First up, we've got these tabloid-sized specials, know as History of Comics Vols 1 & 2. These were created by fan favorite comic artist Jim Steranko, and they used to be advertised as mail-away items in old comics from the 70s (I guess they were also sold in book stores, but I don't really know much about the 70s books tore scene). Anyway, from what I've ben able to find out, the versions I got are known as Volume 1B and Volume 2B, since they don't have the title written on the cover. What makes this buy even more special, however, is the fact that my copy of Volume 1 is signed and numbered by renowned Italian filmmaker, Frederico Fellini. You see, he wrote the foreword to the series, as he had been a big fan of Steranko. Now, do I have a certificate of authenticity? No, but I don't really care. If I need to, I can just take it to Gold & Silver Pawn and have Frankenstein Randy Travis do some handwriting analysis on the signature.

I love the Power Rangers. Now that we got that out of the way, I've been tracking down old morphers like it's my job. I'm not even looking for them, but they keep popping up at thrift stores. I stopped buying most PR toys about 15 years ago (which was still too late in the minds of most people), but I used to really be into the Zords and morphers. Hands down, Power Rangers morphers were my favorite role playing toys. These used to retail anywhere from $10-15, but I've been finding these for roughly $1 each. Still operational and everything. To top it off, they're models that came out after I stopped buying, so I've been able to restart my collections where I left off. What you see here, from left to right, is the Time Force Morpher, Ninja Storm Wind Morpher, some kinda bootleg Dino Thunder Morpher, and the Overdrive Tracker.

My love of Batman is pretty well-known. I thought I had stumbled upon something awesome with this lunch box, as the date on the decal is 1982. It certainly looked pre-Super Powers, which would place it before 1985. That said, the decal doesn't jibe with the rest of the package. You see, the latch is incorrect. I stopped getting these lunch boxes in the very early 90s, at which point they were still using a metal latch. The latch on this one is completely plastic, placing it later in the decade. Still, aside from all that Pawn Stars babble you didn't ask for, it was still a nice find for 99 cents!

This is Max Ray, from the 80s cartoon The Centurions. I've been on the lookout for these because, just like Radiohead albums, you never see them at yards sales and thrift stores. This figure was pretty incomplete, as he didn't come with any of the accessories that fit into the holes situated all over his body. Despite all that, I'm still pretty happy to own this guy, as he always reminded me of Tony Stark.

I always told myself that if I ever won the lottery, I'd buy one of those replica wrestling belts that costs $300. I'd wear it to church, court, to the bathroom. Don't care. Referred to as "The Strap" by the professionals, I'd always have it slung over my shoulder (no one ever wears it as an actual belt!). Well, I've yet to win the lottery, so I don't have one of those belts. I never wanted to pay the $15 for the crappy kids version at retail, but I had no problem paying 99 cents for one! The belt that I chose was the Intercontinental Title, and I did so for a reason. You see, everybody wants to be The Champ. Everyone thinks they're Triple H, or John Cena or The Rock. I'm honest with myself. If I joined the WWE tomorrow, I'd NEVER get a shot at the WWE Title. I could, however, get the Intercontinental belt. That was the belt you used to get for beating Goldust or The Mountie. That's more my speed.

I hated leaving these guys behind, as I think I'm probably America's biggest straight male boyband fan. That said, I didn't want these at $10 apiece. I'm pretty sure they didn't cost that much when they were originally offered by Best Buy (they were promo items), and 'NSYNC merchandise isn't really on the rise. So, I had to say bye bye bye to them. Yup, I just said that.

Thanks for tuning in, and come back on Thursday for a special Thrift Justice surprise!

In some circles of popular culture, it's believed that the four women of Sex and the City represent the types of women that men are looking for out in the world. Whether it's demure, girl next door Charlotte, career-driven, slightly man-hating Miranda, sexually aggressive Samantha, or the anomaly that is Carrie Bradshaw, one of those women is supposed to be the perfect match for every man out there. Given those options, I feel that most men are searching for Charlotte in a world filled with Mirandas and wannabe Samanthas. Am I wrong? Of course I am, but that's because that's not a well-rounded group from which to choose. That theory just doesn't work there, as the selection is limited. I'll tell you, however, an area of pop culture that got it right: boybands. Outside of music concerned with rhyming "alone" with "phone", boybands were created according to a perfect science, where they offered something for every girl out there. Whether she wore short skirts or t-shirts, whether she was the cheer captain or on the bleachers - there truly was a boyband guy for every girl. Let's take a closer look, shall we?

First up, we've got the Cute One. He's the one selling the concert tickets. He's not always the lead singer, but he's singing at least half the songs. That one's easy - he's there because he's "dreamy". Just like David Cassidy and Michael Jackson before him, he's the one whose name is being doodled in the notebooks of the nation's teenage girls.

Next, we've got the Bad Boy. He's got tattoos and crazy hair. He might even have an odd obsession with aviator goggles. He sings a bunch of hooks, and operates under the "less is more" doctrine. After all, he's too busy getting tattoos and buying new aviator goggles to be up in front like the Cute One. For all the girls who like a walk one the wild side, this one's for you.

Then, we've got the Shy One. He *usually* doesn't necessarily do much 'cause, you know, he's shy. Also, years later, everyone will have to feign surprise when he also turns out to be the Gay One and/or the REALLY Religious One. He's not comfortable in the spotlight, as he's trying to keep a lid on his secret. Once it's revealed, however, it'll open up a whole new fan base for him and the group. Anyway, he's for the girl who falls in love with her gay best friend.

You've also got the Older Brother. He was the guy who was working at Universal Studios the longest, and probably helped recruit the other guys. He doesn't sing much, but he's guaranteed a slot due to his assistance in recruitment. Once the whole boyband thing blows over, he won't be making appearances on E! red carpet, but he'll have a nice ranch in Montana somewhere. He's the safe choice - the provider. He's not into glitz and glam, as this is just a job. He hasn't forgotten his roots, and he understands the value of loyalty.

