Glee: The Music Presents The Warblers
I haven't really discussed Glee much on this site. I actually wrote a pretty scathing review of the "sneak preview" that Fox aired back in '09, but it's still sitting in draft form. Basically, I didn't think the show would last, but I wanted to give it a chance to prove itself. After a bit, I became happy with myself for not publishing that post, as I fell in love with the show.
Season 1 of Glee was this musical quirk fest that shouldn't exist, yet somehow became popular - kinda like Lady Gaga. You'd ask anyone why they liked it, and you'd get the Apple Jacks response: "I dunno. I just do." Glee launched a bit slowly, but then exploded after winter hiatus during its first season. Of course, the candle that burns brightest burns fastest. Season 2 started off contrived, and just continued to go downhill. In conversations I've had with folks, I've pointed out that I was driven away by how preachy the character of Kurt had become. If you want to know more about that viewpoint, we can handle that in another post. Mainly, I felt that few of the characters were likable, and it was no longer worth tuning in just to hear the gold that comes from Brittany and Santana's mouths - especially when those lines will just end up on twitter.
My biggest problem with the second season, however, is the role that the music now fulfills: in the first season, the plot dictated the song choices, but now it's the other way around, as the song choices have begun to dictate the plot. It was already illogical that these kids would break out in song this much, but now it's harder to believe that they all suffered Britney Spears-centric hallucinations from a visit to the dentist. These are Sitcom Season 6 plotlines, when the cast is just trying to burn off some stories to add to the syndication count. Glee now feels like an odd combination of lazy/forced, as you can tell that a lot of work went into the musical aspect, but they're just so lazy in setting up a *reason* for said music. So, I gave up on the show about 6 episodes into the season. However, one good thing did come from this season: The Warblers.
I dropped out of Glee just as The Warblers were introduced, so I don't know the full story there (nor do I care enough to wiki it). I know Kurt was thinking of transferring to Dalton Academy, and his new school would feature this A-MAH-zing all-male group called The Warblers. While New Directions music contained instrumentation, The Warblers were full-on a cappella, bringing a new sound to the show while also showing people that not all show choirs are a cappella (and vice versa).
Once I gave up the show, I continued downloading the songs, as I still liked the music - especially the songs that clearly had unique arrangements and weren't just karaoke versions of Top 40 hits. The tracks that never failed to impress me all came from The Warblers. Not only do they tackle some pretty intricate arrangements, but they also have a sound remiscent of late 90s collegiate a cappella, which was a time before technology came to dominate those recordings. Currently, as technology has become cheaper, a cappella recordings have started abusing autotune as much as Top 40 radio.
The main force behind The Warblers' sound would be the Tufts Beelzebubs, an all-male collegiate a cappella group from Tufts University. The Bubs dominated a cappella during the late 90s/early '00s with a clean blend that was achieved through talent and effective mixing, but didn't overuse unnecessary effects. The current Bubs actually contribute the vocals for The Warblers, and it's nice to hear that the group is still amazing at what they do. When you meet someone on the street and tell them you sang a cappella, they always ask "Oh, like Rockapella?". Yeah, sure, but what we really wanted to be were The Bubs, The Derbies, The Crosbies or The Dukesmen. So, you could say I'm a fan.
I finally got around to listening to Glee: The Music Presents The Warblers, which collects the Warbler songs that have been featured on the show. I had heard tracks here and there, but after listening to them altogether, I feel that this is once of the best a cappella albums I've heard in QUITE some time. From start to finish, from song selection to blend, this is a nearly flawless collection. Plus, it's nice that Chris Colfer has a platform where his voice can finally shine. He has that distinctive voice where, in an a choral setting, it would be a bitch to get him to blend, but the trade-off would be that he's a dynamic soloist.
