-What happened to Palisades Toys? I was never a Muppets fan, but I could respect that they truly paid attention to detail in making those Muppets toys.

-Diamond Select should've been run out of business for those horrible Serenity figures. I've actually said this to DST staffers. They like to change the subject when that line is brought up. I'm no Serenity fan, but I know a slap in the face when I see it.

-Did Hasbro ever present a use for those Jedi Master points?

-Is bbi still around? I remember they used to make those awesomely detailed solider dolls. Sometimes they'd use a Hollywood likeness without ever really securing the rights. So, instead of a Saving Private Ryan doll, it'd be a "World War II Officer" with a Tom Hanks face or something.

-An issue from 2002 stated that we had a better shot of seeing a Thundercats revival before a true G.I. Joe renaissance. Huh.

-The book REALLY started to suck when they took a parody approach to the articles. It was cute for the April Fools issue, but for a good  3 years every article in the book was like a Robot Chicken skit. While Robot Chicken showed that approach could be funny, it just gets tired in print.

-I wonder how many of the toys previewed in Toyfare actually NEVER came to fruition. I know for a fact that King of the Hill Series 2 never came out. That was when everyone wanted to jump on the interactive soundchip playset bandwagon, but I guess Toycom realized they couldn't swing it.

-When they started posting the Complete Photo Guides to toy lines, that made the magazine worth the price of admission.

-Near the end, they were just reprinting the movie articles from Wizard, seeing as how comic movies also tended to have toylines.

-I never realized how many 80s Toy Quizzes they published. That magazine survived an extra 3 years just by jerking off fans to fantasies of a M.A.S.K. revival.

Culling the ranks of the Toyfare stash didn't take much time, so then I cam back around for the herculean task of weeding out the Wizards. After all, I had a complete run for about 10 years or so. Along the way, I noticed a few interesting things:

-Where is Christina Z these days? For those not in the know, she was the first woman to make Wizard's Top 10 Writers List, and she used to write Witchblade back when it was all T&A. That way, whenever someone criticized it for being a T&A book, Top Cow could protest, "No, it's written by a woman!" Her last publicized work was Jenna Jameson's Shadow Hunter. I bet that wasn't a T&A book at all...

-Paula Cole should sing "Where have all the CCGs gone?"

-I don't want anything to do with J. Scott Campbell until he finishes Wildsiderz.

-Brandon Jerwa started his career on G.I. Joe with a fan submission

-I had no idea Fox has been using the "Animation Domination" name for its Sunday block since 2005!

-Broken Promises: Bryan Singer's Ultimate X-Men arc

-Broken Promises: Jeff Loeb & J. Scott Campbell's Spidey title

-Broken Promises: When Bendis left The Pulse, he said it would continue with another writer. This didn't happen.

-Yay! Kubert's on Batman. Surely, he'll have a long run on this book!

-In '03, J.Scott Campbell went exclusive with DC. Can anyone name what came from that? Anyone? No, because NOTHING came from that contract.

-Why did they stop making DC Minimates?

-There was actually an article called "Treasured Chests", where they compared the cleavage of Talia Al Ghul, Power Girl, and some Wildstorm chick.

-Kia Asamiya. Yes, I get that everyone had Manga Fever, but WHO THE FUCK PUT HIM ON X-MEN?!!!

-Broken Promises: Loeb & Lee's promised post-Hush 6-issue arc on Batman.

-Before they diversified their brand with Pilot Season, Top Cow was pretty much just, "Hey, kids! Tits!"

-After Chaos went under, Lady Death went to the Code 6 imprint at Crossgen. Now, she's at Avatar, under the Boundless imprint. Lady Death: She Doesn't Just LOOK Like The Village Bicycle!

-There was an Olympic ad in the March 2002 issue. Like, a real brand, and not some e-store or superhero-inspired motorcycle jackets. The actual Olympics, with the athletes and shit. SO out of place.

-Chaos allowed fans to serve as associte editors on books. They spun it as "interaction", but it was really just cheap labor. They went under soon afterwards.

-Only in 2002 could Joe Mad make the Top 10 Most Influential Artists List. He ranked higher than Sienkiewicz!!!

-Broken Promises: Kevin Smith was supposed to take over Amazing Spider-Man, and JMS was to move over to a new book. Smith also said in interviews that he only agreed if they would allow him to reunite MJ and Peter.

-Broken Promises: Kevin Smith was also announced as the writer of a new iteration of Brave and the Bold just before signing an exclusive with Marvel.

-Based on the number of articles, Fathom "returned" about 12 times, but never actually finished.

-Top Cow has been streamlining its universe since 2001, with no end in sight. The first event, Universe, made Tomb Raider & Fathom part of TC canon...interesting, seeing as how both properties are no longer under the TC umbrella.

-Where is Devin Grayson? Did her career end at the same time as her relationship with Mark Waid?

-I think the best depiction of Rogue was the promo image to her Icons mini. She's strong and athletic - believably 19 (which is the age she's rumored to be), and not a busty, 30-something skunkhead.

-Alicia Witt would've been a MUCH better Mary Jane in the Spider-Man movies.

-Instead of rushing to reprint them, Bill Jemas put the Ultimate titles online, 12 pages at a time, to "reward the readers and retailers who jumped on the Ultimate bandwagon at the beginning, thus making those initial issues all the more valuable." - 2001

-In 2001, Poison Elves creator Drew Hayes signed an unprecedented 50 year deal with Sirius Entertainment. While this was clearly a publicity stunt, Drew would pass away in 2007.

-Casting Call: Geoff Johns cast Heath Ledger as Wally West and Owen Wilson as Trickster.

-Issue #110's letter column only featured mail sent by prisoners.

-They used to have a column called "oops..." where they made corrections to previous stories. This was phased out in later years, as the entire magazine became one giant collection of typos and mistakes.

-Broken Promises: Top Cow got the A-Team rights in 2000. Did nothing with them.

-Did America ever get Bandai's handheld system, the WonderSwan Color?

-They were REALLY pushing for Brendan Fraser to be Superman, as they cast him in 3 different Casting Call articles over the years.

-Casting Call: Tom Selleck as Tony Stark, Kevin Sorbo as Thor, and Howie Long as Cap. This would've been fine...in 1990. They also cast Howie Long as Duke in G.I. Joe. Wizard really liked Howie Long.

-The same character was named "Venus", "Sexbot", and finally "Aphrodite IX"

-Finally, back when DC did the whole Superman Red/Blue thing, a few high profile artists were asked to redesign Superman's iconic suit. One of those artists happened to be Jim Lee. Looks like he's been married to that high-collar design for quite some time...

So, what were your favorite Toyfare/Wizard memories?