Finally, you've got the Other Guy. This can mean a lot of things. Maybe he's the Halfy, for a little urban flavor (but not too much flavor).

Maybe he's the minority variant of the Shy One.

And don't forget the Goofball! He's got a sense of humor. Bitches love a sense of humor.

At the end of the day, he doesn't do much. He's #5, and his sole role is to provide symmetry on posters and in dance routines. Should the Older Brother decide to leave the group, the Other Guy's role becomes more prominent. By being ill-defined, he provides a bit of mystery that is different from that you get from the Bad Boy. With the Bad Boy, you never ask "Why isn't he singing?" You already know the answer: it's either "He's gonna sing the bridge" OR "'Cause he didn't feel like it". With the Other Guy, you'll constantly hear moms asking "Why doesn't the Mexican boy sing more?" He's an anomaly, but because of that, he can be whatever you need him to be. He's the guy nobody notices, so he won't have an ego. He's just waiting for a woman to come along and make a "project" out of him.

If you have the right balance, you have this:

But if the balance is off, you end up with this:

If done right, there's something for everyone. If done wrong, someone's preference is being neglected. SCIENCE!

On a recent roadtrip, Lindsay and I decided it would be fun to have a bit of a singalong. Since she had actually seen them in concert back in the day (I'm STILL jealous), I didn't have any qualms putting Backstreet Boys: The Hits - Chapter One in the CD player. For the uninitiated, or for those with "musical taste", Chapter One was essentially the Backstreet Boys' first "greatest hits" album - I say "first", because there's bound to be another, even though they haven't really had a "hit" since the albums covered by this disc. In any case, the odd thing about the collection is that the songs aren't listed in any meaningful order - or are they? Usually, a common approach to these collections is to list the songs chronologically, so that you can hear the evolution of the artist's sound. Here, however, they just jump around between the self-titled debut, Millennium, and Black & Blue. After a while, however, I began to see a narrative taking shape. After a closer listen, I decided to get down to what the collection was really trying to say.

1) I Want It That Way: It's clear why this was the lead track, as this was hands-down their biggest hit. The song, however, makes no sense whatsoever. Sure, you can try to say that you know what it means, but even by pop standards, it makes no sense. This is further exacerbated by the fact that there's a European cut that flips the script on the entire song - instead of "tell me why I never wanna hear you say", it's "tell me why I love it when I hear you say". That version even changes up the lyrics. And no, it's not a remix, as they're both marketed as "I Want It That Way". Talk about a cultural divide! So, bottom line is it's a catchy tune, that heralded the release of their second album, Millennium, which broke the record for most units moved in one day (which was later surpassed by 'NSYNC). Fine choice for #1 on the album.

2) Everybody (Backstreet's Back) [Extended Version]:  Again, this placement is a no-brainer. While "I Want It That Way" was their biggest single, "Everybody" is the song that put them on the map. A lot of people don't realize that this track wasn't initially on their debut album. If you were one of the early birds to get the album, the track doesn't exist. The song came out in the spring of '97, as it was the lead single on their second European album, Backstreet's Back. When the single took off, it was added to the later pressings of the US version. Anyway, as a career-making single, it's fine at #2 on the disc.

3) As Long As You Love Me: This is where it gets interesting. By no means is this their next most successful single. Sure, it was popular, along with it's face morph music video, but it wasn't as big as some of the songs that would come on the next album. That's where I start to notice a narrative. You can either decide they're singing to their fans OR to a particular girl. Either way, the result's the same. This is where the begging starts. Desparate to begin this courtship, BSB start pleading their case. They don't care about past transgressions. She could've been a whore, a dancer, or a Mormon - it's all forgiven as long as she loves them. This begging continues for the next four tracks:

4) Show Me The Meaning of Being Lonely: Things don't seem to be going so well for BSB. They're feeling a little down in the dumps, but they're not giving up yet. And they're seeing dead people everywhere!

5) Quit Playing Games (With My Heart): Pulling themselves up by the bootstraps, BSB have decided that they've had enough, and they deserve better than what they've been getting. Girl, you'd better figure out if we're gonna do this or not! I'm a MAN!

6) All I Have To Give: Uh-oh, they're begging again. She must've caught them digging through her trash. They're so distraught here that their grammar's all over the place! "Does his gifts come from the heart?" And y'all wonder why she won't return your calls! She was an English major!

7) Larger Than Life: A happier, bombastic tune. Not only do things seem better in the relationship, but it's a thank you song. BSB realize they couldn't have gotten here without her/us. Sure, it's a thank you note to the fans, but it also works in a more intimate context. The video, however, had NOTHING to do with this, preferring 90s production values and creating a dance party on a space station. Sentiment's still there...somewhere.

8 ) I'll Never Break Your Heart: Now that everything's going well, this is the "rose petals leading to the bedroom" song. BSB decided to turn down the lights for something a little romantic. A declarative song, they promise they'll never do any wrong. It's us, together forever baby!

9) The Call: AAANNNNNNDDD they fuck it all up. Apparently, the relationship was going too well, and they got bored. So, they decided to sing an entire song elaborating how they were now cheating. It would've seemed edgy had Usher not cornered the "boastful cad" market prior to the song's release. Nothing indicates the peak of a career more than the moment the artist turns on his fans. Up to this point, BSB had declared their love for each and every young girl in the world. They'd begged and pleaded. Now, they're telling all these girls how they're cheating on them with their cuter, skinnier friend. You know, the one who goes down all the time. But don't worry - they'll be home when they're done. BSB never quite bounced back from that boastful ditty.

10) Shape of My Heart: So, it seems she's given the guys a second chance. After all, it was just that one time, and his phone really was dropping out - the battery was low! So now they're back to begging. They're apologizing without going into detail about what it is they did. It's like a Hollywood press conference: "Looking back on the things I've done, I was trying to be someone. I played my part - kept you in the dark. Now, let me show you the shape of my heart." Can't you just see someone reading that, as Gloria Allred stands next to them?