There are some real standout tracks on this collection. A cappella groups have done a good job reinterpreting Train songs, and that's true here as they guys turn in a great arrangement of "Hey, Soul Sister."You can also hear the fun in their voices in their cover of "Animal" by Neon Trees. Out of nowhere, they blow the doors off "When I Get You Alone", originally performed by a "Robin-less" Thicke. Finally, I found myself really enjoying a simple, yet still moving, rendition of Keane's "Somewhere Only We Know". If there's one track that might go into the "miss" category, I'd have to say it's their version of "Blackbird". It's not bad, per se, but it lacked the dynamics of the other arrangements. Other than that, it's a solid collection.
If you went to a school that didn't dabble in a cappella, or if you just want to hear what some consider to be the gold standard of collegiate a cappella, you can't go wrong with Glee: The Music Presents The Warblers. I consider this a nice little "Bon Voyage To Glee" present for me. I came for the Lea Michele, but I left with the Darren Criss. Y'all let me know if they ever make a Warblers spinoff show.
Skins US: Karaoke Television
About a year ago, I found myself unemployed. Instead of diligently sending out resumes in order to "turn my career around", I found myself spending my time either watching TV online or plotting revenge against my former employer. I had just finished watching an awesome UK series called Misfits, and I found that the same YouTube uploader also had a ton of episodes of a show called Skins. By this point, the series was up to season 3 in the UK, so I spent the next 2 weeks watching one of the best television shows I've ever seen. While Skins tends to receive layman comparisons to that other edgy teen franchise, Degrassi, it's more accurately a mash-up of the films Cruel Intentions and Kids. Sure, it tackles teen issues such as sex and drugs, but there's also a diabolical nature to some of the characters - they almost see others as their own personal playthings. As with all great things from abroad, America decided to get in on the action; instead of just importing the show, a la Degrassi, they decided to make a US version - which wasn't a very good idea.
The US version of Skins debuted last Monday night on MTV, after an aggressive ad campaign leading up to its premiere. Let's rewind, though, and look at the production process a bit. When the show was first announced, fans of the original were already questioning how committed a US network would be to the graphic nature of the show. Like Kids, Skins is pretty raw when it comes to its depiction of teen sex and drug use. American networks are still wary of adults in those situations, and Lord only knew what the Bible Belt would have to say once all was said and done.
Once it was announced that MTV would be the home of the show, that only led to more questions. While MTV has gotten edgier with recent scripted programming (see The Hard Times of RJ Berger), those are usually comedies. This was meant to show the *real* lives of teenagers, which led to 2 basic questions: 1) how real would MTV all the show to be? and 2) is America even ready for such a product? Both questions are answered in one of the first frames of the show. You see, in the UK version, the episode opens as Tony wakes up under the following sheets:
I always found it funny that his parents even allowed him to have those ('cause you know he ain't doing his own linen laundry!), but I just wrote it off as "Well, it's Europe and they're more free about that stuff." When the US version started, what do we see? Tony's sheets are covered in SPIDERS (screencap unavailable). OK, so they changed the sheets. Not such a big deal. What happened next did bother me, however.
Part of Tony's morning regimen includes peeping at the MILF who lives across the street. Clearly, she's in on the whole thing, and enjoys the attention, so she lingers in the window fully nude. At least, she does in the UK version. I remember the first time I saw that episode, I was surprised by more-than-average sideboob right in the first 2 minutes! That sets a tone. That same tone is missing in the US version, when you see that MILF Neighbor's parts are conveniently blocked from view by the window treatment. Yes, I understand that US television is still in a puritanical state, but pulling punches like that is a prime example as to why "Americanizing" the show was a bad idea. I get that they can't show bare breasts, but in the original above, you also get an ass shot, but not in America. Hell, even Nip/Tuck got away with showing asses, and it's the same level of basic cable and same timeslot as Skins on MTV.
I also hate this new trend where scripted MTV characters say "fuck" but it's bleeped out. If the "F" gets out before the bleep, we know they're saying "fuck". This is more an issue with lame standards & practices rules, but after a certain hour, they should just go ahead and say the full word. Otherwise, it just seems like another example of pulling punches - trying to be "safely edgy".
Some of the other things that bothered me were merely cosmetic. For example, the US theme song is "Lina Magic" by 3D Friends.
