2011 In Review: #New52 Pick-Up
So, I'm usually not a fan of year-end, best of posts, but I feel that we've experienced enough of the DC Comics' New 52 that it's time to revisit it. As the biggest comic event of the year, you may remember I had some preliminary thoughts on the whole venture. Around that time, the guys over at the PowetCast were nice enough to have me on their show to discuss the whole thing. Now that we're four months in, I've got to say that I'm not really impressed. While DC has gotten more press than they have in years, there really aren't a lot of new ideas here. While a few of the new approaches are interesting, I haven't read anything that warranted a reboot. Also, I don't feel like the right questions are being asked by editorial. They seem to be asking, "How are we going to reintroduce Steel?" Instead of asking "Is there even a need/place for Steel in the new universe?" In short, it's more of the same, on a compressed rollout schedule. As I did before the launch, I thought I'd revisit the launch books and give updated thoughts.
1. Justice League - Sure, I like it so far, but I know that it's only a matter of time before the team is filled with the members of the sure-to be canceled Justice League International. I love the team of Johns and Lee, but we're about a year away from it being the team of Milligan and Kubert. That's not a flagship-worthy creative team to me.
2. Justice League International - This book is more painful than Batman and the Outsiders. I considered it to be the Booster Gold fill-in book, but it's not the same Booster. I'm also buying it because Batman's on the team, but I think I'm done after the first arc is done. As an aside, I really thought it would feature the pre-Flashpoint Booster as he deals with his new surroundings. After all, he was outside the timestream as Flashpoint occurred, and actually popped up in that universe. I've read enough comics to know he should be all kinds of fucked up from that. I don't feel like getting to know a new Booster, even if he turns out to be just like the old one. The old one didn't need replacing.
3. Teen Titans - Done with #3. I just can't bring myself to care. DC can't seem to decide if this is the first incarnation of the Titans. I don't like the characterization of Tim Drake, and I don't like the new characters. Done.
4. Suicide Squad - I'm quite enjoying this. While I'm not keen on New Harley, I like that it uses characters that can afford to have liberties taken with them. Had I stuck with Secret Six I probably wouldn't feel that way, but so far I'm pleased.
5. Action Comics - I think I'm done with #4. Never been a Morrison fanboy, and the pacing is rough. I was trying to be a trooper, but we're getting 2 months of fill-ins before the initial story arc concludes. Look, I was a proponent of the fill-in model, but I expect you to get out the FIRST ARC before employing it. Plus, I had to be honest and ask myself "Am I a Superman guy?" Like, will I honestly be reading the book in a year? Unlike Batman, I'm not gonna just buy Superman books out of habit. If it's bad now, it's only going to get worse. Done. Steel introduction this early on? Double done.
6. Superman - I actually find this one interesting, yet it's so damn verbose. Too many damn words. I swear Claremont is ghostwriting this thing. While I know there's a 5 year gap between the events of Action and those here, this does not feel like the same Superman, and that's a problem. The one in Action doesn't even feel like an inexperienced version of this guy. Im hanging on, but will probably drop after the first arc.
7. Superboy - Done with #2. Like with Teen Titans, I just don't care. This isn't my Kon-El, and I don't care enough to get to know him. The Caitlin Fairchild angle almost kept me on, but that just forced it into another unnecessary direction - Gen13 rehash. I'm not saying that's where it's definitely going, but I read the whole "genetically-engineered teen turns against clandestine maker" story back in '94, and it was called Gen13. Pass.
8. Supergirl - never picked it up. This is, what, her fourth incarnation since COIE? Not interested.
9. Batman - look, I like Snyder, but I don't get everyone raving over Capullo. All of his white males look the same - the only difference is height. I've read online interviews where he has said the similarities between Bruce and the new politician guy are deliberate, but that doesn't explain why they look like the same characters he drew in Haunt. He makes Tony Daniel look talented.
10. Detective Comics - Speaking of Daniel, he doesn't suck nearly as much as he used to. I honestly enjoyed his opening arc, even if it felt like he was playing with Morrisonian concepts that he didn't fully understand. He's showing growth, and that's admirable.
11. Batman: The Dark Knight - Why am I buying this book? It isn't very good. This is what happens when you promote an artist to writer just to keep him from jumping ship to Marvel. Every iconic character has a superfluous book, and this is Batman's. This is the Legends of the Dark Knight/Batman Chronicles/Batman Confidential of the New 52. It's for those people who'll buy anything with Batman in it, though it really doesn't move the needle in terms of adding value to the character. I like Finch's art, but I see myself dropping this soon. In my 52 Thoughts post, I said that Paul Cornell or Peter Tomasi would be on it in a year. Well, I was close, as Paul Jenkins is already on as co-writer.
12. Batgirl - I'm pretty much done after the first arc. I thought she was better as Oracle, and what I've read hasn't made me feel like Barbara Gordon-as-Batgirl is even needed. Why not keep Cassie or Steph? The Bat timeline is the most confusing of the relaunch, since we don't know which events still happened. That said, I just haven't enjoyed this. Call me when she's paralyzed again.
13. Batwoman - This book is the comic equivalent of a beautiful woman with no personality. I like looking at it, but the story has done absolutely nothing for me. Batwoman has been around for about 5 years now, and we know so little about her. This isn't done in a deliberate way, either, like with old school Wolverine. Why is she necessary? Why is she wearing the mantle of The Bat? I've said it before, but I'd appreciate her more as an original character called the Asskicktress than as Batwoman, as we still haven't been given a good reason as to why she chose to be BATwoman. She's not likable. The way DC pushes her sexuality, she comes off as a "diversity hire", but I'll admit that the only thing I do find interesting is her relationship with Maggie Sawyer. I'm a sucker for supporting cast members. Still hanging on...for now.
14. Catwoman - Man, did everyone lose their shit over the sex in #1! I admit it caught me off guard, but other books have shown that New 52 Bruce Wayne does fuck. My major concern is that I hope he used a bat condom! Just like with Action, am I gonna be reading Catwoman a year from now? Probably not, but I'll finish the first arc. Like in the past, I'll come back when they rope her into the first mega Bat crossover.
15. Red Hood and the Outlaws - It started out as everyone hating Whorefire, but that seems to have subsided. I dislike this book for another reason entirely: it's just not what I signed on for. I expected Red Hood and Red Arrow to be anti heroes, doing their own thing. I did not expect mystical mumbo jumbo, and I hate that shit. I don't care about mystical cities and revenge and whatnot. Seriously close to dropping this.
16. Batwing - My God this is a good book! Who knew? I was ready to write it off as another "diversity hire" book. After all, out of all the Batman Inc folks, why did HE get a series? That said, I'm loving it. Sure, Winick worked an AIDS reference in by #4, but I'm thoroughly enjoying it.
17. Nightwing - I feel like I've read this before. Sure, the Haley's angle is new, but it reads just like the last Nightwing series, when he moved to NYC. All Nightwing series begin with him doubting himself and finding his confidence. He usually finds it just in time for the next reboot/relaunch. Finishing the arc, but not impressed.
18. Batman and Robin - After Morrison left, this felt like an unnecessary flagship - like when Whedon left Astonishing X-Men. That said, I'm loving this new direction. This is where you get the emotional beats of Bruce getting to know the son he never knew he had. Some may find it unnecessary, but these are the interactons I've wanted to see since Batman R.I.P.
19. Birds of Prey - Dropped it after #1. Just like with Booster and the Titans, I have no desire to get to know this new team. Don't need a new Dinah. Don't care to know Starling. I know some of my online friends love it, but it's just not worth the $3 to me.
