I feel there are some bright spots out there for DC. As a whole, however, I don't think there's enough evidence to call this a rousing, long-term success. What I can say is that DC closed out 2011 with a highest profile than they've had since Superman died. At this rate, they'll be the popular girl again by 2032.

 

22Nov/114

Off To See The Wizard…

So, in an effort to sort out my junk room, I decided that I could probably start with my longbox of Wizard publications. I quickly tired of being reminded of Wetworks and Vampirella books, so I decided to focus on my issues of Toyfare instead. For those not really "in the know", Toyfare was a monthly magazine published by the fine folks who also gave the world Wizard: The Guide to Comics (which later rebranded itself as a "Men's Pop Culture Magazine", whatever that means). Anyway, Wizard used to highlight toys, but as the industry ramped up, there was too much to report than the meager 2 pages in Wizard allowed, so the toy focus was spun off into its own magazine. At its best, Toyfare gave an in-depth look at fan favorite toy lines. At its worst, it was a glorified toy catalog. To be honest, "glorified" doesn't even fit, as regular toy catalogs at least listed prices - something Toyfare couldn't be bothered to do in many cases. Anyway, while flipping through the pages, a few thoughts came to mind, and I figured I'd share them here.

-What happened to Palisades Toys? I was never a Muppets fan, but I could respect that they truly paid attention to detail in making those Muppets toys.

-Diamond Select should've been run out of business for those horrible Serenity figures. I've actually said this to DST staffers. They like to change the subject when that line is brought up. I'm no Serenity fan, but I know a slap in the face when I see it.

-Did Hasbro ever present a use for those Jedi Master points?

-Is bbi still around? I remember they used to make those awesomely detailed solider dolls. Sometimes they'd use a Hollywood likeness without ever really securing the rights. So, instead of a Saving Private Ryan doll, it'd be a "World War II Officer" with a Tom Hanks face or something.

-An issue from 2002 stated that we had a better shot of seeing a Thundercats revival before a true G.I. Joe renaissance. Huh.

-The book REALLY started to suck when they took a parody approach to the articles. It was cute for the April Fools issue, but for a good  3 years every article in the book was like a Robot Chicken skit. While Robot Chicken showed that approach could be funny, it just gets tired in print.

-I wonder how many of the toys previewed in Toyfare actually NEVER came to fruition. I know for a fact that King of the Hill Series 2 never came out. That was when everyone wanted to jump on the interactive soundchip playset bandwagon, but I guess Toycom realized they couldn't swing it.

-When they started posting the Complete Photo Guides to toy lines, that made the magazine worth the price of admission.

-Near the end, they were just reprinting the movie articles from Wizard, seeing as how comic movies also tended to have toylines.

-I never realized how many 80s Toy Quizzes they published. That magazine survived an extra 3 years just by jerking off fans to fantasies of a M.A.S.K. revival.

Culling the ranks of the Toyfare stash didn't take much time, so then I cam back around for the herculean task of weeding out the Wizards. After all, I had a complete run for about 10 years or so. Along the way, I noticed a few interesting things:

-Where is Christina Z these days? For those not in the know, she was the first woman to make Wizard's Top 10 Writers List, and she used to write Witchblade back when it was all T&A. That way, whenever someone criticized it for being a T&A book, Top Cow could protest, "No, it's written by a woman!" Her last publicized work was Jenna Jameson's Shadow Hunter. I bet that wasn't a T&A book at all...

-Paula Cole should sing "Where have all the CCGs gone?"

-I don't want anything to do with J. Scott Campbell until he finishes Wildsiderz.

-Brandon Jerwa started his career on G.I. Joe with a fan submission

-I had no idea Fox has been using the "Animation Domination" name for its Sunday block since 2005!

-Broken Promises: Bryan Singer's Ultimate X-Men arc

-Broken Promises: Jeff Loeb & J. Scott Campbell's Spidey title

-Broken Promises: When Bendis left The Pulse, he said it would continue with another writer. This didn't happen.

-Yay! Kubert's on Batman. Surely, he'll have a long run on this book!

-In '03, J.Scott Campbell went exclusive with DC. Can anyone name what came from that? Anyone? No, because NOTHING came from that contract.

-Why did they stop making DC Minimates?

-There was actually an article called "Treasured Chests", where they compared the cleavage of Talia Al Ghul, Power Girl, and some Wildstorm chick.

-Kia Asamiya. Yes, I get that everyone had Manga Fever, but WHO THE FUCK PUT HIM ON X-MEN?!!!

-Broken Promises: Loeb & Lee's promised post-Hush 6-issue arc on Batman.

-Before they diversified their brand with Pilot Season, Top Cow was pretty much just, "Hey, kids! Tits!"

-After Chaos went under, Lady Death went to the Code 6 imprint at Crossgen. Now, she's at Avatar, under the Boundless imprint. Lady Death: She Doesn't Just LOOK Like The Village Bicycle!

-There was an Olympic ad in the March 2002 issue. Like, a real brand, and not some e-store or superhero-inspired motorcycle jackets. The actual Olympics, with the athletes and shit. SO out of place.