Lina Magic by 3DFRIENDS
While it's kind of haunting, and I definitely get where they're going with it, I'm still really attached to the theme from the UK version, by Segal:
After 4 seasons, I just feel it's the anthem of the franchise, so it's kind of odd to me to hear something else. Plus, not to get all "music theory" about it, but the UK theme really embodies the anarchy and atonal nature of adolescence, while the US theme sounds like something you'd hear played at The Bronze on Buffy.
The US version of Skins also comes with a few name and race changes. "Sidney" becomes "Stanley", and "Anwar" becomes "Abbud", and "Effy" becomes "Eura" ('cause that sounds better, apparently). Black overachiever "Jal" becomes Asian overachiever "Daisy", and drugged out Taylor Swift-lookalike "Cassie" becomes biracial ten-years-ago-would've-been-portrayed-by-Persia-White "Cadie".
The biggest change, however, is that gay male dancer Maxie becomes lesbian cheerleader Tea. Now, I don't really miss Maxie because he didn't do much. Over the course of the first 2 seasons of Skins, Maxie spent most of the time dancing on rooftops and dodging his stalker (not as awesome as it sounds). Tea, however, doesn't seem much more developed. While it is intriguing that she's a closeted lesbian on the cheerleading squad, promo materials seem to imply she was added just to amp up the bitch factor of the show. So far, she's portrayed as aggressive, selfish, and somewhat unfeeling. Maxie was, by far, the nicest member of the group, so it makes me wonder what's to be gained from this character substitution. While the addition of Tea will probably provide the opportunity to diverge from the UK plots, it does eliminate the friendship of Anwar and Maxie - which was one of the most sincere aspects of Skins UK. While Maxie on his own didn't do much, there are a lot of good stories surrounding Anwar trying to reconcile his Islamic religious views with his friendship with Maxie. The more comfortable Maxie becomes with his sexuality, the less comfortable Anwar becomes with their friendship. They spend the better part of a season finding their way back to each other, and that character arc redeems the show even when it hits its darkest levels; I hate to think that the US version will miss out on that. It doesn't seem that Abbud and Tea are as close as their UK counterparts, mainly due to the fact that Abbud is too much of a horndog to successfully have a girl best friend.
Outside of name/race/gender changes, the Skins premiere is almost a note-for-note translation of the UK debut. While this might sound like praise, I found this to be a problem. At its best, it played out like "karaoke television", as the American cast did their best to ape the originators of their roles. For viewers of the original series, you might get lost in the "OK, I can see this guy as Stanley/Sidney", but that didn't add anything to the experience. The actors are capable, but they're not better than the UK actors. For those who hadn't seen the UK series, I almost feel bad for them, as I don't really know what's in it for them. In imitating the UK actors so precisely, the US actors lost all meaning and motivation behind their actions. It comes off less as "Stan is buying drugs because he thinks it'll help him get laid", and seems more like "Stan is buying drugs because that's what Sid did the first time this script was filmed". Also, I know I used the terms "raw" and "real" a lot in the beginning, but that's how the original series felt. Due to American cable standards and practices, the stakes are much lower. There's only so much they're going to get away with, and it's all the kind of stuff you could find in other shows. The US series is hardly destination television, as I found it a chore to get through, while the UK version was quite riveting. At most, it might be worth following just to marvel at how closely they reenact the UK episodes, but I think I'll check back once the season is over so that I can watch them all in one fell swoop.
A question I feel I need to revisit is "How *real* is Skins?" I honestly don't know the answer to that. I certainly believe that these kids exist, despite the better wishes of the world's parents. I don't think it's a show that parents would enjoy if they went into watching it as parents. I think I loved the UK show, mainly, due to my sheltered upbringing. I think I was fascinated by it because I felt it was refreshing to see teenagers do something other than pull pranks on their principal or cheat at driver's ed. I knew these kids existed, but I wasn't one of them, nor did I grow up with them. As with most UK shows I've loved, there's always been an aspect of "Wow, they're so different over there", and by thinking of the subject matter as "exotic", the show became that much more fascinating to me. I'm not that naive, however, and I realize that the stuff the Skins teens get into can happen anywhere. That's what kind of killed the magic for me when they announced a US iteration. Not that the locale was a character in the show, but the British sensibility did lend itself to the show - so much so that I found myself wanting the US cast to at least fake some accents or something. So, it could just be the snob in me saying that I didn't like Skins US mainly because it's not quintessentially "British" anymore. I can be honest enough to admit that may be a possibility. What I do know is that this Americanized version just doesn't do it for me. If MTV wanted to be cutting edge, they could've just imported the original series. That series felt like groundbreaking television; this iteration just feels like they're playing Dress-Up
Adventures West Coast – The Archie Wedding: Archie In “Will You Marry Me?”
