01st Sep2011

Change In A Flash: Thoughts on The End of an Era

by Will

So, that was Flashpoint, huh? Ya know, over the years, I’ve bullied DC by saying they should be more like Marvel. I felt they should be better at social networking and also start leaking their big stories to the New York Post. Over the past year, DC seemed to have heard the same suggestions from others more important than me, as their social network presence increased and they got chummier with the press. I did not, however, say that they should ape Marvel’s storytelling style. At the same time, though, they started recreating Marvel’s starting lineup from 1994. They already had the Kuberts and Fabian Nicieza, but they also brought in former Marvel E-I-C Bob Harras and former X-Men writer Scott Lobdell. The end result is that Flashpoint ends up being Age of Apocalypse by way of House of M. It looks like DC had been paying attention to the competition, but at what cost?

I compare Flashpoint to Age of Apocalypse, as it utilizes the same “alternate reality on the verge of cataclysmic war – comprised of minis and one shots” format. The tone is very similar to that of AoA, plus it doesn’t hurt that Andy Kubert did the art on both storylines. Also, Flashpoint #5 is almost a beat-by-beat retelling of the end of AoA. They even do the “final battle as the bombs go off” thing.

I mention House of M because it provides the setup for the story. Everything changes in a flash, as people are living their lives one way, and a flash of light completely changes their circumstances. Also, HoM did have lasting effects in that it allowed Wolverine to remember his past and, more importantly, it reduced the number of mutants in the Marvel Universe to roughly 198. Flashpoint, similarly, has the repercussion that it sets off an entirely new iteration of the DC Universe.

I’m not gonna do a recap, as you’ve read the book. This isn’t even a “review”, per se, but I did want to share a few thoughts I had along the way, bulletpoint style:

-I know, I swore I wasn’t even going to read this “event”. I felt like the Big Two were just repackaging old concepts, and I didn’t feel like rereading the same old stuff. Then, two things happened. First, it emerged that Fear Itself was basically a Thor story, which just solidified my lack of interest in it. Next, DC announced not only the “New 52″, but also the fact that Flashpoint would be the springboard for all of that. So, excited for the future, I decided I should probably board the Flashpoint train.

In all, I enjoyed the core Flashpoint mini. It moved quickly enough that I didn’t focus too much on characterizations and motivations. I got the gist of it, and I knew that if I wanted more, there were always the spin-off minis. I only picked up the Batman one, though.

-The story’s resolution felt like some kind of marketing mandate to ensure that Flash: Rebirth “mattered”. Even though people trust Johns to dust off these older concepts, nobody wanted Barry Allen back. Nobody. We were all fine with Wally. The ending felt like “See? You didn’t want Barry back, but you couldn’t have had this shiny new universe without him. You’re welcome.”

Marvel does a much better job of making you think that everything was connected in some grand plan. Secret Invasion pays off a plot point from five years prior, and you have to wonder if they got lucky, or if they really did have this planned all along. DC didn’t pull off that magic with Flashpoint. I don’t think Flash: Rebirth was ever intended to result in this, as it was *meant* to pay off in a monthly book on which Manapul couldn’t keep up the pace.

-While I understand that Flash has the power set/mechanics to set this ball in motion, it feels like this would’ve worked better as a Batman story. Maybe they couldn’t do it, as Lord knows Batman’s been through enough in recent years, plus they needed to really reestablish Barry’s importance. Just like Identity Crisis was all about loss, this was about familial ties and the notion that “you can’t go home again”.

The problem is that Barry’s momma drama isn’t as well known as Bruce’s. A man on the street could tell you next to nothing about “Barry Allen”, let alone the fact that his mom was killed. Everyone, however, knows that Bruce Wayne’s parents were killed (even if they think the Joker did it), which led him to become Batman. For true gravitas, and to help Batman move along in a more positive direction, it should’ve been Batman displaced in time, working side by side with his father, as master tactician during the war, yet still getting the closure he has sought all these years. In fact, that would’ve been preferable to the whole Quantum Leap drama of The Return of Bruce Wayne.

-Sometimes I have trouble conveying myself outside of analogies, so I hope you can follow this: let’s say a person has an accident and ends up in a coma. The family mourns initially, but if he’s in that coma long enough, when it comes time to pull the plug, they realize the guy had basically been dead since the moment he slipped into the coma. Still there? How does that apply? Well, I felt like this series would pay off in some kind of grand farewell for the old DCU. Instead, by issue #5, you realize they were basically already gone and wouldn’t be making an appearance. There was no “goodbye” or “that’s all, folks”. Silver Age comics would’ve had silhouettes of the JLA waving goodbye from the clouds or something as the last panel. I think was expecting that “Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow?” ending. What a Hell of a way to cap off an era that was!

Even though all of the solo books wrapped up (some better than others), Flashpoint really was just a Flash book, as none of the “real” depictions of the characters ever made an appearance (with the exception of Booster Gold). I guess I expected some kind of spillover into the “real world”, and the end result would be this weird amalgam of them both. Instead, we learn there are *3* timelines, which are all just hastily combined into one.

-What was that 3rd reality? I recognized the one we were leaving (left page) and the new one (right page), but was that the full 3rd along the top? So, it was Wildstorm and alt versions of 2nd tier characters?

-Barry has memories of EVERYTHING now? That’s a seed for a future storyline, if AoA is any indication. In that story, Bishop was the only one who remembered the AoA timeline, which caused him to go insane down the road.

So, in all, I didn’t hate the ending, but it certainly wasn’t what I was expecting. I guess I could call that a success, as it proves this old dog hasn’t seen it all. At the same time, I’m no more jazzed about the New 52 than I was, and I feel that’s a failing. I admit that I haven’t read Justice League #1 as of writing this, so maybe I’ll change my mind. All I know is that this was billed as the end of an era. Everything renumbered. A shit ton of new launches. A clean slate. All that said, I still don’t feel like Flashpoint truly gave me the chance to say goodbye to what we were leaving behind.

19th Aug2011

Does A Body Good

by Will

After all these years, I still find that I’m too immature for “Got Milk?” ads. These things have been around for almost 20 years, so it must be an effective campaign. That said, most of them just look like a money shot from a celebrity sex tape with high production values. Even when they did one with Batman – my hero among heroes – it just made my heart hurt for the Caped Crusader! Was that how he was replenishing the Wayne fortune?!!!

Anyway, I work at…a place filled with…people who might be inspired to drink milk, and these posters are everywhere. Hell, I think we ran out of money, and they’re just using them as cheap wallpaper. In any case, I thought I’d share a few of them with you, along with my thoughts. Before we get started, I apologize for the quality of the pictures; Ansel Adams never had to use a BlackBerry camera…

Just look in that dog’s eyes. He clearly saw the whole thing. This just makes me think back to the time Amanda quit Twitter because she got a bunch of backlash for saying she preferred black guys. What did Devante do to you, Amanda?! What did he do?!!!

They finally came up with a way to get me to not notice the milk mustache. Ha! He’s with a giraffe! Honestly, I think the funniest part is that the giraffe actually finished college.

This is probably the worst picture of Demi Lovato I’ve ever seen, and I say that as a Demi fan. Hell, you don’t say something nice about her, and she will punch you in your face! She went to rehab for it and everything. Anyway, this picture looks like it might be some sad artifact sent to the past from a future where her career has totally derailed, yet the “Demi Loves Otto” sex tape is tearing up the SuperNet.

