12th Oct2011

Adventures West Coast: Complete Strangers In Paradise (Pocket Edition)

by Will


Oh, Strangers In Paradise! This is one that I’ve been dreading for some time. I’d always wanted to read the series, as it was THE indie darling of the 90s. Most of all, it was always at the top of all those “Which Comics Would My Girlfriend Would Love?” lists. A few years back, the series was collected in a bunch of digesty “Pocket Edition” books, so I saw that as a great time for me to give them a shot.

(courtesy of Comics Bulletin)


Strangers In Paradise, by Terry Moore,  is really structured like a sitcom. It’s got a supporting cast of zany characters, there are 6 volumes (just like 6 seasons of a sitcom), and it’s got a will they/won’t they? love story. However, for all my TV knowledge, I can’t figure out which network would air this thing. The title isn’t a clever play on words, so it couldn’t air on USA. It’s about lesbians, but not the hot kind, so no Showtime. The plot kinda goes off the rails at points, in Nip/Tuck fashion, but it’s too gyno-centric for F/X. I guess we’ll just throw it on Lifetime between some Meredith Baxter Birney movies.

Here’s the deal: Francine Peters and Katina “Katchoo” Choovanski have been friends since childhood. Francine’s chubby and has low self-esteem, so she dates douchebags. Meanwhile, Katchoo had a rough childhood, so she’s grown into an empowered feminist who doesn’t live by society’s rules. Right there, you’ve got a Thelma & Louise situation, and Katchoo struggles to make Francine see how wonderful she is. Then, you begin to see that there’s more to Francine & Katchoo than just “sista girl empowerment”. A couple of times, they get close but Francine pushes away because she wasn’t raised to think that was OK. Enter David: a struggling artist who falls madly in love with Katchoo, but she’s having none of it, as she’s just not into nice guys. So, there’s our love triangle. David loves Katchoo, Katchoo loves Francine, and Francine loves Katchoo, but won’t give in to those feelings. Simple enough, right? Brace yourself for what’s next.

See, it turns out that there’s more to Katchoo than simply an abusive father. She moved away from Francine during high school, and the details of those years had been a mystery. It turns out that Katchoo was a high class escort, working for madame/businesswoman Darcy Parker. Katchoo was Darcy’s best girl, and they’d even become lovers for a time. Darcy only pimped her girls out to politicians, which earned her a bit of political clout. One night, Katchoo and another call girl decided they’d had enough, and they plotted a way out of Darcy’s empire. They stole some money, and a politician ended up dead. Fast forward to the present: Darcy has figured out that Katchoo stole her money, and sends a bunch of muscle after her to get it back. At this point, Katchoo’s trying to live a normal life as an artist, while trying to figure out if she loves Francine or David. Then, we find out that David is *spoiler alert* Darcy’s brother, who actually knew about Katchoo’s past. Oh, and the muscle sent after Katchoo? It turns out to be her own twin sisters, Tambi and Bambi – sired by the same abusive father. Yeah.

Then there’s some kind of weird flash forward thing, where Francine & Katchoo are now Camryn Manheim & Melissa Ethridge, raising their two adult daughters in a log cabin or something. One of the daughters is trying to be a writer, and she decides to write about the love story of her “2 moms”. So, then the story basically turns into the series finale of Roseanne (remember that? Dan DIED?! Becky actually married DAVID?! Of course Jackie was gay!). So from this point on, it’s not clear if the events are actually happening, or is they’re just the result of creative license being taken in order to make the book-within-a-book more interesting.

I could get into all the side characters, like Casey and Freddie, but they’re just the comic relief, and I’d hate to spoil the INSANITY they bring to the table. Basically, when the story starts to get too heavy, Casey gets a boob job or Freddie gets emasculated by a woman. Haha!

The beauty of all the characters is that they’re flawed. Even a guy like Freddie has a sympathetic side, and you start to understand why he is like he is. I will say, however, that the series is uneven. It goes from Three’s Company to Twin Peaks at the drop of a hat. Not to mention that it’s too damn long. Indie books don’t have to keep the same schedule as Marvel and DC, as there’s more involved with the production of a self-published book. That said, it felt like Terry Moore just got to the point where he was just writing the book to write it; it stopped feeling like it was headed anywhere. There’s even the false ending in volume 5, where you learn that Francine & Katchoo are happily together, with kids. So, why the reset button? It’s not like they had a time machine or anything, so why get temporal with things? The last 2 volumes don’t really make the reset seem worthwhile. We end up with more out of place characters, like Francine’s husband Brad, and his rock star brother, Griffin. If SiP is a sitcom, volume 5 is the season where the main couple have a baby and/or Cousin Oliver/Pam/Seven comes to live with the family. It just wasn’t necessary. Oh, and David gets a brain tumor.

Due to the way that the story ebbs and flows, it almost feels like the periodical isn’t the right format for the book. Its pacing lends itself better to the world of the newspaper strip, akin to Funky Winkerbean or something. I guess it was groundbreaking to tackle a soap opera like this in the comic format. Sure, there had been romance comics in the early days of the industry, but those stories were typically done-in-one tales. This was a multi-year, multilayered story that’s really impressive in scope when you look back at it. I do, however, feel bad for anyone who read this in sequential form, as the story tends to gain and lose momentum almost without warning. In all, it was an impressive experiment to build an indie series around such an intense, soap operatic format, but I don’t know if it resulted in an even, well-rounded story.

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2 Comm
11th Oct2011

Thrift Justice – Strapped For Cash

by Will

I’ve got a great haul from the weekend to share with you, but I’m still writing that up. In the meantime, feast your eyes on some great stuff I’ve picked up recently. Let’s jump right in, shall we?