The beauty of writing these things when I do is that I get to miss the hype that accompanies the initial release. At that point, everybody's writing about it and you run the risk of having your own opinion tainted by what you end up reading in those reviews. I read a lot of articles dedicated to this particular storyline, but luckily I no longer remember most of them. What I do remember is that most people hated the story, which sounds about right seeing as how most comic fans hate everything.
The Archie Wedding: Archie In "Will You Marry Me?" collects the eight-part headline making storyline where the ambivalent teenager finally puts an end to the 70 year old question: "Betty or Veronica?" The catch, however, is that he chooses both. Using a plot device that finds Archie walking up Memory Lane instead of down, he ends up getting a glimpse of his own future. Framed around Robert Frost's "The Road Not Taken", Archie first chooses the path on the left, which shows him what his life would be like if he were to marry Veronica.
The Veronica Marriage turns out to be nowhere near as bad as I would've thought going into it. Considering Veronica has behaved like a spoiled bitch most of her existence, I expected her to make Archie's life a living Hell. Instead, however, it seems that the marriage and partnership between Archie and Ronnie turns her into a kinder person, and they become a stronger unit for it. Mr Lodge sees potential in Archie, giving him a prestigious corporate job. Archie and Ronnie have twins. Archie, who next to Dick Clark is America's oldest teenager, *gasps* becomes a responsible husband and father.
The thing I found funny about the whole affair is that up to the very point of proposal, the entire town had no clue which way he would go. Even Archie's own parents only figured it out because the bank called to verify the amount of the check he had cashed to buy the ring, which indicated to them that he had chosen Veronica. There's no indication that their relationship had really grown in the "missing years", and it had the same impact as if he had simply proposed in high school.
After putting his twins to bed, Archie takes another stroll up Memory Lane, and ends up taking the other path. At this point, he finds himself back at the day of his college graduation, and he realizes that his future with Ronnie hadn't (hasn't?) happened. Here's where things seemed a bit fucked up to me. You see, at the graduation afterparty, all signs point to Archie choosing Veronica. He even pulls her aside to talk with her, but she blows him off because all she can talk about is the European trip she's about to embark upon. It's at this moment that he realizes he'll never fit into her jet set world. So, he slinks away from her only to cross the room and promptly propose to Betty. See, in the Veronica story, he was genuinely in love with Ronnie, but in the Betty story, he's still in love with Ronnie, but *settles* for Betty. What a great foundation on which to build a marriage!
Archie's parents seem bewildered by his choice. They were excited when it was Veronica, but freak out when it's Betty. I think Mr & Mrs Andrews might've been a bunch of golddiggers. Also, Archie and Betty have no money, so their wedding is a small affair at Pop's, while he and Ronnie had a media circus of a wedding. Once the festivities are over, Archie finds himself jobless, while Betty has a jr executive position waiting in New York. They move to the Big Apple, where Archie becomes a struggling musician, while Betty succeeds in the corporate world. He's pretty miserable, which is only made worse one night when he's berated by one of Betty's superiors. Standing by her man, she tells off her boss, quits her job, and they move back to Riverdale. Gradually, things get a little better, as Betty begins teaching at Riverdale High, where Archie becomes the new music teacher. They both flourish in their new roles, and go on to have twins.