11) The One: Now that the scandal has settled down, they're back to making promises. Basically, they're reiterating everything said in "I'll Never Break Your Heart", but to a peppier beat. If they were married, this is the part where they'd start talking about having another baby, 'cause that'll solve alllllll their problems...

12) More Than That: A reiteration of promises. This is the kind of sentiment that follows her catching them looking at the babysitter the wrong way:

"Do you think she's prettier than me?!! I see how you look at her!"

"No, baby! Who wants to be around pert breasts and a youthful outlook? Surely, you jest!"

13) Drowning: So, how does this tale end? Well, we don't know. Instead of resolving the narrative, the album ends with "Drowning". The trick to this song is that it's really just BSB saying "Who do those O-Town kids think they are? Let's show 'em how it's done". From a music theory perspective, Drowning is really just another interpretation of O-Town's "All Or Nothing", complete with the same piano intro. They're really earnest about it, so as to keep us from realizing it's the same song, but I know better!

So, I guess if you want to know whatever happened to this storied relationship, you'd have to buy their more recent albums. Yeah, I knew you didn't care that much. You really should buy 'em, just to help Nick Carter buy a new trailer.

Seriously, I don't really understand what has become of humanity. In a world where there are natural disasters, Wall Street corruption, and Sarah Palin to worry about, why are people directing their anger at this child? Unless you've been living under a rock for the past year, then you're already familiar with Justin Bieber. He's the pop star du jour, adored by teenage girls from coast to coast. Like many North American heartthrobs, he's a cute blond kid, with a slightly prepubescent voice. For some reason, though, he has become quite the hate magnet. People love to hate this kid! Why? I think it says a lot about our society when people just full on hate someone/thing, even though they really have nothing at stake in the matter.

When we were in middle school, it was the "masculine" thing to hate on a pop star. "Eww, the New Kids are gay!" Yes, this was an ignorant and homophobic time, but you grew up, learned the error of your ways, and laughed whenever you saw that same band on I Love the 90s. Today, however, it's an older crowd getting in on all the ridicule. I don't feel that Bieber is so pervasive that he interrupts the flow of your daily life. I haven't heard him on the radio in months. Sure, I see his face on magazines in the store, but I also see Angelina Jolie equally as much. Why doesn't someone tell her to stop adopting babies, so Mila Kunis can have a shot at a magazine cover?

Can someone over the age of 21 honestly tell me what their beef is with Justin Bieber? Seriously, don't you have better shit to do with your life? Don't you have a job and bills to pay? He's a kid. Sure, he's beloved by millions, and he's worth more than you, but he's a kid. Yes, his voice is shrill, but it's changing. For all of his perceived "faults", you still can't justify your irrational hatred of him. Plainly put, you're a hater. Just own up to it, rather than waste the time to unravel the mystery of his celebrity. Teen Heartthrobs aren't supposed to make sense. They aren't. There are few requirements: cute, no aversion to attending Teen Choice Awards, and did I mention "cute"? That's it. If you're an adult, you're already out of your wheelhouse, as he's not for you. Teen Heartthrobs prey on the irrational hormones of teenage girls. If you're a grown man or woman, weighing in on how you feel about something made for children, you might as well go off and "spread democracy" in some 3rd world country, since you know everything.

How old are you? 30, you say? How about I call your parents, and ask them about those phone bills when you kept calling the Coreys on that hotline? You forgot about that dumb shit, didn't you? But we let you off the hook, 'cause you were young. At least "Beliebers" have the internet, so their shit is free. You kept Ma & Pa Bell in business with your shenanigans! Sure, grown ups probably thought there was something wrong with you, but they remembered what it was like to fawn over Frankie Avalon or whatever. They had bigger shit to worry about, like The Cold War and New Coke, than to weigh in on how much of a waste of space Corey Feldman may have been.

Sure, you see Bieber's name a LOT. You also see his picture a LOT. As far as music goes, you kinda have to work to hear a Justin Bieber song. They're not played in every gas station or Dennys. If you hear a Bieber song, you're either in Claires or you're listening to pop radio. If you're so anti-Bieber, you had no business doing either of those things.

Anti-Bieber Fever seems to have even spread to corporate levels, as demonstrated by Twitter's recent changes to their Trending Topic algorithm. Say what you will, at the end of the day, it was an anti-Bieber initiative. People had complained that they were tired of seeing him trending all the time. If that's what people were tweeting about MOST, why shouldn't it trend? I'm tired of hearing about the various wars we're fighting, but I can't complain to NBC and ask them to shift shit around so we only get news about anything other than the wars. Sure, Twitter gave some PR response about how and why the change took place, but now we're left with runner-up Trending Topics, which are usually about some obscure Korean boyband and their new song "Jelly Rainbow Overdrive (Love Stars)" or something.

Nobody hates Hanna Montana this much, and the same people would say that she "sucks". Is Disney protecting her? Just from a purely business standpoint, this is a kid who built his way up from YouTube, sparking a bidding war between Usher and Justin Timberlake. It's a technological Horatio Alger story! Those are two guys who know something about the music business, so they must see something in him. Had he been some kind of money grab promoted by Joe Francis, I'd probably be on the side of the haters. That's just not a union that I would be able to get behind - like if Chris Brown opened a Pilates studio.

Is it his look that bothers you? It's not all that uncommon these days, but I still encounter people who can't stand his look. Well, he looks just like that lesbian barista at that fair trade coffee place you pretend to like. So, maybe you should stop boycotting Target and take some time to deal with your issues.