20. Green Lantern - I've said this in other places, but #1 felt more like a season premiere rather than a series premiere. What I mean by that is that it was clear that events had occurred prior to the issue - important events. While it was accessible, I couldn't help but feel I was missing something. Considering I'd read the Sinestro Corps War, as well as Blackest Night, that's not a good feeling. I am, however, enjoying the focus on Sinestro. I've never truly seen him as a villain, so I'm enjoying this spotlight on him. That said, I'm probably gone after this arc. GL is written in an almost Marvel way, where one event leads into the next, so jumping off may not be as clean a break as I'm hoping.
21. Aquaman - Really loving it. I'll chalk it up to Johns's writing, but I'm enjoying it so far. I can see myself dropping it eventually, but no time soon.
22. Wonder Woman - Dropped with #1. Chiang's art is gorgeous, but I don't know what the fuck is going on. Mythology is not my bag, as I learned most of it from Hercules and Xena. I just couldn't follow it. I know there are folks out there who eat that stuff up, and more power to 'em. Just not for me.
23. Flash - I'm actually enjoying this arc. I like Manuapul's art, and the story is pretty engaging. That said, I still don't really care about Barry Allen. This is even after Rebirth and Flashpoint. Just don't care. So, I can see myself dropping this after the first arc.
24. Blue Beetle - Dropped with #1. Not in the mood for a new introduction, as it feels like we JUST met Jaime. Also, I get that he's a Latin character, but the book is too in your face with the Spanish. It's off-putting in a way. I hope he opens a lot of doors for minority characters, but he's not for me.
25. Fury of Firestorm - My God this was a piece of shit. Dropped with #1. It's such a cliched mess. I expected the comic adaptation of City Guys, but I expected better dialogue. This needed to happen, though, just to show that Gail can and does write shit every now and then. I know that's a controversial notion to some, but she's human, so she's capable of error. She sucked on Gen13, she sucked on Wonder Woman, she sucked on The Atom, and she sucked on this. Not everything she writes turns to gold. This was a horrible, horrible book. DC seems to think Firestorm deserves to be represented in some fashion, but they just can't wrap their brains around the proper way to do it.
26. Mr Terrific - Dropped with #3. It seemed like most people were reading because they heard Karen Starr was in it. Then, they lost their shit when she turned out to be his fuck buddy rather than Power Girl. While I don't claim to know a ton about Mr Terrific, this ain't the guy I remember. They want him to be too many things. He's black Tony Stark, with a hint of Reed Richards. He's so smart, yet such a disaster. He's about to lose his company, he travels to microdimensions, and he's visited by his supposedly dead son from the future. Plus, the pacing is just all wrong. He proceeds to tell his origin as post-coital pillow talk. It comes off like, "Thanks for the pussy. So, let me tell you about my dead wife." I just don't care anymore. I think folks are now reading it just hoping for clues as to where the new JSA will come from. Since DC has pretty much said that this is where you'll find clues, I don't expect the book to go anywhere anytime soon. I just won't be along for the ride.
27. Static Shock - Dropped with #3. I really wanted to support this book. Fun character, Scott McDaniel art. That said, like Green Lantern, it felt like too much had occurred prior to the series. I don't even know where such events could have occurred, as Static's appearances were irregular pre New 52. It just didn't feel accessible. Started to feel like a chore.
28. Frankenstein - Intriguing ideas, but its tone didn't seem to fit everything else going on in the New 52. I enjoyed the character in Seven Soldiers but that series worked because it was so outside the DCU norm. I might like this as a Vertigo book, but it felt like Hellboy. If I wanted to read a Hellboy clone, I'd just read Atomic Robo. Dropped with #1.
29. Justice League Dark - Interesting, but it's really just Shadowpact borrowing on the clout of the Justice League brand. I don't like magical bullshit, so this was dropped with #1.
30. Blackhawks - a few yrs ago, when they knew they were losing the G.I. Joe license, Devils Due went after the license for The Corps. You know The Corps - they're the G.I.Joe knockoffs that your grandma always gets you 'cause she doesn't know any better. Instead of The Baroness, there's The Contessa. You get the picture. Anyway, they only got out a #0 before they apparently forgot they had the license. Why do I bring this up? It's because this feels like that series. It's DC's Chinese knockoff Joe team. I don't think the DCU needs a Joe team. After all, Checkmate seems to still be in existence. Where does this group fit into things? Tonally, there's just no place for this team, and I don't feel like getting to know them.
And The Rest: OMAC, Captain Atom, Green Lantern Corps, Green Lantern: Emerald Knights, Red Lanterns, Hawk & Dove, LOSH, Legion Lost, Deathstroke, Grifter, Voodoo, Stormwatch, All-Star Western, Men at War, Animal Man, Swamp Thing, Demon Knights, Resurrection Man, I, Vampire, Green Arrow, DC Universe Presents, Savage Hawkman - skipped, no interest
DC also decided to slip a few miniseries out amongst the 52 ongoings. Lately, I have a "no mini" policy, as they rarely add any value to a franchise. If it turns out to be important, I can always get the trade. So, I skipped Penguin: Pain & Prejudice because, well, it's a book about Penguin! I also skipped The Shade because, while the Starman Omnibus series taught me that James Robinson is an incredible writer, with an incredible take on The Shade, it simultaneously taught me that I have no desire to read those characters outside of collected editions. So, I'll skip it for now. There's some scuttlebutt that sales are low and the series may not reach completion, but that's just a risk I'm willing to take. I gave Huntress a chance, but I'm done with #2. People online are raving over this thing, and I don't have a clue as to why. Sure, Marcus To's art is beautiful, but the glacial pacing would shame even Marvel editors. It's going nowhere fast, and I'd just rather save the money.
So, it seems like I just had a lot of bile to spew, but there are some bright spots: Aquaman, most of the Bat books, Justice League, and others. The bottom line, however, was that these results could've been achieved from a creator shuffle and NOT a full-scale revamp. It was GREAT PR, but that's only going to last so long. At this point, the sales have pretty much settled down, with Marvel again taking the lead market share. This tactic may have attracted new fans, but at the cost of old school fans. I'll admit that I don't like change. I'm a curmudgeon like that, but I'll still give things a chance. I'll give credit where credit is due, so I feel there are some bright spots out there for DC. As a whole, however, I don't think there's enough evidence to call this a rousing, long-term success. What I can say is that DC closed out 2011 with a highest profile than they've had since Superman died. At this rate, they'll be the popular girl again by 2032.
Off To See The Wizard…
So, in an effort to sort out my junk room, I decided that I could probably start with my longbox of Wizard publications. I quickly tired of being reminded of Wetworks and Vampirella books, so I decided to focus on my issues of Toyfare instead. For those not really "in the know", Toyfare was a monthly magazine published by the fine folks who also gave the world Wizard: The Guide to Comics (which later rebranded itself as a "Men's Pop Culture Magazine", whatever that means). Anyway, Wizard used to highlight toys, but as the industry ramped up, there was too much to report than the meager 2 pages in Wizard allowed, so the toy focus was spun off into its own magazine. At its best, Toyfare gave an in-depth look at fan favorite toy lines. At its worst, it was a glorified toy catalog. To be honest, "glorified" doesn't even fit, as regular toy catalogs at least listed prices - something Toyfare couldn't be bothered to do in many cases. Anyway, while flipping through the pages, a few thoughts came to mind, and I figured I'd share them here.
-What happened to Palisades Toys? I was never a Muppets fan, but I could respect that they truly paid attention to detail in making those Muppets toys.
-Diamond Select should've been run out of business for those horrible Serenity figures. I've actually said this to DST staffers. They like to change the subject when that line is brought up. I'm no Serenity fan, but I know a slap in the face when I see it.
-Did Hasbro ever present a use for those Jedi Master points?
-Is bbi still around? I remember they used to make those awesomely detailed solider dolls. Sometimes they'd use a Hollywood likeness without ever really securing the rights. So, instead of a Saving Private Ryan doll, it'd be a "World War II Officer" with a Tom Hanks face or something.
-An issue from 2002 stated that we had a better shot of seeing a Thundercats revival before a true G.I. Joe renaissance. Huh.