-Chaos allowed fans to serve as associte editors on books. They spun it as "interaction", but it was really just cheap labor. They went under soon afterwards.

-Only in 2002 could Joe Mad make the Top 10 Most Influential Artists List. He ranked higher than Sienkiewicz!!!

-Broken Promises: Kevin Smith was supposed to take over Amazing Spider-Man, and JMS was to move over to a new book. Smith also said in interviews that he only agreed if they would allow him to reunite MJ and Peter.

-Broken Promises: Kevin Smith was also announced as the writer of a new iteration of Brave and the Bold just before signing an exclusive with Marvel.

-Based on the number of articles, Fathom "returned" about 12 times, but never actually finished.

-Top Cow has been streamlining its universe since 2001, with no end in sight. The first event, Universe, made Tomb Raider & Fathom part of TC canon...interesting, seeing as how both properties are no longer under the TC umbrella.

-Where is Devin Grayson? Did her career end at the same time as her relationship with Mark Waid?

-I think the best depiction of Rogue was the promo image to her Icons mini. She's strong and athletic - believably 19 (which is the age she's rumored to be), and not a busty, 30-something skunkhead.

-Alicia Witt would've been a MUCH better Mary Jane in the Spider-Man movies.

-Instead of rushing to reprint them, Bill Jemas put the Ultimate titles online, 12 pages at a time, to "reward the readers and retailers who jumped on the Ultimate bandwagon at the beginning, thus making those initial issues all the more valuable." - 2001

-In 2001, Poison Elves creator Drew Hayes signed an unprecedented 50 year deal with Sirius Entertainment. While this was clearly a publicity stunt, Drew would pass away in 2007.

-Casting Call: Geoff Johns cast Heath Ledger as Wally West and Owen Wilson as Trickster.

-Issue #110's letter column only featured mail sent by prisoners.

-They used to have a column called "oops..." where they made corrections to previous stories. This was phased out in later years, as the entire magazine became one giant collection of typos and mistakes.

-Broken Promises: Top Cow got the A-Team rights in 2000. Did nothing with them.

-Did America ever get Bandai's handheld system, the WonderSwan Color?

-They were REALLY pushing for Brendan Fraser to be Superman, as they cast him in 3 different Casting Call articles over the years.

-Casting Call: Tom Selleck as Tony Stark, Kevin Sorbo as Thor, and Howie Long as Cap. This would've been fine...in 1990. They also cast Howie Long as Duke in G.I. Joe. Wizard really liked Howie Long.

-The same character was named "Venus", "Sexbot", and finally "Aphrodite IX"

-Finally, back when DC did the whole Superman Red/Blue thing, a few high profile artists were asked to redesign Superman's iconic suit. One of those artists happened to be Jim Lee. Looks like he's been married to that high-collar design for quite some time...

 

 

So, what were your favorite Toyfare/Wizard memories?

9Nov/110

Back & Fourth: The One With The Beyblades

So, just when I was settling into a groove with the whole lunch duty thing, The Man threw a wrench into our plans. You see, the kids used to eat in their classroom, which sort of made them a captive audience. Now, the multipurpose room is being used as a cafeteria for EVERYONE, so now I've got to deal with 5th graders, a different class of 4th graders, and the 4th graders I actually like. Today, I was finally able to sit down and have a tete-a-tete with "my" kids.

First off, an observation: I'm noticing these kids REALLY hate their school lunch. Now, I know the whole general cultural belief is that kids are supposed to hate school lunches, but I'm not used to that experience. I went to private school and our shit was catered. Then, I went to a college that was the home of the #1 dining hall in the country. So, I guess you can say I've been spoiled. I'm not gloating, though; I'm fat, so I got what I had coming to me. Anyway, it just sucks to see all the food these kids throw away. I'm not even one of those "think of the starving kids in China" people. I mean, a lot of these kids are starving, yet, they STILL won't eat it. That's some bad food. When the fat kid throws it away? That's some bad food. I know the stuff doesn't look appetizing. I mean, half the time it looks like someone took a shit in a Kid Cuisine tray. I've eaten some of it, and some of it wasn't that bad, but I can see why the look might turn folks away.

I've also wondered if the kids might hate it just because it's more nutritious than they're used to eating. I am FAR from a bastion of healthy eating, but one chick's lunch was comprised of two glazed doughnuts and a popped bagged of microwave popcorn. Another kid's lunch was about EIGHT Fruit Roll-Ups and some Goldfish. This is the shit that happens when kids have kids! Kinda hard to give your kid a nutritious lunch when you still do most of your shopping at Five Below. Where's the First Lady now?! She fucks up the Happy Meal, but doesn't get to the root of the problem, the food that kids pretty much have to eat - school lunches.