All of the "real" sites used their connections to see the rejected Wonder Woman pilot right after the network upfronts in May, but I don't have that kind of Rolodex (does anyone use an actual Rolodex anymore?). Anyway, thanks to a pal on Twitter, I was finally able to see what all the fuss was about. Let me just get my snobbery out of the way: as a student of comics and television, it's glaringly obvious as to why NBC passed on this show. Even in its position at the bottom of the ratings, Wonder Woman was NOT going to be NBC's salvation. If The Cape didn't save them, this sure wasn't going to do it, either. Honestly, Wonder Woman is more on the level of the short-lived Birds of Prey series.

Few people remember it, as Smallville went on to last ten seasons compared to BoP's one, but I maintain that Birds of Prey and Smallville were of the same level of quality. The only difference was that Superman was a more recognizable character than Commissioner Gordon's crippled daughter/niece and Batman's daughter (?!). Both shows were on The WB, where it didn't matter what the shows were about, as long as the people were pretty. With Adrianne Palicki and Elizabeth Hurley, Wonder Woman's got that in spades. Also, Birds of Prey struggled with the fact that it was trying to tell a story without being allowed a full understanding of the characters. As BoP was laid out, Barbara Gordon was the former Batgirl who, after being crippled by The Joker, now operates as infojock Oracle. If you've read the comics, that's familiar enough. Next, you've got Helena Wayne, who in this situation, is actually the adult daughter of Batman and Catwoman. Oh, and she's also a mutant. She's got heightened senses and jumps high and shit, which enables her to patrol the streets as Huntress. Now, here's the kicker: since Warner Bros wanted to focus on revamping the Batman movie franchise (this was pre- Batman Begins), they didn't allow Batman in the show (except for a brief sequence in the pilot). So, you've got your core cast, whose origins revolve around a concept that can only be danced around. And to explain it in the show, apparently The Joker killed Catwoman. TV Batman was such a punk bitch that he became distraught, and left Gotham City forever. So, what followed were 13 episodes of Barbara and Helena, both inspired by He Who Shall Not Be Named, defending Gotham City in the hopes that He Who Shall Not Be Named decides to stop being a bitch and comes home. Sadly, the show didn't last that long, but the finale did involve a cool fight scene set to the t.A.T.u. classic "All The Things She Said".

How does this all relate to Wonder Woman? Well, just like BoP, it doesn't seem like David E. Kelley was allowed full access to the character. Sure, it's a Wonder Woman costume, and DC was behind the project, but it lacks an understanding of Wonder Woman. This has been one of the biggest problems for Wonder Woman, as the comics lost sight of what makes her tick quite some time ago. The Greg Rucka era was the last time that anyone proudly read the WW comic series, and even "female character wunderkind" Gail Simone couldn't get a grasp on the character. I ranted about this at length on twitter, but I felt like they should've focused figuring out the answer to "Who Is Wonder Woman?" before committing her to other media, like a weekly TV series. If they had called this show "Donna Troy", it would've worked better. She wears a similar costume, looks the same, and nobody knows what the Hell her deal is. That's her gimmick! Over the past 30 years, her mere existence is perpetuated on the fact that she's just a walking identity crisis. Wonder Woman, however, should have a defined mission statement, which is neither present in the recent comics nor this pilot. There's nothing to "wonder" about the woman in this pilot unless you're wondering how she got cast. Anyway, here are the thoughts that occurred to me as I watched the show:

-There's a LOT of exposition, but you're really only informed of Wonder Woman's backstory through newscasts and political pundits.  I liked the pundit sequence. Not sure if they actually got Dershowitz, Dr. Phil, and Nancy Grace on board, or if it was just clever editing, but this is what would happen if superheroes existed in the "real world". If that's what they're going for, however, this could be a problem down the line.

-OK, here's where things get more confusing than they need to be. In the show, Wonder Woman has THREE identities! She's Wonder Woman, she's international businesswoman Diana Themyscira (who's also publicly known to be Wonder Woman), but she's ALSO Diana Prince, which is the mousy-'cause-she-wear-glasses-and-a-ponytail-even-though-you-know-she's-really-hot-like-in-She's All That identity. By day, she's one of the first two, but by night, she goes home to be Diana Prince, where she watches The Notebook with her cat. Yes, that happens. Since she's not a lawyer, nor is she in Boston, I'm left to believe that this is the "David E. Kelley Touch" on this project. First off, I don't think Wonder Woman would watch The Notebook, nor would she ask her cat if she should set up a facebook profile. This is all part of the "Well, she is a single woman, so she's got needs and is probably lonely." Family Guy conveyed that best here:

I get it. Set up a love story to grab some female viewers, but all that's missing is the pint of Ben & Jerry's. Also, I don't see why she needs a 3rd identity in order to be lonely and "normal". So, she puts on glasses and hides in her modest apartment so she can pretend she's making decent lonely single lady money, when she knows that she's actually a multimillionaire with a penthouse and a multinational corporation? I can understand having a weekend getaway, but this is a bit much.

-I'm the one guy who's never watched Friday Night Lights, so I have no previous experience with Adrianne Palicki, but I don't feel this was good casting. She never conveys the strength of Diana.  Instead, she's soft, and comes across as Kelly Kapowski in a Halloween costume. Her acting is also phoned in. Surrounding Palicki, everyone else feels like they're over acting. Everyone has a sense of urgency, while she just seems...bored. In my mind, Lake Bell or Missy Peregrym would've been stronger, better choices, as they have the look, and they're still somewhat "unknown talents", since nobody watched Surface or Stick It.

-I liked the color/weight blind casting on Etta Candy, but I know the fanboys would've loathed that! They hate Wonder Woman, but still would've jumped on that. Plus, I some fangirls would be upset that Etta Candy wasn't "properly" portrayed as a larger gal...

-This is always going to be a problem when you make an adaptation of a comic character, but the suit doesn't translate to reality. Batman works 'cause he hides in shadows. Superman works in a way. Wonder Woman just looks like she's on her way to her shift at The Crazy Russian. Call me sexist, but the suit doesn't work. You don't know if she's gonna arrest you or try to take you to the champagne room.

-I hate Diana's male assistant, Henry. Had the show been picked up, I feel like he exists solely to be the person close to Diana who gets killed by some villain trying to make a point.

-They say "prick", "balls", and "tits" as an attempt to be edgy.

-Can we talk about the political/legal ramifications of the structure of this show? Everyone knows that businesswoman Diana Themyscira is Wonder Woman, yet no one goes after her company in a lawsuit? They kinda address it, when a senator threatens to sic the Justice Department on her. Diana answers that threat by saying that the country's in two wars, so it doesn't have time to investigate her. Not only is that lazy storytelling, but it's another problem with combining real world aspects with comic aspects.

-She fucking kills a guy! I mean, she throws a pipe through his fucking throat! A security guard who's just following orders! Not a Star Wars guy, but it's really the whole "independent contractors on the Death Star" debate all over again.

-The villain, Veronica Cale, was experimenting on folks from a slavery ring, yet they were all white males. Not who you usually think of being involved in slavery, even the white kind. So, I guess this is when the show decided to stop trying to ape the real world, huh?