First up, we’ve got these tabloid-sized specials, know as History of Comics Vols 1 & 2. These were created by fan favorite comic artist Jim Steranko, and they used to be advertised as mail-away items in old comics from the 70s (I guess they were also sold in book stores, but I don’t really know much about the 70s books tore scene). Anyway, from what I’ve ben able to find out, the versions I got are known as Volume 1B and Volume 2B, since they don’t have the title written on the cover. What makes this buy even more special, however, is the fact that my copy of Volume 1 is signed and numbered by renowned Italian filmmaker, Frederico Fellini. You see, he wrote the foreword to the series, as he had been a big fan of Steranko. Now, do I have a certificate of authenticity? No, but I don’t really care. If I need to, I can just take it to Gold & Silver Pawn and have Frankenstein Randy Travis do some handwriting analysis on the signature.

 

I love the Power Rangers. Now that we got that out of the way, I’ve been tracking down old morphers like it’s my job. I’m not even looking for them, but they keep popping up at thrift stores. I stopped buying most PR toys about 15 years ago (which was still too late in the minds of most people), but I used to really be into the Zords and morphers. Hands down, Power Rangers morphers were my favorite role playing toys. These used to retail anywhere from $10-15, but I’ve been finding these for roughly $1 each. Still operational and everything. To top it off, they’re models that came out after I stopped buying, so I’ve been able to restart my collections where I left off. What you see here, from left to right, is the Time Force Morpher, Ninja Storm Wind Morpher, some kinda bootleg Dino Thunder Morpher, and the Overdrive Tracker.

My love of Batman is pretty well-known. I thought I had stumbled upon something awesome with this lunch box, as the date on the decal is 1982. It certainly looked pre-Super Powers, which would place it before 1985. That said, the decal doesn’t jibe with the rest of the package. You see, the latch is incorrect. I stopped getting these lunch boxes in the very early 90s, at which point they were still using a metal latch. The latch on this one is completely plastic, placing it later in the decade. Still, aside from all that Pawn Stars babble you didn’t ask for, it was still a nice find for 99 cents!

This is Max Ray, from the 80s cartoon The Centurions. I’ve been on the lookout for these because, just like Radiohead albums, you never see them at yards sales and thrift stores. This figure was pretty incomplete, as he didn’t come with any of the accessories that fit into the holes situated all over his body. Despite all that, I’m still pretty happy to own this guy, as he always reminded me of Tony Stark.

 

I always told myself that if I ever won the lottery, I’d buy one of those replica wrestling belts that costs $300. I’d wear it to church, court, to the bathroom. Don’t care. Referred to as “The Strap” by the professionals, I’d always have it slung over my shoulder (no one ever wears it as an actual belt!). Well, I’ve yet to win the lottery, so I don’t have one of those belts. I never wanted to pay the $15 for the crappy kids version at retail, but I had no problem paying 99 cents for one! The belt that I chose was the Intercontinental Title, and I did so for a reason. You see, everybody wants to be The Champ. Everyone thinks they’re Triple H, or John Cena or The Rock. I’m honest with myself. If I joined the WWE tomorrow, I’d NEVER get a shot at the WWE Title. I could, however, get the Intercontinental belt. That was the belt you used to get for beating Goldust or The Mountie. That’s more my speed.

I hated leaving these guys behind, as I think I’m probably America’s biggest straight male boyband fan. That said, I didn’t want these at $10 apiece. I’m pretty sure they didn’t cost that much when they were originally offered by Best Buy (they were promo items), and ‘NSYNC merchandise isn’t really on the rise. So, I had to say bye bye bye to them. Yup, I just said that.

 

Thanks for tuning in, and come back on Thursday for a special Thrift Justice surprise!

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2 Comm
06th Oct2011

Thrift Justice – The Case of the Three Jokers

by Will

 

So, last weekend the rain was too much of a nuisance for any of the local yard sales to take place, but I was still jonesing for a treasure hunt. That meant that I had to find someplace indoors, which led me to the Civitan Flea Market. Located in Arlington, VA, the Civitan Flea Market occurs on the first Saturday of each month, from the months of April to November. I checked it out for the first time a few months back, and I liked what I saw. Since it takes place in a multilevel parking garage, it’s open rain or shine. Basically, a vendor pays about $20 to set up in a parking space, and you’re left to just make the rounds. From what I could tell, vendors don’t seem to have “regular” spots, so I walked around to see if I noticed any of the good vendors from my first trip. But we know you’re not here for the words – you’re here for the haul!

Recently, I’ve been buying up all the cheap Calvin & Hobbes books I run across. Here’s a little confession: I really hated C&H up until about 2 months ago. I know most of my peers fondly look back on the series, but I just never “got” it. I think I had the misfortune of always tuning in when it was one of the, for lack of a better word, “preachier” strips, so I just always felt it was overrated. That said, as someone who had a myriad of imaginary friends, this series was pretty much right up my alley. So, I found a collection at a yard sale a few weeks back, which has led to the acquisition of 2 more collections.

As a fanboy, this is one of those things that I guess I’m expected to have read. I’d never really come across it, and it always seemed a little too much of a Sandman gateway book anyway. Since I’m neither a cutter, nor do I work at Hot Topic, I always shied away. Well, on this particular day, I guess I was kinda desperate to buy a comic, and this was the best I could do. The vendor wanted $3 for it, which I felt was kinda steep. Then, she told me that it was for her grandson’s college fund. I couldn’t let the guy suffer through student loans as I had. I forked over the three Georges. Then, I asked her where he was thinking of going for college. She replied, “Well, he’s only 16 months old right now.” Huh. All I could say was, “Well, I guess you’ve got a couple more sales ahead of you.”