Anyway, I sat down with the kids and we shot the crap. The kids had brought their Beyblades, and I was at a loss. I sold the things for years, but never really knew how they worked. It's like if Scarface had never tried the coke! So, when Mike asked, "Mr. West, do you wanna rip my Beyblade?", I saw it as my chance to finally learn what the whole thing was all about. For you old folks out there, let me just break it down for ya: "Beyblades" is just a fancy marketing word that means "fancy tops". Ya know the shit your great grandpa played with on the Titanic? Yeah, those things. I'm just kinda surprised their still this popular. Shouldn't they have been unseated by Bakugan? Has the Era of the Bakus gone?

I wasn't gonna settle for kids being excited about an almost 10 year old toyline! No, I decided to take it to the next level. You see, there'd been some Twitter discussion about what might be The Toy of the Holiday Season this year. There's usually an Elmo, and some other thing soccer moms are willing to shank each other over. So, I decided to take it to the kids. They're at the "one foot out of the door of toys, one foot into the world of console games" age, so they're the perfect audience. I also told them that they couldn't name video games, so no Arkham City, Modern Warfare, Uncharted, etc. So, what did they answer? Beyblades! All of them. Really?! I kept asking about Bakugan. Seriously, I've asked them about Bakugans so much that you'd think I worked for Bakugan marketing, but those kids simply don't give a shit about balls that open up into weeblesque "beasts". No, today's kids love the shit out of fancy tops. Sharpen your shivs, moms!

8Nov/114

Thrift Justice – Lois Lane Meets The TMNT

Last weekend saw the final Civitan Flea Market of the year. As I've written in the past, this neighborhood sale is GREAT for finding collectible treasures. This sale was no different, as I made some pretty sweet deals. Let's take a closer look at some of the booty I scored.

Now, when I get to any sale, I try to pace myself but I have a lot of trouble with that whole process. Whether it's a comic con or a yard sale, I tend to blow my wad too soon, and then end up spending more judiciously as the day goes on. The Civitan market takes place in a 5-level parking garage, and you enter from the top level. I didn't know what wonders might lurk in the depths below, but before I could descend I immediately found myself rifling through a box of Silver Age comics.

I've gotten to a point in my life where I try not to buy old comics unless they're just basically giving them away. Anything under $1 is fair game to me. After all, most folks think their stuff is worth way more than it is, and most of those stories have been retconned 3 times over by now. I do, however, have an affinity for Silver Age DC books. If you pick up Marvel stuff from that era, it's just full of hyperbole and cave drawings, but old DC books were actually...fun. Due to a magnet set that we have on our refrigerator, I've gained an appreciation for Lois Lane comics. Honestly, I feel like DC writers sat around and wondered, "How can make Lois a huge bitch this month?" Those old bastards clearly had some run-ins with the wrong kind of women, and seemed to have an ax to grind. That series is CRAZY, whether she's tricking Superman into a paternity suit or changing her race to be black for a day. I picked up a few some months back, and I found 13 more on this particular day. This batch even included the issue I mentioned where she's black for a day! I actually already have a copy of that one, but I know I'll probably end up gifting it to someone. I told the old lady manning the booth that the books would be going to a good home, for a little boy who loves comics (it's secretly ME! Muhuhahaha!). She cut me a pretty good deal, as I paid $25 for these, as well as the comics you'll see below.

These are some other silver age books I picked up. Back when I first got into comics, I used to buy these grab bags from my local shop that were just FULL of crap. I didn't know any better then, but it would have comics for toylines, like Visionaries, as well as old All-Star Squadron and issues of canceled series. I remember getting issues of The Secret Society of Super Villains and Kobra, and loving them. So, I had to jump on the issues you see here. I probably already own that Brave and the Bold (I bought a bunch of them at a con a few months back that I still haven't processed), but I'll buy any cheap Batman comics.

Not quite "Silver Age", these are some 80s era comics I got. Again, more cheap Batman. I believe that's the final issue of Ted Kord's series. It says "The Final Adventure", but that could just be comic hyperbole. There was a time when you could always count on Superman to have dynamic covers, and this is a great example of that. He's begging, in an alley! How can you pass that up? I probably have that issue of X-Men, but I'm a sucker for 80s Uncanny. The way I see it, the $25 was for the Lois Lane books, as $2 an issue was a great deal; the rest of this stuff was just a bonus.

The series that wouldn't die! Fans brought this thing back to life more than I can remember, but that must say something about its quality. I've never read Spider-Girl, but I was always curious. Plus, it'll give me more Adventures West Coast material. I'm not sure if this is the very first collected edition, but it does include issues 0-8. Plus, I got it for a dollar, so it's not like I could shake a stick at that!

Let me clear something up - I am nowhere near a "gamer". My newest system is the PS2, and I use it primarily as a DVD player. Lindsay and I had a Rock Band/Guitar Hero phase, but I don't really get into games. I do, however, pick up games when I find them A) interesting and B) cheap as dirt. Somewhere along the line, I forgot that I'm in a relationship, so the concept of "downtime" doesn't really exist anymore. Still, in my mind, I have this vision of playing video games all night, while drinking Smirnoff Ice. When I come across a cheap game, I think to myself, "Would I enjoy playing this game, while sipping on a cool malt beverage?" I didn't even know this game existed, and it appears to be the precursor to the popular Red Dead Redemption. The guy sold it to me for about $3, so that was enough for me. I'll probably never play it, but if I ever feel like reenacting a Western, at least I'll have it.