-The book REALLY started to suck when they took a parody approach to the articles. It was cute for the April Fools issue, but for a good 3 years every article in the book was like a Robot Chicken skit. While Robot Chicken showed that approach could be funny, it just gets tired in print.
-I wonder how many of the toys previewed in Toyfare actually NEVER came to fruition. I know for a fact that King of the Hill Series 2 never came out. That was when everyone wanted to jump on the interactive soundchip playset bandwagon, but I guess Toycom realized they couldn't swing it.
-When they started posting the Complete Photo Guides to toy lines, that made the magazine worth the price of admission.
-Near the end, they were just reprinting the movie articles from Wizard, seeing as how comic movies also tended to have toylines.
-I never realized how many 80s Toy Quizzes they published. That magazine survived an extra 3 years just by jerking off fans to fantasies of a M.A.S.K. revival.
Culling the ranks of the Toyfare stash didn't take much time, so then I cam back around for the herculean task of weeding out the Wizards. After all, I had a complete run for about 10 years or so. Along the way, I noticed a few interesting things:
-Where is Christina Z these days? For those not in the know, she was the first woman to make Wizard's Top 10 Writers List, and she used to write Witchblade back when it was all T&A. That way, whenever someone criticized it for being a T&A book, Top Cow could protest, "No, it's written by a woman!" Her last publicized work was Jenna Jameson's Shadow Hunter. I bet that wasn't a T&A book at all...
-Paula Cole should sing "Where have all the CCGs gone?"
-I don't want anything to do with J. Scott Campbell until he finishes Wildsiderz.
-Brandon Jerwa started his career on G.I. Joe with a fan submission
-I had no idea Fox has been using the "Animation Domination" name for its Sunday block since 2005!
-Broken Promises: Bryan Singer's Ultimate X-Men arc
-Broken Promises: Jeff Loeb & J. Scott Campbell's Spidey title
-Broken Promises: When Bendis left The Pulse, he said it would continue with another writer. This didn't happen.
-Yay! Kubert's on Batman. Surely, he'll have a long run on this book!
-In '03, J.Scott Campbell went exclusive with DC. Can anyone name what came from that? Anyone? No, because NOTHING came from that contract.
-Why did they stop making DC Minimates?
-There was actually an article called "Treasured Chests", where they compared the cleavage of Talia Al Ghul, Power Girl, and some Wildstorm chick.
-Kia Asamiya. Yes, I get that everyone had Manga Fever, but WHO THE FUCK PUT HIM ON X-MEN?!!!
-Broken Promises: Loeb & Lee's promised post-Hush 6-issue arc on Batman.
-Before they diversified their brand with Pilot Season, Top Cow was pretty much just, "Hey, kids! Tits!"
-After Chaos went under, Lady Death went to the Code 6 imprint at Crossgen. Now, she's at Avatar, under the Boundless imprint. Lady Death: She Doesn't Just LOOK Like The Village Bicycle!
-There was an Olympic ad in the March 2002 issue. Like, a real brand, and not some e-store or superhero-inspired motorcycle jackets. The actual Olympics, with the athletes and shit. SO out of place.
-Chaos allowed fans to serve as associte editors on books. They spun it as "interaction", but it was really just cheap labor. They went under soon afterwards.
-Only in 2002 could Joe Mad make the Top 10 Most Influential Artists List. He ranked higher than Sienkiewicz!!!
-Broken Promises: Kevin Smith was supposed to take over Amazing Spider-Man, and JMS was to move over to a new book. Smith also said in interviews that he only agreed if they would allow him to reunite MJ and Peter.
-Broken Promises: Kevin Smith was also announced as the writer of a new iteration of Brave and the Bold just before signing an exclusive with Marvel.
-Based on the number of articles, Fathom "returned" about 12 times, but never actually finished.
-Top Cow has been streamlining its universe since 2001, with no end in sight. The first event, Universe, made Tomb Raider & Fathom part of TC canon...interesting, seeing as how both properties are no longer under the TC umbrella.
-Where is Devin Grayson? Did her career end at the same time as her relationship with Mark Waid?
-I think the best depiction of Rogue was the promo image to her Icons mini. She's strong and athletic - believably 19 (which is the age she's rumored to be), and not a busty, 30-something skunkhead.
-Alicia Witt would've been a MUCH better Mary Jane in the Spider-Man movies.
-Instead of rushing to reprint them, Bill Jemas put the Ultimate titles online, 12 pages at a time, to "reward the readers and retailers who jumped on the Ultimate bandwagon at the beginning, thus making those initial issues all the more valuable." - 2001
-In 2001, Poison Elves creator Drew Hayes signed an unprecedented 50 year deal with Sirius Entertainment. While this was clearly a publicity stunt, Drew would pass away in 2007.
-Casting Call: Geoff Johns cast Heath Ledger as Wally West and Owen Wilson as Trickster.
-Issue #110's letter column only featured mail sent by prisoners.
-They used to have a column called "oops..." where they made corrections to previous stories. This was phased out in later years, as the entire magazine became one giant collection of typos and mistakes.
-Broken Promises: Top Cow got the A-Team rights in 2000. Did nothing with them.
-Did America ever get Bandai's handheld system, the WonderSwan Color?
-They were REALLY pushing for Brendan Fraser to be Superman, as they cast him in 3 different Casting Call articles over the years.
-Casting Call: Tom Selleck as Tony Stark, Kevin Sorbo as Thor, and Howie Long as Cap. This would've been fine...in 1990. They also cast Howie Long as Duke in G.I. Joe. Wizard really liked Howie Long.
-The same character was named "Venus", "Sexbot", and finally "Aphrodite IX"
-Finally, back when DC did the whole Superman Red/Blue thing, a few high profile artists were asked to redesign Superman's iconic suit. One of those artists happened to be Jim Lee. Looks like he's been married to that high-collar design for quite some time...
So, what were your favorite Toyfare/Wizard memories?
Thrift Justice – Lois Lane Meets The TMNT
Last weekend saw the final Civitan Flea Market of the year. As I've written in the past, this neighborhood sale is GREAT for finding collectible treasures. This sale was no different, as I made some pretty sweet deals. Let's take a closer look at some of the booty I scored.
Now, when I get to any sale, I try to pace myself but I have a lot of trouble with that whole process. Whether it's a comic con or a yard sale, I tend to blow my wad too soon, and then end up spending more judiciously as the day goes on. The Civitan market takes place in a 5-level parking garage, and you enter from the top level. I didn't know what wonders might lurk in the depths below, but before I could descend I immediately found myself rifling through a box of Silver Age comics.
I've gotten to a point in my life where I try not to buy old comics unless they're just basically giving them away. Anything under $1 is fair game to me. After all, most folks think their stuff is worth way more than it is, and most of those stories have been retconned 3 times over by now. I do, however, have an affinity for Silver Age DC books. If you pick up Marvel stuff from that era, it's just full of hyperbole and cave drawings, but old DC books were actually...fun. Due to a magnet set that we have on our refrigerator, I've gained an appreciation for Lois Lane comics. Honestly, I feel like DC writers sat around and wondered, "How can make Lois a huge bitch this month?" Those old bastards clearly had some run-ins with the wrong kind of women, and seemed to have an ax to grind. That series is CRAZY, whether she's tricking Superman into a paternity suit or changing her race to be black for a day. I picked up a few some months back, and I found 13 more on this particular day. This batch even included the issue I mentioned where she's black for a day! I actually already have a copy of that one, but I know I'll probably end up gifting it to someone. I told the old lady manning the booth that the books would be going to a good home, for a little boy who loves comics (it's secretly ME! Muhuhahaha!). She cut me a pretty good deal, as I paid $25 for these, as well as the comics you'll see below.