I’d seen this book during one of the Borders liquidation sales, but couldn’t bring myself to pay what they were asking at 25% off. This, however, is not only an advance reader’s copy but it was also a quarter! I’m a sucker for preview and promo items, so this was just what the doctor ordered. The seller had placed a sticky note on it, saying it was “Perfect for fans of Family Guy and The Daily Show“. This might just be an oversell – kinda like how every comedy compared itself to The Hangover for a whole year.

If you dare claim there was a better game for the Nintendo Entertainment System, I will slap you in the face and kidnap your dog.

Stallone was supposed to be in Beverly Hills Cop. They decided they wanted to go in another, more comedic direction. He made this instead. And it was GLORIOUS. I love this movie for the odd product placement. Just imagine: Pepsi paid to have one of their soda fountains shot up in a standoff; a Christmas-themed Toys “R” Us commercial is playing in the background, as Stallone cleans his gun and eats cold pizza!

I wouldn’t buy season sets of this show, but I am sucker enough to fall for “The Mike Judge Collection”. Sure, it’s a best of collection, but it’s a multi-disc best of. Plus, I trust Mike Judge. The man went on to give us Office Space and King of the Hill. It’ll be worth it if “Teen Talk” is one of the episodes featured. “I’m Lolita, and this here’s Tanqueray. You boys wanna go back behind the bleachers and make out?”

And now we come to the reason for this post’s title. You may not be able to tell, but this is a deck of Batman Begins playing cards. It was purchased for three reasons:

1) I love Batman

2) I love shiny things/holograms

3) They were $0.25

Now, I knew what I was getting into. The seller told me that someone earlier in the day had counted the cards and that while the deck was missing an Ace, there were THREE Jokers. Now, I’m used to quirky merchandise, so I wondered if it was supposed to have 3 Jokers. I mean, “Joker” kinda means a little more in a Batman-themed card deck, so maybe that was the novelty. Still don’t know. I don’t even play cards!

This is Tri-Klops. He’s from He-Man. That is all.

 

This is Lothor – the “big bad” from Power Rangers Ninja Storm. While he was far from the most menacing villain, I always loved his aesthetic. It’s not everyday you see an evil alien ninja in a luchadore mask. The articulation sucks, like most Power Rangers villain figures, but he still looks cool standing around.

A Nightwing doll! How cool is that?! Yes, I’m calling it a “doll” because that’s basically what this is. Sure, his body is probably based on a G.I. Joe style body, but he’s got a cloth outfit and hard plastic head. He appears to have mustard or something on his chest, but I don’t care. Nightwing doll for $1!

I got this from my favorite vendor. Last time, she had some great Batman stuff, and this was just as cool. If you’re not a comic person, this is an unused cover from X-Men: Alpha, which kicked off The Age of Apocalypse. This event started just as I was getting into comics, and I haven’t experienced something that riveting since. A lot of comic crossovers are cyclical now, but this was actually a fresh idea. Anyway, this appeals to my love of comics, as well as my love of shiny thing/holograms. Oddly enough, I don’t remember this as having a holographic cover gimmick; it shipped with a foil cover gimmick, so I wonder if this was some sort of retailer exclusive.

These came from the same vendor as the X-Men cover. It may not be immediately apparent, but the “Vote DC” poster is actually a promotional item from the Marvel vs. DC event. You’ll notice Batman hiding Captain America’s shield in his cape, as Superman brandishes The Hulk’s pants. Below that is a poster for 1991′s X-Men #1. I collect comic promo items that are typically only available to retailers, so these 2 posters were great finds.

Well, that’s all she wrote for the flea market. Next month is the last one of the season, so I’m pretty sure I’ll go check it out one last time. In the meantime, I’ve got my hands full with the thrift stores. Tune in next time, where I’ll show ya some autographed stuff I came across!

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7 Comm
28th Sep2011

Thrift Justice – I Didn’t Put Away Childish Things

by Will

So, the whole Thrift Justice thing started off strong. I told a cute story about a little kid, and I reminded everyone about Stranger Danger. Then, I dropped the ball. Fear not, true believers! I’m back with more words and more treasures. Here’s what I got during last night’s trip to the thrift store (forgive the pics; couldn’t find my camera, so I had to settle for the phone):

As you can see, it was a run of the mill toy haul. Still, let’s take a closer look at what I got:

First up, we’ve got Apocalypse from the Super Hero Squad toyline. Basically, he’s the same scale as the Spider-Man and Friends line – Marvel heroes in the Rescue Heroes scale for younger kids. These, along with Mattel’s Super Friends, came out while I was working at Toys “R” Us, but I just couldn’t bring myself to pay retail for these things that were clearly made for preschoolers. I have no problem, however, paying $1 for them.

Isn’t he the cutest little genocidal maniac you ever saw? I think I want to give Apocalypse a hug!

Remember how I mentioned Super Friends? Of course you do – it was just a few inches higher on the page! Anyway, here’s Lex Luthor from that line.

And the Spider-Man and Friends line? Yeah, this is Spidey #3. I also have a quick-change Peter Parker and a shiny suit Spidey.

So clearly I’m addicted to “toys made for preschoolers”. This is a new low for me. You see all these guys? I’ve acquired them all over the course of the last month. Still, never paying more than $1 for any figure, I don’t feel too bad about it. Hell, they’re so cute that I’m even mixing universes, and I’m a staunch comic segregationist!

I’m always fascinated by the wear and damage that I find on some toys. While a lot of stuff is in pretty good condition, there are also many items that look like they’ve been to Hell and back. What the Hell did they do to Raphael’s foot? Were they reenacting Roots? Sure, he was a dick, but DAMN!