Something odd has happened with this generation, where passion has paved the way to elitism. In music criticism, as well as that of comics and movies, no one is willing to agree to disagree anymore. You can't have an intelligent exchange with anyone who disagrees with you - it quickly descends into who can say "that sucks! You have no taste" first. This is bad enough with the layperson - spurred along by gamer culture and the prevalence of high-speed internet. It gets FAR worse with the opinionated, self-proclaimed "expert", spouting, "I am right and you are wrong. And dumb. And shouldn't be allowed to breed." I've seen this shit happen! Life's too short, and there's too much to really worry about, than to devote the amount of time and hatred that many do toward Justin Bieber and the like. A lot of this is coming from the "cultural elite", but why is their shit protected while everyone else is fair game? How'd you like it if I started raging on how fat Hurley was on Lost? Motherfucker was on that island for how long, and never lost a pound. "But he was hoarding food..." FUCK YOU! I'm shitting in your sandbox now, and you don't like it, do you?

So, before everyone starts running their mouths about who does and doesn't have talent, as well as what is and isn't culturally worthwhile, why don't you take a minute to process all the bullshit that you've been involved with that didn't hold much water? Leave Justin alone. He's not for you. That's fine. Just be classy about it. You're an adult, so act like one.

P.S. Stop getting high and watching Spongebob. That shit's played out.

When last we met, I covered Solid Harmonie and their place in the long line of forgotten groups from Trans Continental Records. For every 'NSYNC, Backstreet Boys, and Jordan Knight, there was C-Note, The Lyte Funky Ones (LFO), and Natural. Well, this week, I want to talk about that last group, Natural.

When it came to bubblegum pop, one of the biggest gripes from the "music snob community" was that the artists didn't play their own instruments. As far as boybands went, Lou Pearlman had already delivered the harmony group (BSB), the dance group ('NSYNC), and he decided to finally give the critics what they felt had been lacking: a boyband where the members played their own instruments. Since their acoustic foundation would give them a more "natural" sound, that became their group name.

Natural came about after Lou's boyband empire had peaked, post-BSB/'NSYNC lawsuits, and right around the time of O-Town. There are conflicting reports as to how the group actually got together, but the main point is that Lou did what he did with most of his boybands: he sent them off to Germany for grooming. When you get down to their look, they were just like every other boyband: there was the blond, sensitive one; the edgy one, with the spiky hair; the one who's your mom's favorite, etc. The gimmick, of course, was that they were a band made of boys, but not a boyband. To break it down, they acted as if the music came first, while avoiding some of the common tropes of that era's boyband, such as smooth dance moves. In execution, the music came off as "BBMak, by way of California Dreams".  It's very reminiscent of Guys Next Door (am I the only one who remembers that old NBC show?).There's definitely a camp factor, as the songs are cheesier than Velveeta, but they're damn catchy! It was a different sound, as this period was still dominated by the sound of Max Martin, and the rest of the guys are Cheiron Studios. While there were cutsey pop acts of the time who depended on a more acoustic sound (The Moffats, the afore-mentioned BBMak), most of those groups failed to really make a dent in the landscape. Trying something different may have been the wrong call for Natural.

Keep It Natural, like so many other lost Trans Con albums, was released in Germany. Here's the video for their first single, "Put Your Arms Around Me". Hey, remember the days when every TV show/movie ripped off The Matrix, even in cases where it didn't fit? Wait for it...

Bet they're wishing they hadn't taken the red pill...

In the US, the single was released as a promo in Claires stores, yet wasn't universally released until the exclusivity window closed, resulting in Natural not getting much airplay outside of Orlando.

Musically, Natural weren't "bad", per se - especially in the pop climate of the time. It just seemed that they were being molded, visually, into something that they were not. The next single, "Will It Ever", wouldn't have been out of place on Backstreet Boys' Millennium album. You'll notice, however, the addition of another forced dance break. The cut scenes and wacky angles are meant to mask the fact they they are not 'NSYNC 2: Electric Boogaloo.

This video is a crane shotstravaganza! With a hint of Liquid Dreams...

One of the final singles from their debut was "Let Me Count The Ways", which ended up as their highest charting German single (#11). Again, this is a pretty catchy song, but it's not the kind of thing being delivered by their labelmates in the States. I will admit, though, that this video may have hurt them. I know Europe is a bit more liberal with things, but what is she, like, 14? These boys are so lucky they were out in a pre-Chris Hansen world...

We were just gonna watch some movies and hang out. Well, yeah, I brought beer...

Natural went on to release another album, It's Only Natural, before parting ways with Lou. That's when things really got ugly. Lou tried to keep the "Natural" name, as he was going to replace the guys who had broken his boyband rules (no facial hair, no girlfriends, etc). Meanwhile, the guys tried to rebrand themselves as more of a rock group, but nothing came from it. Neither album was released in the US, and Natural's only real impact on North America was that their 2 lead singers provided the singing voices for Bart & Millhouse in the boyband episode of The Simpsons.

At the end of the day, Keep It Natural is a really enjoyable pop album. It's not representative of the "2000 Boyband Sound", and that may have been a blessing and a curse. It set Natural apart from the countless other boybands, but it simply wasn't what the audience wanted at the time. I always feel I have to reiterate that the reason I do this column isn't as a "This Is A Thing That Exists" piece, but rather it's an attempt to show value in something that may have originally been overlooked. This music isn't going to change the world, and it's not groundbreaking. At the same time, it also doesn't require you to follow a tweets for hidden meaning, nor does it force you to wonder if the guys eat truffle fries. It's good old fashioned "Hey, 'phone' rhymes with 'alone'" pop. It's catchy and it's fun - definitely earworm material. Sometimes, a cigar is just a cigar, and pop is just pop. I, for one, don't see anything wrong with that.

In this installment, I bring you the self-titled debut (and only) album from Solid HarmoniE. Aww, look how cute it is that they misspell it as "HarmoniE" - that's so the capital letters spell out "SHE". Yup, this group's all about women's empowerment, or as empowering as you can be while doing flips in a sports bra and track pants. Before we get to that, let's rewind a bit. You see, Lou Pearlman's Transcontinental Records wasn't ALL boybands. Lou wanted to conquer all corners of pop, and he had an assembly line in place to do just that. Former NKOTB manager Johnny Wright handled the boybands, while his wife, Donna, handled the female groups. Of those female groups, only two were notable: Innosense, due to the fact that Britney Spears was briefly a member prior to going solo, and Solid HarmoniE.