These are some other silver age books I picked up. Back when I first got into comics, I used to buy these grab bags from my local shop that were just FULL of crap. I didn't know any better then, but it would have comics for toylines, like Visionaries, as well as old All-Star Squadron and issues of canceled series. I remember getting issues of The Secret Society of Super Villains and Kobra, and loving them. So, I had to jump on the issues you see here. I probably already own that Brave and the Bold (I bought a bunch of them at a con a few months back that I still haven't processed), but I'll buy any cheap Batman comics.
Not quite "Silver Age", these are some 80s era comics I got. Again, more cheap Batman. I believe that's the final issue of Ted Kord's series. It says "The Final Adventure", but that could just be comic hyperbole. There was a time when you could always count on Superman to have dynamic covers, and this is a great example of that. He's begging, in an alley! How can you pass that up? I probably have that issue of X-Men, but I'm a sucker for 80s Uncanny. The way I see it, the $25 was for the Lois Lane books, as $2 an issue was a great deal; the rest of this stuff was just a bonus.
The series that wouldn't die! Fans brought this thing back to life more than I can remember, but that must say something about its quality. I've never read Spider-Girl, but I was always curious. Plus, it'll give me more Adventures West Coast material. I'm not sure if this is the very first collected edition, but it does include issues 0-8. Plus, I got it for a dollar, so it's not like I could shake a stick at that!
Let me clear something up - I am nowhere near a "gamer". My newest system is the PS2, and I use it primarily as a DVD player. Lindsay and I had a Rock Band/Guitar Hero phase, but I don't really get into games. I do, however, pick up games when I find them A) interesting and B) cheap as dirt. Somewhere along the line, I forgot that I'm in a relationship, so the concept of "downtime" doesn't really exist anymore. Still, in my mind, I have this vision of playing video games all night, while drinking Smirnoff Ice. When I come across a cheap game, I think to myself, "Would I enjoy playing this game, while sipping on a cool malt beverage?" I didn't even know this game existed, and it appears to be the precursor to the popular Red Dead Redemption. The guy sold it to me for about $3, so that was enough for me. I'll probably never play it, but if I ever feel like reenacting a Western, at least I'll have it.
I'll admit that this was an impulse buy. While I collect Batmobiles, I've passed on this thing at many a thrift store. I found it at a booth that usually has a lot of great comic stuff. Remember the comic posters and Age of Apocalypse cover from the last flea market post? Yeah, that booth. Anyway, at that time, they'd assured me that they would have a ton of comic stuff at this sale, as it's the last one of the year. I went just looking for them. I get there, and this is pretty much all they had. It had a sticker on the hood, guaranteeing me that "it works". I can't even verify that at this time, but it's a big-ass, battery operated Batmobile monster truck. Yeah, I'm kind of ashamed, so let's move on.
So, I'm wandering through the aisles, and I find myself at a dead end, with this TMNT Lair playset sitting on a table. I start looking at it, as I've never really seen one of these in person. I didn't really pay much attention to TMNT, as that was the incarnation for kids of the '00s. For me, I only deal in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Show some respect, and spell that shit out! Anyway, as I inspecting it, the seller comes by and asks, "Would you like that big thing?" I proceeded to tell her that my fiancee would kill me, but she keeps on pressing. She tells me that it wuld be 50% off. That's when I see the price tag: $3.00. I ask her, "So, wait, you mean this would only be $1.50?!" She says that is correct. Well, now you understand why I currently own a Turtle Lair playset. Back when the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Sewer Playset came out, my mom gave me a choice: I could either get it OR get the G.I.Joe General. I was more into our American heroes, so I chose the latter. The General's sitting out in our shed, as I get to fill that void with this newer Turtle playset.
So, there ya have it. I'll miss the Civitan Flea Market, but you better believe I'll be there on the first Saturday of next April! Coming soon, I've got another installment of Thrift Justice:YSE, where we'll talk about some of my greatest yard sale FAILS.
Adventures West Coast – The Flash: Rebirth
I've been putting this one off for some time, but there's no better day than today to get this out. You see, earlier today, I was tweeting about how I didn't understand the appeal of a certain guy who makes old school rap about Marvel characters. I was nowhere near as mean as you know I can get, but he still found out and decided to retweet it to his followers. Why he did this, I do not know. Maybe he wanted to rile up his army or something. In any case, I ended up getting 3 @replies from fanboys & girls who were defending his honor. Well, this led me to think back to another time I was talking trash about comic folks on Twitter.
A little over a year ago, I was talking to my good e-pals over at OAFE, and we were talking about Geoff Johns's love of Silver Age concepts. The discussion turned to Barry Allen, the Silver Age Flash, who had been "dead" in real people time (RPT) since 1986. Well, Johns was bringing Allen back to assume the mantle of The Flash, despite the fact that nobody wanted this to happen. By this point in time, everyone had pretty much settled on Wally West (Barry's former apprentice, and current Flash) as THE Flash. I mentioned how Johns wasn't going to stop until the current DC Universe looked like it did during the Silver Age of the 60s.
Now, I'm usually good about covering my tracks. I knew not to include Johns's actual twittername, as I didn't necessarily want him in this discussion. OAFE, however, had other ideas, and Johns's username was inserted in one of the replies in our discussion. I noticed this, but thought nothing of it and went to sleep. When I woke up, I had a DM from Geoff Johns, where he said that he really wanted me to give the book a chance. He included his email address, and asked me to send him my mailing address. Well, when the Chief Creative Officer of DC Comics beckons, you answer! I quickly drafted an email, thanking him for actually appealing to me, while sheepishly backpedaling on what he'd probably read from my discussion thread. About a month later, I received a box containing The Flash: Rebirth HC, as well as signed copies of The Flash #1 & 2. A better person would've jumped right into these books, and changed his tune about what he'd said. I, however, am not a better person. I sent Geoff an appreciative thank you email, and then I proceeded to put the books on a shelf for the next year. After finishing up Flashpoint, and realizing that Rebirth was actually kind of the start of it all, I thought it might finally be time to check it out. So, the other night, between Family Guy and China, IL, I finally got through it.
I should've had a disclaimer at the beginning, but the most interesting part of the whole saga was HOW I obtained the book. The story itself, not so much. You see, while The Flash: Rebirth is a decent enough story, it relies WAY too much on prior knowledge of The Flash. This series was not written to introduce Barry Allen to a new generation of comic fans; it was written to change the minds of the current generation of Flash fans. Did I confuse you there? It's like this: if you never gave a shit about The Flash and his franchise, this book isn't going to change that. At all. It relies on the reader to already know who Barry Allen, Wally West, Bart Allen, Liberty Belle/Jesse Quick, Jay Garrick, and Max Mercury are. That's a whole lotta speedsters! Plus, it makes reference to the fact that Max somehow disappeared, Liberty Belle at some point had some attachment to the speedsters, and Bart "came back" from somewhere, and I can't remember if it's from a trip to the future, or the time that he "died". Then, there's the whole matter of the Speed Force, which is where all of the speedsters draw their power. It was already as convoluted as Star Trek: The Next Generation technobabble, but then they had to throw in the idea of a Negative Speed Force. Plainly put, it is NOT a great introduction to the world of the Flash. It's an "Everything but the kitchen sink" approach to the franchise, which isn't great for the casual reader.
