23rd Apr2004

Tiny Vessels

by Will

Song of the Moment: “Tiny Vessels”, by Death Cab for Cutie

22nd Apr2004

Boobygate’s Effect On Dating Shows

by Will

James is going to hate me for taking this stance, but I’m STILL pissed at Janet Jackson! Yes, there are other parties to be angry at, such as JT and CBS and blah blah blah, but she’s the one who took the heat from the Super Bowl, so she’s the target of my ire. Why am I STILL mad? Because of the effect her little stunt has had on my favorite pastime: Late-nite dating shows.

Since these shows have started new midseason episodes, they SUCK. OK, on Blind Date, which has never been the most conservative of the bunch, they now censor anything involving a tongue. Girl licks a guys chest: censored. Sucks a straw: censored. But the BIGGEST nail in the coffin? AVERAGE PEOPLE.

Blind Date has always been like Fear Factor; they’ve had a knack for finding gorgeous people to perform perfectly mundane, and in some cases extreme, situations. The BD formula was simply: See hot guy. Hot guy goes out with hot girl. Two possibilities: A) they hit it off, end up in hot tub and spend the night together, or B) they hate each other, and proceed to insult each other until the end of the date.

Now, that’s all been thrown to the wind! They’re using average looking, everyday people. The kind of people who are obviously REAL, just like you and me. Now, I don’t know about you, but there are very few people I know whose dates I’d like a peek at. Nothing against my friends, but I simply don’t think anything exciting and “LA” is going on during their dates. The appeal of the dating shows was that you were never sure if the people were “real” or if they were actors trying to have a springboard into a career. This theory was also supported by the fact that several of the daters “did the rounds”, meaning they’ve been on every show from “Extreme Dating”, “Blind Date”, and “Change of Heart” to “5th Wheel” and “elimiDATE”.

Since the Super Bowl, not only is the FCC afraid of breasts, but apparently, hot, fake, shallow people are off the menu as well! It’s only a matter of time before they come after the WWE, and that’s when they I’m gonna take a stand!

22nd Apr2004

Where In The World Is Justin Timberlake?

by Will

I’m going to shoot myself for asking this, but Where’s Justin Timberlake? I mean, a few months ago, you couldn’t get even get in an elevator, without being accosted by some form of Rock Your Body or that infernal “I’m Lovin’ It” jingle. Now, it seems like he’s fallen off the earth. I hear he’s filming some movie as a reporter, but I miss my JT fix! There’s only so much Uncle Jesse/Mystique drama I can take, especially since I predicted the end of that marriage YEARS ago. “Have mercy”, indeed.

20th Jan2004

Why Should I Cry For You?

by Will

Under the dog-star sail
Over the reefs of moonshine
Under the skies of fall
North-north-west, the stones of Faroe

Under the Arctic fire
Over the seas of silence
Hauling on frozen ropes
For all my days remaining

Would north be true?

All colours bleed to red
Asleep on the ocean’s bed
Drifting in empty seas
For all my days remaining

Would north be true?

Why should I, why should I cry for you?

Dark angels follow me
Over a godless sea
Mountains of endless falling
For all my days remaining

What would be true?

Sometimes I see your face,
The stars seem to lose their place
Why must I think of you?

Why must I? Why should I?

Why should I cry for you?
Why would you want me to?
And what would it mean to say,
‘I loved you in my fashion?’

What would be true?

Why should I, why should I cry for you?

Why should I cry?

Why Should I Cry For You?

Sting & Police

20th Jan2004

(Last Night) I Didn’t Get To Sleep At All…

by Will

“I know it’s not my fault, I did my best
God knows this heart of mine could use a rest
But more and more I find the dreams I left behind
Are somehow too real to replace”

(Last Night) I Didn’t Get To Sleep At All

( The 5th Dimension )

13th Jan2004

The Year of the Redneck

by Will

Well, it looks like Britney’s started a trend. Accordingly, I hereby proclaim 2004 as “The Year of the Redneck”. It seems that a redneck guy can sleep with any girl he wants as long as she’s drunk and gullible enough. Here’s to the year where redneck guys get more ‘Tang than NASA.

28th Sep2003

Glitter

by Will

“The glitter cannot overpower the artist…I want to see more of her breasts!”

26th Sep2003

Did He Die From His Addiction To Love?

by Will

Wow, Death’s working overtime in September. Today we mourn the loss of Mr. Robert Palmer. If that name is unfamiliar to you, just think back to when you were little, perhaps catching primitive MTV or listening to the radio. Mr. Palmer was a Simply Irresistible guy who was Addicted to Love. To a child of the 80s, this is quite a blow. I know I’ll miss him.

21st Sep2003

I’m Burning Up The Charts

by Will

Woot! My song has been downloaded 6 times by now. You’ve heard of gold and silver. My single’s gonna go copper!

11th Sep2003

RIAA Crackdown Trackdown

by Will

According to msn.com, the following songs are among those the RIAA is using to track down file-sharers.

• Bobby McFerrin, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy”

• Thompson Twins, “Hold Me Now”

• Eagles, “Hotel California”

• George Michael, “Kissing A Fool”

• Paula Abdul, “Knocked Out”

• Green Day, “Minority”

• UB40, “Red Red Wine”

• Ludacris “Area Codes”

• Marvin Gaye, “Sexual Healing”

• Avril Lavigne, “Complicated”

If you’ve recently downloaded any of these songs, your ass is grass. Looking at the list, though (with the exception of the great Marvin Gaye), I feel that you deserve everything that’s coming to you.