This one is disturbing to me because, in real life, Victoria Justice looks like a bad Photoshop job. She’s got the face of a 25 year old, yet the body of a fit 15 year old. She’s like a younger clone of Giada De Laurentiis. She just seems like an odd choice for a milk ad. “Your body will be suspended in teen animation, but you’ll be pretty. Drink up!”

And I thought R. Kelly was the one who sang “Down Low”. Notice how you can’t really see from the waist down? These are my confessions…

OH, COME THE FUCK ON!

18th Aug2011

Thoughts on Captain America: The First Avenger

by Will

So, I’ve been a bad blerd. I want to be the black authority on geekdom, yet I wait a whole month to see one of summer’s biggest comic movies! Anyway, I finally saw Captain America: The First Avenger the other night. Final thought: it was really enjoyable.

Since you all saw this thing weeks before I did, this isn’t going to be a review. After all, you don’t give a shit if I liked it or not. I do, however, want to share a few bullet point thoughts that occurred to me throughout the film. Shall we?

-Dum Dum Dugan! I was so glad to see him, and it wasn’t just a random cameo. The Howling Commandos had a pretty big role in the war scenes.

-Speaking of the Howling Commandos, I *really* wanted Derek Luke’s character to turn out to be a young Nick Fury. I’m ashamed to admit that I totally forgot that the character of Gabe Jones existed. Anyway, if it had been Fury, it would’ve established a preexisting relationship with Cap for the Avengers movie, plus it would’ve allowed Fury to have been a part of the Howling Commandos in movie continuity.

-While we got a battle montage, I really wanted a training montage – mainly so I could figure out when Cap learned to fly planes. He was in the Army, and not the Air Force or the Navy. Somehow, though, he just knew how to fly every aircraft he commandeered.

-Bucky Barnes. While the comics tend to paint him as “Wartime Robin”, I think I prefer that to the film’s “older brother figure who’d steal your girlfriend” persona. I didn’t really like him, and I certainly didn’t like him enough to want to see him as the Winter Soldier, should the movies decide to go that route.

-Man, Tommy Lee Jones has aged into quite the scrotum-faced old man! I mean, it’s almost on a Matthau level. It was nice, though, that he got a comic movie do-over to make up for Batman Forever (yes, I know MIB was a comic, but let’s be honest – nobody even cared until the movie came out).

-I really expected Howard Stark to be a dick. He was not, and I liked that. In fact, I’d really like to know more about the character – but this version, and not the weird, philosophical brainfuck of an origin they’re giving him in S.H.I.E.L.D. at the moment.

-How come movie Nazis always have the coolest clothes? Sure, they’ve got fucked up beliefs, but an unbelievable tailor! I’m pretty sure Red Skull was wearing a leather shirt at one point. Leather shirt!

Not to get all preachy, but I did take something away from the movie: America could REALLY use a symbol like Captain America now. We’ve gotten too jaded and cynical for something like that to work, but people tend to be strengthened by a powerful symbol. If only there were something we could all rally behind. All we’ve got now are the Kardashians…

Anyway, that’s all I got. Enjoyable movie. Not my favorite comic movie or anything, but I’m sure I’ll buy it on DVD. That’s mainly because I’m a DVD whore, though…

25th Jul2011

So, That Was The Wonder Woman Pilot…

by Will

All of the “real” sites used their connections to see the rejected Wonder Woman pilot right after the network upfronts in May, but I don’t have that kind of Rolodex (does anyone use an actual Rolodex anymore?). Anyway, thanks to a pal on Twitter, I was finally able to see what all the fuss was about. Let me just get my snobbery out of the way: as a student of comics and television, it’s glaringly obvious as to why NBC passed on this show. Even in its position at the bottom of the ratings, Wonder Woman was NOT going to be NBC’s salvation. If The Cape didn’t save them, this sure wasn’t going to do it, either. Honestly, Wonder Woman is more on the level of the short-lived Birds of Prey series.

Few people remember it, as Smallville went on to last ten seasons compared to BoP‘s one, but I maintain that Birds of Prey and Smallville were of the same level of quality. The only difference was that Superman was a more recognizable character than Commissioner Gordon’s crippled daughter/niece and Batman’s daughter (?!). Both shows were on The WB, where it didn’t matter what the shows were about, as long as the people were pretty. With Adrianne Palicki and Elizabeth Hurley, Wonder Woman‘s got that in spades. Also, Birds of Prey struggled with the fact that it was trying to tell a story without being allowed a full understanding of the characters. As BoP was laid out, Barbara Gordon was the former Batgirl who, after being crippled by The Joker, now operates as infojock Oracle. If you’ve read the comics, that’s familiar enough. Next, you’ve got Helena Wayne, who in this situation, is actually the adult daughter of Batman and Catwoman. Oh, and she’s also a mutant. She’s got heightened senses and jumps high and shit, which enables her to patrol the streets as Huntress. Now, here’s the kicker: since Warner Bros wanted to focus on revamping the Batman movie franchise (this was pre- Batman Begins), they didn’t allow Batman in the show (except for a brief sequence in the pilot). So, you’ve got your core cast, whose origins revolve around a concept that can only be danced around. And to explain it in the show, apparently The Joker killed Catwoman. TV Batman was such a punk bitch that he became distraught, and left Gotham City forever. So, what followed were 13 episodes of Barbara and Helena, both inspired by He Who Shall Not Be Named, defending Gotham City in the hopes that He Who Shall Not Be Named decides to stop being a bitch and comes home. Sadly, the show didn’t last that long, but the finale did involve a cool fight scene set to the t.A.T.u. classic “All The Things She Said”.

How does this all relate to Wonder Woman? Well, just like BoP, it doesn’t seem like David E. Kelley was allowed full access to the character. Sure, it’s a Wonder Woman costume, and DC was behind the project, but it lacks an understanding of Wonder Woman. This has been one of the biggest problems for Wonder Woman, as the comics lost sight of what makes her tick quite some time ago. The Greg Rucka era was the last time that anyone proudly read the WW comic series, and even “female character wunderkind” Gail Simone couldn’t get a grasp on the character. I ranted about this at length on twitter, but I felt like they should’ve focused figuring out the answer to “Who Is Wonder Woman?” before committing her to other media, like a weekly TV series. If they had called this show “Donna Troy”, it would’ve worked better. She wears a similar costume, looks the same, and nobody knows what the Hell her deal is. That’s her gimmick! Over the past 30 years, her mere existence is perpetuated on the fact that she’s just a walking identity crisis. Wonder Woman, however, should have a defined mission statement, which is neither present in the recent comics nor this pilot. There’s nothing to “wonder” about the woman in this pilot unless you’re wondering how she got cast. Anyway, here are the thoughts that occurred to me as I watched the show:

-There’s a LOT of exposition, but you’re really only informed of Wonder Woman’s backstory through newscasts and political pundits.  I liked the pundit sequence. Not sure if they actually got Dershowitz, Dr. Phil, and Nancy Grace on board, or if it was just clever editing, but this is what would happen if superheroes existed in the “real world”. If that’s what they’re going for, however, this could be a problem down the line.