As the story starts, Barry Allen is trying to get used to how the world has changed since he's been gone, while everyone around him is preparing to celebrate his return. Through the magic of decompression, this whole thing is told over the course of 6 issues. Basically, he runs really fast ('cause that what The Flash does), and he ends up finding a bunch of other speedsters within the Speed Force. Some good, some bad, but they all seem to die when he touches them. It turns out that it's all the work of The Reverse Flash, or Professor Zoom, or whatever he's called now. For the sake of clarity, we'll call him Yellow Flash. You know he's bad because his suit is ugly (even though the "hero" basically dresses like a hornless devil, but that's a debate for another time). Then, through a whole bunch of flashbacks, we also deal with the fact that Barry was constantly driven by the desire to clear his father's name for the murder of his mother. I don't know if this is true or a retcon, as Barry died shortly after I became my parents' happy little "surprise". Haven't read very many Barry stories, and that's not a Flash Fact I've seen printed on Underoos and cereal boxes. In any case, he wants to solve his mom's murder. In the present day, he gets possessed by the Negative Speed Force, making him EEEVVVIIILLL! It's because he hates the modern world, and wants to go back to the comfort of The Speed Force. Remember in Shawshank Redemption how the dude couldn't handle the outside world and hanged himself? Yeah, kinda like that. I'm gonna cut to the chase: Yellow Flash killed Barry's mom. Like you didn't see that coming. But here's the real kicker: it turns out that Barry's family had actually grown old and lived a long life together. Yellow Flash wanted to torment Barry, so he went back in time and killed the mom. So, the mom's death was an in-story retcon. Mindfuckery! Yellow Flash can't kill Barry because he needs him in order to eventually exist, but that don't mean he can't kill the people around Barry! In the end, Barry realizes that his wife, Iris, is his "anchor", and he decides he wants to LIVE! The world celebrates his return, and Yellow Flash is abducted by some other Flash villain that I guess I'm supposed to know.
I'm not gonna be your typical internet fanboy and say "that fucking sucked!" Honestly, I can't say that. All I can say is that it wasn't written for me. I have a friend who worships at the altar of The Flash, and I'm pretty sure he might enjoy it when he gets around to reading it. I just don't have enough history with the franchise for it to resonate with me. It's like a giant speedster family reunion, but you really need to know about all of them to really grasp the weight of it all. I went into it thinking that the point of the miniseries was to make me care about Barry, but instead it seems to be intended to make the reader care about The Flash Legacy. This would all be well and good if they hadn't done away with all of that in the New 52. As far as we can tell, Wally doesn't exist, Jay doesn't exist, Jesse & Max may not exist, and Bart is kind of a different person. We know Yellow Flash existed up to Flashpoint, as that was all his fault, but I don't know about post-Flashpoint. So, in a lot of ways, it could also be seen as a farewell love letter to the speedsters. Whatever it was, I don't think it was for the casual fan and, as a casual fan, it didn't leave me with the feeling that Barry Allen was the rightful speedster to bear the mantle of The Flash. He spends most of Rebirth, telling those around him that he didn't need to come back. You would think that would force the story to prove that he is, in fact, needed in this world, but i don't think it accomplishes that task. Anyway, since he's The Flash of the New 52, it's not like we really have a choice. So, I guess I'll have to learn to like him. In closing, it was totes awesome (I got that phrase from my pal over at The Robot's Pajamas) for Geoff to reach out to me like he did, and I only wish the story could've resonated with me the way that I think he felt it would. Honestly, I think that's what makes me feel the worst about this whole thing.
Adventures West Coast: Complete Strangers In Paradise (Pocket Edition)
Oh, Strangers In Paradise! This is one that I've been dreading for some time. I'd always wanted to read the series, as it was THE indie darling of the 90s. Most of all, it was always at the top of all those "Which Comics Would My Girlfriend Would Love?" lists. A few years back, the series was collected in a bunch of digesty "Pocket Edition" books, so I saw that as a great time for me to give them a shot.
(courtesy of Comics Bulletin)
Strangers In Paradise, by Terry Moore, is really structured like a sitcom. It's got a supporting cast of zany characters, there are 6 volumes (just like 6 seasons of a sitcom), and it's got a will they/won't they? love story. However, for all my TV knowledge, I can't figure out which network would air this thing. The title isn't a clever play on words, so it couldn't air on USA. It's about lesbians, but not the hot kind, so no Showtime. The plot kinda goes off the rails at points, in Nip/Tuck fashion, but it's too gyno-centric for F/X. I guess we'll just throw it on Lifetime between some Meredith Baxter Birney movies.
Here's the deal: Francine Peters and Katina "Katchoo" Choovanski have been friends since childhood. Francine's chubby and has low self-esteem, so she dates douchebags. Meanwhile, Katchoo had a rough childhood, so she's grown into an empowered feminist who doesn't live by society's rules. Right there, you've got a Thelma & Louise situation, and Katchoo struggles to make Francine see how wonderful she is. Then, you begin to see that there's more to Francine & Katchoo than just "sista girl empowerment". A couple of times, they get close but Francine pushes away because she wasn't raised to think that was OK. Enter David: a struggling artist who falls madly in love with Katchoo, but she's having none of it, as she's just not into nice guys. So, there's our love triangle. David loves Katchoo, Katchoo loves Francine, and Francine loves Katchoo, but won't give in to those feelings. Simple enough, right? Brace yourself for what's next.
See, it turns out that there's more to Katchoo than simply an abusive father. She moved away from Francine during high school, and the details of those years had been a mystery. It turns out that Katchoo was a high class escort, working for madame/businesswoman Darcy Parker. Katchoo was Darcy's best girl, and they'd even become lovers for a time. Darcy only pimped her girls out to politicians, which earned her a bit of political clout. One night, Katchoo and another call girl decided they'd had enough, and they plotted a way out of Darcy's empire. They stole some money, and a politician ended up dead. Fast forward to the present: Darcy has figured out that Katchoo stole her money, and sends a bunch of muscle after her to get it back. At this point, Katchoo's trying to live a normal life as an artist, while trying to figure out if she loves Francine or David. Then, we find out that David is *spoiler alert* Darcy's brother, who actually knew about Katchoo's past. Oh, and the muscle sent after Katchoo? It turns out to be her own twin sisters, Tambi and Bambi - sired by the same abusive father. Yeah.
Then there's some kind of weird flash forward thing, where Francine & Katchoo are now Camryn Manheim & Melissa Ethridge, raising their two adult daughters in a log cabin or something. One of the daughters is trying to be a writer, and she decides to write about the love story of her "2 moms". So, then the story basically turns into the series finale of Roseanne (remember that? Dan DIED?! Becky actually married DAVID?! Of course Jackie was gay!). So from this point on, it's not clear if the events are actually happening, or is they're just the result of creative license being taken in order to make the book-within-a-book more interesting.
I could get into all the side characters, like Casey and Freddie, but they're just the comic relief, and I'd hate to spoil the INSANITY they bring to the table. Basically, when the story starts to get too heavy, Casey gets a boob job or Freddie gets emasculated by a woman. Haha!
The beauty of all the characters is that they're flawed. Even a guy like Freddie has a sympathetic side, and you start to understand why he is like he is. I will say, however, that the series is uneven. It goes from Three's Company to Twin Peaks at the drop of a hat. Not to mention that it's too damn long. Indie books don't have to keep the same schedule as Marvel and DC, as there's more involved with the production of a self-published book. That said, it felt like Terry Moore just got to the point where he was just writing the book to write it; it stopped feeling like it was headed anywhere. There's even the false ending in volume 5, where you learn that Francine & Katchoo are happily together, with kids. So, why the reset button? It's not like they had a time machine or anything, so why get temporal with things? The last 2 volumes don't really make the reset seem worthwhile. We end up with more out of place characters, like Francine's husband Brad, and his rock star brother, Griffin. If SiP is a sitcom, volume 5 is the season where the main couple have a baby and/or Cousin Oliver/Pam/Seven comes to live with the family. It just wasn't necessary. Oh, and David gets a brain tumor.
Due to the way that the story ebbs and flows, it almost feels like the periodical isn't the right format for the book. Its pacing lends itself better to the world of the newspaper strip, akin to Funky Winkerbean or something. I guess it was groundbreaking to tackle a soap opera like this in the comic format. Sure, there had been romance comics in the early days of the industry, but those stories were typically done-in-one tales. This was a multi-year, multilayered story that's really impressive in scope when you look back at it. I do, however, feel bad for anyone who read this in sequential form, as the story tends to gain and lose momentum almost without warning. In all, it was an impressive experiment to build an indie series around such an intense, soap operatic format, but I don't know if it resulted in an even, well-rounded story.