There are a lot of problems with this storyline, but the main one is that it's simply not fun. Now, I realize that times have changed. While the comics do quite well in Europe, American children no longer grow up regularly reading Archie. That said, the books are still being published for that audience, yet this particular series clearly wasn't written with children in mind. In fact, I'd be hard-pressed to know who is the target audience for the book. The general tone of it is "adulthood sucks". There's no real silver lining, nor is there an awesome ending. Give this thing to an emo teen, and he would promptly commit suicide, as its view on life is pretty bleak. If the book was geared towards adult Archie fans, then it's still a slap in the face, as it serves as a mirror of their own mundane lives. It's Archie's lowest creative point since the time when he was featured in those Spire Christian Comics.
I now realize the story isn't over, as this miniseries just served as a set-up to continued over time. There's a new Life With Archie: The Married Life magazine which follows the adventures of Married Archie, both with Veronica and Betty. I just don't know who would want to read more. It's depressing, almost like certain Family Circle or Funky Winkerbean strips. For example, it's just been revealed that Ms Grundy will succumb to cancer in an upcoming issue. Why?!! That's like giving Mr. Belding Alzheimer's?! Who the fuck wants to see that? This story is tailor made for the same people who always watched those Brady Bunch reunion movies. You know, where Bobby has a race car accident and Jan's getting separated from her husband? It's continuity porn for the mundane, and it never needed to exist.
I LOVE a good future tale, especially if there's a chance that it might be the "definitive" future, but you use that format as an opportunity to take some chances! Say that Archie and Veronica tour the world as a Sonny & Cher-esque spin-off of The Archies. Say that Archie and Betty are saving pandas or some shit. Do NOT give Archie a 9 to 5 and a minivan!
I'm sure somebody out there was glad to see this, but I'm certainly not one of them. Then again, I want to think there's more a more colorful future for Archie than the boring-ass shit depicted in this story. I did, however, like that Archie seemed to choose Veronica in both cases. Sure, it's not balanced, but everyone loves a good bitch. Plus, you just know that Betty gets fat.
RePlay: Oi to the World!
So, yesterday we covered La Bouche, and the voice behind the hits, Melanie Thornton. Well, around that same time period, I was also really into No Doubt. I guess it all came down to local radio: DC had just gotten a pop station with the arrival of Z104, but there were only so many times that Billy Bush could play that Ultimate Dance Party '96 CD without you wanting to go on a killing spree. So, I'd switch over to the late, great WHFS (the good one, where the Spanish station is now) and get my "alternative" fix. Sure, No Doubt eventually made their way to the Z104s of the world, but for this moment in time, "Just A Girl" and the like were still confined to specific genre stations.
Now, I didn't actually discover this song until many years after it came out. In fact, it was during my stint as a retail slave at H&M that I first heard it, as it was part of our "hip" holiday playlist. That playlist was a welcome change, as most of H&M's music choices sounded like the soundtrack to a date rape at someone's loft. Anyway, being all European and whatnot, the company's Christmas music skewed towards the secular, especially when it came to groups with the words "Good" or "Charlotte" in their name. I remember not even really thinking it was a holiday song at first, as it was so...different. You know what first caught my ear? The mention of "nunchucks"! If you hear any reference to nunchucks, and your ears do not perk up, then you cannot call yourself a man. And then I was like, "Oh, shit! Haji just pulled a sword?!" Once you go back and listen to the thing from the beginning, then you realize the ska "Joy To The World" melody, and well as the "If God came down on Christmas day" reference.
I think I also like this song for the same reason that Tony Kanal probably liked it: it wasn't about HIM. By this point, I'm surprised that Tony never stormed off stage with a "God, bitch! Fucking get over yourself!" Anyway, this was originally a song by The Vandals, but they were friendly with No Doubt, which paved this way for this cover. It's not the kind of song that's gonna make you reach for a cup of cocoa and turn on The Grinch, but it does prove that there's no one way to make a holiday song.