So, in the end, it's not a horrible show, but it's certainly not great. Based on production value, this show would've lasted 6 seasons in weekend syndication back in the 90s, but sadly that market is dead. It could've been in a block with Mutant X, Night Man, and Viper. It might even work as a cable show, but it certainly wasn't a good fit for NBC. At the end of the day, it's a serviceable action hour of television, but it's not Wonder Woman. They tried a different take on the character that just didn't work. The funny thing is that there's source material for what they were trying to do: it's called Ultra. As the first big comic project from The Luna Brothers, Ultra was a miniseries from Image Comics which was basically "Sex and the City with Powers". Sure, it had dating drama and whatnot, but there was also a lot of action. Based on what I've seen here, David E. Kelley would be the PERFECT guy to adapt that series. Wonder Woman, however, just wasn't the project for him.

So, as many of my twitter followers can attest, I've developed a bit of a thrift store addiction as of late. We have a few really good ones in my area, so I've found myself swinging by a couple times a week. That said, like any gateway drug, thrift stores weren't enough. I soon turned to Craigslist to satisfy my urges. It started out with me buying a couple of Mighty Muggs, and then it just got out of hand. Pretty soon, I found myself scouring the "toys & games" and "collectibles" categories several times a day. Eventually, I made a bigger leap: yard and garage sales.

I've been going to estate sales with my mom for the past 15 or so years, but they're a different animal from yard sales. Estate sales tend to be where the stuff of old/dead folks is sold, so the selection follows accordingly. I got my golf clubs at an estate sale. I got old books at estate sales. You do not, however, tend to find toys at such places. In any case, I had come to look down on yard/garage sales, as estate sales were more "high-end". A few of my twitter pals, however, have had quite a bit of luck with yard sales lately, and I didn't want to be left out in the cold.

A few weeks ago I decided to wake up early that Saturday morning and get in on the yard sale action. I'd found a nearby sale that was touting "25 Years of Collectibles". This was both intriguing and off putting. You see, when people sell what they believe to be "collectibles", they tend to overcharge. They factor in all the time and money they put into acquiring the item, as well as what they feel it's worth on the market. The result is typically an asking price that's both foolish AND too rich for my blood. It was still intriguing, though, as a lot of good crap came out in the last 25 years.

Anyway, the next morning, I woke up earlier than I typically do for work (a part of me is somewhat ashamed of that), and set out on my quest. The ad said the garage door wouldn't go up until 7, and I was there along with 2 older guys. Within 5 minutes, I knew this hadn't been worth my time or lost sleep. He was selling loose Toy Biz Marvel figures for $10 each. Not the good Legends stuff, but the crappy Magneto with the magnet in his chest. Or a random VR Trooper. Who's gonna pay $10 for a loose VR Trooper figure of a present-day soap star? I said my thanks, and went on my way.

Next on the list was a multifamily sale not too far away. I'd seen the listing, and I liked the idea of a multifamily sale, as I could hit several mini sales in one area. Apparently, the sales were along a block, so I could just work my way down the street. Or so I thought. Instead, I ended up spending the bulk of my time at the first house. Before we get to that, though, let's back up a bit.

After that first "collectibles" sale was a bust, I considered going home. Sitting with my McDonald's breakfast, I fired up my phone's browser and decided to see if any new, more promising sales had been listed. At this point, I noticed one that touted "carded action figures". Well, paint me green and call me Gumby! Plus, it turned out it was part of the multifamily sale that I was already planning to hit! The idea of carded action figures was too great to pass up. Little did I know how great of a find it would be.

So, it turns out that the woman hosting the sale used to work for American Entertainment. If you were collecting comics in the late 90s, then that name will be familiar to you. If you've never heard of it, American Entertainment was a mail order comic company that specialized in exclusive covers and products (if you've ever shopped at Entertainment Earth, it was a lot like that). If you have a comic from the 90s, there's probably an AE ad in it. Eventually, they branched out into a few brick and mortar shops, but AE cranked out a TON of Image/Top Cow variants and Buffy exclusives, amongst other things. Now, since I worked at Diamond, I kinda have an idea of the sort of items that cross your desk in that industry. Just as in my situation, she didn't sell anything while she was with the company, so she just accumulated it without really keeping track of what she had. She decided that she finally needed to clear out space, so she was getting rid of all the swag she'd acquired. And she wasn't lying about carded figures. Buffy, Starting Lineup, Batman, WWF (yes, before they were forced to "get the F Out"), Toy Biz Marvel figures...and many were just $1-2 each! Most yard sales are just a "One man's trash..." situation, but she actually had good stuff. It was just too much of it to try to price accordingly and sell, so it was like a collectible fire sale. I was expecting to wake up at any minute. When I call it "The Greatest Haul", it's not that I stumbled upon a particular holy grail - it's that I got a lot of cool stuff for the low, low price! Toys, comics, and cards. So, what did I get? Well, you'll just have to tune in next time!

1. Justice League #1 by Geoff Johns and Jim Lee

Great idea, but we all know that this is the creative team for, at best, the initial arc. By #6, we'll still Johns on board, but we'll have a Kubert or Scott McDaniel on art. You could do worse, but this is a book that deserves to ALWAYS have A-list talent on it.

2. Justice League International #1 by Dan Jurgens and Aaron Lopresti

I like Booster Gold, so I'll give it a shot. I just don't have the love for the JLI that a lot of fans seem to have. I'm here for Batman and Booster.

3. Teen Titans #1 by  Scott Lobdell, Brett Booth and Norm Rapmund

All hail our Image overlords. Seriously, this is more DV8 than Teen Titans. At least Tim Drake's still around...

4. Suicide Squad #1 by Adam Glass and Marco Rudy

Another concept for which I've never had much love. It's got Harley in it, though. Crazy, redesigned Harley.

5. Action Comics #1 by Grant Morrison and Rags Morales

This is an iconic comic cover:

This is NOT:

Good luck with that.

6. Superman #1 by George Pérez and Jesus Merino

Meh. This would mean something in 1988. Perez doesn't exactly "bring all the boys to the yard" these days.

7. Superboy #1 by Scott Lobdell and R.B. Silva and Rob Lean

Loved the writer 20 years ago, but don't know those artists.

8. Supergirl #1 by Michael Green, Mike Johnson and Mahmud A. Asrar

These guys kept Superman/Batman chugging along, but I think I was the only one buying that book. Liked Asrar on Dynamo 5, though.

9. Batman #1 by Scott Snyder and Greg Capullo.

Same problem as Action - this  cover isn't dynamic enough for a book that's being relaunched after 700 issues:

10. Detective Comics #1 by Tony Daniel

Can't believe Daniel's still on this franchise. He came along because Kubert couldn't stay on schedule. Then, they reward him by making him the artist AND writer once Morrison went off to do what he does, resulting in a run that felt like filler. Now, they shift him over to Detective to do more of the same?