Thrift Justice – The Case of the Three Jokers
So, last weekend the rain was too much of a nuisance for any of the local yard sales to take place, but I was still jonesing for a treasure hunt. That meant that I had to find someplace indoors, which led me to the Civitan Flea Market. Located in Arlington, VA, the Civitan Flea Market occurs on the first Saturday of each month, from the months of April to November. I checked it out for the first time a few months back, and I liked what I saw. Since it takes place in a multilevel parking garage, it's open rain or shine. Basically, a vendor pays about $20 to set up in a parking space, and you're left to just make the rounds. From what I could tell, vendors don't seem to have "regular" spots, so I walked around to see if I noticed any of the good vendors from my first trip. But we know you're not here for the words - you're here for the haul!
Recently, I've been buying up all the cheap Calvin & Hobbes books I run across. Here's a little confession: I really hated C&H up until about 2 months ago. I know most of my peers fondly look back on the series, but I just never "got" it. I think I had the misfortune of always tuning in when it was one of the, for lack of a better word, "preachier" strips, so I just always felt it was overrated. That said, as someone who had a myriad of imaginary friends, this series was pretty much right up my alley. So, I found a collection at a yard sale a few weeks back, which has led to the acquisition of 2 more collections.
As a fanboy, this is one of those things that I guess I'm expected to have read. I'd never really come across it, and it always seemed a little too much of a Sandman gateway book anyway. Since I'm neither a cutter, nor do I work at Hot Topic, I always shied away. Well, on this particular day, I guess I was kinda desperate to buy a comic, and this was the best I could do. The vendor wanted $3 for it, which I felt was kinda steep. Then, she told me that it was for her grandson's college fund. I couldn't let the guy suffer through student loans as I had. I forked over the three Georges. Then, I asked her where he was thinking of going for college. She replied, "Well, he's only 16 months old right now." Huh. All I could say was, "Well, I guess you've got a couple more sales ahead of you."
I'd seen this book during one of the Borders liquidation sales, but couldn't bring myself to pay what they were asking at 25% off. This, however, is not only an advance reader's copy but it was also a quarter! I'm a sucker for preview and promo items, so this was just what the doctor ordered. The seller had placed a sticky note on it, saying it was "Perfect for fans of Family Guy and The Daily Show". This might just be an oversell - kinda like how every comedy compared itself to The Hangover for a whole year.
If you dare claim there was a better game for the Nintendo Entertainment System, I will slap you in the face and kidnap your dog.
Stallone was supposed to be in Beverly Hills Cop. They decided they wanted to go in another, more comedic direction. He made this instead. And it was GLORIOUS. I love this movie for the odd product placement. Just imagine: Pepsi paid to have one of their soda fountains shot up in a standoff; a Christmas-themed Toys "R" Us commercial is playing in the background, as Stallone cleans his gun and eats cold pizza!
I wouldn't buy season sets of this show, but I am sucker enough to fall for "The Mike Judge Collection". Sure, it's a best of collection, but it's a multi-disc best of. Plus, I trust Mike Judge. The man went on to give us Office Space and King of the Hill. It'll be worth it if "Teen Talk" is one of the episodes featured. "I'm Lolita, and this here's Tanqueray. You boys wanna go back behind the bleachers and make out?"
And now we come to the reason for this post's title. You may not be able to tell, but this is a deck of Batman Begins playing cards. It was purchased for three reasons:
1) I love Batman
2) I love shiny things/holograms
3) They were $0.25
Now, I knew what I was getting into. The seller told me that someone earlier in the day had counted the cards and that while the deck was missing an Ace, there were THREE Jokers. Now, I'm used to quirky merchandise, so I wondered if it was supposed to have 3 Jokers. I mean, "Joker" kinda means a little more in a Batman-themed card deck, so maybe that was the novelty. Still don't know. I don't even play cards!
This is Tri-Klops. He's from He-Man. That is all.
This is Lothor - the "big bad" from Power Rangers Ninja Storm. While he was far from the most menacing villain, I always loved his aesthetic. It's not everyday you see an evil alien ninja in a luchadore mask. The articulation sucks, like most Power Rangers villain figures, but he still looks cool standing around.
A Nightwing doll! How cool is that?! Yes, I'm calling it a "doll" because that's basically what this is. Sure, his body is probably based on a G.I. Joe style body, but he's got a cloth outfit and hard plastic head. He appears to have mustard or something on his chest, but I don't care. Nightwing doll for $1!
I got this from my favorite vendor. Last time, she had some great Batman stuff, and this was just as cool. If you're not a comic person, this is an unused cover from X-Men: Alpha, which kicked off The Age of Apocalypse. This event started just as I was getting into comics, and I haven't experienced something that riveting since. A lot of comic crossovers are cyclical now, but this was actually a fresh idea. Anyway, this appeals to my love of comics, as well as my love of shiny thing/holograms. Oddly enough, I don't remember this as having a holographic cover gimmick; it shipped with a foil cover gimmick, so I wonder if this was some sort of retailer exclusive.
These came from the same vendor as the X-Men cover. It may not be immediately apparent, but the "Vote DC" poster is actually a promotional item from the Marvel vs. DC event. You'll notice Batman hiding Captain America's shield in his cape, as Superman brandishes The Hulk's pants. Below that is a poster for 1991's X-Men #1. I collect comic promo items that are typically only available to retailers, so these 2 posters were great finds.
Well, that's all she wrote for the flea market. Next month is the last one of the season, so I'm pretty sure I'll go check it out one last time. In the meantime, I've got my hands full with the thrift stores. Tune in next time, where I'll show ya some autographed stuff I came across!
Justice League #1: A Discussion
OK, so by now you should've read my Flashpoint post. As that was the end of an era, Justice League was touted as the beginning of a new one. I wish I could say that it worked for me, but it just didn't.
Justice League #1 is chock full of gorgeous Jim Lee-ian action. It's the kind of stuff that's really going to hurt your heart when you hear that Jim Califiore's taking over the art a year from now. Recent series have launched with the big names, but settle into a routine with the journeymen. Anyway, for all the action, there's just not much substance. It's reminiscent of Lee's work on the "Hush" storyline in Batman a few years ago. That was a good excuse for Lee to play in the Gotham toybox, but the story didn't make much sense. This book didn't really have a story; this was just an appetizer.
A few nights ago on twitter, Comics Bulletin had a great rant about the folks who've been comparing the issue to a television pilot. I can't even do it justice (no pun intended) by trying to repeat it, so I recommend you hop over to their feed. Basically, though, they said that a successful pilot makes you want to come back for more, while this doesn't really have that effect. I couldn't agree more. However, I think I'd like to even go a step further. Justice League #1 isn't a pilot - it's the "cold open", or pre-credit sequence, to the pilot. Sure, there's a bit of padding in it, but once you get to that last page:
you know that it can only be followed by something like this:
God damn, I love that theme song! Is there any way that Jim Lee could just draw music? I'd preorder every issue! Here's a little secret about me: I only watch the cold open for Smallville. I'm gone after the theme song. Hell, if I turn it on, and find I missed both the open and the song, I turn it right off. Sure, that was a cliffhangery last page, but I'm not convinced that I shouldn't change the channel. I'm looking to the next issue to help me make that decision.
Change In A Flash: Thoughts on The End of an Era
So, that was Flashpoint, huh? Ya know, over the years, I've bullied DC by saying they should be more like Marvel. I felt they should be better at social networking and also start leaking their big stories to the New York Post. Over the past year, DC seemed to have heard the same suggestions from others more important than me, as their social network presence increased and they got chummier with the press. I did not, however, say that they should ape Marvel's storytelling style. At the same time, though, they started recreating Marvel's starting lineup from 1994. They already had the Kuberts and Fabian Nicieza, but they also brought in former Marvel E-I-C Bob Harras and former X-Men writer Scott Lobdell. The end result is that Flashpoint ends up being Age of Apocalypse by way of House of M. It looks like DC had been paying attention to the competition, but at what cost?