This, my friends, is a Nerf scope. As my twitter followers know, I’m slowly building a Nerf militia. Ya see, I wasn’t allowed to have toy guns when I was growing up. The closest things I had were the Nintendo Zapper and an old hair dryer that didn’t work. So, when I struck out on my own, as a man, one of the first things I bought was the Nerf Nite-Finder. That didn’t quench my foam lust, however. Luckily, my lovely girlfriend (Lindsay/@specialEteacher for y’all playing along at home), got me the Nerf Raider for Christmas last year. This was soon followed by the Maverick, Long Shot, and Recon. And another Long Shot. Basically, if I found one at a yard sale or thrift store, I bought it. They all had a tactical rail for adding scopes, but you can’t find them in stores or the Hasbro website any longer. So, imagine my joy when I spotted this baby sticking out of the stuffed animal bin at a thrift shop! Lawdy, lawdy I can see! Anyway, got this baby for 69 cents!

Well, that’s enough rambling from me. I took more pictures, but I’ll save those for the next post.

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3 Comm
02nd Sep2011

Justice League #1: A Discussion

by Will

OK, so by now you should’ve read my Flashpoint post. As that was the end of an era, Justice League was touted as the beginning of a new one. I wish I could say that it worked for me, but it just didn’t.

Justice League #1 is chock full of gorgeous Jim Lee-ian action. It’s the kind of stuff that’s really going to hurt your heart when you hear that Jim Califiore’s taking over the art a year from now. Recent series have launched with the big names, but settle into a routine with the journeymen. Anyway, for all the action, there’s just not much substance. It’s reminiscent of Lee’s work on the “Hush” storyline in Batman a few years ago. That was a good excuse for Lee to play in the Gotham toybox, but the story didn’t make much sense. This book didn’t really have a story; this was just an appetizer.

A few nights ago on twitter, Comics Bulletin had a great rant about the folks who’ve been comparing the issue to a television pilot. I can’t even do it justice (no pun intended) by trying to repeat it, so I recommend you hop over to their feed. Basically, though, they said that a successful pilot makes you want to come back for more, while this doesn’t really have that effect. I couldn’t agree more. However, I think I’d like to even go a step further. Justice League #1 isn’t a pilot – it’s the “cold open”, or pre-credit sequence, to the pilot. Sure, there’s a bit of padding in it, but once you get to that last page:


you know that it can only be followed by something like this:

God damn, I love that theme song! Is there any way that Jim Lee could just draw music? I’d preorder every issue! Here’s a little secret about me: I only watch the cold open for Smallville. I’m gone after the theme song. Hell, if I turn it on, and find I missed both the open and the song, I turn it right off. Sure, that was a cliffhangery last page, but I’m not convinced that I shouldn’t change the channel. I’m looking to the next issue to help me make that decision.

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3 Comm
01st Sep2011

Change In A Flash: Thoughts on The End of an Era

by Will

So, that was Flashpoint, huh? Ya know, over the years, I’ve bullied DC by saying they should be more like Marvel. I felt they should be better at social networking and also start leaking their big stories to the New York Post. Over the past year, DC seemed to have heard the same suggestions from others more important than me, as their social network presence increased and they got chummier with the press. I did not, however, say that they should ape Marvel’s storytelling style. At the same time, though, they started recreating Marvel’s starting lineup from 1994. They already had the Kuberts and Fabian Nicieza, but they also brought in former Marvel E-I-C Bob Harras and former X-Men writer Scott Lobdell. The end result is that Flashpoint ends up being Age of Apocalypse by way of House of M. It looks like DC had been paying attention to the competition, but at what cost?

I compare Flashpoint to Age of Apocalypse, as it utilizes the same “alternate reality on the verge of cataclysmic war – comprised of minis and one shots” format. The tone is very similar to that of AoA, plus it doesn’t hurt that Andy Kubert did the art on both storylines. Also, Flashpoint #5 is almost a beat-by-beat retelling of the end of AoA. They even do the “final battle as the bombs go off” thing.

I mention House of M because it provides the setup for the story. Everything changes in a flash, as people are living their lives one way, and a flash of light completely changes their circumstances. Also, HoM did have lasting effects in that it allowed Wolverine to remember his past and, more importantly, it reduced the number of mutants in the Marvel Universe to roughly 198. Flashpoint, similarly, has the repercussion that it sets off an entirely new iteration of the DC Universe.

I’m not gonna do a recap, as you’ve read the book. This isn’t even a “review”, per se, but I did want to share a few thoughts I had along the way, bulletpoint style:

-I know, I swore I wasn’t even going to read this “event”. I felt like the Big Two were just repackaging old concepts, and I didn’t feel like rereading the same old stuff. Then, two things happened. First, it emerged that Fear Itself was basically a Thor story, which just solidified my lack of interest in it. Next, DC announced not only the “New 52″, but also the fact that Flashpoint would be the springboard for all of that. So, excited for the future, I decided I should probably board the Flashpoint train.

In all, I enjoyed the core Flashpoint mini. It moved quickly enough that I didn’t focus too much on characterizations and motivations. I got the gist of it, and I knew that if I wanted more, there were always the spin-off minis. I only picked up the Batman one, though.

-The story’s resolution felt like some kind of marketing mandate to ensure that Flash: Rebirth “mattered”. Even though people trust Johns to dust off these older concepts, nobody wanted Barry Allen back. Nobody. We were all fine with Wally. The ending felt like “See? You didn’t want Barry back, but you couldn’t have had this shiny new universe without him. You’re welcome.”

Marvel does a much better job of making you think that everything was connected in some grand plan. Secret Invasion pays off a plot point from five years prior, and you have to wonder if they got lucky, or if they really did have this planned all along. DC didn’t pull off that magic with Flashpoint. I don’t think Flash: Rebirth was ever intended to result in this, as it was *meant* to pay off in a monthly book on which Manapul couldn’t keep up the pace.