I'll admit that this was an impulse buy. While I collect Batmobiles, I've passed on this thing at many a thrift store. I found it at a booth that usually has a lot of great comic stuff. Remember the comic posters and Age of Apocalypse cover from the last flea market post? Yeah, that booth. Anyway, at that time, they'd assured me that they would have a ton of comic stuff at this sale, as it's the last one of the year. I went just looking for them. I get there, and this is pretty much all they had. It had a sticker on the hood, guaranteeing me that "it works". I can't even verify that at this time, but it's a big-ass, battery operated Batmobile monster truck. Yeah, I'm kind of ashamed, so let's move on.

So, I'm wandering through the aisles, and I find myself at a dead end, with this TMNT Lair playset sitting on a table. I start looking at it, as I've never really seen one of these in person. I didn't really pay much attention to TMNT, as that was the incarnation for kids of the '00s. For me, I only deal in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Show some respect, and spell that shit out! Anyway, as I inspecting it, the seller comes by and asks, "Would you like that big thing?" I proceeded to tell her that my fiancee would kill me, but she keeps on pressing. She tells me that it wuld be 50% off. That's when I see the price tag: $3.00. I ask her, "So, wait, you mean this would only be $1.50?!" She says that is correct. Well, now you understand why I currently own a Turtle Lair playset. Back when the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Sewer Playset came out, my mom gave me a choice: I could either get it OR get the G.I.Joe General. I was more into our American heroes, so I chose the latter. The General's sitting out in our shed, as I get to fill that void with this newer Turtle playset.

So, there ya have it. I'll miss the Civitan Flea Market, but you better believe I'll be there on the first Saturday of next April! Coming soon, I've got another installment of Thrift Justice:YSE, where we'll talk about some of my greatest yard sale FAILS.

4Nov/115

Best of the West #2: Toys “R” US Aisle 6D Sign

image

So, I'm not sure if anyone remembers, but I created "Best of the West" to showcase the jewels of my personal collection. I only posted under that heading once, and that was to discuss my autographed Obama Spidey comic. I kinda got preoccupied with yard sales, and let's face it - a collect a lot of shit! Anyway, I know my pal Mike enjoyed this feature, and Brian over at Cool and Collected recently asked when we'd see the West Collection. I don't know when I'll ever get around to a full collection post, so the Best of the West segments will have to do for now.

Today's item is a quirky one. If it's your first time reading about me, I worked for Toys "R" Us in a part time capacity for 10 years. It was my first job out of high school, and I just couldn't tear myself away. I fought on the beaches of the Great Gundam War of '01. I waged the storms of the Pokemon Tsunami. I tickled many an Elmo, and I laughed in the face of the fabled NeoPet epidemic. We lost a lot of good men out there.

Before working at TRU, I thought I had a love for toys. I thought I loved toys of all shapes and sizes. Just say the word "toy" and my face would light up. About 2 weeks into my TRU career, I began to realize that I didn't love "toys". I loved "action figures". You see, when you're a customer, you just go right in to the aisle that holds the stuff you like. All the other stuff is just part of the TRU obstacle course. Fuck a bike! If you're serious about cycling, you ain't buying a bike at TRU. And I didn't give a shit about car seats and Pack 'N Plays. No, I just loved aisles 6D and 7D - home of the action figures. Sadly, when you work for the store, you're forced to worry about those aforementioned departments. It didn't matter to me. They could assign me to diapers, bikes, or cart duty - I always found my way back to those 2 aisles.

Now, let me give you a little retail history lesson. In TRU's heyday, it was essentially a supermarket for toys. During the late 90s, it was decided that it had too much of a warehouse feel. So, aisles were partially done away with, as the company migrated towards the "racetrack" layout. In this new floorplan, the guest would follow a winding path around the store, with different "worlds" situated outside the track. There was Boys World, Girls World, Wheel World, etc. Supervisors were now "World Leaders", and the whole thing was supposed to make the shopping experience flow more easily for guests. Only important stores got the full floor plan. My store wasn't that important, so it still retained some of the old signage.

Then, the day after Christmas 2005, old Geoffrey decided that he didn't need us in his empire any longer. It wasn't too bad, though. Let me tell you this: there are few things more exciting than working for a store going through liquidation. No, seriously! I know some former Borders and Filene's employees might disagree, but there are no rules, and you no longer have corporate oversight. We hosted fake radio shows over the PA system, some chick wished cancer on my Asst.Manager because he couldn't process a return. Oh, and a mentally challenged guy came in and started masturbating in the R-Zone! I can't remember the last time my life was that exciting. But the one thing that remained was my love of action figures. It was that love that brought me there in the first place. So, as we were closing the place down, I grabbed the sign for aisle 6D. What I love about it is that it was promoting lines that weren't even really hot at the time, but I collected everything on this sign. If it had Ghostbusters, Batman, and Star Trek, you'd have my toy resume.