I compare Flashpoint to Age of Apocalypse, as it utilizes the same "alternate reality on the verge of cataclysmic war - comprised of minis and one shots" format. The tone is very similar to that of AoA, plus it doesn't hurt that Andy Kubert did the art on both storylines. Also, Flashpoint #5 is almost a beat-by-beat retelling of the end of AoA. They even do the "final battle as the bombs go off" thing.
I mention House of M because it provides the setup for the story. Everything changes in a flash, as people are living their lives one way, and a flash of light completely changes their circumstances. Also, HoM did have lasting effects in that it allowed Wolverine to remember his past and, more importantly, it reduced the number of mutants in the Marvel Universe to roughly 198. Flashpoint, similarly, has the repercussion that it sets off an entirely new iteration of the DC Universe.
I'm not gonna do a recap, as you've read the book. This isn't even a "review", per se, but I did want to share a few thoughts I had along the way, bulletpoint style:
-I know, I swore I wasn't even going to read this "event". I felt like the Big Two were just repackaging old concepts, and I didn't feel like rereading the same old stuff. Then, two things happened. First, it emerged that Fear Itself was basically a Thor story, which just solidified my lack of interest in it. Next, DC announced not only the "New 52", but also the fact that Flashpoint would be the springboard for all of that. So, excited for the future, I decided I should probably board the Flashpoint train.
In all, I enjoyed the core Flashpoint mini. It moved quickly enough that I didn't focus too much on characterizations and motivations. I got the gist of it, and I knew that if I wanted more, there were always the spin-off minis. I only picked up the Batman one, though.
-The story's resolution felt like some kind of marketing mandate to ensure that Flash: Rebirth "mattered". Even though people trust Johns to dust off these older concepts, nobody wanted Barry Allen back. Nobody. We were all fine with Wally. The ending felt like "See? You didn't want Barry back, but you couldn't have had this shiny new universe without him. You're welcome."
Marvel does a much better job of making you think that everything was connected in some grand plan. Secret Invasion pays off a plot point from five years prior, and you have to wonder if they got lucky, or if they really did have this planned all along. DC didn't pull off that magic with Flashpoint. I don't think Flash: Rebirth was ever intended to result in this, as it was *meant* to pay off in a monthly book on which Manapul couldn't keep up the pace.
-While I understand that Flash has the power set/mechanics to set this ball in motion, it feels like this would've worked better as a Batman story. Maybe they couldn't do it, as Lord knows Batman's been through enough in recent years, plus they needed to really reestablish Barry's importance. Just like Identity Crisis was all about loss, this was about familial ties and the notion that "you can't go home again".
The problem is that Barry's momma drama isn't as well known as Bruce's. A man on the street could tell you next to nothing about "Barry Allen", let alone the fact that his mom was killed. Everyone, however, knows that Bruce Wayne's parents were killed (even if they think the Joker did it), which led him to become Batman. For true gravitas, and to help Batman move along in a more positive direction, it should've been Batman displaced in time, working side by side with his father, as master tactician during the war, yet still getting the closure he has sought all these years. In fact, that would've been preferable to the whole Quantum Leap drama of The Return of Bruce Wayne.
-Sometimes I have trouble conveying myself outside of analogies, so I hope you can follow this: let's say a person has an accident and ends up in a coma. The family mourns initially, but if he's in that coma long enough, when it comes time to pull the plug, they realize the guy had basically been dead since the moment he slipped into the coma. Still there? How does that apply? Well, I felt like this series would pay off in some kind of grand farewell for the old DCU. Instead, by issue #5, you realize they were basically already gone and wouldn't be making an appearance. There was no "goodbye" or "that's all, folks". Silver Age comics would've had silhouettes of the JLA waving goodbye from the clouds or something as the last panel. I think was expecting that "Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow?" ending. What a Hell of a way to cap off an era that was!
Even though all of the solo books wrapped up (some better than others), Flashpoint really was just a Flash book, as none of the "real" depictions of the characters ever made an appearance (with the exception of Booster Gold). I guess I expected some kind of spillover into the "real world", and the end result would be this weird amalgam of them both. Instead, we learn there are *3* timelines, which are all just hastily combined into one.
-What was that 3rd reality? I recognized the one we were leaving (left page) and the new one (right page), but was that the full 3rd along the top? So, it was Wildstorm and alt versions of 2nd tier characters?
-Barry has memories of EVERYTHING now? That's a seed for a future storyline, if AoA is any indication. In that story, Bishop was the only one who remembered the AoA timeline, which caused him to go insane down the road.
So, in all, I didn't hate the ending, but it certainly wasn't what I was expecting. I guess I could call that a success, as it proves this old dog hasn't seen it all. At the same time, I'm no more jazzed about the New 52 than I was, and I feel that's a failing. I admit that I haven't read Justice League #1 as of writing this, so maybe I'll change my mind. All I know is that this was billed as the end of an era. Everything renumbered. A shit ton of new launches. A clean slate. All that said, I still don't feel like Flashpoint truly gave me the chance to say goodbye to what we were leaving behind.
Baltimore Catches Cosplay Fever!
So, once the 2-part Baltimore Comic-Con epic ended (thanks again, Brian!), I found that I still had a bunch of pictures left from the show. Now I know there are folks out there who do better cosplay posts than I could, but I still thought I'd give it a shot.
Well, the theme song did tell us they were loose...
Ga-Blac-Tus HUNGERS...for Popeyes!
In the newly-launched Marvel Jr line, Kid Kap isn't sure he's up to the challenge of Reddy & Bones
In the J.J. Abrams-verse, even Dr. Crusher & Wesley have been rebooted!
She had a giant axe. I'm still not sure if she was supposed to be someone or if it was just self-defense...
It's nice to see the sistahs come out. Did I spell that right? We don't use "er", right? Anyway, She-Hulk was in an awesome JLA Vixen costume on Sunday, as she sat next to me at the Stan Lee panel.
Hey, Mike! Steve! Rob! Aren't those your moms over there?! Baby Doll looks like a young Meredith Baxter-Birney. If you read that in Chef's voice, my mission here is done.
I'd say this was "Optimus Prime", but I can just hear one of you saying, "Actually, that is the King Grandliner Robo" or some shit like that. Well, this is America. In America, we call ALL robot trucks "Optimus Prime"! Put down the Pokemon, and pick up a baseball. U! S! A!
The Odinson doth invite you to visit his band's MySpace page!
Watch out, Miles Morales! Here comes Kid Spidey! And he's white!
Great costumes, but I guess I was just expecting...more from the Smallville Reunion.
Somebody saaaaave meeeee!!!!!
Black Kick Ass! Somebody alert the New York Post!
This pic ain't fooling anybody. Dude on the right would be too busy banging chicks to be busting ghosts. Dude on the left? Totally a Ghostbuster.
Not true cosplay, but it ought to be!
This chick made me kinda salty. You see, she was already posing for someone else, and I just took the picture. She noticed me and said "You have to ask! It's rude if you don't ask!" Look, you were ALREADY posing! Costume wasn't that hot anyway.
Wait, why are we rooting for Thor?! And she looked like Kat Dennings! I would've bought every issue of Dark Reign if they'd drawn "Lokette" as Kat Dennings!
As aspiring America's Top Blerd, I'm required by the King Doctrine of 1962 to acknowledge Blenguin.
Guys, I don't know about this whole "New 52" thing...