-While I understand that Flash has the power set/mechanics to set this ball in motion, it feels like this would’ve worked better as a Batman story. Maybe they couldn’t do it, as Lord knows Batman’s been through enough in recent years, plus they needed to really reestablish Barry’s importance. Just like Identity Crisis was all about loss, this was about familial ties and the notion that “you can’t go home again”.

The problem is that Barry’s momma drama isn’t as well known as Bruce’s. A man on the street could tell you next to nothing about “Barry Allen”, let alone the fact that his mom was killed. Everyone, however, knows that Bruce Wayne’s parents were killed (even if they think the Joker did it), which led him to become Batman. For true gravitas, and to help Batman move along in a more positive direction, it should’ve been Batman displaced in time, working side by side with his father, as master tactician during the war, yet still getting the closure he has sought all these years. In fact, that would’ve been preferable to the whole Quantum Leap drama of The Return of Bruce Wayne.

-Sometimes I have trouble conveying myself outside of analogies, so I hope you can follow this: let’s say a person has an accident and ends up in a coma. The family mourns initially, but if he’s in that coma long enough, when it comes time to pull the plug, they realize the guy had basically been dead since the moment he slipped into the coma. Still there? How does that apply? Well, I felt like this series would pay off in some kind of grand farewell for the old DCU. Instead, by issue #5, you realize they were basically already gone and wouldn’t be making an appearance. There was no “goodbye” or “that’s all, folks”. Silver Age comics would’ve had silhouettes of the JLA waving goodbye from the clouds or something as the last panel. I think was expecting that “Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow?” ending. What a Hell of a way to cap off an era that was!

Even though all of the solo books wrapped up (some better than others), Flashpoint really was just a Flash book, as none of the “real” depictions of the characters ever made an appearance (with the exception of Booster Gold). I guess I expected some kind of spillover into the “real world”, and the end result would be this weird amalgam of them both. Instead, we learn there are *3* timelines, which are all just hastily combined into one.

-What was that 3rd reality? I recognized the one we were leaving (left page) and the new one (right page), but was that the full 3rd along the top? So, it was Wildstorm and alt versions of 2nd tier characters?

-Barry has memories of EVERYTHING now? That’s a seed for a future storyline, if AoA is any indication. In that story, Bishop was the only one who remembered the AoA timeline, which caused him to go insane down the road.

So, in all, I didn’t hate the ending, but it certainly wasn’t what I was expecting. I guess I could call that a success, as it proves this old dog hasn’t seen it all. At the same time, I’m no more jazzed about the New 52 than I was, and I feel that’s a failing. I admit that I haven’t read Justice League #1 as of writing this, so maybe I’ll change my mind. All I know is that this was billed as the end of an era. Everything renumbered. A shit ton of new launches. A clean slate. All that said, I still don’t feel like Flashpoint truly gave me the chance to say goodbye to what we were leaving behind.

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29th Aug2011

Baltimore Catches Cosplay Fever!

by Will

So, once the 2-part Baltimore Comic-Con epic ended (thanks again, Brian!), I found that I still had a bunch of pictures left from the show. Now I know there are folks out there who do better cosplay posts than I could, but I still thought I’d give it a shot.

                                 Well, the theme song did tell us they were loose…

                                 Ga-Blac-Tus HUNGERS…for Popeyes!

In the newly-launched Marvel Jr line, Kid Kap isn’t sure he’s up to the challenge of Reddy & Bones

In the J.J. Abrams-verse, even Dr. Crusher & Wesley have been rebooted!

She had a giant axe. I’m still not sure if she was supposed to be someone or if it was just self-defense…

It’s nice to see the sistahs come out. Did I spell that right? We don’t use “er”, right? Anyway, She-Hulk was in an awesome JLA Vixen costume on Sunday, as she sat next to me at the Stan Lee panel.

Hey, Mike! Steve! Rob! Aren’t those your moms over there?! Baby Doll looks like a young Meredith Baxter-Birney. If you read that in Chef’s voice, my mission here is done.

I’d say this was “Optimus Prime”, but I can just hear one of you saying, “Actually, that is the King Grandliner Robo” or some shit like that. Well, this is America. In America, we call ALL robot trucks “Optimus Prime”! Put down the Pokemon, and pick up a baseball. U! S! A!

                                The Odinson doth invite you to visit his band’s MySpace page!

                                 Watch out, Miles Morales! Here comes Kid Spidey! And he’s white!

                                 Great costumes, but I guess I was just expecting…more from the Smallville Reunion.

Somebody saaaaave meeeee!!!!!

                                Black Kick Ass! Somebody alert the New York Post!

This pic ain’t fooling anybody. Dude on the right would be too busy banging chicks to be busting ghosts. Dude on the left? Totally a Ghostbuster.

                                Not true cosplay, but it ought to be!

This chick made me kinda salty. You see, she was already posing for someone else, and I just took the picture. She noticed me and said “You have to ask! It’s rude if you don’t ask!” Look, you were ALREADY posing! Costume wasn’t that hot anyway.

Wait, why are we rooting for Thor?! And she looked like Kat Dennings! I would’ve bought every issue of Dark Reign if they’d drawn “Lokette” as Kat Dennings!

As aspiring America’s Top Blerd, I’m required by the King Doctrine of 1962 to acknowledge Blenguin.

Guys, I don’t know about this whole “New 52″ thing…

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25th Aug2011

The Stan Lee Panel – Day 2 of Baltimore Comic-Con 2011

by Will

This is Part 2 of a 2-part saga. In case you missed Part 1, click here: Go ahead, I’ll wait. Done? Good. The following takes place on Sunday, August 21 from 3:00 PM to 5:00 PM.

So I didn’t take part in much of Day 2 of the con. I slept 12 hrs the night before, so I got a late start. I braved torrential rain and traffic to get there right before the start of Stan’s panel. Thanks to that pricey VIP I’d shelled out for, I just walked right in.