-OK, here’s where things get more confusing than they need to be. In the show, Wonder Woman has THREE identities! She’s Wonder Woman, she’s international businesswoman Diana Themyscira (who’s also publicly known to be Wonder Woman), but she’s ALSO Diana Prince, which is the mousy-’cause-she-wear-glasses-and-a-ponytail-even-though-you-know-she’s-really-hot-like-in-She’s All That identity. By day, she’s one of the first two, but by night, she goes home to be Diana Prince, where she watches The Notebook with her cat. Yes, that happens. Since she’s not a lawyer, nor is she in Boston, I’m left to believe that this is the “David E. Kelley Touch” on this project. First off, I don’t think Wonder Woman would watch The Notebook, nor would she ask her cat if she should set up a facebook profile. This is all part of the “Well, she is a single woman, so she’s got needs and is probably lonely.” Family Guy conveyed that best here:

 

I get it. Set up a love story to grab some female viewers, but all that’s missing is the pint of Ben & Jerry’s. Also, I don’t see why she needs a 3rd identity in order to be lonely and “normal”. So, she puts on glasses and hides in her modest apartment so she can pretend she’s making decent lonely single lady money, when she knows that she’s actually a multimillionaire with a penthouse and a multinational corporation? I can understand having a weekend getaway, but this is a bit much.

-I’m the one guy who’s never watched Friday Night Lights, so I have no previous experience with Adrianne Palicki, but I don’t feel this was good casting. She never conveys the strength of Diana.  Instead, she’s soft, and comes across as Kelly Kapowski in a Halloween costume. Her acting is also phoned in. Surrounding Palicki, everyone else feels like they’re over acting. Everyone has a sense of urgency, while she just seems…bored. In my mind, Lake Bell or Missy Peregrym would’ve been stronger, better choices, as they have the look, and they’re still somewhat “unknown talents”, since nobody watched Surface or Stick It.

 

-I liked the color/weight blind casting on Etta Candy, but I know the fanboys would’ve loathed that! They hate Wonder Woman, but still would’ve jumped on that. Plus, I some fangirls would be upset that Etta Candy wasn’t “properly” portrayed as a larger gal…

-This is always going to be a problem when you make an adaptation of a comic character, but the suit doesn’t translate to reality. Batman works ’cause he hides in shadows. Superman works in a way. Wonder Woman just looks like she’s on her way to her shift at The Crazy Russian. Call me sexist, but the suit doesn’t work. You don’t know if she’s gonna arrest you or try to take you to the champagne room.

-I hate Diana’s male assistant, Henry. Had the show been picked up, I feel like he exists solely to be the person close to Diana who gets killed by some villain trying to make a point.

-They say “prick”, “balls”, and “tits” as an attempt to be edgy.

-Can we talk about the political/legal ramifications of the structure of this show? Everyone knows that businesswoman Diana Themyscira is Wonder Woman, yet no one goes after her company in a lawsuit? They kinda address it, when a senator threatens to sic the Justice Department on her. Diana answers that threat by saying that the country’s in two wars, so it doesn’t have time to investigate her. Not only is that lazy storytelling, but it’s another problem with combining real world aspects with comic aspects.

-She fucking kills a guy! I mean, she throws a pipe through his fucking throat! A security guard who’s just following orders! Not a Star Wars guy, but it’s really the whole “independent contractors on the Death Star” debate all over again.

-The villain, Veronica Cale, was experimenting on folks from a slavery ring, yet they were all white males. Not who you usually think of being involved in slavery, even the white kind. So, I guess this is when the show decided to stop trying to ape the real world, huh?

So, in the end, it’s not a horrible show, but it’s certainly not great. Based on production value, this show would’ve lasted 6 seasons in weekend syndication back in the 90s, but sadly that market is dead. It could’ve been in a block with Mutant X, Night Man, and Viper. It might even work as a cable show, but it certainly wasn’t a good fit for NBC. At the end of the day, it’s a serviceable action hour of television, but it’s not Wonder Woman. They tried a different take on the character that just didn’t work. The funny thing is that there’s source material for what they were trying to do: it’s called Ultra. As the first big comic project from The Luna Brothers, Ultra was a miniseries from Image Comics which was basically “Sex and the City with Powers”. Sure, it had dating drama and whatnot, but there was also a lot of action. Based on what I’ve seen here, David E. Kelley would be the PERFECT guy to adapt that series. Wonder Woman, however, just wasn’t the project for him.

 

16th Jun2011

Mr Terrific?

by Will

So, according to a comment on my last post, I’m apparently deplorable for implying that the “DCnU” diversity books are simply that – affirmative action books to fulfill some diversity quota. If this revamp actually holds weight, more power to it. The thing is, I’m not new to this game. For all the changes of staff and direction, at the end of the day, the same people running the industry were running it 20 years ago. It’s a 4-color country club. That’s not to say that they don’t occasionally have good intentions, but they’ll always be thwarted by the baby boomer fans who don’t like change (remember the “Donald Glover for Spider-Man” debacle?). Sure, those fans will die out, but is there enough of a new generation to take their place? That, in essence, is the point of the DC revamp. I get that. I just don’t know if there’s as much an audience for that as one might think.

With all of this going, I decided to look at the matter from the perspective of the “black comic reader”. That’s not a normal thing for me, as I tend to just think of myself as “comic reader”. It rarely hits home that the heroes “don’t look like me” ’cause it’s fiction. A lot of people in real life “don’t look like me” either, as I’ve had a few unique experiences. Then again, I got into comics at an age when I was no longer looking for heroes, so maybe that has colored my view. In any case, I can turn a blind eye to a few things as simply “comic reader”. I find, however, that’s it’s when things are targeted directly to “black comic reader” that I have the most problems. One particular example of this is Mr. Terrific.

As the second person to go by the name “Mister Terrific”, Michael Holt has genius-level intelligence, and he’s an Olympic-class athlete. He became a self-made millionaire through his company, Cyberwear. After his wife and unborn baby were killed in a car accident, he contemplated suicide, but was stopped by The Spectre.  The Spectre told Holt of Terry Sloane, the original Mr. Terrific, which inspired Holt to want to follow in his footsteps. Not only does Mr. Terrific eventually become chairman of legacy group, The Justice Society, but he also becomes a ranking member in the Checkmate intelligence agency. Sounds good, right? Well, not so fast.

First, I’ve always had a problem with the fact that his intelligence is ranked. According to the comics, Mr. Terrific is the 3rd smartest man in DCU. Why does his intellect need to be qualified? Some might see this as a great advancement for a black character, but I always saw it as “Well, there are 2 people smarter than him, and I’ll bet they’re white.” If this were a race, he’d be the 2nd loser. Marvel did this with Amadeus Cho, who was the 7th smartest person in Marvel Universe. In both situations, all this does is point out that “he’s good, but he’s not the BEST”. Can’t he be brilliant without a rank? It’s bad for public schools, and it’s bad for super heroes.

Second, Mr. Terrific suffers from what I’m going to ignorantly refer to as “Doing-Too-Much-Itis”. This is one of the reasons that he always came off as a pandering, “diversity” hero, as there are 2 ways to play this: 1) make him a street-smart stereotype OR 2) go WAY overboard in the opposite direction. With Mr. Terrific, #2 is flying the plane. You see, it’s not enough that Holt is a genius and a successful businessman. No, he created T-Spheres which hover around him, and do whatever the story needs them to, and he’s also invisible to electronic detection. Plus, he’s an Olympic decathlete AND he holds 14 PhDs. FOURTEEN PhDs!!! In my best Seth Meyers voice, “Really?!” They couldn’t take one thing and stick with it? Now, my commentor would probably say something like, “Well, Batman’s smart – are you trying to say that a black man can’t be just as smart?” Here’s the difference, while Batman probably could’ve earned 14 PhDs, he DIDN’T. Ya know why? He didn’t need some institution of higher learning to qualify what he’d learned. He was too busy being trained by ninjas and shit.