So, here it sits in my "office". Before taking it, I had no clue how heavy it would be. It's got to be a good 50 lbs, which is why it's just leaning against the wall. I can't hang that thing, and I'm amazed we've never heard of them falling and killing some kid. It's big, heavy, and doesn't really tie the decor of the room together, but it's my past. Batman has a giant penny, and I've got the sign to aisle 6D. After 10 years of lying about truck shipments, helping lost grandmas, and selling D batteries to lonely single moms, this is my trophy.

11Oct/112

Thrift Justice – Strapped For Cash

I've got a great haul from the weekend to share with you, but I'm still writing that up. In the meantime, feast your eyes on some great stuff I've picked up recently. Let's jump right in, shall we?

First up, we've got these tabloid-sized specials, know as History of Comics Vols 1 & 2. These were created by fan favorite comic artist Jim Steranko, and they used to be advertised as mail-away items in old comics from the 70s (I guess they were also sold in book stores, but I don't really know much about the 70s books tore scene). Anyway, from what I've ben able to find out, the versions I got are known as Volume 1B and Volume 2B, since they don't have the title written on the cover. What makes this buy even more special, however, is the fact that my copy of Volume 1 is signed and numbered by renowned Italian filmmaker, Frederico Fellini. You see, he wrote the foreword to the series, as he had been a big fan of Steranko. Now, do I have a certificate of authenticity? No, but I don't really care. If I need to, I can just take it to Gold & Silver Pawn and have Frankenstein Randy Travis do some handwriting analysis on the signature.

 

I love the Power Rangers. Now that we got that out of the way, I've been tracking down old morphers like it's my job. I'm not even looking for them, but they keep popping up at thrift stores. I stopped buying most PR toys about 15 years ago (which was still too late in the minds of most people), but I used to really be into the Zords and morphers. Hands down, Power Rangers morphers were my favorite role playing toys. These used to retail anywhere from $10-15, but I've been finding these for roughly $1 each. Still operational and everything. To top it off, they're models that came out after I stopped buying, so I've been able to restart my collections where I left off. What you see here, from left to right, is the Time Force Morpher, Ninja Storm Wind Morpher, some kinda bootleg Dino Thunder Morpher, and the Overdrive Tracker.

My love of Batman is pretty well-known. I thought I had stumbled upon something awesome with this lunch box, as the date on the decal is 1982. It certainly looked pre-Super Powers, which would place it before 1985. That said, the decal doesn't jibe with the rest of the package. You see, the latch is incorrect. I stopped getting these lunch boxes in the very early 90s, at which point they were still using a metal latch. The latch on this one is completely plastic, placing it later in the decade. Still, aside from all that Pawn Stars babble you didn't ask for, it was still a nice find for 99 cents!

This is Max Ray, from the 80s cartoon The Centurions. I've been on the lookout for these because, just like Radiohead albums, you never see them at yards sales and thrift stores. This figure was pretty incomplete, as he didn't come with any of the accessories that fit into the holes situated all over his body. Despite all that, I'm still pretty happy to own this guy, as he always reminded me of Tony Stark.

 

I always told myself that if I ever won the lottery, I'd buy one of those replica wrestling belts that costs $300. I'd wear it to church, court, to the bathroom. Don't care. Referred to as "The Strap" by the professionals, I'd always have it slung over my shoulder (no one ever wears it as an actual belt!). Well, I've yet to win the lottery, so I don't have one of those belts. I never wanted to pay the $15 for the crappy kids version at retail, but I had no problem paying 99 cents for one! The belt that I chose was the Intercontinental Title, and I did so for a reason. You see, everybody wants to be The Champ. Everyone thinks they're Triple H, or John Cena or The Rock. I'm honest with myself. If I joined the WWE tomorrow, I'd NEVER get a shot at the WWE Title. I could, however, get the Intercontinental belt. That was the belt you used to get for beating Goldust or The Mountie. That's more my speed.

I hated leaving these guys behind, as I think I'm probably America's biggest straight male boyband fan. That said, I didn't want these at $10 apiece. I'm pretty sure they didn't cost that much when they were originally offered by Best Buy (they were promo items), and 'NSYNC merchandise isn't really on the rise. So, I had to say bye bye bye to them. Yup, I just said that.

 

Thanks for tuning in, and come back on Thursday for a special Thrift Justice surprise!

6Oct/117

Thrift Justice – The Case of the Three Jokers

 

So, last weekend the rain was too much of a nuisance for any of the local yard sales to take place, but I was still jonesing for a treasure hunt. That meant that I had to find someplace indoors, which led me to the Civitan Flea Market. Located in Arlington, VA, the Civitan Flea Market occurs on the first Saturday of each month, from the months of April to November. I checked it out for the first time a few months back, and I liked what I saw. Since it takes place in a multilevel parking garage, it's open rain or shine. Basically, a vendor pays about $20 to set up in a parking space, and you're left to just make the rounds. From what I could tell, vendors don't seem to have "regular" spots, so I walked around to see if I noticed any of the good vendors from my first trip. But we know you're not here for the words - you're here for the haul!