So, That Was The Wonder Woman Pilot…
All of the "real" sites used their connections to see the rejected Wonder Woman pilot right after the network upfronts in May, but I don't have that kind of Rolodex (does anyone use an actual Rolodex anymore?). Anyway, thanks to a pal on Twitter, I was finally able to see what all the fuss was about. Let me just get my snobbery out of the way: as a student of comics and television, it's glaringly obvious as to why NBC passed on this show. Even in its position at the bottom of the ratings, Wonder Woman was NOT going to be NBC's salvation. If The Cape didn't save them, this sure wasn't going to do it, either. Honestly, Wonder Woman is more on the level of the short-lived Birds of Prey series.
Few people remember it, as Smallville went on to last ten seasons compared to BoP's one, but I maintain that Birds of Prey and Smallville were of the same level of quality. The only difference was that Superman was a more recognizable character than Commissioner Gordon's crippled daughter/niece and Batman's daughter (?!). Both shows were on The WB, where it didn't matter what the shows were about, as long as the people were pretty. With Adrianne Palicki and Elizabeth Hurley, Wonder Woman's got that in spades. Also, Birds of Prey struggled with the fact that it was trying to tell a story without being allowed a full understanding of the characters. As BoP was laid out, Barbara Gordon was the former Batgirl who, after being crippled by The Joker, now operates as infojock Oracle. If you've read the comics, that's familiar enough. Next, you've got Helena Wayne, who in this situation, is actually the adult daughter of Batman and Catwoman. Oh, and she's also a mutant. She's got heightened senses and jumps high and shit, which enables her to patrol the streets as Huntress. Now, here's the kicker: since Warner Bros wanted to focus on revamping the Batman movie franchise (this was pre- Batman Begins), they didn't allow Batman in the show (except for a brief sequence in the pilot). So, you've got your core cast, whose origins revolve around a concept that can only be danced around. And to explain it in the show, apparently The Joker killed Catwoman. TV Batman was such a punk bitch that he became distraught, and left Gotham City forever. So, what followed were 13 episodes of Barbara and Helena, both inspired by He Who Shall Not Be Named, defending Gotham City in the hopes that He Who Shall Not Be Named decides to stop being a bitch and comes home. Sadly, the show didn't last that long, but the finale did involve a cool fight scene set to the t.A.T.u. classic "All The Things She Said".
How does this all relate to Wonder Woman? Well, just like BoP, it doesn't seem like David E. Kelley was allowed full access to the character. Sure, it's a Wonder Woman costume, and DC was behind the project, but it lacks an understanding of Wonder Woman. This has been one of the biggest problems for Wonder Woman, as the comics lost sight of what makes her tick quite some time ago. The Greg Rucka era was the last time that anyone proudly read the WW comic series, and even "female character wunderkind" Gail Simone couldn't get a grasp on the character. I ranted about this at length on twitter, but I felt like they should've focused figuring out the answer to "Who Is Wonder Woman?" before committing her to other media, like a weekly TV series. If they had called this show "Donna Troy", it would've worked better. She wears a similar costume, looks the same, and nobody knows what the Hell her deal is. That's her gimmick! Over the past 30 years, her mere existence is perpetuated on the fact that she's just a walking identity crisis. Wonder Woman, however, should have a defined mission statement, which is neither present in the recent comics nor this pilot. There's nothing to "wonder" about the woman in this pilot unless you're wondering how she got cast. Anyway, here are the thoughts that occurred to me as I watched the show:
-There's a LOT of exposition, but you're really only informed of Wonder Woman's backstory through newscasts and political pundits. I liked the pundit sequence. Not sure if they actually got Dershowitz, Dr. Phil, and Nancy Grace on board, or if it was just clever editing, but this is what would happen if superheroes existed in the "real world". If that's what they're going for, however, this could be a problem down the line.
-OK, here's where things get more confusing than they need to be. In the show, Wonder Woman has THREE identities! She's Wonder Woman, she's international businesswoman Diana Themyscira (who's also publicly known to be Wonder Woman), but she's ALSO Diana Prince, which is the mousy-'cause-she-wear-glasses-and-a-ponytail-even-though-you-know-she's-really-hot-like-in-She's All That identity. By day, she's one of the first two, but by night, she goes home to be Diana Prince, where she watches The Notebook with her cat. Yes, that happens. Since she's not a lawyer, nor is she in Boston, I'm left to believe that this is the "David E. Kelley Touch" on this project. First off, I don't think Wonder Woman would watch The Notebook, nor would she ask her cat if she should set up a facebook profile. This is all part of the "Well, she is a single woman, so she's got needs and is probably lonely." Family Guy conveyed that best here:
I get it. Set up a love story to grab some female viewers, but all that's missing is the pint of Ben & Jerry's. Also, I don't see why she needs a 3rd identity in order to be lonely and "normal". So, she puts on glasses and hides in her modest apartment so she can pretend she's making decent lonely single lady money, when she knows that she's actually a multimillionaire with a penthouse and a multinational corporation? I can understand having a weekend getaway, but this is a bit much.
-I'm the one guy who's never watched Friday Night Lights, so I have no previous experience with Adrianne Palicki, but I don't feel this was good casting. She never conveys the strength of Diana. Instead, she's soft, and comes across as Kelly Kapowski in a Halloween costume. Her acting is also phoned in. Surrounding Palicki, everyone else feels like they're over acting. Everyone has a sense of urgency, while she just seems...bored. In my mind, Lake Bell or Missy Peregrym would've been stronger, better choices, as they have the look, and they're still somewhat "unknown talents", since nobody watched Surface or Stick It.
-I liked the color/weight blind casting on Etta Candy, but I know the fanboys would've loathed that! They hate Wonder Woman, but still would've jumped on that. Plus, I some fangirls would be upset that Etta Candy wasn't "properly" portrayed as a larger gal...
-This is always going to be a problem when you make an adaptation of a comic character, but the suit doesn't translate to reality. Batman works 'cause he hides in shadows. Superman works in a way. Wonder Woman just looks like she's on her way to her shift at The Crazy Russian. Call me sexist, but the suit doesn't work. You don't know if she's gonna arrest you or try to take you to the champagne room.
-I hate Diana's male assistant, Henry. Had the show been picked up, I feel like he exists solely to be the person close to Diana who gets killed by some villain trying to make a point.
-They say "prick", "balls", and "tits" as an attempt to be edgy.
-Can we talk about the political/legal ramifications of the structure of this show? Everyone knows that businesswoman Diana Themyscira is Wonder Woman, yet no one goes after her company in a lawsuit? They kinda address it, when a senator threatens to sic the Justice Department on her. Diana answers that threat by saying that the country's in two wars, so it doesn't have time to investigate her. Not only is that lazy storytelling, but it's another problem with combining real world aspects with comic aspects.
-She fucking kills a guy! I mean, she throws a pipe through his fucking throat! A security guard who's just following orders! Not a Star Wars guy, but it's really the whole "independent contractors on the Death Star" debate all over again.
-The villain, Veronica Cale, was experimenting on folks from a slavery ring, yet they were all white males. Not who you usually think of being involved in slavery, even the white kind. So, I guess this is when the show decided to stop trying to ape the real world, huh?
So, in the end, it's not a horrible show, but it's certainly not great. Based on production value, this show would've lasted 6 seasons in weekend syndication back in the 90s, but sadly that market is dead. It could've been in a block with Mutant X, Night Man, and Viper. It might even work as a cable show, but it certainly wasn't a good fit for NBC. At the end of the day, it's a serviceable action hour of television, but it's not Wonder Woman. They tried a different take on the character that just didn't work. The funny thing is that there's source material for what they were trying to do: it's called Ultra. As the first big comic project from The Luna Brothers, Ultra was a miniseries from Image Comics which was basically "Sex and the City with Powers". Sure, it had dating drama and whatnot, but there was also a lot of action. Based on what I've seen here, David E. Kelley would be the PERFECT guy to adapt that series. Wonder Woman, however, just wasn't the project for him.
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