Jimmy Palmiotti was hosting the panel, and he asked us to really show Stan how much we appreciated him by giving him a huge entrance. It’s not like Jimmy had to ask – we’re talking about The Man here! Anyway, Stan entered with security to a rousing standing ovation. Once Stan got on stage, he told us that he had caught a bit of a bug over the weekend. He said he’d been talking all weekend, and he was all talked out. This wasn’t a cop-out, however. Instead, he said that he wanted us to ask him questions since he didn’t know what to talk about.

What followed turned into what could best be described as a “love fest”. Fan after fan came up to the mic to thank Stan. Many of them told touching stories of how Stan’s comics had affected them. One guy was a speech pathologist who uses comics to help his clients. One woman was in college to be an animator – inspired by the Marvel comics she’d been introduced to by her uncle. A woman dressed as Poison Ivy shared that she was a military wife, and that her relationship with her husband had bloomed due to comics. He’s currently deployed in Afghanistan, but their shared love of comics helps them to reconnect and strengthen their relationship. It was clear that much of the audience could relate to a lot of how comics had touched their lives, so I almost wish they had orchestrated an audience unison “thank you” to move things along.

Eventually, Stan said that he appreciated the thankful sentiments, but joked that “People keep thanking me for what I’ve done for them, but I didn’t do it for you; I did it for ME! If what I did for me affected others, then great!”

Despite being under the weather, Stan was in great spirits, and the best part of the show was just hearing his stories:

Stan said that Iron Man used to get the most fan mail from women. He said that he believed it was due to the fact that women liked 3 things in a man:
1)Money
2)Power
At this point, a woman in the audience yelled “who drinks!”
Stan said, “Well, that helps!”
3)A woman likes a man who’s got something wrong with him, so that she can say to herself, “Oh, I can fix you right up!”

Stan also expressed his pride in the fact that comics were now accepted in the mainstream. Multiple times, he said that comics used to be thought of as something read by little children and simple-minded adults. He said that was the reason he had changed his name, as he didn’t want anyone he knew to know he worked in comics. He said, “I used to have a real name, a normal name just like you. I was Stanley Martin Lieber. But I was so ashamed that I took my first name, and broke up the 2 syllables.”

An audience member asked him what he thought of the Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark. He answered, “I saw one of the previews. I thought it was really great. I didn’t like the music that much, but that was because not all of the songs were in it. Of course, this wasn’t when people were falling and dying all over the place,” which got a huge laugh from the crowd.

Another fan asked what comic book world he’d like to be sucked into if he had the chance. He replied that he’d like to go to the Archie universe, so that he could have Betty & Veronica.

There were a few moments that were funny in the slight discomfort they caused. One fan said that he was a fan of Ultimo, a manga series produced in Japan by Stan’s Pow Entertainment. He asked Stan what the experience had been like. Stan said that he couldn’t make heads or tails from what was going on in Ultimo. He said that he gave them the beginning of the story, but that he doesn’t even know what’s happening at this point in the story. He said there are plans to bring it to America, and he hopes it comes with an instruction manual so he’ll finally know what’s going on!

As if his candor was a bit surprising, he immediately followed up by saying that “The Japanese people are a hardworking, intelligent and polite people, and I had to learn to bow after every word I said.” You could kinda feel a bit of tension in the room, like when your grandpa mentions how hard working the Mexicans are during Christmas dinner. It seemed like Stan felt it, too, and he quickly recovered with an “I don’t even know what that has to do with what we’re talking about!”

Next, after a fan asked him what his favorite Marvel movie was, he answered that it was the first Spider-Man. Then, he proceeded to talk about Blade, and how he couldn’t remember the writer’s name (David Goyer), but how he had tattoos all up and down both arms. Stan couldn’t believe his arms were absolutely covered, and he said he’d never seen anyone with that many tattoos. Like, he was absolutely amazed by it! Seeing as how it’s Baltimore, and 1 in 5 people in the room had a full sleeve, this, too, was a bit awkward. Again, he recovered with an “I don’t know what that even had to do with what we were talking about. What was the question?”

That exchange did, however, lead to the next great part of the panel. Jimmy decided to ask the crowd if any of them had tattoos of Marvel characters on them. A guy got up, and showed that he had Black Cat and Mary Jane on his arm. At this point, someone in the back yelled out, “What are they doing?!”, which led to a big laugh. Another girl said that she had Marvel symbols tattooed on her. She walked down to the stage and showed that the had the X-Men circled “X” tattooed on both sides of her…bikini area. She got down to the stage, and Stan said “I can’t see it.” She rolled down her pants a bit, and he said, “Oh, I can see it now!” The crowd roared. He said “I thank you, and the X-Men thank you!” As she walked away, he said, “Wait, that’s all we get?” Jimmy piped in “Stan likes the ladies.” Stan countered with, “Yeah, like I’m the only one!”

The panel wrapped up soon afterward, and I made my way back to the con floor. Now, remember how I’d braved the rain and traffic? Well, I had neglected to hit the ATM before getting to the show, as I foolishly thought “I’ll just hit the ATM at the show.” Who knows how this ends? Yup, it was out of money. So, thus began a mad race to hit all the booths I knew had stuff I wanted, praying that they took credit cards. During this time, I also met up with good e-pal @sycobuny, as this has become our annual chance to meet in person. That reminds me that I forgot to mention the great Yo Go Re from OAFE in my last post. He miraculously spotted me out of all the other geeks on the con floor, and I was finally able to put a face to a name. In any case, Sycobuny and I ran around the floor, asking everyone “Do you take credit?” I had a few misses, but I also had a few hits. Feast your eyes on the day’s haul:

As you can see, it’s more of the same from yesterday. More DC Universe Classics, more Marvel Mighty Muggs for the gf. And again, no comics.