Recently, I've been buying up all the cheap Calvin & Hobbes books I run across. Here's a little confession: I really hated C&H up until about 2 months ago. I know most of my peers fondly look back on the series, but I just never "got" it. I think I had the misfortune of always tuning in when it was one of the, for lack of a better word, "preachier" strips, so I just always felt it was overrated. That said, as someone who had a myriad of imaginary friends, this series was pretty much right up my alley. So, I found a collection at a yard sale a few weeks back, which has led to the acquisition of 2 more collections.

As a fanboy, this is one of those things that I guess I'm expected to have read. I'd never really come across it, and it always seemed a little too much of a Sandman gateway book anyway. Since I'm neither a cutter, nor do I work at Hot Topic, I always shied away. Well, on this particular day, I guess I was kinda desperate to buy a comic, and this was the best I could do. The vendor wanted $3 for it, which I felt was kinda steep. Then, she told me that it was for her grandson's college fund. I couldn't let the guy suffer through student loans as I had. I forked over the three Georges. Then, I asked her where he was thinking of going for college. She replied, "Well, he's only 16 months old right now." Huh. All I could say was, "Well, I guess you've got a couple more sales ahead of you."

I'd seen this book during one of the Borders liquidation sales, but couldn't bring myself to pay what they were asking at 25% off. This, however, is not only an advance reader's copy but it was also a quarter! I'm a sucker for preview and promo items, so this was just what the doctor ordered. The seller had placed a sticky note on it, saying it was "Perfect for fans of Family Guy and The Daily Show". This might just be an oversell - kinda like how every comedy compared itself to The Hangover for a whole year.

If you dare claim there was a better game for the Nintendo Entertainment System, I will slap you in the face and kidnap your dog.

Stallone was supposed to be in Beverly Hills Cop. They decided they wanted to go in another, more comedic direction. He made this instead. And it was GLORIOUS. I love this movie for the odd product placement. Just imagine: Pepsi paid to have one of their soda fountains shot up in a standoff; a Christmas-themed Toys "R" Us commercial is playing in the background, as Stallone cleans his gun and eats cold pizza!

I wouldn't buy season sets of this show, but I am sucker enough to fall for "The Mike Judge Collection". Sure, it's a best of collection, but it's a multi-disc best of. Plus, I trust Mike Judge. The man went on to give us Office Space and King of the Hill. It'll be worth it if "Teen Talk" is one of the episodes featured. "I'm Lolita, and this here's Tanqueray. You boys wanna go back behind the bleachers and make out?"

And now we come to the reason for this post's title. You may not be able to tell, but this is a deck of Batman Begins playing cards. It was purchased for three reasons:

1) I love Batman

2) I love shiny things/holograms

3) They were $0.25

Now, I knew what I was getting into. The seller told me that someone earlier in the day had counted the cards and that while the deck was missing an Ace, there were THREE Jokers. Now, I'm used to quirky merchandise, so I wondered if it was supposed to have 3 Jokers. I mean, "Joker" kinda means a little more in a Batman-themed card deck, so maybe that was the novelty. Still don't know. I don't even play cards!

This is Tri-Klops. He's from He-Man. That is all.

 

This is Lothor - the "big bad" from Power Rangers Ninja Storm. While he was far from the most menacing villain, I always loved his aesthetic. It's not everyday you see an evil alien ninja in a luchadore mask. The articulation sucks, like most Power Rangers villain figures, but he still looks cool standing around.

A Nightwing doll! How cool is that?! Yes, I'm calling it a "doll" because that's basically what this is. Sure, his body is probably based on a G.I. Joe style body, but he's got a cloth outfit and hard plastic head. He appears to have mustard or something on his chest, but I don't care. Nightwing doll for $1!

I got this from my favorite vendor. Last time, she had some great Batman stuff, and this was just as cool. If you're not a comic person, this is an unused cover from X-Men: Alpha, which kicked off The Age of Apocalypse. This event started just as I was getting into comics, and I haven't experienced something that riveting since. A lot of comic crossovers are cyclical now, but this was actually a fresh idea. Anyway, this appeals to my love of comics, as well as my love of shiny thing/holograms. Oddly enough, I don't remember this as having a holographic cover gimmick; it shipped with a foil cover gimmick, so I wonder if this was some sort of retailer exclusive.

These came from the same vendor as the X-Men cover. It may not be immediately apparent, but the "Vote DC" poster is actually a promotional item from the Marvel vs. DC event. You'll notice Batman hiding Captain America's shield in his cape, as Superman brandishes The Hulk's pants. Below that is a poster for 1991's X-Men #1. I collect comic promo items that are typically only available to retailers, so these 2 posters were great finds.

Well, that's all she wrote for the flea market. Next month is the last one of the season, so I'm pretty sure I'll go check it out one last time. In the meantime, I've got my hands full with the thrift stores. Tune in next time, where I'll show ya some autographed stuff I came across!