It’s like comic book writers haven’t figured out how to handle the black middle class. It’s not all Sweet Christmas and Uncle Toms. There is a middle ground. Two great examples of this are Steel and Static. Both started a bit rough, as they were mired in the early 90s culture in which they debuted. Over time, however, they carved out identities that weren’t so stereotypical, and were something we hadn’t really seen before in comics. Steel became a trusted ally to, and engineer for, Superman and the Justice League. Static, if handled probably, could be the Peter Parker for a new generation. The key to both is that, to me, they’re relatable. I can’t relate to a dude with 14 PhDs. Mr. Terrific should be out teaching college courses or curing diseases instead of fighting Black Adam.

Finally, another thing bandied about regarding Mr. Terrific is his atheism. He has fought alongside the Wrath of God, but still isn’t a believer. Um, OK.

Let’s forget the fact that throwing real world religion into comics was a notion bound to fail. Some could say that the existence of a deity is more plausible in a comic universe than in the real world. So, by the very structure of his fictional world, Mr. Terrific is already unnecessarily outcast. Now, let’s add to it that the church is one of the cornerstones of what one might consider “the black experience”. His stance, therefore, distances him from many of  those for whom he was most likely created. While we live in the age of the rise of the “Blatheist”, this was just another Terrific aspect to which I couldn’t relate.

Now, let’s take another stance. Let’s assume Mr. Terrific wasn’t created for the black comic reading audience. Instead of appealing to the “black comic fan”, what if he’s meant to appeal to simply the “comic fan”? Let’s take the aging fanboy of the old school persuasion; I dealt with a lot of these back when I was with Diamond. In this situation, Mr. Terrific would still be fail as a concept. You know why? He’s an uppity, rich, intelligent black man, who doesn’t believe in God. Oh, and he dates white women. But he runs real fast (don’t forget to include a stereotype that they do believe in, ya know – so they can relate).

So, for whom was Mr. Terrific created? To whom does he appeal? Are any of you Mr. Terrific fans? With the DC relaunch, he’s slated to have a higher profile. As one of those old school fans pointed out on The Beat, the series will be “written by a black”, so who knows if I’ll find myself liking him more. If there are more fans like that Beat commentor, then the future doesn’t look too terrific to me after all.

10th Jun2011

52 Thoughts…

by Will

So, I already talked about the future of DC Comics in this post. At that time, I figured it was best to be optimistic, and just wait and see what was in store for us. Now, the 52 launch titles of “DCnU” (yes, I hate that, but it seems to be catching) have been announced, so I thought I’d give BRIEF thoughts on each one.

1. Justice League #1 by Geoff Johns and Jim Lee

Great idea, but we all know that this is the creative team for, at best, the initial arc. By #6, we’ll still Johns on board, but we’ll have a Kubert or Scott McDaniel on art. You could do worse, but this is a book that deserves to ALWAYS have A-list talent on it.

2. Justice League International #1 by Dan Jurgens and Aaron Lopresti

I like Booster Gold, so I’ll give it a shot. I just don’t have the love for the JLI that a lot of fans seem to have. I’m here for Batman and Booster.

3. Teen Titans #1 by  Scott Lobdell, Brett Booth and Norm Rapmund

All hail our Image overlords. Seriously, this is more DV8 than Teen Titans. At least Tim Drake’s still around…

4. Suicide Squad #1 by Adam Glass and Marco Rudy

Another concept for which I’ve never had much love. It’s got Harley in it, though. Crazy, redesigned Harley.

5. Action Comics #1 by Grant Morrison and Rags Morales

This is an iconic comic cover:

This is NOT:

Good luck with that.

6. Superman #1 by George Pérez and Jesus Merino

Meh. This would mean something in 1988. Perez doesn’t exactly “bring all the boys to the yard” these days.

7. Superboy #1 by Scott Lobdell and R.B. Silva and Rob Lean

Loved the writer 20 years ago, but don’t know those artists.

8. Supergirl #1 by Michael Green, Mike Johnson and Mahmud A. Asrar

These guys kept Superman/Batman chugging along, but I think I was the only one buying that book. Liked Asrar on Dynamo 5, though.

9. Batman #1 by Scott Snyder and Greg Capullo.

Same problem as Action – this  cover isn’t dynamic enough for a book that’s being relaunched after 700 issues:

 

10. Detective Comics #1 by Tony Daniel

Can’t believe Daniel’s still on this franchise. He came along because Kubert couldn’t stay on schedule. Then, they reward him by making him the artist AND writer once Morrison went off to do what he does, resulting in a run that felt like filler. Now, they shift him over to Detective to do more of the same?

11. Batman: The Dark Knight #1 by David Finch

Relaunched after 2 long-delayed issues. Yeah, this’ll work. Paul Cornell or Peter Tomasi will be on this book in a year.

12. Batgirl #1 by Gail Simone, Ardian Syaf and Vicente Cifuentes.

She is HEALED! Barbara Gordon can WALK, and it is a MIRACLE! This one’s causing a lot of chatter online. I’m kind hoping hoping the last panel of #1 shows her getting shot.

13. Batwoman #1 by J.H. Williams III, Haden Blackman and Amy Reeder

Do we really need this is the one, true Batchick is back on the prowl? I get that it contributes to DC’s “diversity”, but she feels pretty redundant at the moment. Plus, Williams is the draw. No one’s gonna care once Calafiore gets put on the book.

14. Catwoman #1 by Judd Winick and Guillem March

Winick, eh? How long before Selina gets a trusted confidante who’s then diagnosed with HIV? That’s the Winick Special right there!

15. Red Hood And The Outlaws #1 by Scott Lobdell and Kenneth Rocafort

I like Rocafort, but Red Hood is kinda like Hush: less is more. Don’t keep him in the spotlight. Plus, a team comprised of Arsenal and Starfire hardly makes it a “must read”.

16. Batwing #1 by Judd Winick and Ben Oliver

‘Cause we’ve all been wanting to read Bat Panther. Nobody likes reading Black Panther, so who thought putting bat ears on that concept would be a winner? This is an affirmative action ploy right here.

17. Nightwing #1 by Kyle Higgins and Eddy Barrows

Surprise, surprise. Not. We knew it was coming, but we thought it would come through a more organic process than what’s seemingly taking place.

18. Batman And Robin #1 by Peter Tomasi and Patrick Gleason

Why does this book still exist? It was created as the “new flagship”, a la Astonishing X-Men so that Morrison would have his own sandbox to play in. Once his stuff expanded to other titles, this book’s purpose ceased to exist. It’s superfluous.

19. Birds Of Prey #1 by Duane Swierczynski and Jesus Saiz

No Gail and no Oracle. This title hasn’t fared as well when Gail’s not at the helm. Also not sure about the lineup. However, if they’re still in Gotham, I’ll check it out.