11. Batman: The Dark Knight #1 by David Finch

Relaunched after 2 long-delayed issues. Yeah, this'll work. Paul Cornell or Peter Tomasi will be on this book in a year.

12. Batgirl #1 by Gail Simone, Ardian Syaf and Vicente Cifuentes.

She is HEALED! Barbara Gordon can WALK, and it is a MIRACLE! This one's causing a lot of chatter online. I'm kind hoping hoping the last panel of #1 shows her getting shot.

13. Batwoman #1 by J.H. Williams III, Haden Blackman and Amy Reeder

Do we really need this is the one, true Batchick is back on the prowl? I get that it contributes to DC's "diversity", but she feels pretty redundant at the moment. Plus, Williams is the draw. No one's gonna care once Calafiore gets put on the book.

14. Catwoman #1 by Judd Winick and Guillem March

Winick, eh? How long before Selina gets a trusted confidante who's then diagnosed with HIV? That's the Winick Special right there!

15. Red Hood And The Outlaws #1 by Scott Lobdell and Kenneth Rocafort

I like Rocafort, but Red Hood is kinda like Hush: less is more. Don't keep him in the spotlight. Plus, a team comprised of Arsenal and Starfire hardly makes it a "must read".

16. Batwing #1 by Judd Winick and Ben Oliver

'Cause we've all been wanting to read Bat Panther. Nobody likes reading Black Panther, so who thought putting bat ears on that concept would be a winner? This is an affirmative action ploy right here.

17. Nightwing #1 by Kyle Higgins and Eddy Barrows

Surprise, surprise. Not. We knew it was coming, but we thought it would come through a more organic process than what's seemingly taking place.

18. Batman And Robin #1 by Peter Tomasi and Patrick Gleason

Why does this book still exist? It was created as the "new flagship", a la Astonishing X-Men so that Morrison would have his own sandbox to play in. Once his stuff expanded to other titles, this book's purpose ceased to exist. It's superfluous.

19. Birds Of Prey #1 by Duane Swierczynski and Jesus Saiz

No Gail and no Oracle. This title hasn't fared as well when Gail's not at the helm. Also not sure about the lineup. However, if they're still in Gotham, I'll check it out.

20. Green Lantern #1 by Geoff Johns, Doug Mahnke and Christian Alamy

Doesn't seem like anything changes here. Good for its fans.

21. Green Lantern Corps #1 by Peter J. Tomasi, Fernando Pasarin and Scott Hanna

See #20

22. Green Lanterns: New Guardians #1 by Tony Bedard, Tyler Kirkham and Batt

This will be the first Green Lantern book of DCnU to be canceled.

23. Red Lanterns #1 by Peter Milligan, Ed Benes and Rob Hunter.

This will be the first Lantern book of DCnU to be canceled.

*NOTE: Since there seems to always be a Green Lantern mega event on the horizon, I suspect this book, along with New Guardians will be canceled "as a result of those events" - even though it'll really be due to sales.

24. Aquaman #1 by Geoff Johns and Ivan Reis

It's Johns, so it shows DC's committed, but Aquaman, at his best, has still been considered a joke.

25. Wonder Woman #1 by Brian Azzarello #1 and Cliff Chiang

I came for the art, but I stayed for the story. Seriously, I love anything by Cliff Chiang. Can't say the same for Azzarello, but I'll give it a chance.

26. Flash #1 by Brian Buccellato and Francis Manapul

Who? I mean, I know Manapul - he's supposedly the reason the last series was so late, but this other guy. I assume Flash will have a high profile, due to Flashpoint,  but this ain't a team that instills confidence.

27. Green Arrow #1 by JT Krul and Dan Jurgens

JT Krul, huh? He did the lambasted Rise of Arsenal, but people swear he's good. Pass.

28. DC Universe Presents #1 by Paul Jenkins and Bernard Chang

Anthology books don't do well, but Jenkins is a good name to have on this. Plus, it'll serve a key purpose in the beginning, as it will help to explain the new status quo in areas not covered in the established series.

29. Savage Hawkman #1 by Tony Daniel and Philip Tan

Ha! Hawkman's always been a continuity bitch, and Daniel's writing it. I saw it won't last 2 years.

30. Blue Beetle #1 by Tony Bedard and Ig Guara

Glad Jaime's back. It's another diversity book, and it could be DC's Ultimate Spider-Man if handled right.

31. Fury Of Firestorm #1 by Gail Simone, Ethan Van Sciver and Yildiray Cinar.

This is just City Guys with nuclear powers thrown in. Look at that cover. They should really be back to back, with their arms crossed. "They're from different worlds, but they find out they have more in common than they thought." Sitcom 101.

Plus, Gail doesn't have the best track record as co-writer on a book about young heroes. Her run with Byrne on The Atom left a LOT to be desired. It's debatable whether that was due to her or Byrne. Then, her Gen 13 run was also pretty lackluster, but that could also be attributed to that fact that it was a stale franchise. I just don't think she has the same grasp on the "young voice" that writers like Bendis and Kirkman have.

32. Mr Terrific #1 by Eric Wallace and Roger Robinson

Affirmative action hire! Kiss this goodbye.

33. Captain Atom #1 by JT Krul and Freddie Williams II

JT Krul again, and another character nobody really gives a shit about. Won't see year 2.

34. OMAC #1 by Dan DiDio, Keith Giffen and Scott Koblish

Didio on a Kirby concept. Since it's Didio, they won't cancel it until it's only selling 10 copies, but the writing will always be horrible.

35. Static Shock #1 by John Rozum, Scott McDaniel and Jonathan Glapion.

Who? Only one I know here is McDaniel. He's got a nice, kinetic style, but I don't know how this'll play. Basically, Static and Blue Beetle are courting the same audience. If they're aiming for a new audience, this is good, as it could bring in diverse readers. If we're counting on those already reading comics, they hate minority characters.

36. Hawk And Dove #1 by Sterling Gates and Rob Liefeld

This is a joke, right?

37. Deathstroke #1 by Kyle Higgins, Joe Bennett and Art Thibert

He's had his own series before, but he's another character where less is more. Don't try to turn him into an anti-hero, or try to make us sympathize with him.

38. Legion of Superheroes #1 by Paul Levitz and Francis Portela

Levitz knows the Legion, I'll give him that. This is also, like, their 9th reboot since I've been born.

39. Legion Lost #1 by Fabian Nicieza and Pete Woods

Fabian Nicieza AND Scott Lobdell? DC really broke out the time machine, huh? Hope we get some hologram covers out of the deal!

40. Grifter #1 by Nathan Edmondson, CAFU and BIT

So, Wildstorm's back, eh? It could work.

41. Voodoo #1 by Ron Marz and Sami Basri.

Wasn't she a stripper? I don't entirely remember. Based on the cover I've seen, and the fact that Marz is writing it, I get the feeling he's just gonna use some of his Witchblade ideas over here. After all, more people will read this than those buying Top Cow books.