Solid HarmoniE was a four-woman pop group, with most of its members hailing from the UK. They followed the Lou Pearlman Model, which meant going over to Germany to gain an audience before being unleashed upon other countries (he had previously done this with Backstreet Boys,*NSYNC, and would later do it with Natural) . This album comes from that stint in Germany. Despite being teased on a Jive Records VHS sampler from '98, the album never got its US release.

As far as sound goes, Solid HarmoniE is pretty representative of the bubblegum era, yet it brings something new to the table, as there wasn't a defined "FEMALE bubblegum sound" at the time. So, this allowed them a lot of wiggle room, as far as genre was concerned. At its core, Solid HarmoniE is a fusion of Wilson Philips harmonies, combined with that last drop of Girl Power the group managed to suckle from the spent teats of the Spice Girls. It also doesn't hurt that they worked with the producer who helped define the 90s bubblegum sound, Max Martin. As a result, this album is chock FULL of hits, all of which you've heard before, but with different lyrics. I was going to post the video for their first single, "I'll Be There For You", as it's built over the chord progression of one of my favorite pop songs of all time, "Tearin' Up My Heart". Unfortunately, the video's a piece of shit, even by 90's standards, filled with the aforementioned track pants and...is that a crystal ball? So, here's one of their better songs, "I Want You To Want Me":

My favorite was the one who looked like she probably worked the front desk at the nail place. Yeah, the thick one.

The Wilson Philips influence comes through on "I Wanna Love You":

Hey, Look! Production Values!

After failing to break out internationally, the group broke up around '99, with its members scattered across other soon-to-fail girl groups. Seriously, the bubblegum era was not a good time for girl groups; that fan base LOVED seeing 5 cute guys dancing, but they didn't give a shit about the girlband equivalent (see: SheMoves, Wild Orchid, Innosense; exception: B*Witched). If you wanna learn more about SHE, well,good luck -there are only about 2 websites dedicated to them on the entire internet. I mean, I had to knife a hobo and solve a riddle before I could track this thing down. As a collector of all things 90's-Era Max Martin, I have to say that it was totally worth it. At the end of the day, I still don't understand what caused the Powers That Be to pull the plug on the US release. I mean, in a world that tolerates the Pussycat Dolls, there's sure as Hell a place for Solid HarmoniE.

Oh, what the Hell...

We've got a variety of fun & flirty women, just waiting to talk to you. Call now!

We're coming up on the 7th anniversary of my entry into the world of blogging. Seven years ago, I was 2 months out of college, looking for something to pass the time during my temporary data entry job. Fast forward 7 years, and it's now something to pass the time during my unemployment. Hmm...As some of you may have noticed, I've been gone a while in order to work out some kinks behind the scenes.

Ya see, It all started when I found out I had to move platforms. I'd been using Blogger since the beginning, but they no longer want to waste time on anyone publishing via FTP. So, we had to move on over to WordPress (hence the new look and features). After migration, I realized that the site really wasn't that searchable. There were things I'd think about writing, but I would find myself wondering if I'd actually already written it and just plain forgot. So, I took a LOOONG stroll down memory lane, and reread each post, adding searchable tags to everything.

Over the course of this project, certain things stood out to me. For example, I apologize a LOT. Whether it was apologizing for not writing enough, for writing too much, or just for having a public pity party, it was all pretty pathetic. So, going forward, I'm going to make a conscious effort not to do that. I don't owe y'all nothin'.

I also deleted some posts, be it they contained dead links or they were just unnecessary. There was a time when I adopted a "write like no one's reading" mentality because, well, no one was reading. At that point, the site devolved into a bit of a livejournal clone. A lot of "Why doesn't she notice me?" or "Happy first day at work, baby" posts. I had honestly forgotten how some of the stuff read, but I would have people say, "So, I was reading some of your old posts..." Those relationships ended, the world kept on spinning, no need of leaving all that up there. I've got NOTHING against self-deprecating humor, but a lot of those posts didn't accomplish anything. They weren't funny, and they were usually written in response to a "Why don't you ever write about me on your site?" conversation. So, most of those are gone, but I doubt you'll even miss them.

I also used to make a lot of promises: "The San Diego posts are coming soon" or "I'll get to that story later". I haven't gotten to my Toy Fair experience YET, and that was in 2008! If I don't feel like writing it then, I probably won't feel like it later. I shouldn't tease posts, as I can only write when I *feel* like writing about something. I can't force it. So, certain "teased posts" tend to come out 6 months later or, in many cases, never at all.

Even worse are all of the promises of an upcoming redesign or renewal of interest in the blog. I don't do the design stuff, so I'm at the mercy of my friend, Jenn. Most of the times I posted those promises of a new layout, they happened to coincide with times when she had absolutely no time to even care about this site. The site has really only had about 3 different incarnations, yet I promised redesigns like they were annual treats. So, I made a lot of empty promises, and ended up looking like more of a huckster than a poor man's Stan Lee.

What really stuck out to me were all of the things I've actually *never* written about. For example, I thought I'd written more about my time at Diamond, but I guess I didn't want it to become fodder for comic gossip sites, so I kept a lot of it to myself. Now that I'm pretty much never working in that industry again, maybe there are some good post ideas there.