RePlay: Santa Packs and the Wonderful Dream
So, the holidays tend to be a sentimental time, with memories triggered by the sights and sounds of the season. Now, I can be a sensitive guy, but I don't really cry at many movies or TV shows. That's why it was surprising to me when I found a lump in my throat from a particular commercial. In recent years, you may have seen this Coke commercial announcing that the "Holidays Are Coming!", but it originally touted the arrival of Coca-Cola's holiday Santa Packs:
I think the aspect that really appeals to me is that it really heralds the approach of the Christmas season, and makes it feel more epic that it already does. My birthday is actually December 23rd, so I always made a big deal counting down to that day and Christmas. To watch the commercial today, it almost seems as if the Coke trucks are the road crew for a big concert or circus coming to town. Sure, Coke got a lot of mileage out of the polar bears, but this was the commercial that I always anticipated. So, you can imagine how surprised I was when I discovered that Melanie Thornton had recorded a full length version of the song in Europe.
No, I know you think you don't know who Melanie Thronton, but trust me - you do. If you've ever hear the chick asking you to be her lover, or droning on about her sweet dreams of rhythm and dancing, then you're already familiar. For most of the '90s, Melanie Thornton was the singer for Eurodance act La Bouche. In 2001, she released her first solo album, which included the song "Wonderful Dream":
While the studio version of the song is a bit more clear, I chose the version above for a particular reason. You see, only a few hours after that very performance, Melanie was killed in a plane crash near Zurich, Switzerland. Tragically, she never lived to release another single from her album, which was ironically titled Ready To Fly.
I was a fool for La Bouche, as I had all the studio AND remix albums. On top of that, I was, and still am, a fool for Christmas. Nowadays, when I hear that song, I still get a little choked up, but for other reasons. With Melanie's passing, the Eurodance world lost an amazing voice, but she chose a magical song on which to go out. So, the "Holidays Are Coming" song still makes me long for Christmas, but I'll always hear a little bit of Melanie in there.
World Wide West
So, I haven't been so great with posting lately, but that doesn't mean that I haven't been online. In fact, I just posted my 10,000th tweet today, so I clearly still have a lot of time on my hands. Even though I haven't had much here recently, I have been showcased in a few other places on the web. Let's take a closer look at some of that:
1) For anyone into the Vice Magazine scene, Street Carnage is the site to visit. A few weeks ago , things got out of hand as @StreetCarnage Twitter followers got into a huge "No Homo" parody game. I assure you that it's not as offensive as it might sound, but I can't even begin to explain it; you'd best click that link to get a better understanding as to where things eventually ended up. In any case, something that started as a way to pass time on a Saturday afternoon ended up with me getting my name on a site that I actually didn't own. Check it out:
As you can see, the whole "experiment" produced a bunch of groaners, but it's still kinda cool that I got acknowledged.
2) A few weeks after that, I found that I got a retweet/reply from @FakeeEtiquette. Again, nothing major, but it's still nice to be retweeted by an entity with more than 9,000 followers. If you have any "aspiring actor" friends, you'll probably relate to this:
3) A few weeks before all of that, I helped kick off my friend Marcus's new internet radio show. I've crossposted some of the stuff I've written for his site (TGRIOnline.com), and this is just another one of his hairbrained schemes to take over the world. In any case, I love anything that gets me more attention, and it was a fun experience. You can listen to that show here.
Also, I don't think he has announced it, but I'm scheduled to be on again tomorrow night, so be sure to tune in!
4) Finally, in my aimless attempt at "brand extension", I've found myself with a Tumblr . Now, some of you might be asking "Why do you need another website?" Others might be asking "What's Tumblr?" Let's answer that last one first: from what I've gathered, it's all the best parts of "New Twitter" without the seizure-inducing interface. You're not hampered by character limits, and you can post pictures, text, videos, audio, etc. It follows that Twitter model, in that you follow folks and they follow you. So, it's just another social networking popularity contest.
So, why did I create one? Well, that's easy: believe it or not, I actually created it for archiving purposes. I'm sure if any of you are aware, but Twitter imposes a limit on the number of older tweets that you can access. As it stands, you can only search your archives up to 3200 tweets. Sure, that may seem like a lot, but seeing as how I just passed 10,000 today, that means that I can no longer access the majority of my tweets. For most people, that's not an issue. They use Twitter as a forum for their stream-of-conscious thoughts. I, however, tend to really use it as a "micro blog". Sure, some of those tweets might be in-the-moment, but I'd really like to remember and review some of them at later dates.