In all, it was a great weekend. One of my fanboy dreams came true, I got to catch up with e-pals, and I also got a lot of cool stuff for my collection. Thanks for reading, and thanks to Cool and Collected for making this blog “crossover” a reality. Meet me back here next time, as we’ll probably talk about a bunch of geeky, politically incorrect stuff. Until then, Excelsior!

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18th Aug2011

Thoughts on Captain America: The First Avenger

by Will

So, I’ve been a bad blerd. I want to be the black authority on geekdom, yet I wait a whole month to see one of summer’s biggest comic movies! Anyway, I finally saw Captain America: The First Avenger the other night. Final thought: it was really enjoyable.

Since you all saw this thing weeks before I did, this isn’t going to be a review. After all, you don’t give a shit if I liked it or not. I do, however, want to share a few bullet point thoughts that occurred to me throughout the film. Shall we?

-Dum Dum Dugan! I was so glad to see him, and it wasn’t just a random cameo. The Howling Commandos had a pretty big role in the war scenes.

-Speaking of the Howling Commandos, I *really* wanted Derek Luke’s character to turn out to be a young Nick Fury. I’m ashamed to admit that I totally forgot that the character of Gabe Jones existed. Anyway, if it had been Fury, it would’ve established a preexisting relationship with Cap for the Avengers movie, plus it would’ve allowed Fury to have been a part of the Howling Commandos in movie continuity.

-While we got a battle montage, I really wanted a training montage – mainly so I could figure out when Cap learned to fly planes. He was in the Army, and not the Air Force or the Navy. Somehow, though, he just knew how to fly every aircraft he commandeered.

-Bucky Barnes. While the comics tend to paint him as “Wartime Robin”, I think I prefer that to the film’s “older brother figure who’d steal your girlfriend” persona. I didn’t really like him, and I certainly didn’t like him enough to want to see him as the Winter Soldier, should the movies decide to go that route.

-Man, Tommy Lee Jones has aged into quite the scrotum-faced old man! I mean, it’s almost on a Matthau level. It was nice, though, that he got a comic movie do-over to make up for Batman Forever (yes, I know MIB was a comic, but let’s be honest – nobody even cared until the movie came out).

-I really expected Howard Stark to be a dick. He was not, and I liked that. In fact, I’d really like to know more about the character – but this version, and not the weird, philosophical brainfuck of an origin they’re giving him in S.H.I.E.L.D. at the moment.

-How come movie Nazis always have the coolest clothes? Sure, they’ve got fucked up beliefs, but an unbelievable tailor! I’m pretty sure Red Skull was wearing a leather shirt at one point. Leather shirt!

Not to get all preachy, but I did take something away from the movie: America could REALLY use a symbol like Captain America now. We’ve gotten too jaded and cynical for something like that to work, but people tend to be strengthened by a powerful symbol. If only there were something we could all rally behind. All we’ve got now are the Kardashians…

Anyway, that’s all I got. Enjoyable movie. Not my favorite comic movie or anything, but I’m sure I’ll buy it on DVD. That’s mainly because I’m a DVD whore, though…

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25th Jul2011

So, That Was The Wonder Woman Pilot…

by Will

All of the “real” sites used their connections to see the rejected Wonder Woman pilot right after the network upfronts in May, but I don’t have that kind of Rolodex (does anyone use an actual Rolodex anymore?). Anyway, thanks to a pal on Twitter, I was finally able to see what all the fuss was about. Let me just get my snobbery out of the way: as a student of comics and television, it’s glaringly obvious as to why NBC passed on this show. Even in its position at the bottom of the ratings, Wonder Woman was NOT going to be NBC’s salvation. If The Cape didn’t save them, this sure wasn’t going to do it, either. Honestly, Wonder Woman is more on the level of the short-lived Birds of Prey series.

Few people remember it, as Smallville went on to last ten seasons compared to BoP‘s one, but I maintain that Birds of Prey and Smallville were of the same level of quality. The only difference was that Superman was a more recognizable character than Commissioner Gordon’s crippled daughter/niece and Batman’s daughter (?!). Both shows were on The WB, where it didn’t matter what the shows were about, as long as the people were pretty. With Adrianne Palicki and Elizabeth Hurley, Wonder Woman‘s got that in spades. Also, Birds of Prey struggled with the fact that it was trying to tell a story without being allowed a full understanding of the characters. As BoP was laid out, Barbara Gordon was the former Batgirl who, after being crippled by The Joker, now operates as infojock Oracle. If you’ve read the comics, that’s familiar enough. Next, you’ve got Helena Wayne, who in this situation, is actually the adult daughter of Batman and Catwoman. Oh, and she’s also a mutant. She’s got heightened senses and jumps high and shit, which enables her to patrol the streets as Huntress. Now, here’s the kicker: since Warner Bros wanted to focus on revamping the Batman movie franchise (this was pre- Batman Begins), they didn’t allow Batman in the show (except for a brief sequence in the pilot). So, you’ve got your core cast, whose origins revolve around a concept that can only be danced around. And to explain it in the show, apparently The Joker killed Catwoman. TV Batman was such a punk bitch that he became distraught, and left Gotham City forever. So, what followed were 13 episodes of Barbara and Helena, both inspired by He Who Shall Not Be Named, defending Gotham City in the hopes that He Who Shall Not Be Named decides to stop being a bitch and comes home. Sadly, the show didn’t last that long, but the finale did involve a cool fight scene set to the t.A.T.u. classic “All The Things She Said”.