42. Stormwatch #1 by Paul Cornell and Miguel Sepulveda

Martian Manhunter's in The Authority? It might work.

43. Animal Man #1 by Jeff Lemire, Travel Foreman and Dan Green

Jeff Lemire is that indie darling DC keeps trying to push on us, but just like "fetch", I don't know if it's gonna catch on.

44. Swamp Thing #1 by Scott Snyder and Yanick Paquette

Here's your Swamp Thing, hippies. It's even got that Scott Snyder y'all love so much. I feel like this might be a "be careful what you wish for" situation, where having ST in the main DCU isn't as awesome as you thought it was going to be.

45. Justice League Dark #1 by Peter Milligan and Mikel Janin

Better hope this is a mini. Sure, it's Milligan, but this is just Shadowpact all over again.

46. Demon Knights #1 by Paul Cornell, Diogenes Neves and Oclair Albert

See #45

47. Frankenstein: Agent Of SHADE #1 by Jeff Lemire and Alberto Ponticelli

I like Frankenstein. I like SHADE. I also realize this is just Hellboy and the BPRD. Luckily, I like this character more than I do Hellboy - that is if it's the same characterization as in Seven Soldiers.

48. Resurrection Man #1 by Dan Abnett, Andy Lanning and Fernando Dagnino

Doesn't see year 2.

49. I, Vampire #1 by Josh Fialkov and Andrea Sorrentino

Might've worked as a low-selling-as-singles-but-sells-respectably-in-trade Vertigo title, but I don't see it working as a mainstream DCU book.

50. Blackhawks #1 by Mike Costa and Ken Lashley

A cool, honor-bound group of pilots is now updated into a band of infojock mercenaries. Like Checkmate, I think this concept would be cool woven throughout the universe, and maybe given a mini here and there, but I don't think it's a viable ongoing concept.

51. Sgt Rock And The Men Of War #1 by Ivan Brandon and Tom Derenick

There are folks who love war comics. Then again, that war is typically WWII. The Big One. All that. Not sure if modernizing it will work, based on common opinions of our current wars. However, it's the DCU, so all the battles will take place in fictional places, like Bialya, so it won't matter.

52. All-Star Western #1 by Jimmy Palmiotti, Justin Grey and Meridat.

It'll march along  just like Jonah Hex did. "A rose by any other name..."

So, those are my initial thoughts. I hope I wasn't too mean. If anything, I kinda wanted to make a note of this point in time so that I can come back to it when the books ship, and see if I still feel the same. What are your thoughts on the new lineup?

...Annnd it only took me seven days - seven days to break the vow that I made in my last post. I swore I was done with Image comics, outside of collected editions, until they got their act together. But then, they had to go and release a book called Super Dinosaur. Motherfucking SUPER DINOSAUR! Look at that cover! How do you pass on a concept like that? Simple answer: you don't.

I've got to start by saying that Robert Kirkman isn't exactly my favorite creator. He's got a lot of great ideas, but I kinda soured on him after he became a giant creator-owned evangelist. To him, you're wasting your time in comics if all you're doing is working on X-Men or Batman. Instead, you should be creating new concepts that you OWN, rather than making money for Marvel and DC on decades old characters. He's on to something there, but he reached a point where he became somewhat of a bully in trying to get that message across. There's no doubt that he practices what he preaches; he's so prolific that I either believe his stuff is being handled by ghostwriters, or he's a tortured artist who beats his wife between ideas. He's already crossed media with The Walking Dead, but I get the feeling that Super Dinosaur will be another crossover hit.

It's clear that Super Dinosaur is meant to be one of those rare "all ages" gems that we don't get very often in comics these days. That said, it appears that Kirkman went to the well of a lot of sources, both familiar and unfamiliar, to pull this all together. Basically, Super Dinosaur is what you get when you throw Ben 10, Power Rangers: Dino Thunder, and a little known Image comic called Johnny Monster into a blender. Derek Dynamo is the son of a famous scientist who discovered dinosaurs living 100 miles underground. Dr Dynamo also discovered a powerful mineral, which he named "Dynore". Now, his former partner is trying to claim the Dynore for himself, but his attempts are thwarted by Derek and his best friend, Super Dinosaur. Derek's got a healthy ego (he thinks everything about himself is "awesome"), and Super Dinosaur is able to be "super" due to a special tech harness designed by Dr Dynamo. It's high stakes fun and adventure, as tomorrow's technology is introduced to the lost world of the past.

The Super Dinosaur concept is VERY toyetic, which has a somewhat negative effect on the premiere issue. Instead of feeling like a true introduction to that world, it feels more like a comic book adaptation of a TV show that might be called Derek Dynamo & Super Dinosaur. I can't put my finger on why, but it just doesn't feel genuine. At the end of the book, there's a blurb where Kirkman goes on about how this is an all ages book and how he's excited about that. While that may be true, it's an all ages book with an agenda. If handled correctly, this is the kind of concept that pays for summer homes. The 8 year old boy inside me thinks it's a kickass concept just from the title alone, but he'd much rather wait for the cartoon that the book seems to be adapting. The same way some publishers are using comics as a cheap way to create movie pitches (I'm looking at you, Radical Publishing!), this book feels like Kirkman's audition to join Man of Action at the big boy table of Nicktoons and the like.

Apparently, a special origin issue of Super Dinosaur will be offered on Free Comic Book Day. I'm not sure if it's going to change my opinion of the book, but I'm definitely willing to give it a chance. It's not that I don't like Super Dinosaur - in fact, I love the idea. I just feel that it has enough potential that it almost seems like a waste to tell the story as a comic. It's very reminiscent of the done-in-one-season animated concepts of the late 80s/early 90s. Maybe Kirkman's hoping for more of a shelf life for this one, but it's hard to tell where this falls on his full plate that already includes Invincible, The Walking Dead, and various other projects.

Contrary to popular belief, I don't go out of my way to be snarky - it just kinda comes out. You don't know how badly I'd love to enjoy a new comic project, but it just feels like we're constantly getting more of the same stuff, being billed as if we've never seen it before. I feel I already know the endings of Flashpoint and Fear Itself, and if you look deep inside your heart, you'll realize that you know them, too. Sadly, the Big 2 get the brunt of "collectors' grief", and I don't think that's fair, as there are guys on the next tier of publishing who are doing things just as bad. People are constantly raving about all the great creator-owned books that are coming out of Image, but I just can't fall for that shit anymore. I'm sure there are some great books over there, but Image needs to do something about their...well, image, before I give them another shot at my wallet. Plainly put, Image does put out some comics with great concepts, but they launch more series than they complete. For every 27, Butch Baker: The Righteous Maker, and Morning Glories, there's an incomplete run of The Pirates of Coney Island, The '76, or more recently, Whatever Happened To Baron Von Shock? just gathering dust on shelves and in collections. Image spits good game, but they're not closers. I'm not even talking about quality here. People rave over Skullkickers, and I thought it was a boring, derivative piece of shit (I should've known that "The Hangover Meets D&D" tag was gonna be a stretch). That's not what this is about. They can crank out all the shitty books they want, as long as they complete them. If they had enough faith in a series to start it, they should see that to the end. Until their series completion rate improves, I'm  "trade-waiting" anything from Image.