In the past, I had used a website that turned my tweets into a PDF "tweetbook". Unfortunately, that service seems to be down indefinitely. So, in a somewhat desperate move, I created a Tumblr and linked it to my Twitter account. If nothing else, I figured this would serve as a crude, but effective, archive. I actually created this system around Tweet #7,000, at which point I teased that I would be unveiling a new site. Well, after about 2,000 tweets, I decided to check in on my little experiment. And it was a clusterfuck.
Tumblr isn't a live system when it comes to imported content, so all of that is queued. My Tumblr was set to update about once per hour, but all that did was distort the natural chronology of things. Posts were out of sequence, often making no sense. So, I spent a weekend going through and trimming the fat. I disconnected Twitter, as I really didn't need to see all of my @replies scattered any which way. With all of that behind me, I've decided to try to use Tumblr for its true purpose. What that means is that I need followers. If you've got a Tumblr, let me know and I'll follow you. While the #followback mentality on Twitter can lead to ignorant/worthless conversations, Tumblr seems to be 75% porn, so I really don't see how I could go wrong. You'll probably see content on there that I've already tweeted, but that's to be expected. After all, my tagline is "The Place To Be To See All The Great Stuff You've Already Seen Before!" Yeah, it's basically gonna be a "Best of Will's Tweets" site, but it's also going to be where I post photos from now, if only to not have to deal with Plixi servers anymore. I'm sure, over time, I'll figure out what to do with that site. But for now, as Kanye would say, "It's a process."
5 Possible Responses To Tracy Chapman’s “Give Me One Reason”
1. "Well, I Just Got Cable"
2. "Bitch, I SAID Get Back Here!"
3. "(...Um...) I Love You?"
4. "Health Insurance"
5. "Isn't This YOUR Place?"
Backstreet Boys – Reading Between The Lines
On a recent roadtrip, Lindsay and I decided it would be fun to have a bit of a singalong. Since she had actually seen them in concert back in the day (I'm STILL jealous), I didn't have any qualms putting Backstreet Boys: The Hits - Chapter One in the CD player. For the uninitiated, or for those with "musical taste", Chapter One was essentially the Backstreet Boys' first "greatest hits" album - I say "first", because there's bound to be another, even though they haven't really had a "hit" since the albums covered by this disc. In any case, the odd thing about the collection is that the songs aren't listed in any meaningful order - or are they? Usually, a common approach to these collections is to list the songs chronologically, so that you can hear the evolution of the artist's sound. Here, however, they just jump around between the self-titled debut, Millennium, and Black & Blue. After a while, however, I began to see a narrative taking shape. After a closer listen, I decided to get down to what the collection was really trying to say.
1) I Want It That Way: It's clear why this was the lead track, as this was hands-down their biggest hit. The song, however, makes no sense whatsoever. Sure, you can try to say that you know what it means, but even by pop standards, it makes no sense. This is further exacerbated by the fact that there's a European cut that flips the script on the entire song - instead of "tell me why I never wanna hear you say", it's "tell me why I love it when I hear you say". That version even changes up the lyrics. And no, it's not a remix, as they're both marketed as "I Want It That Way". Talk about a cultural divide! So, bottom line is it's a catchy tune, that heralded the release of their second album, Millennium, which broke the record for most units moved in one day (which was later surpassed by 'NSYNC). Fine choice for #1 on the album.
2) Everybody (Backstreet's Back) [Extended Version]: Again, this placement is a no-brainer. While "I Want It That Way" was their biggest single, "Everybody" is the song that put them on the map. A lot of people don't realize that this track wasn't initially on their debut album. If you were one of the early birds to get the album, the track doesn't exist. The song came out in the spring of '97, as it was the lead single on their second European album, Backstreet's Back. When the single took off, it was added to the later pressings of the US version. Anyway, as a career-making single, it's fine at #2 on the disc.