20. Green Lantern #1 by Geoff Johns, Doug Mahnke and Christian Alamy

Doesn’t seem like anything changes here. Good for its fans.

21. Green Lantern Corps #1 by Peter J. Tomasi, Fernando Pasarin and Scott Hanna

See #20

22. Green Lanterns: New Guardians #1 by Tony Bedard, Tyler Kirkham and Batt

This will be the first Green Lantern book of DCnU to be canceled.

23. Red Lanterns #1 by Peter Milligan, Ed Benes and Rob Hunter.

This will be the first Lantern book of DCnU to be canceled.

*NOTE: Since there seems to always be a Green Lantern mega event on the horizon, I suspect this book, along with New Guardians will be canceled “as a result of those events” – even though it’ll really be due to sales.

24. Aquaman #1 by Geoff Johns and Ivan Reis

It’s Johns, so it shows DC’s committed, but Aquaman, at his best, has still been considered a joke.

25. Wonder Woman #1 by Brian Azzarello #1 and Cliff Chiang

I came for the art, but I stayed for the story. Seriously, I love anything by Cliff Chiang. Can’t say the same for Azzarello, but I’ll give it a chance.

26. Flash #1 by Brian Buccellato and Francis Manapul

Who? I mean, I know Manapul – he’s supposedly the reason the last series was so late, but this other guy. I assume Flash will have a high profile, due to Flashpoint,  but this ain’t a team that instills confidence.

27. Green Arrow #1 by JT Krul and Dan Jurgens

JT Krul, huh? He did the lambasted Rise of Arsenal, but people swear he’s good. Pass.

28. DC Universe Presents #1 by Paul Jenkins and Bernard Chang

Anthology books don’t do well, but Jenkins is a good name to have on this. Plus, it’ll serve a key purpose in the beginning, as it will help to explain the new status quo in areas not covered in the established series.

29. Savage Hawkman #1 by Tony Daniel and Philip Tan

Ha! Hawkman’s always been a continuity bitch, and Daniel’s writing it. I saw it won’t last 2 years.

30. Blue Beetle #1 by Tony Bedard and Ig Guara

Glad Jaime’s back. It’s another diversity book, and it could be DC’s Ultimate Spider-Man if handled right.

31. Fury Of Firestorm #1 by Gail Simone, Ethan Van Sciver and Yildiray Cinar.

This is just City Guys with nuclear powers thrown in. Look at that cover. They should really be back to back, with their arms crossed. “They’re from different worlds, but they find out they have more in common than they thought.” Sitcom 101.

Plus, Gail doesn’t have the best track record as co-writer on a book about young heroes. Her run with Byrne on The Atom left a LOT to be desired. It’s debatable whether that was due to her or Byrne. Then, her Gen 13 run was also pretty lackluster, but that could also be attributed to that fact that it was a stale franchise. I just don’t think she has the same grasp on the “young voice” that writers like Bendis and Kirkman have.

32. Mr Terrific #1 by Eric Wallace and Roger Robinson

Affirmative action hire! Kiss this goodbye.

33. Captain Atom #1 by JT Krul and Freddie Williams II

JT Krul again, and another character nobody really gives a shit about. Won’t see year 2.

34. OMAC #1 by Dan DiDio, Keith Giffen and Scott Koblish

Didio on a Kirby concept. Since it’s Didio, they won’t cancel it until it’s only selling 10 copies, but the writing will always be horrible.

35. Static Shock #1 by John Rozum, Scott McDaniel and Jonathan Glapion.

Who? Only one I know here is McDaniel. He’s got a nice, kinetic style, but I don’t know how this’ll play. Basically, Static and Blue Beetle are courting the same audience. If they’re aiming for a new audience, this is good, as it could bring in diverse readers. If we’re counting on those already reading comics, they hate minority characters.

36. Hawk And Dove #1 by Sterling Gates and Rob Liefeld

This is a joke, right?

37. Deathstroke #1 by Kyle Higgins, Joe Bennett and Art Thibert

He’s had his own series before, but he’s another character where less is more. Don’t try to turn him into an anti-hero, or try to make us sympathize with him.

38. Legion of Superheroes #1 by Paul Levitz and Francis Portela

Levitz knows the Legion, I’ll give him that. This is also, like, their 9th reboot since I’ve been born.

39. Legion Lost #1 by Fabian Nicieza and Pete Woods

Fabian Nicieza AND Scott Lobdell? DC really broke out the time machine, huh? Hope we get some hologram covers out of the deal!

40. Grifter #1 by Nathan Edmondson, CAFU and BIT

So, Wildstorm’s back, eh? It could work.

41. Voodoo #1 by Ron Marz and Sami Basri.

Wasn’t she a stripper? I don’t entirely remember. Based on the cover I’ve seen, and the fact that Marz is writing it, I get the feeling he’s just gonna use some of his Witchblade ideas over here. After all, more people will read this than those buying Top Cow books.

42. Stormwatch #1 by Paul Cornell and Miguel Sepulveda

Martian Manhunter’s in The Authority? It might work.

43. Animal Man #1 by Jeff Lemire, Travel Foreman and Dan Green

Jeff Lemire is that indie darling DC keeps trying to push on us, but just like “fetch”, I don’t know if it’s gonna catch on.

44. Swamp Thing #1 by Scott Snyder and Yanick Paquette

Here’s your Swamp Thing, hippies. It’s even got that Scott Snyder y’all love so much. I feel like this might be a “be careful what you wish for” situation, where having ST in the main DCU isn’t as awesome as you thought it was going to be.

45. Justice League Dark #1 by Peter Milligan and Mikel Janin

Better hope this is a mini. Sure, it’s Milligan, but this is just Shadowpact all over again.

46. Demon Knights #1 by Paul Cornell, Diogenes Neves and Oclair Albert

See #45

47. Frankenstein: Agent Of SHADE #1 by Jeff Lemire and Alberto Ponticelli

I like Frankenstein. I like SHADE. I also realize this is just Hellboy and the BPRD. Luckily, I like this character more than I do Hellboy – that is if it’s the same characterization as in Seven Soldiers.

48. Resurrection Man #1 by Dan Abnett, Andy Lanning and Fernando Dagnino

Doesn’t see year 2.

49. I, Vampire #1 by Josh Fialkov and Andrea Sorrentino

Might’ve worked as a low-selling-as-singles-but-sells-respectably-in-trade Vertigo title, but I don’t see it working as a mainstream DCU book.

50. Blackhawks #1 by Mike Costa and Ken Lashley

A cool, honor-bound group of pilots is now updated into a band of infojock mercenaries. Like Checkmate, I think this concept would be cool woven throughout the universe, and maybe given a mini here and there, but I don’t think it’s a viable ongoing concept.

51. Sgt Rock And The Men Of War #1 by Ivan Brandon and Tom Derenick

There are folks who love war comics. Then again, that war is typically WWII. The Big One. All that. Not sure if modernizing it will work, based on common opinions of our current wars. However, it’s the DCU, so all the battles will take place in fictional places, like Bialya, so it won’t matter.

52. All-Star Western #1 by Jimmy Palmiotti, Justin Grey and Meridat.

It’ll march along  just like Jonah Hex did. “A rose by any other name…”

So, those are my initial thoughts. I hope I wasn’t too mean. If anything, I kinda wanted to make a note of this point in time so that I can come back to it when the books ship, and see if I still feel the same. What are your thoughts on the new lineup?