Oh...where to start with this book? Normally, I use this column as an excuse to get snarky, but this is the rare occasion where I can actually "talk shop". You see, How I Made It To Eighteen is reminiscent of the kind of submissions that started coming in near the tail end of my time at Diamond. For those of you just tuning in, I used to be a brand manager for Diamond Comic Distributors - the largest comic book distributor in North America. Basically, my department decided which books ended up in comic shops. Well, let me rephrase that: my department decided which non-DC, Marvel, Image or Dark Horse comics ended up in shops; based on their contracts, those publishers can put out whatever the Hell they want. So, basically, I was assigned to what's known as "the small press". I worked with sizable publishers, like Fantagraphics, IDW Publishing and Oni Press, but I also worked with a lot of one-man shops. It wasn't a very "happy" job, as I was constantly crushing someone's dream. These people had wanted to create comics all their lives, and here I was telling them that they weren't good enough for widespread exposure. Who was I to judge them, ya know? It's just that over time, you start to see a pattern in what sells. A lot of the time, these comic hopefuls had great ideas, but just didn't have a good marketing plan worked out. They felt that just getting into the Previews catalog would be enough publicity, as it would get them in front of the eyes of the country's comic retailers. Sadly, a Previews blurb is NEVER enough. If they had just taken more time plotting their attack, they might've had a better shot on the stands. In other cases, the book just wasn't what we felt would move in the "direct market" comprised of comic shops. How I Made It To Eighteen would fall into the latter category.

How I Made It To Eighteen, by Tracy White, is a semi-autobiographical tale about "one girl's struggle with depression and addiction." I got that from the cover blurb. Before we tackle that, let's back up for a minute. Prior to reading this book, I had no frame of reference for the writer. According to Ms. White's included biography, she's been making webcomics since 1996. While that's an impressive length of time (this book was published in 2010), it could be argued that the audience for webcomics and that of published comics are two different animals. Not everyone can crank out a PvP or a Penny Arcade, so you often find that people follow webcomics because they're free, but wouldn't spend their hard-earned cash on a print collection of them.

One thing the book had going for it was the fact that it came from a book publisher and not a comic publisher. Roaring Book Press doesn't really have much of a track record in the comic industry, but as an imprint of Macmillan, it has some clout in the "real book" world. Had this been submitted by a first-time creator, who was storing inventory in her garage, it probably never would've made it into stores. Diamond's primary focus is on the +3500 comic specialty shops in the US, and this wouldn't have appealed to many of those accounts. A book like How I Made It To Eighteen isn't going to make waves in most comic shops, but it'll do alright in a Borders, which is what I think to myself every time I see a copy of it on the shelf as I'm looking for the latest volume of Jack of Fables.

Ignoring the subject matter of the book, the art is the main reason that How I Made It To Eighteen wouldn't appeal to your "typical comic shop". This is a little known secret, but we rarely read the books that were submitted. There were just too many of them. If the art was good, the book could sell. If it was bad, the book couldn't. However, in the rare case that the art was mediocre, that's when we'd read it so that we could see if the writing tipped the scales in the book's favor. Otherwise, you're left to sink or swim based on your art. After all, comics are a visual medium - if it doesn't look good, maybe it should be prose. To look at the art in this book, it's clear that it came from a webcomic background. It's rough and rushed - fine if you're trying to keep some sort of consistent online schedule, but nowhere near polished enough if you want people to pay. Then again, what is "art"? It's all subjective, so maybe it's not my cup of tea, but it may appeal to someone else. With that in mind, let's talk about the story itself.

How I Made It To Eighteen is somewhat based on the author's life, though events and names have been changed to protect other people. The main character, Stacy Black, is a recent high school graduate who has found herself at a crossroads. She doesn't want to go to college, but she doesn't exactly have a plan for her life. She's obsessed with her emotionally unavailable, yet controlling, boyfriend, and she has a strained relationship with her mother. Through a series of events, she finds herself checked into Golden Meadows Hospital, and the book follows her struggles with depression, addiction, and eating disorders. Now, let me say that I get the draw of this premise: on paper, this should be a great book to share with young women who might be going through similar circumstances. By no means do I wish to belittle Ms. White's experiences, and many young women might be able to relate to her struggle. It's for these same reasons, however, that I feel the book is a letdown. Considering the heft of the subject matter, it might be unrealistic to expect everything to be neatly wrapped up in a little bow by the end. That said, I did expect to get more out of the book than I got. The book doesn't indicate that it's a part of a series, but it feels incomplete - almost as if the entire story isn't presented here. If this had been a documentary, we would've just been forced to digest the information that was captured, and we'd have the understanding that the footage was edited the best it could be, given what was available. Here, however, the author is in control of the narrative, but it doesn't feel as if she realized it. The book travels at a somewhat slow pace, but it feels like the ending was thrown together in order to satisfy a deadline. Has the character of Stacy made any progress by this point? Yes, but the reader isn't given enough information from which to draw any conclusions. I guess the editor felt the same way, as the book ends with a tacked on epilogue page, which has as much substance as those movie end credits that flash a character and say "Bobby went off to 'Nam. He never came home."

This is the kind of book that comic snobs LOVE, as it shows you can do more with the comic medium than just feature capes and boobs. Well, you can use comics to tell autobiographical tales, but the successful ones are a lot better than this. The book has promise, but it doesn't stick the landing. I can forgive the art, as its minimal, rough look doesn't mar the narrative in any way. What I can't forgive is the fact that it just doesn't seem like it was mapped out before it was put on the page. As I said before, a lot of small press books fail because the creators don't seem to be thinking long-term. Ms White might be skilled in the webcomic format, but I'm not sold on her printed work.

I really shouldn't like this series. All signs point to why this should be a bad idea. The designs are by Todd McFarlane, it really just plays like Albino Spawn, and it looks '90s as Hell. That said, I found myself really enjoying this book. In fact, I was even buying it in single-issue form; I only got the trade because someone gave it to me. Let's take a closer look at what this series is all about.

Haunt's origins stem from a publicity stunt from 2006's San Diego Comic Con. Robert Kirkman had been evangelizing to creators about the benefits of only working on creator-owned projects. During a panel, Kirkman called out Todd McFarlane, and challenged him to return to comics. Todd had spent the last few years fending off lawsuits, making toys, and playing with his expensive balls. Nobody expected Kirkman to be the one to bring Todd back to the comic world, but Todd later accepted the challenge. Kirkman eventually became an Image partner, but nothing was mentioned about their collaboration for quite some time. Then, Haunt was announced.