3) As Long As You Love Me: This is where it gets interesting. By no means is this their next most successful single. Sure, it was popular, along with it's face morph music video, but it wasn't as big as some of the songs that would come on the next album. That's where I start to notice a narrative. You can either decide they're singing to their fans OR to a particular girl. Either way, the result's the same. This is where the begging starts. Desparate to begin this courtship, BSB start pleading their case. They don't care about past transgressions. She could've been a whore, a dancer, or a Mormon - it's all forgiven as long as she loves them. This begging continues for the next four tracks:
4) Show Me The Meaning of Being Lonely: Things don't seem to be going so well for BSB. They're feeling a little down in the dumps, but they're not giving up yet. And they're seeing dead people everywhere!
5) Quit Playing Games (With My Heart): Pulling themselves up by the bootstraps, BSB have decided that they've had enough, and they deserve better than what they've been getting. Girl, you'd better figure out if we're gonna do this or not! I'm a MAN!
6) All I Have To Give: Uh-oh, they're begging again. She must've caught them digging through her trash. They're so distraught here that their grammar's all over the place! "Does his gifts come from the heart?" And y'all wonder why she won't return your calls! She was an English major!
7) Larger Than Life: A happier, bombastic tune. Not only do things seem better in the relationship, but it's a thank you song. BSB realize they couldn't have gotten here without her/us. Sure, it's a thank you note to the fans, but it also works in a more intimate context. The video, however, had NOTHING to do with this, preferring 90s production values and creating a dance party on a space station. Sentiment's still there...somewhere.
8 ) I'll Never Break Your Heart: Now that everything's going well, this is the "rose petals leading to the bedroom" song. BSB decided to turn down the lights for something a little romantic. A declarative song, they promise they'll never do any wrong. It's us, together forever baby!
9) The Call: AAANNNNNNDDD they fuck it all up. Apparently, the relationship was going too well, and they got bored. So, they decided to sing an entire song elaborating how they were now cheating. It would've seemed edgy had Usher not cornered the "boastful cad" market prior to the song's release. Nothing indicates the peak of a career more than the moment the artist turns on his fans. Up to this point, BSB had declared their love for each and every young girl in the world. They'd begged and pleaded. Now, they're telling all these girls how they're cheating on them with their cuter, skinnier friend. You know, the one who goes down all the time. But don't worry - they'll be home when they're done. BSB never quite bounced back from that boastful ditty.
10) Shape of My Heart: So, it seems she's given the guys a second chance. After all, it was just that one time, and his phone really was dropping out - the battery was low! So now they're back to begging. They're apologizing without going into detail about what it is they did. It's like a Hollywood press conference: "Looking back on the things I've done, I was trying to be someone. I played my part - kept you in the dark. Now, let me show you the shape of my heart." Can't you just see someone reading that, as Gloria Allred stands next to them?
11) The One: Now that the scandal has settled down, they're back to making promises. Basically, they're reiterating everything said in "I'll Never Break Your Heart", but to a peppier beat. If they were married, this is the part where they'd start talking about having another baby, 'cause that'll solve alllllll their problems...
12) More Than That: A reiteration of promises. This is the kind of sentiment that follows her catching them looking at the babysitter the wrong way:
"Do you think she's prettier than me?!! I see how you look at her!"
"No, baby! Who wants to be around pert breasts and a youthful outlook? Surely, you jest!"
13) Drowning: So, how does this tale end? Well, we don't know. Instead of resolving the narrative, the album ends with "Drowning". The trick to this song is that it's really just BSB saying "Who do those O-Town kids think they are? Let's show 'em how it's done". From a music theory perspective, Drowning is really just another interpretation of O-Town's "All Or Nothing", complete with the same piano intro. They're really earnest about it, so as to keep us from realizing it's the same song, but I know better!
So, I guess if you want to know whatever happened to this storied relationship, you'd have to buy their more recent albums. Yeah, I knew you didn't care that much. You really should buy 'em, just to help Nick Carter buy a new trailer.
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