28Sep/113

Thrift Justice – I Didn’t Put Away Childish Things

So, the whole Thrift Justice thing started off strong. I told a cute story about a little kid, and I reminded everyone about Stranger Danger. Then, I dropped the ball. Fear not, true believers! I'm back with more words and more treasures. Here's what I got during last night's trip to the thrift store (forgive the pics; couldn't find my camera, so I had to settle for the phone):

As you can see, it was a run of the mill toy haul. Still, let's take a closer look at what I got:

First up, we've got Apocalypse from the Super Hero Squad toyline. Basically, he's the same scale as the Spider-Man and Friends line - Marvel heroes in the Rescue Heroes scale for younger kids. These, along with Mattel's Super Friends, came out while I was working at Toys "R" Us, but I just couldn't bring myself to pay retail for these things that were clearly made for preschoolers. I have no problem, however, paying $1 for them.

Isn't he the cutest little genocidal maniac you ever saw? I think I want to give Apocalypse a hug!

Remember how I mentioned Super Friends? Of course you do - it was just a few inches higher on the page! Anyway, here's Lex Luthor from that line.

And the Spider-Man and Friends line? Yeah, this is Spidey #3. I also have a quick-change Peter Parker and a shiny suit Spidey.

So clearly I'm addicted to "toys made for preschoolers". This is a new low for me. You see all these guys? I've acquired them all over the course of the last month. Still, never paying more than $1 for any figure, I don't feel too bad about it. Hell, they're so cute that I'm even mixing universes, and I'm a staunch comic segregationist!

I'm always fascinated by the wear and damage that I find on some toys. While a lot of stuff is in pretty good condition, there are also many items that look like they've been to Hell and back. What the Hell did they do to Raphael's foot? Were they reenacting Roots? Sure, he was a dick, but DAMN!

This, my friends, is a Nerf scope. As my twitter followers know, I'm slowly building a Nerf militia. Ya see, I wasn't allowed to have toy guns when I was growing up. The closest things I had were the Nintendo Zapper and an old hair dryer that didn't work. So, when I struck out on my own, as a man, one of the first things I bought was the Nerf Nite-Finder. That didn't quench my foam lust, however. Luckily, my lovely girlfriend (Lindsay/@specialEteacher for y'all playing along at home), got me the Nerf Raider for Christmas last year. This was soon followed by the Maverick, Long Shot, and Recon. And another Long Shot. Basically, if I found one at a yard sale or thrift store, I bought it. They all had a tactical rail for adding scopes, but you can't find them in stores or the Hasbro website any longer. So, imagine my joy when I spotted this baby sticking out of the stuffed animal bin at a thrift shop! Lawdy, lawdy I can see! Anyway, got this baby for 69 cents!

Well, that's enough rambling from me. I took more pictures, but I'll save those for the next post.

2Sep/113

Justice League #1: A Discussion

OK, so by now you should've read my Flashpoint post. As that was the end of an era, Justice League was touted as the beginning of a new one. I wish I could say that it worked for me, but it just didn't.

Justice League #1 is chock full of gorgeous Jim Lee-ian action. It's the kind of stuff that's really going to hurt your heart when you hear that Jim Califiore's taking over the art a year from now. Recent series have launched with the big names, but settle into a routine with the journeymen. Anyway, for all the action, there's just not much substance. It's reminiscent of Lee's work on the "Hush" storyline in Batman a few years ago. That was a good excuse for Lee to play in the Gotham toybox, but the story didn't make much sense. This book didn't really have a story; this was just an appetizer.

A few nights ago on twitter, Comics Bulletin had a great rant about the folks who've been comparing the issue to a television pilot. I can't even do it justice (no pun intended) by trying to repeat it, so I recommend you hop over to their feed. Basically, though, they said that a successful pilot makes you want to come back for more, while this doesn't really have that effect. I couldn't agree more. However, I think I'd like to even go a step further. Justice League #1 isn't a pilot - it's the "cold open", or pre-credit sequence, to the pilot. Sure, there's a bit of padding in it, but once you get to that last page:


you know that it can only be followed by something like this:

God damn, I love that theme song! Is there any way that Jim Lee could just draw music? I'd preorder every issue! Here's a little secret about me: I only watch the cold open for Smallville. I'm gone after the theme song. Hell, if I turn it on, and find I missed both the open and the song, I turn it right off. Sure, that was a cliffhangery last page, but I'm not convinced that I shouldn't change the channel. I'm looking to the next issue to help me make that decision.

1Sep/110

Change In A Flash: Thoughts on The End of an Era

So, that was Flashpoint, huh? Ya know, over the years, I've bullied DC by saying they should be more like Marvel. I felt they should be better at social networking and also start leaking their big stories to the New York Post. Over the past year, DC seemed to have heard the same suggestions from others more important than me, as their social network presence increased and they got chummier with the press. I did not, however, say that they should ape Marvel's storytelling style. At the same time, though, they started recreating Marvel's starting lineup from 1994. They already had the Kuberts and Fabian Nicieza, but they also brought in former Marvel E-I-C Bob Harras and former X-Men writer Scott Lobdell. The end result is that Flashpoint ends up being Age of Apocalypse by way of House of M. It looks like DC had been paying attention to the competition, but at what cost?