Haunt is the story of Father Daniel Kilgore, a Catholic priest who seems to have lost all faith in the church. He's got a regular weekly date with a hooker. His estranged brother, Kurt, actually stole his girlfriend and married her - the event which initially drove Daniel to the priesthood. That same brother still comes around for weekly confession. You see, he's a black ops agent who feels the need to atone for the actions he's forced to take in the field. As the story opens, Kurt is telling Daniel about a recent mission, where a doctor had been conducting genetic experiments on human subjects. While Kurt's mission was to rescue the doctor, he was so appalled by what he found that he killed the doctor and rescued the test subjects instead. Apparently, the doctor kept a notebook of his experiment, but Kurt didn't know about it. Unfortunately for Kurt, he's immediately kidnapped and tortured to reveal the whereabouts of the notes. When it becomes clear that Kurt either doesn't know anything or won't cooperate, he's killed. That's when shit gets real!

Not only does Daniel start seeing Ghost Kurt, but when they "touch", Daniel is overcome by a type of symbiote which forms a suit around him. This, in effect, makes him White Power Spawn. With Kurt's murderers targeting his friends and family, the suit becomes quite the defensive weapon, cutting them down in gruesome fashion. Eventually, Daniel is taken in by Kurt's former organization, and becomes Agent Haunt. If you've ever seen an episode of 24, then you know that every covert organization has a mole, so that gets dealt with. Also, Haunt kills more thugs with his symbiotic tendrils. I won't spoil all the twists and turns, but the end of the arc finds Daniel quitting the church, and actually looking forward to a life using his new-found powers.

As I said in the beginning, I shouldn't like this book. Sure, I like Kirkman's work, but I don't like all of his stuff. This book, from the look to the subject matter, could've come out in 1994. To be perfectly honest, that's probably why I bought into it to begin with. As we've covered in the past, my mom was a bit of an evangelical, and most of my X-Men comics were seen as "demonic", so there was no way in Hell that I was gonna be able to bring Spawn into the house! So, considering that this, at least from a visual perspective, just seemed like a retread of that idea, I guess I saw it as my second chance.

While Haunt Vol. 1 only collects the first 6 issues, I can tell you that I've already read the next story arc in the series. While I enjoy the character of Daniel, I don't feel like there's a ton to do with him. I think the problem with a lot of comics is that they don't know when to quit. Vertigo has a good model where they know that most series are going to top out around 60 issues. This concept could've been wrapped in 12. Issue #12 does provide a nice bit of closure to things, though there doesn't seem to be an end in sight. I feel that the book and characters have pretty much already achieved what they set out to do. Sure, there are always "bold new directions", but that's not the best move for every title. I think Haunt is a nice little trip down Image Memory Lane, but it's only a nice place to *visit*. It's so derivative of other things that it's only a matter of time before storylines and characters start to look familiar. Considering that the series was the product of a challenge, I guess it's only fitting that I challenge them to prove me wrong.

Kickass 2 #1: Why? I mean, the first series was created and fast tracked to Hollywood faster than anything I know of. When you think about how Spider-Man was in development limbo for over 20 years, yet Millar gets cameras rolling before the last issue ships, well it's just mindblowing. Say what you will about the man, but he seems to know business. That said, why keep this as a comic? The money can't be better than Hollywood. It's a movie now, so keep it a movie.

Also, I didn't like the look of JR Jr's art this time around. Looked almost like watercolors. Gave it a dreamy effect I did not like.

Based on the way the Millar Model works, this book feels like one of those movie prequel/sequels that IDW puts out. Ya know, the ones that you know don't "count" or "matter", despite the publisher's protests to the contrary. When Kickass 2 makes it to theaters, it ain't gonna look like this. What you're reading is just something Millar threw together to tide you over.

Avengers #6: I went on an Avengers rant during the last batch of Comical Thoughts, but the end of this story arc just brought about more things I didn't like. At the end of the day, you hire Bendis for his "talky talky" shtick. You do NOT hire Bendis for time travel stories. We have Warren Ellis for those. Time travel''s not supposed to "make sense", as it's time travel. At the same time, it should be written in a way where the reader immediately cosigns with "Well, time travel is confusing". Instead, this storyline was built on the back of Bendis's desire to really make you think about time travel, which is where it falls apart. Countless web geeks have pointed out the temporal flaws in Back to the Future, but you're not supposed to focus on them. It feels like Bendis set out to make time travel "accessible", when he really just pointed out that he didn't know what the fuck he was talking about.

It's ironic because this was an example where Bendis's signature strength was his biggest failure. The man is known for his decompression, as he can stretch any story out to the 6-issue length that is loved by Borders and Barnes & Noble. The problem here is that this story should've been told in no more than 3 issues. By stretching it out, it exposed more holes and flaws. You can keep your mouth shut, and have people assume you're an idiot, or you can open your mouth and prove to them that you're one. This introductory arc just proved that Bendis still needs to learn when to keep his mouth closed.

Secret Avengers #6: I get why "Avengers" is on the cover, but that's not an accurate description of who they are. If anything, this book should've been a relaunch of the Secret Warriors concept.

Teen Titans #88: this is the debut of yet another creative team tasked with making the team relevant again. Since the Young Justice cartoon is on the way, starring much of the Teen Titans roster, you could say a lot is riding on this one. It was a decent read, with good art, and a last page that teases a development I find intriguing.

I will say this: I dropped Teen Titans over a year ago, as the creative teams just seemed to be flying without a plan. While I was gone, Titans were killed, new members were added, and there were a couple of Titans-wide crossovers. To join the book today, it's almost like reading the book from the good days, right before I dropped it. That might sound like a good thing - that I can pick it up after all this time without feeling I've missed a beat. However, I can't help but feel that it's a slap in the face to the people who stuck with the book through all that, only to find that those stories and events no longer "matter". It's not like there was a retcon, as the stories still exist, however the script even drops a reference to the fact that those issues were the wrong direction for the team. The acknowledgment is refreshing, but it's still odd how a year's worth of comics were nothing more than the result of a "Well, we had to put out something" attitude. I guess I'm just used to comics using cataclysmic events as agents of change rather than the way Teen Titans has gone about it.

Detective Comics #870: This was the conclusion of a filler arc, but I just wanted to say how glad I was to see Scott McDaniel's art. About 10 years ago, he was THE Batman artist. Sure, his style may not have been as clean as an Aparo or even Lee, but it was always kinetic. He's great at showing Batman in action. He went from Nightwing to Batman to Green Arrow, and then kinda fell off the map. It just goes to show how easily someone can go from golden boy to guest star in this industry.

Uncanny X-Men #529: I'm going to need someone to get Whilce Portacio off this book. He brings a reputation with him, as he was one of the Image founders. That said, he's always the one who dropped out and never really perfected his style.