09th May2011

Comical Thoughts: Traitor To The Cause

by Will

If you follow me on twitter, you’ll know that I wasn’t really excited about Free Comic Book Day this year. Mainly, I feel it’s a day celebrated by those who already read comics, while there’s no indication that it has been successful at bringing new faces into comic shops. Also, as I’ve soured on the bigger publishers recently, due to their dependence on “Been There, Done That” events, I wasn’t really looking forward to grabbing the kick-off issues for “Flashpoint” and “Spider Island”. That said, there’s one thing I’ve always enjoyed about FCBD, and that’s the trivia contest held at a local shop called Alliance Comics.

In the past, I have CLEANED UP at the Alliance trivia contest. It was generally a fanboy free-for-all, and most of the questions were pulled from the Marvel Trivia Game - a game that was given to me by my friend, J. Lamb, back in college. So, I guess I had a bit of an advantage. Don’t get too mad at me, though, as the prizes weren’t really things you’d want. Usually, it’s merchandise that they couldn’t sell, so they decide to give it away. A few years back, I could’ve redecorated a house with all the Superman Returns merchandise they gave away after that movie failed to make a mark. Anyway, they switched things up this year, as the people who had been running the trivia decided not to do it anymore. I had been dreading FCBD because of my lack of excitement, but I believe a part of me secretly knew that I would discover a shameful fact about my role as a comic fan – a shameful, traitorous fact.

First up, let’s have some backstory. If you’re not familiar with comic books, the 2 biggest publishers are Marvel Comics (Spider-Man/X-Men/The Hulk) and DC Comics (Superman/Batman/Wonder Woman). Other publishers have come and gone, but these particular publishers stand tall as “The Big 2″. In any case, back in the silver age of comic collecting, it was pretty common for fans to choose a side. Sure, some people read offerings from both companies, picking up Batman and Spider-Man on the newsstand, but many fans only collected books from one of the Big 2. By around the 90s, there were so many companies that nobody really just stuck to those two any longer. Sure, you may have preferred the superheroes of the Marvel Universe, but you might have also collected gritty books from Vertigo – an imprint of DC Comics.

In the past, I’ve mentioned that I pretty much consider myself to be a “DC Guy”. I started reading comics with Batman and Superman and, while I eventually added Spider-Man and X-Men to my reading list, I acknowledged that it all began for me with DC. There were chunks of time (the late 90s) when I avoided DC like the plague, but I always found my way back in time for the latest Crisis. So, at the end of the day, in The Great Fanboy War of Midgard, I would be fighting on the side of “Time Warner Comics”. Or so I thought. You see, trivia made me realize something about myself. It turns out that I’ve been a fraud all this time. I only wanted to be a DC Guy, but I’ve secretly been a Marvel Guy all along.

Here’s what happened: this year’s trivia contest followed a different model, as there were new categories and elimination rounds. The thing started with about 20 people, and ended up with 3. I was one of those three, but I’m getting ahead of myself. For the folks sticking to the Marvel categories, like “Comic Cover Word Balloons” or “Thor On Screen”, everything seemed easy. I knew the answers to the questions even when the person asked did not. I knew which New Mutant loved soccer (Sunspot), I knew who said “If you don’t buy my book this time, I’m going to come to your house and rip up all your X-Men” (She-Hulk), and I knew the first appearance of Wolverine (Incredible Hulk #181). Unfortunately, I wasn’t asked any of those questions. No, for some reason, fate decided to dig up grandpa’s time capsule, and send me questions about Silver Age DC books. What comic & issue number was the first appearance of the Justice League? What comic & issue number was the first appearance of Hawkman? When DC recently lowered their cover price, what was the new slogan that they placed on all their books? Hell, I even struggled with “What comic and issue number was the first appearance of The Joker (Batman #1 – I knew it, but got a bit insecure before saying it. Here I was, supposedly the DC Guy, yet I knew nothing about a lot of the basic building blocks of that universe. I can, however, tell you in which issue the Avengers find Captain America (Avengers #4), or the first appearance of The Punisher (Amazing Spider-Man #129), or the X-Man who was demoted to the New Mutants roster (Kitty Pryde).

How did this happen?!! When did I go over to the other side? Honestly, I think it has to do with trading cards. In the comics explosion of the 90s, one of the most popular companion items was the trading card. They came in packs, they came polybagged with books, and they came bound into comics. I bought them all, in the search for the ever elusive hologram cards. I have binders full of them, as they listed the stats of the Hulk, The Guardians of the Galaxy or Fenris. You didn’t even need comics, as you could have you own imaginary battles because the strength/endurance levels helped you figure out who would win in a fight. Sure, these evolved into later collectible card games (CCGs), but the early 90s belonged to Marvel Universe and Marvel Masterpieces trading cards. On the flipside, DC only really had one card series: DC Cosmic Cards. I have binders of Marvel cards, but I only have a handful of DC cards. I studied those things weekly, which is how I know obscure Marvel characters like Saturnyne and Epoch. Those DC cards, however, added nothing to my comic education. So, it began as DC’s fault, as they just didn’t make good trading cards. Next, I also blame the multiple Earths/timelines of the DC Universe. The cards I did have were labeled “Modern Age Superman” or “Silver Age Batman”, yet I didn’t know what the Hell that meant! I had just begun reading comics! Marvel may have been around since the 60s, but nothing that happened earlier than 10 years ago “matters”. If you’ve been reading Marvel books since 2000, you know all you need to in order to understand their books. DC, however, has been around since the 3os, yet reboots every 10 years or so, while still referencing events that occurred prior to said reboot. How does one follow along with that?! So, I guess DC’s convoluted structure also hindered my education of its universe.

I’ve got to face facts: at the end of the day, I’m a Marvel guy. I truly wanted to be a DC Guy, as I look at that company as the elder statesman of comics, but it just goes to support that fact that old things/people are confusing. I was one of the 3 finalists for the contest, but I certainly didn’t get there based upon any knowledge of the DC Universe. Oh, and what did I win? A bunch of hardcovers that I’d seen in the markdown section just a few weeks ago. Anyway, in terms of comprehension, I’ve been a Marvel Guy all along. So, where do I go from here? Will I move to a new tax bracket? Will I have to get circumcised again? I just feel so dirty! I’ve been living a lie! I suppose I just continue to move forward. I guess…I guess I’ll just continue to…”make mine Marvel”.

26th Apr2011

So, That Was Beetlejuice…

by Will

Yes, I know you’ve come to rely on me as your pop culture lifeline, but there are gaps in even my education. I can’t watch/read/play everything, so I’ve missed a few things that might surprise you. For example, I’ve never seen Titanic. Yup, I’m that guy you’ve always heard about. Never seen it, nor do I have plans to change that. I’ve also never seen an episode of Lost. Sorry, but I felt that some dude in his mom’s basement had a better ending in mind than what the audience would get. From what I’ve heard from fans, I was probably right. I’ve also never seen Beetlejuice. This was rectified the other night.

Now, I know most of you have probably seen Beetlejuice, but maybe it was when you were younger. If you’ve seen it recently, how do you feel it has held up over time? Maybe I would’ve felt differently had I seen it when it came out, but these are the thoughts I had while watching the movie:

1) Why is it even called “Beetlejuice“? I mean, he’s not really in the movie as much as his billing would imply. If they release a Blu Ray anniversary edition, it should be called The Skinny Adventures of Dead Jack Donaghy.