I compare Flashpoint to Age of Apocalypse, as it utilizes the same "alternate reality on the verge of cataclysmic war - comprised of minis and one shots" format. The tone is very similar to that of AoA, plus it doesn't hurt that Andy Kubert did the art on both storylines. Also, Flashpoint #5 is almost a beat-by-beat retelling of the end of AoA. They even do the "final battle as the bombs go off" thing.

I mention House of M because it provides the setup for the story. Everything changes in a flash, as people are living their lives one way, and a flash of light completely changes their circumstances. Also, HoM did have lasting effects in that it allowed Wolverine to remember his past and, more importantly, it reduced the number of mutants in the Marvel Universe to roughly 198. Flashpoint, similarly, has the repercussion that it sets off an entirely new iteration of the DC Universe.

I'm not gonna do a recap, as you've read the book. This isn't even a "review", per se, but I did want to share a few thoughts I had along the way, bulletpoint style:

-I know, I swore I wasn't even going to read this "event". I felt like the Big Two were just repackaging old concepts, and I didn't feel like rereading the same old stuff. Then, two things happened. First, it emerged that Fear Itself was basically a Thor story, which just solidified my lack of interest in it. Next, DC announced not only the "New 52", but also the fact that Flashpoint would be the springboard for all of that. So, excited for the future, I decided I should probably board the Flashpoint train.

In all, I enjoyed the core Flashpoint mini. It moved quickly enough that I didn't focus too much on characterizations and motivations. I got the gist of it, and I knew that if I wanted more, there were always the spin-off minis. I only picked up the Batman one, though.

-The story's resolution felt like some kind of marketing mandate to ensure that Flash: Rebirth "mattered". Even though people trust Johns to dust off these older concepts, nobody wanted Barry Allen back. Nobody. We were all fine with Wally. The ending felt like "See? You didn't want Barry back, but you couldn't have had this shiny new universe without him. You're welcome."

Marvel does a much better job of making you think that everything was connected in some grand plan. Secret Invasion pays off a plot point from five years prior, and you have to wonder if they got lucky, or if they really did have this planned all along. DC didn't pull off that magic with Flashpoint. I don't think Flash: Rebirth was ever intended to result in this, as it was *meant* to pay off in a monthly book on which Manapul couldn't keep up the pace.

-While I understand that Flash has the power set/mechanics to set this ball in motion, it feels like this would've worked better as a Batman story. Maybe they couldn't do it, as Lord knows Batman's been through enough in recent years, plus they needed to really reestablish Barry's importance. Just like Identity Crisis was all about loss, this was about familial ties and the notion that "you can't go home again".

The problem is that Barry's momma drama isn't as well known as Bruce's. A man on the street could tell you next to nothing about "Barry Allen", let alone the fact that his mom was killed. Everyone, however, knows that Bruce Wayne's parents were killed (even if they think the Joker did it), which led him to become Batman. For true gravitas, and to help Batman move along in a more positive direction, it should've been Batman displaced in time, working side by side with his father, as master tactician during the war, yet still getting the closure he has sought all these years. In fact, that would've been preferable to the whole Quantum Leap drama of The Return of Bruce Wayne.

-Sometimes I have trouble conveying myself outside of analogies, so I hope you can follow this: let's say a person has an accident and ends up in a coma. The family mourns initially, but if he's in that coma long enough, when it comes time to pull the plug, they realize the guy had basically been dead since the moment he slipped into the coma. Still there? How does that apply? Well, I felt like this series would pay off in some kind of grand farewell for the old DCU. Instead, by issue #5, you realize they were basically already gone and wouldn't be making an appearance. There was no "goodbye" or "that's all, folks". Silver Age comics would've had silhouettes of the JLA waving goodbye from the clouds or something as the last panel. I think was expecting that "Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow?" ending. What a Hell of a way to cap off an era that was!

Even though all of the solo books wrapped up (some better than others), Flashpoint really was just a Flash book, as none of the "real" depictions of the characters ever made an appearance (with the exception of Booster Gold). I guess I expected some kind of spillover into the "real world", and the end result would be this weird amalgam of them both. Instead, we learn there are *3* timelines, which are all just hastily combined into one.

-What was that 3rd reality? I recognized the one we were leaving (left page) and the new one (right page), but was that the full 3rd along the top? So, it was Wildstorm and alt versions of 2nd tier characters?

-Barry has memories of EVERYTHING now? That's a seed for a future storyline, if AoA is any indication. In that story, Bishop was the only one who remembered the AoA timeline, which caused him to go insane down the road.

So, in all, I didn't hate the ending, but it certainly wasn't what I was expecting. I guess I could call that a success, as it proves this old dog hasn't seen it all. At the same time, I'm no more jazzed about the New 52 than I was, and I feel that's a failing. I admit that I haven't read Justice League #1 as of writing this, so maybe I'll change my mind. All I know is that this was billed as the end of an era. Everything renumbered. A shit ton of new launches. A clean slate. All that said, I still don't feel like Flashpoint truly gave me the chance to say goodbye to what we were leaving behind.