If you look back, ALL the Image founders had similar styles. Over time, it seems like Top Cow is the only Image imprint that retains a house style. Everyone is built on the foundation of Silvestri, while adding their own particular flourishes. This was true of Michael Turner, Brandon Peterson, David Finch and Michael Broussard. You even see hints of it in early J. Scott Campbell, before he developed his own style. That's what Whilce Portacio's art looks like today: unfinished early J. Scott Campbell. Some might think that's a compliment, but there are many homeroom classes in America, with kids in the back row, doodling in an early J. Scott Campbell style. Those same kids aren't being paid to draw friggin' X-Men.

Ultimate Enemy #4: Saw that coming a mile away. When you consider that any Marvel Universe *needs* a Dr Doom, combined with the oft-discussed FF period where Reed became Dr Doom, you kinda knew the Ultimate Universe would eat that up. I AM surprised that it was based out of Ultimate Power, seeing as how nobody read that book. Then again, it, too, was written by Jeph Loeb (by the end of the series, at least), so of course he was gonna pimp his own work. I just don't see why this "saga" requires three 4-part miniseries. It would be best if he would take some of that time and figure out what he wants to do with Ultimate X. After all, it really hard to tell a compelling story about Alternate Universe Wolverine's son, when Regular Wolverine's son is a badass bisexual assassin. The Ultimate Universe is no longer the most exciting place to be in the Marvel Multiverse - especially since the Ultimatum Wave killed all the interesting characters.

Darkwing Duck #4: I've already tweeted that I felt this series was a love letter to the fans. It's that good and more. We already knew that Darkwing Duck was in the same universe as Duck Tales, due to Launchpad and Gizmoduck's appearances. This issue, however, just served to strengthen those bonds. So, what started out as a Darkwing Duck revival, is now also a Duck Tales revival. I didn't think things could get any better, and then we got that last page reveal. I'm really excited to see where this comic is heading.

Skullkickers #1: more like "Walletfuckers". Overhyped, derivative dreck. It was billed as "The Hangover meets D&D". Whoever came up with that either needs to be fired or promoted. Either way, I won't be taking a second look.

Action Comics #894: This is the one we'd all been awaiting: the reintroduction of Vertigo characters into DCU Proper. I've always been a fan of Neil Gaiman's depiction of Death, as no one can resist a cute goth girl with a sense of naivete. That said, I don't know if this issue accomplished all that we were expecting. If nothing else, I think it just planted the seed of the future possibilities now that these characters are available for DCU creators to use. I am curious how they will fit into a theological model that also includes The Spectre. It was certainly an interesting read, but it read more like "special filler" than an "event". Maybe that was the point.

That does it for now. Guess I should do some "work" or something...

This week marked the release of Scarlet #1, the new creator-owned Marvel/Icon comic from Brian Michael Bendis and Alex Maleev. While the duo were well-known for their successful run on Daredevil, I went into this book with mixed feelings. Why was that? Well, I guess you could say that it's an example of "In Real Life Made Me Hate You". Let's take a step back in time, shall we?

Brian Michael Bendis was the first comic writer whose work I purchased solely because of the writer. In the past, I bought X-Men because everybody bought X-Men. I bought Batman because, well, he was Batman. Bendis, however, made me stray outside of that. I never really cared much for Avengers, since they were D-listers at the time, but Bendis got on the book, and I followed suit. While his overarching stories may not be consistent, he's a master of dialogue. He's pretty much popularized the "talking head" comic in the modern industry, much to the chagrin of many fanboys. I, however, LOVED his work. I read his autobiographical comics, like Total Sell-Out and Fortune & Glory, plus I even gave Powers a try (still don't get the hype on that book). Based on Avengers and his Ultimate Marvel work, I think it was safe to say that Bendis was my favorite writer in comics. With that in mind, of course it would have been an honor for me to meet him.

Fast forward to 2008, at the Baltimore Comic-Con. Bendis was making the rare convention appearance out East, and I saw this as my chance to finally get to meet my favorite writer. I got in line for his table EARLY, as we knew he'd be signing, but no one seemed to know when. On top of that, he was doing back to back panels, which seemed to be running over schedule. I'd been to a handful of Baltimore shows, so I knew I wasn't missing much on the floor. If you've seen Howard Chaykin once, then that's all you need. Bendis, however, was the goal. I must've stood in that line for over 4 hours. Sure, I had some interesting fanboy conversations over the course of that time, but I still wasted the better part of the day in that line. When I finally got up to Bendis, he spent the time chatting away on his iPhone. I don't think he even looked at me. He kinda scrawled his autograph on my comic (which, by the way, didn't look nearly as good as the potentially fake autograph I'd bought at a show some years earlier. At least that one looked like it said "BENDIS"). Before I could really say anything to him, he handed it back and briefly moved the phone aside to say, "Here ya go, champ", in the manner of your mom's new boyfriend who didn't care enough to learn your name.

Now, I know that whole thing sounds like I have a sense of geek entitlement, but I really expected more. A lot of people have asked, "Well, what did you expect him to do?" I really can't tell you, but I certainly expected actually get to say something to him. I'm sure everybody says the same, trite "I love your work", but isn't that part and parcel of the convention signing experience? At least pretend he cares about his fans. Whenever you read these stories, someone in the comments will say "Well, maybe he was tired" or "'Maybe he was having a bad day". None of that seemed to apply here. He was happy and spry; he just wasn't present. Never meet your heroes, kid. Anyway, my opinion of him kind of took a hit after that, while his star has only continued to rise. I was already grandfathered into his earlier series (like New Avengers and Ultimate Spider-Man), but I wasn't sure I wanted to get on that horse again. Petty, I know. So, this is where I was coming from when I heard about Scarlet. Due to the buzz surrounding the book, I decided to give it a shot. In retrospect, it's a great book that I'm not quite sure I should've read.

I don't want to ruin it for you, because the story has an angle to it that should be experienced by the reader. As a quick elevator pitch, Scarlet is the story of a woman who, upon realizing that the world isn't fair, decides that she's going to change all of that - by any means necessary. It's a book with a message, and it's a potentially dangerous message. It's almost like Falling Down, the Michael Douglas movie where one bad day pretty much sets an average Joe on a self-destructive path. I say it may not have been the book for me because of what my life has been going through as of late. It speaks to me, and it probably speaks to other readers as well. This familiarity will be good for the book's accessibility, but do we really need to make angry people any angrier? It could almost be seen as inspirational, but what is it inspiring? It takes the notion of "The World Is Screwed Up", but follows it up with a "So, What Are You Going To Do About It?"

Seeing as how it's the first issue, it's not exactly preachy, but focuses more on providing background info on Scarlet. It will be interesting to see how the book proceeds, seeing as how Bendis has said it's not meant to be a political book. After all, this means that it will be a battle cry for a revolution that doesn't specify the end goal. It almost sounds like an invitation to chaos, while it could also follow the notion that society has to be fully destroyed before it can be rebuilt. It's an interesting concept, and I look forward to seeing where the book is headed. I hate to admit it, but Bendis has still got it. Maybe one day, I might get the chance to tell him that.