Anyway, I also notice that I do a lot of these introspective posts, like the one you're reading now, usually on a "milestone". As narcissistic as I may be, I really don't like these kinds of posts. You don't wanna read this kind of shit! In the words of Depeche Mode, "Though things like this make me sick, in a case like this I'll get away with it". Now that it's all out of my system, I know why you're here: you want to read about my love for TNBC, comics and boybands. That's the stuff I love to write about, and if this ain't your first time here, then you already know it's the kind of stuff you came here to see. I just needed to get this out as a bit of a "state of the union". To steal from a played out United Negro College Fund commercial, "We can't know where we're going until we know where we've been." So, on with the show. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Could it be? Is that an Obama endorsement from Williambrucewest.com? No, it's not. But it does lead into this little tidbit: Major props go out to my man, Marcus, for recommending "Welcome to the New Administration", the new, FREE mixtape from Fall Out Boy. A thinly-disguised prObama project, the collection not only drops snippets of the upcoming Fall Out Boy album, Folie A Deux, but it also introduces you to the music of some of their musical friends, like Panic at the Disco, Tyga, The Cab, and others. The new FOB album sounds tight, and I certainly wanna hear more from Tyga. EVERYONE should download this package, and you can get it free right here: http://www.friendsorenemies.com/web/foe/users/falloutboy/ It's worth it just for Luda's interlude alone.

Did y'all realize there's a rapper named "Niggalas Cage"? I shit you not! In fact, he's even got a track with Akon right now, called "You're the Reason". If you ask me, they should've recorded a track called "Kon Air".

Speaking of Akon, he's on one of the hottest tracks on NKOTB's new album, "Put It On My Tab". I recently posted a Facebook status saying that the album "doesn't suck", but after repeated listenings, I've got to admit that it's HOT. It's got that 'NSYNC circa "No Strings Attached" vibe going on. And the guests on it are pretty surprising: Akon, New Edition, Pussycat Dolls, Lady Gaga, Ne-Yo. It's a great dance album, and one of the best pop albums released in recent years.

While we're on pop, TRL is shutting down. Man, that kills me, but it's time. The TRL model isn't appropriate for what passes as "pop" these days. Before, it was a crowd full of screaming teenage girls, clogging up Times Square, for the chance to catch a glimpse of dye-job, curly-q Justin Timberlake. TRL works best when pop is at its most "bubblegum". Sure, you can still have Chris Brown drop by, but Daughtry and the rest of Top 40 radio are more suited for VH-1. Even the teen stars being cranked out, like Jordin Sparks, are more suited for an older crowd. TRL, like the early WB, used to MAKE stars. Now, it's merely a shadow of its past self. MTV claims the show is just "going on a break", but anyone who's ever been in a relationship knows what that can mean. I think it'll reappear, though. The UK had a similar show, Top of the Pops, which was on the air for over 42 years (!). Eventually, the formula got stale, and they put it on time out. Like TRL, the BBC promises it, too, will one day return. Maybe their returns will coincide.

That BET R. Kelly interview is priceless! I love the look on Toure's face. The entire interview, his face is screaming, "Is this nigga for real?!"

So, last night, I watched The Temptations for what must've been the 10th time. I don't know if VH-1 planned to show it all along, or if it was to honor Norman Whitfield, the prolific Motown writer/producer who passed away yesterday. Let's hope the reason is the former, as the miniseries doesn't exactly portray Whit in the best light. Hell, I just realized that it doesn't portray anyone in a positive light...except for Otis Williams. Seeing as how Otis is the only surviving founding member of the group, the movie was written from his perspective. That said, it took me all these years to realize that it is the most masturbatory, self-congratulatory thing I've ever seen. There are WAY too many private scenes between Otis and random characters, as they have heart to heart talks where the other person thanks Otis for being the force that holds the group together, or thanks Otis for putting on the pressure when the less-disciplined needed that sort of monitoring. Everyone dies in the most heart-wrenching, tragic ways, even though most of the Temps' families have disputed the accounts of their relatives' demise, especially in the sensationalized account of David Ruffin, who's shown thrown in front of an emergency room, from a moving limo, after overdosing. They say karma's a bitch, so it Otis did make this stuff up, I'd say he'd better watch his back. Nothing like having 4 ghosts in leisure suits coming to get you, dancing slowly in formation. That reminds me, though - I've been working on a Leon/David Ruffin post for the better part of 2 years now. I should probably do something about that.

Watched Baby Mama the other night. This comes as no surprise, but I LOVE Tina Fey. She's pretty much playing Liz Lemon from 30 Rock, which is what I've come to believe is the real Tina. The sexy, smart, insecure funnywoman. This movie, however, not that great. It's not bad, but it's not good. I don't think it makes the most of any of the cast's strengths, and it could've been better, Honestly, it's about what I'd expect from an SNL movie, but I kinda wanted more, considering Tina wrote it, and she WAS head writer of SNL for about 9 years.

Got a lot on my mind, but I'm gonna wrap things up with this thought: a lot of people go through life with a dream. They go on with their day-to-day lives, but in the backs of their minds, they have a "what if?" idea that they never act on. Now, what happens when you act on that, and you find you're not good at it? Are you better off knowing that? One of my dreams was to work in comics. I felt that it was something I was BORN to do, and I'd kick ass at it. 2 years later, and I realize I wasn't that good at it. I always said I'd write a book about that experience, called Diamond in the Rough: My Life in Comics, but I don't have the patience, plus nobody'd want to read it except those in the industry, and it's gonna piss off most of them. Instead, I'm sure my ideas for said book will probably trickle onto the site over time.

Anyway, how did I come to this conclusion? Well, if any of you have ever read the Previews catalog (NOTE: Previews is a catalog that ships ever month, informing retailers/fans of upcoming comic books so they can place orders - I used to help make that catalog), you might've seen a segment in the middle called "Featured Items". Those were the 16 items, NOT from Marvel or DC, that we felt "every store should buy". We'd have monthly meetings where we'd sit down and go to war over who should receive this honor, even though John Q. Public really didn't give a shit. Us giving an "FI" to Red Sonja #25 isn't gonna make retailers buy more copies. If Sonja dies, or flashes a tit, THEN retailers are gonna buy more and sell them for 3x cover price right out of the box - they ain't doing it because of some faceless company in Maryland.