2) My God is Beetlejuice annoying! Most of what he says/does shouldn’t even be considered “funny”. They say Tim Burton wanted Sammy Davis Jr for the role, but Keaton came highly recommended. As he ended up as Batman, this clearly didn’t kill Keaton’s career. I just feel like this thing would’ve had Jim Carrey written all over it had they gone into production a few years later.

3) Who felt that this movie would translate well as a cartoon, and are they legally allowed around children? I mean, Beetlejuice was going to force teenage Lydia into marrying him. According to some reports, the original script had him just raping her. Now, I’d never seen the movie, but I’ve seen a good 70% of the animated series. Sure, there were times when Lydia & Beetlejuice’s relationship seemed a bit..odd, but the movie puts it in a whole new light. It’s got a similar juxtaposition as The Real Ghostbusters: in the movies, Slimer’s an elusive pest, yet in the cartoon, he’s their pet/mascot. In the Beetlejuice cartoon, an otherworldy pervert becomes a rainy day pal to a bored goth girl.

4) Has anyone ever posited the idea of a “Beetlejuice Curse”? I mean, sure, it’s a stretch, but let’s look at the what happened to the cast: Jeffrey Jones became a sex offender; Winona Ryder “liked” the five finger discount on the facebook of life; Alec Baldwin got fat and has only recently been forgiven for straight kirking out on his daughter on an answering machine; Catherine O’Hara kept leaving her kid at home, yet never seemed to attract the attention of Child Protective Services; Glenn Shadix died after falling in his home; no one’s seen Geena Davis since 2005. If the Beetlejuice Curse isn’t a thing, it ought to be.

5) The effects were good. A lot of them felt almost wasted, but I like the whole claymationy/practical effects thing they had going on. In today’s world of blue screen, it’s nice to see how things used to be done.

6) No one in the movie is likable. I know I’m supposed to be rooting for Jack Donaghy and Commander-In-Chief, but they kinda suck at life. And at death. Why should I want them to save their house. This was an 80s movie, back when greed was “good”. Fuck them and their house. The Deetzes were a bunch of vapid yuppies, so fuck them, too. Does anyone ever root for the goth chick, except for other goths? Get over yourself and add some color to your wardrobe! So, Lydia’s out. And Beetlejuice is just an asshat. I think I was probably rooting for the sandworms.

7) Kenner had quite the toyline based on this movie, which now seems to be just as fucked up as the fact that they turned it into a cartoon. I remember a lot of those toys (thanks to old Kenner Action Toy Guides), so my favorite part of the movie was identifying all the scenes that had inspired the various action figures.

So, there you have it. If I just pissed in the Corn Flakes of your childhood, I apologize. I just don’t get this movie. I’m also not really a Tim Burton guy outside of the Batman movies, so maybe I’m just not cultured enough to get his work. Considering Beetlejuice came out during a year that saw the release of such classics as Die Hard, A Fish Called Wanda, and Emmanuelle 6, I’m kinda surprised it was as successful as it was. I just don’t know if those same fans would look as fondly upon it now as they did back then.

25th Apr2011

Comical Thoughts: Super Dinosaur

by Will

…Annnd it only took me seven days – seven days to break the vow that I made in my last post. I swore I was done with Image comics, outside of collected editions, until they got their act together. But then, they had to go and release a book called Super Dinosaur. Motherfucking SUPER DINOSAUR! Look at that cover! How do you pass on a concept like that? Simple answer: you don’t.

I’ve got to start by saying that Robert Kirkman isn’t exactly my favorite creator. He’s got a lot of great ideas, but I kinda soured on him after he became a giant creator-owned evangelist. To him, you’re wasting your time in comics if all you’re doing is working on X-Men or Batman. Instead, you should be creating new concepts that you OWN, rather than making money for Marvel and DC on decades old characters. He’s on to something there, but he reached a point where he became somewhat of a bully in trying to get that message across. There’s no doubt that he practices what he preaches; he’s so prolific that I either believe his stuff is being handled by ghostwriters, or he’s a tortured artist who beats his wife between ideas. He’s already crossed media with The Walking Dead, but I get the feeling that Super Dinosaur will be another crossover hit.

It’s clear that Super Dinosaur is meant to be one of those rare “all ages” gems that we don’t get very often in comics these days. That said, it appears that Kirkman went to the well of a lot of sources, both familiar and unfamiliar, to pull this all together. Basically, Super Dinosaur is what you get when you throw Ben 10, Power Rangers: Dino Thunder, and a little known Image comic called Johnny Monster into a blender. Derek Dynamo is the son of a famous scientist who discovered dinosaurs living 100 miles underground. Dr Dynamo also discovered a powerful mineral, which he named “Dynore”. Now, his former partner is trying to claim the Dynore for himself, but his attempts are thwarted by Derek and his best friend, Super Dinosaur. Derek’s got a healthy ego (he thinks everything about himself is “awesome”), and Super Dinosaur is able to be “super” due to a special tech harness designed by Dr Dynamo. It’s high stakes fun and adventure, as tomorrow’s technology is introduced to the lost world of the past.

The Super Dinosaur concept is VERY toyetic, which has a somewhat negative effect on the premiere issue. Instead of feeling like a true introduction to that world, it feels more like a comic book adaptation of a TV show that might be called Derek Dynamo & Super Dinosaur. I can’t put my finger on why, but it just doesn’t feel genuine. At the end of the book, there’s a blurb where Kirkman goes on about how this is an all ages book and how he’s excited about that. While that may be true, it’s an all ages book with an agenda. If handled correctly, this is the kind of concept that pays for summer homes. The 8 year old boy inside me thinks it’s a kickass concept just from the title alone, but he’d much rather wait for the cartoon that the book seems to be adapting. The same way some publishers are using comics as a cheap way to create movie pitches (I’m looking at you, Radical Publishing!), this book feels like Kirkman’s audition to join Man of Action at the big boy table of Nicktoons and the like.

Apparently, a special origin issue of Super Dinosaur will be offered on Free Comic Book Day. I’m not sure if it’s going to change my opinion of the book, but I’m definitely willing to give it a chance. It’s not that I don’t like Super Dinosaur – in fact, I love the idea. I just feel that it has enough potential that it almost seems like a waste to tell the story as a comic. It’s very reminiscent of the done-in-one-season animated concepts of the late 80s/early 90s. Maybe Kirkman’s hoping for more of a shelf life for this one, but it’s hard to tell where this falls on his full plate that already includes Invincible, The Walking Dead, and various other projects.

22nd Mar2011

Comical Thoughts: Ongoing Problem

by Will

I haven’t set foot in a comic shop in almost a month, and it’s a weird feeling. Basically, I found myself in a position where I was paying rent for 2 different places, and just couldn’t spare the money. That said, I don’t really feel like I’ve been missing anything. I was souring on all of the “events” that have come to dominate comics, and it seems the Big Two are busy gearing up for Fear Itself and Flashpoint. Over recent years, I’ve found that I’m growing tired of a lot of ongoing comics. Don’t get me wrong – I still prefer that format over trades and digital, but I find that there are a bunch of ongoings that are just…unnecessary. I understand that publishers are just trying to make money, but there are a lot of books that simply exist only to exist, which can be detrimental to characters and profits.