How does this all relate to Wonder Woman? Well, just like BoP, it doesn’t seem like David E. Kelley was allowed full access to the character. Sure, it’s a Wonder Woman costume, and DC was behind the project, but it lacks an understanding of Wonder Woman. This has been one of the biggest problems for Wonder Woman, as the comics lost sight of what makes her tick quite some time ago. The Greg Rucka era was the last time that anyone proudly read the WW comic series, and even “female character wunderkind” Gail Simone couldn’t get a grasp on the character. I ranted about this at length on twitter, but I felt like they should’ve focused figuring out the answer to “Who Is Wonder Woman?” before committing her to other media, like a weekly TV series. If they had called this show “Donna Troy”, it would’ve worked better. She wears a similar costume, looks the same, and nobody knows what the Hell her deal is. That’s her gimmick! Over the past 30 years, her mere existence is perpetuated on the fact that she’s just a walking identity crisis. Wonder Woman, however, should have a defined mission statement, which is neither present in the recent comics nor this pilot. There’s nothing to “wonder” about the woman in this pilot unless you’re wondering how she got cast. Anyway, here are the thoughts that occurred to me as I watched the show:

-There’s a LOT of exposition, but you’re really only informed of Wonder Woman’s backstory through newscasts and political pundits.  I liked the pundit sequence. Not sure if they actually got Dershowitz, Dr. Phil, and Nancy Grace on board, or if it was just clever editing, but this is what would happen if superheroes existed in the “real world”. If that’s what they’re going for, however, this could be a problem down the line.

-OK, here’s where things get more confusing than they need to be. In the show, Wonder Woman has THREE identities! She’s Wonder Woman, she’s international businesswoman Diana Themyscira (who’s also publicly known to be Wonder Woman), but she’s ALSO Diana Prince, which is the mousy-’cause-she-wear-glasses-and-a-ponytail-even-though-you-know-she’s-really-hot-like-in-She’s All That identity. By day, she’s one of the first two, but by night, she goes home to be Diana Prince, where she watches The Notebook with her cat. Yes, that happens. Since she’s not a lawyer, nor is she in Boston, I’m left to believe that this is the “David E. Kelley Touch” on this project. First off, I don’t think Wonder Woman would watch The Notebook, nor would she ask her cat if she should set up a facebook profile. This is all part of the “Well, she is a single woman, so she’s got needs and is probably lonely.” Family Guy conveyed that best here:

 

I get it. Set up a love story to grab some female viewers, but all that’s missing is the pint of Ben & Jerry’s. Also, I don’t see why she needs a 3rd identity in order to be lonely and “normal”. So, she puts on glasses and hides in her modest apartment so she can pretend she’s making decent lonely single lady money, when she knows that she’s actually a multimillionaire with a penthouse and a multinational corporation? I can understand having a weekend getaway, but this is a bit much.

-I’m the one guy who’s never watched Friday Night Lights, so I have no previous experience with Adrianne Palicki, but I don’t feel this was good casting. She never conveys the strength of Diana.  Instead, she’s soft, and comes across as Kelly Kapowski in a Halloween costume. Her acting is also phoned in. Surrounding Palicki, everyone else feels like they’re over acting. Everyone has a sense of urgency, while she just seems…bored. In my mind, Lake Bell or Missy Peregrym would’ve been stronger, better choices, as they have the look, and they’re still somewhat “unknown talents”, since nobody watched Surface or Stick It.

 

-I liked the color/weight blind casting on Etta Candy, but I know the fanboys would’ve loathed that! They hate Wonder Woman, but still would’ve jumped on that. Plus, I some fangirls would be upset that Etta Candy wasn’t “properly” portrayed as a larger gal…

-This is always going to be a problem when you make an adaptation of a comic character, but the suit doesn’t translate to reality. Batman works ’cause he hides in shadows. Superman works in a way. Wonder Woman just looks like she’s on her way to her shift at The Crazy Russian. Call me sexist, but the suit doesn’t work. You don’t know if she’s gonna arrest you or try to take you to the champagne room.

-I hate Diana’s male assistant, Henry. Had the show been picked up, I feel like he exists solely to be the person close to Diana who gets killed by some villain trying to make a point.

-They say “prick”, “balls”, and “tits” as an attempt to be edgy.

-Can we talk about the political/legal ramifications of the structure of this show? Everyone knows that businesswoman Diana Themyscira is Wonder Woman, yet no one goes after her company in a lawsuit? They kinda address it, when a senator threatens to sic the Justice Department on her. Diana answers that threat by saying that the country’s in two wars, so it doesn’t have time to investigate her. Not only is that lazy storytelling, but it’s another problem with combining real world aspects with comic aspects.

-She fucking kills a guy! I mean, she throws a pipe through his fucking throat! A security guard who’s just following orders! Not a Star Wars guy, but it’s really the whole “independent contractors on the Death Star” debate all over again.

-The villain, Veronica Cale, was experimenting on folks from a slavery ring, yet they were all white males. Not who you usually think of being involved in slavery, even the white kind. So, I guess this is when the show decided to stop trying to ape the real world, huh?

So, in the end, it’s not a horrible show, but it’s certainly not great. Based on production value, this show would’ve lasted 6 seasons in weekend syndication back in the 90s, but sadly that market is dead. It could’ve been in a block with Mutant X, Night Man, and Viper. It might even work as a cable show, but it certainly wasn’t a good fit for NBC. At the end of the day, it’s a serviceable action hour of television, but it’s not Wonder Woman. They tried a different take on the character that just didn’t work. The funny thing is that there’s source material for what they were trying to do: it’s called Ultra. As the first big comic project from The Luna Brothers, Ultra was a miniseries from Image Comics which was basically “Sex and the City with Powers”. Sure, it had dating drama and whatnot, but there was also a lot of action. Based on what I’ve seen here, David E. Kelley would be the PERFECT guy to adapt that series. Wonder Woman, however, just wasn’t the project for him.

 

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