These "discussions" (and I use the term lightly) always got heated because no one respected anyone else's choice. Plus, there were the politics. Certain publishers are guaranteed a certain amount of FI's due to their contracts with Diamond, so our hands were a bit tied at times. I can't tell you how many times we gave an FI to Dynamite for "To Be Determined". They might have this book ready, but it's more likely it's gonna be late, so we'll give it to Book X. We got into the business of supporting companies rather than books. We were given the explanation that certain companies were poised to be the next Marvel or DC, so we needed to support those. I understand the need for growth and encouragement, but who would replace those companies that were about to "graduate". We were so focused on Dynamite and IDW becoming the next Marvel and DC, but I always felt we lost sight of the fact that someone would need to groom the next IDW and Dynamite (which ain't necessarily a good thing - grooming the "new Dynamite" is akin to discovering Super AIDS). I like to think a lot of my FI choices were focused on "the next generation", yet we were always told that we "weren't looking at the bigger picture". Eventually, it got to the point where the meetings were no longer seen as productive, and were done away with. Instead, we had to send our choices/arguments to the team managers, and they would decide based on the evidence we'd provided. Seeing as how this took place behind closed doors, we never really knew what went down. We were simply to trust that they'd make the right decision. That's how things were when I left.

Well, the other day, I found out that the FI meetings had been reinstated. It seems that the main reason the meetings had been done away with was because the FI picks submitted by me, as well as another former brand manager, weren't seen as strong or deserving. Now, I don't know if that's true, or if I was easy to blame because I'm no longer there to defend myself. Even still, it kind of hurts (and somewhat surprising) that I was divisive enough to derail a process that had been working for years, which is magically reinstated the minute I'm gone. I stand by my decisions, as I think some of the most surprising, engaging stuff is going to be coming from the Oni's and the First Second's. Because so many of those situations were presented in vagueries, I had no idea it was my ideas that were hindering the process. If someone had just told me... That said, I still think Scott Pilgrim 4, even though it's the 4th in a series (a bestselling series, mind you) trumps the adaptation of some videogame sequel that's delayed by months. That's how I played the game, and how I felt it should be played. I don't know if it's the bloggers or the small press crowd getting to me or what, but I thought I was looking out for the industry, while the gatekeepers of the industry weren't on the same page. So, was I truly born to work in comics? I don't know. I don't think so. If I was, it certainly wasn't in the capacity in which I was working before. Langston Hughes once pondered what happened to a dream deferred. I, on the other hand, am trying to figure out what happens to a dream deflated...

What a day, what a day...I've decided that a good chunk of commercial real estate brokers are assholes. Anyway, that's neither here nor there, as we're here for other reasons.

- Saw Tropic Thunder tonight and it was HILARIOUS. There's slight buzz about this movie, due to Robert Downey Jr.'s blackface role. Truth be told, the role is supposed to be uncomfortable, as that's part of the movie. Anyway, I really think that 2008 is shaping up to be the Year of the Downey, while Stiller whips out "Blue Steel" one more time, AKA you get the same from him as you've come to expect. One of the best parts of the movie is at the very beginning, with the faux trailers. Where else can you watch Iron Man put the moves on Spidey?

-So, I was driving home tonight, and "As Long As You Love Me", by Backstreet Boys, came on the radio. Now, a lot of people already know this, but when I was 15 I was a boyband fanatic. I wasn't gay for them or anything, but I kinda saw it as something that I could do one day. After all, boybands were popping up each week, but it wasn't until O-Town (well, 5ive, if you count those bi-racial dudes) that we got a group with a black member. I always kinda wanted to be the first.

Anyway, "ALAYLM" was MY song. When I was all of 15 and lonely, I'd put that song on repeat and just think of how nice it would be to find a girl who just loves you for you. I've learned, in the 11 years since, that that song is a BIG case of "be careful what you wish for". Sure, I wouldn't care what they had done, as long as long as they loved me. Then, I got involved with a string of girls whose pasts I couldn't get over. It turns out I did care. Whether it was drugs, promiscuity, or racial friction, I learned the hard way that, for me, it did matter where they were from and what they had done. So, that makes me shallow. Maybe I'm immature. At least I know who I am now. I learned that I hold myself to a certain standard, not that I'm better than anyone, but I have my expectations, as does everyone else. These days, I really think that song is 3 minutes and 42 seconds of bad advice. Sure, it's got good intentions: don't judge - love will find a way, but that's bullshit. Love conquers a lot, but it don't conquer all. Remember that.

- I believe that Hulu.com might be the greatest site on the internet. Not only did it introduce me to Joss Whedon's full Dr. Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog (God, I wish I'd seen Rent when Neil Patrick Harris was in it!), but it also streams 2 things that I've been searching years for: Team Knight Rider and Son of the Beach Season 3. I'm sure that Universal will one day get around to releasing TKR (we just missed its 10th anniversary), but I doubt we'll ever get a release of SotB Season 3. The first 2 seasons were released at the dawn of TV DVD releases, and the sales were pretty bad. I figure if That's My Bush made it to DVD, we deserve to have a complete set of Son of the Beach! And California Dreams and USA High, while we're at it!

Another gem on Hulu is the complete series of Young Hercules. The forgotten 3rd series in the Hercules/Xena Saga, it stars Ryan Gosling as a young Kevin Sorbo. Now, when Hercules: The Legendary Journeys began, I was kinda pissed because I didn't feel that Sorbo was jacked enough. He had brawn, but I expected him to be built. Well, imagine how much worse it was when we were given scrawny-ass Ryan Gosling to play a younger version. I'm probably the biggest male Young Ryan Gosling fan., but I'm not quite sure this show was the best use of his talents. Forget The Notebook; that guy was oozing charisma on the Mickey Mouse Club. Sure, Britney, Justin and Christina went on to be stars first, but when you see Ryan, he knows he's too good to be there and he just looks bored. Next, check out Breaker High, where he "out-Zack Morrises" Zack Morris. Anyway, Young Hercules is still a pretty damn good show, especially considering it was created for kids, to fill the timeslot following Power Rangers. I highly suggest you check it out if you're a fan of the Action Pack shows.