There are certain perennial books that aren’t going anywhere. Batman, Spider-Man, Superman, X-Men – they’ll always be published in some form or another. They are tent-pole franchises, as they keep the lights on, while adorning the Underoos of kids across the world. A couple of rungs down, you’ve got your Blade, Moon Knight, Azrael, etc. These are characters that tend to serve as decent utility players, but don’t have the depth to carry their own ongoing series. That lack of depth, however, doesn’t keep publishers from trying and trying and trying. As the cover prices of comics increase, publishers can’t afford to keep cranking out these D-list series with no real goal in mind, especially when these series tend to really just be backdoor affiliates to some current event running in other books. Let’s take a closer look at one example of this: Booster Gold.

I love the Booster Gold series, and have been buying it since it debuted following 52. For those not familiar, Booster Gold is a C-list Justice Leaguer who debuted in the 80s. He and Blue Beetle comprised “Team Blue & Gold”, providing the comic relief for the Justice League International. Leading into DC event Infinite Crisis, shit got real when Blue Beetle was murdered. In the subsequent 52 series, Booster gained a higher profile, as he actually became a true hero in the DC Universe. He wasn’t on the level of the Superman-Batman-Wonder Woman trinity, but he had enough clout that he was able to carry his own series for the first time since the late 80s. The book was great…in the beginning.

When Booster Gold launched, it was co-written by wunderkind Geoff Johns and former New Line exec Jeff Katz. That team handled the first year of the series, and it was later turned over to Booster’s creator, Dan Jurgens. Eventually, the book was handled by a bunch of guest writers until it was given to former Justice League writer, Keith Giffen. Through all of these creative changes, the character has still been able to grow and mature. At the same time, the book has also experienced several false endings – usually around the time a new team was about to take over. After the second one of these, it became apparent to me that the book could end and I really wouldn’t care. After all, these teams had provided a good bit of closure, and it almost seemed wrong to just pick up and go in another direction with things. It was also around this time that I realized that the whole Booster concept was being repurposed.

As I said in the beginning, Booster was always a bit of a joke. A hero from the future, Booster was actually a disgraced former football star who’d found himself as a janitor. Stealing a bunch of hero tech, he traveled back to our time to find fame and fortune. Along the way, he became a true hero, but that doesn’t really become realized until the events following the death of his best friend, Blue Beetle. When the post-52 series launched, it had an interesting hook: due to all of the timeline problems of the DC Universe, Booster would be the one to make sure that the timeline was protected from threats and anomalies. Due to the delicate nature of his work, he pretended to still be a bumbling glory hound so that no one would pick up on his mission. This was all a neat, new angle for a character that had been somewhat one-dimensional since his debut. Then, something happened: Booster became the lynchpin for a bunch of DC events that, while temporal in nature, diluted a lot of what had been built up in his solo book. First, he was dragged into the Vanishing Point miniseries, which was connected to The Return of Bruce Wayne, even though it finished weeks after that storyline had completed. Next, Booster was responsible for getting the Justice League International team back together in the bi-weekly Justice League: Generation Lost series. Next, he’ll be an integral part of the Flashpoint event. While a high profile character like Wolverine or Spider-Man can be pulled in different directions like this, Booster’s not strong enough to carry all of this. If DC wants him in all these minis, why not cancel his book?

They were finally on to something when Booster was given his new, “secret” mission, but now that’s all been put aside for these Universe-spanning minis. To really retain the shine on Booster, maybe they should just put him on a shelf until he’s needed. Maybe lose him in the time stream until the next Crisis. Listen: Don’t KILL him. Don’t make a big deal out of a death you know will be reversed in 5 years. Just “lose” him, to add suspense. After all, they could only pull him out when it’s a big deal, and his reappearance would tip off readers that something major was about to occur. Why continue to waste him in a monthly capacity when it’s clearly not what you seem to want to do with the character? I’ve come to believe that a book should be launched with a goal in mind, and Booster has reached his goal many times over. While there will always be threats to the timeline, pulling him into more and more meaningless crossovers isn’t going to raise his profile, but rather overexpose him. Booster Gold hasn’t been a stellar seller since that first year, and now it’s clear that they’re just going to publish it until the numbers drop below that magic number. Instead of just coasting along to that point, why not just take him off the board for a bit?

I think my mindset may have been affected by the fact that I’ve been reading more Vertigo books in recent years, and they tend to have concrete endings in store. As long as they aren’t killed by low sales, a Vertigo series tends to last between 60-70 issues, toward a specific ending. Over time, I’ve just come to believe that some stories should end. I don’t expect to see a final Batman or Superman story, unless it’s some sales gimmick/dream sequence/alternate reality tale. Other books, though, like Booster Gold, Red Robin, New Mutants, and Namor: The First Mutant can just end. They’re cashing in on their affiliation to successful franchises, while not adding  any value. In many cases, they serve as the expansion ground for B-level crossovers that don’t really help the starring character/team in any way. They’ll simply be published, without any real master plan, until the sales drop below a certain number – at which point the events in those books will be either retconned or forgotten.

In many cases, the writing’s on the wall long before you see “FINAL ISSUE” in the Previews solicitation blurb (usually, a pretty good indicator is when Fabian Nicieza becomes the writer on a book). So, I’ve had to ask myself: “Do I really want to be on deathwatch for this book, or is it time that I did something better with my $3.99?” I tend to watch the sales figures every month to brace myself for what’s on the chopping block. Once that Vertigo book drops under 6,000 copies, they’re not even gonna make their money back on the trades, so that’s a wrap.

Sure, well-written comics can have low sales, but diluted brands and characters can also result in low sales. For example, the comic blogosphere claims that Thor: The Mighty Avenger was the greatest thing since internet porn, but nobody was buying it. In this case, it had nothing to do with quality, but rather the book got lost in a deluge of pre-movie Thor books that Marvel unleashed on the market. Figure out a plan for your character and stick with it. Less is more, movie release be damned. Publishers rarely match up releases to successfully capitalize on movie releases, and this is another example of how it’s a delicate science. You’re damned if you’re caught with your pants down (1st X-Men movie), you’re damned if you have too much product (Thor), and you’re damned if the studio keeps moving the release date of the movie (Whiteout).

At the end of the day, Marvel and DC are making their real money off of Batman & Robin and Avengers. The sales of these books allow them to take chances on things like Secret Warriors and Simon Dark, but is it really worth it when these books hit the stands with the taint of impermanence? When they cancel these books, they like to blame the readers, by saying that “the audience just wasn’t there”, but I find it hard to believe that the publishers ever really believed in a lot of these books. These things aren’t getting any cheaper, so why am I supposed to support a book when it seems clear that the publisher doesn’t even care about it? I mean, c’mon, Jim Calafiore? Instead of only focusing on the characters that sell Underoos, maybe they should put some of the new characters on some of those briefs. After all, licensing is the holy grail, but it’s said that readers don’t want new characters, so none of the new ones “graduate” to lunchboxes. Maybe, if they reversed the process and put a bunch of new characters on lunchboxes first, it would inspire people to want to learn more about those characters. Then again, who am I to say that? I’m just the fool who’s been spending his money on these things for the past 20 years. Well, I think I’m going to be a bit smarter about the ones that I buy from now on.

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