- New Knight Rider series trailer released at San Diego Comic Con. Apparently, K.I.T.T. will transform into different Ford vehicles, he gains a new Super Pursuit Mode, and the Turbo Boost is coming back. I also love the new logo. That said, I still stand by the fact that this is not a network show. Sure, they'll benefit from the larger budget, but this thing just feels like a Saturday afternoon syndicated show on your local CW affiliate- one of the bad shows, that used to come on between The Lost World and Mutant X. NBC, it's no longer 1982! You don't have Brandon Tartikoff at the helm anymore and that shit just won't fly. Stop rehashing your old ideas! Next, they'll be casting Dakota Fanning in a Punky Brewster remake, only they'll make her an edgy runaway or something.

-Speaking of San Diego, maybe it's just the way that it's being reported, but I get the impression that this year's con wasn't so hot. The comic announcements were pretty mediocre, and the movie stuff surrounded projects we already knew about, such as Wolverine: Origins. I'm not hearing anything about record attendance, or even seeing any good pictures. I know blogs, like Newsarama, are moving to Video Blogs and Twitter feeds, but I'm just not really hearing anything necessarily positive about this year's show.

-Can anyone tell me the whereabouts of Natalie Merchant? We haven't heard from her in ages. Something tells me she's busy in a cabin somewhere, cutting up magazines and creating death threat notes to send to Norah Jones.

-I simply had to share a conversation I had with Keith tonight. The power's out in parts of Timonium, and I was trying to convince him that this was a sign for him to go hook up with this chick who's clearly bad news (why do I want him messing with a girl who's so bad? I like drama).
Keith: So, you're trying to tell me that this is a sign from God that I should go hook up with this girl?

Me: Not "God" God. A lesser god. I think it's the Egyptian god of pussy, Pusiris.

Well, I thought it was funny...

-I'll end tonight with a note on family. A few weeks ago, I attended a family reunion on my dad's side. While there, I learned that Buffy's principal is my cousin. Yeah, the black one who banged Faith. Turns out David Bryant Woodside, AKA D.B. Woodside, AKA The Bad President Palmer, has got some West blood in him! That was pretty cool to hear. Too bad he wasn't there. Also, today would've been my dad's birthday. 82 years old. I shit you not. I hope to God I have my kids at a "normal" age...

Yeah, that quote isn't as proselytizing as you might think - it'll make sense to my "comic people". See? I haven't totally given up talking about comics! Anyway, seeing as how only 1 person reading this even reads comics, let's move on to music:

-So, the New Kids are getting back together. Who the fuck cares? This might come as a surprise to some, seeing as how I'm "Mr. Boyband", but NKOTB sucked. Sure, I love all of Joey McIntyre's albums, and I still love some "Give It To You" from Jordan Knight, but vocally the New Kids were a shitty group. Just like the Jonas Brothers. The songs are catchy, but not well-sung. I understand the hype and girls thought they were cute, but I am only looking forward to this if their music has matured. Knight and McIntyre have put out a handful of impressive albums over the last 10 years, and I'd like to see this reunion take that approach. Instead, though, I'm pretty sure it's going to be a bunch of 40 year old men, revisiting their "hits", telling me I've got The Right Stuff. Anyway, we already have an old-ass group for that; they're called The Backstreet Boys...

-Um, excuse me...Mr. Webbie? So, she "never smells like onion rings"? Oh, that is romantic as Hell. You, sir, are truly a poet! Gotta say, though, I think I'd prefer her smelling like onion rings rather than Parmesan cheese. Been there...

-A lot of shit can go down in a club. You can kiss. You can grind. Hell, you can fuck. But let's get our semantics straight. You cannot, however, make love in the club. I don't care if you suggest it through song; it ain't happening. The chick who would agree to it is just gonna wanna fuck, plus the singing would weird her out. Meanwhile, the chick who'd appreciate the song is just gonna be offended that you want to do such a "special thing" in such a filthy environment. Nice try, though, Usher.

-Damn, Sara, I get it; you're not gonna write me a love song. I got it during the first verse, but you just never know when to let shit go!

-You ever stopped and stared at someone? It freaks people the fuck out. I wonder how many fights that song has started. It's the same way "Apologize" was run into the ground against dudes who didn't even know they'd done anything wrong. Across the country, female Myspace profiles were ablaze with the song, while guys were left wondering, "What did I even do to your crazy ass?". It was one of those revenge songs just begging for a reason to be put into action. That song was the musical equivalent of the red phone...

-Suffocation's a big theme in pop right now. Sara Bareilles has her head underwater, as the breathing get's harder. Jordin Sparks is trying to figure out how to breathe with no air. Is this a cry for help? Should Clive Davis be worried?

-If that song is the 4 minutes that we've got to save the world, then we're already doomed. Plus, the radio version's only about 3 minutes and 26 seconds, so there's a trick timer on whatever doomsday device we're up against. Thanks, Madge...

-I've fought loving early 90's rock with a passion, but I've always secretly liked it. I mean, I was there. I like some Better Than Ezra. Was a fool for some Oasis. However, I'm just learning that DC 101 might be the best station on air right now. Oh, remembering the times when dances and book reports were your biggest problems. Listening to Green Day before they became all political. And don't forget "Black Hole Sun". That genre revolves around "Black Hole Sun", and anyone who says otherwise is a damn liar!

-This is a bit older, but Mario Vasquez's "Gallery" always rubbed me the wrong way. So, you're basically telling her that her man has got a ton of girl's who're just as hot or hotter than she is, so she should leave him and come with you instead? Sure, you're trying to empower her by telling her that she's worth more than that, but it's also a whiny, low blow. "C'mon, he's got a ton of girls! Let me get a shot!" It's the song equivalent of some dude's last call attempt at getting a girl to go home with him. Newsflash: she's still going home with the dude with the Gallery. But you and Usher can do some shots over your lack of success that night.