In movie news, we got a trailer for CHiPs, starring Dax Shepard and Michael Peña. That’s right, the California Highway Patrol are gonna get their own film. And I couldn’t give two shits. I’ve probably seen 3 episodes of that show in my lifetime, so there’s no nostalgia factor for me there. I’m going into this the same way I went into Starsky & Hutch – another show I’ve never seen. I thought the trailer, however, was kinda funny. I’ve heard a lot of folks ragging on it, as they see it as the “21 Jump Street Model” being applied to the CHiPs franchise. I feel like, without it being a comedy, there’s not really much you can do with that concept. It’s cops on motorcycles. How do you add drama to that? One of them gets a flat tire? I like the fact that it’s a comedy, though the trailer is far from the funniest thing I’ve seen. There’s no way I’m setting foot in a theater to see it, but I’m totally gonna watch it, either via Redbox or “Other”. I mean, Peña is a national treasure. He’s great in everything he does, and I feel like the only reason he doesn’t get more accolades is due to his alleged ties to Scientology. Anyway, a CHiPs movie is coming. Tell your grandpa!
During the Television Critics Association winter press tour, The CW surprised everyone by announcing the early renewal of 7 shows, including Arrow, Legends of Tomorrow, Supergirl, The Flash, Supernatural, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, and Jane the Virgin. This is a major win for Ex-Girlfriend, seeing as how it’s the lowest rated show on broadcast television. This will also be whopping season 13 for Supernatural, which I can’t even believe. I joked on Twitter that star Jensen Ackles must’ve made some kind of Faustian deal around season 5 that he can’t figure out how to get out of. Like, those dudes are completely typecast at this point, where they have nothing to look forward to other than a life on the convention circuit. But it’s good work if you can get it!
Anyway, the most surprising news was that The CW was resurrecting Constantine, starring Matt Ryan…as an animated series. Yes, Constantine will join Vixen as a CW Seed original webseries. Ugh. I’ve expressed my disdain for webseries in the past, but it’s not like I was gonna watch it anyway. I only liked Constantine in his cameo on Arrow, but never watched his series. And the Vixen CW Seed show was so forgettable that I can’t even remember if I finished both seasons. But who knows? Maybe this will be good? I’ll wait til someone I trust recommends it.
Surprising no one, it’s being reported that Girl Meets Worldis being shopped around to other platforms. In recent interviews, it was revealed that Disney Channel wouldn’t let the show explore some themes that the writers wanted, but I still think it got pretty heavy for Disney fare. Anyway, I wouldn’t be surprised if it ended up at Freeform or Netflix. It seems like everyone would be on board, and maybe it could last as long as its predecessor.
In the world of comics, it was announced that Brian Michael Bendis would be writing a Defenders comic, to be released around the time of the Netflix series of the same name. The series will feature Daredevil, Jessica Jones, Luke Cage, and Iron Fist. I feel this is bad news for writer David Walker, however, who happens to be writing the current Power Man and Iron Fist comic. Sure, there are multiple Spider books and multiple Iron Man books, but I just don’t see those guys carrying multiple books, especially considering the low sales on PM & IF. I don’t know if I’m looking forward to this or not. On the one hand, I love Jessica Jones and, besides Miles Morales, think she’s the greatest Bendis contribution to comics. I also love how he writes Luke Cage. He got his chops writing Daredevil, so he should be good there, too. At the same time, he’s not the writer he used to be, so I’m not sure if he’s got “It” right now. Still, I’m a dumb fanboy, so I’ll be checking it out when it hits stands.
Things You Might Have Missed This Week
The cast of Downton Abbey has been told to clear their schedules for a possible film. I still need to get past season 4, so I don’t even know what a movie would be about at this point.
Love Connection is returning to the airwaves, courtesy of Fox. Chuck Woolery, however, will be replaced by Bravo’s Andy Cohen.
Speaking of Fox, primetime soap Empire was renewed for season 4. I finally gave up on it this year, so good luck with that!
Breaking Baddie Gus Fring is rumored to be showing up on Better Call Saul next season.
American Horror Story has been renewed by FX for seasons 8 and 9. I’ve never seen any of them, but I know some of y’all liked the early seasons at least.
David Goyer and Justin Rhodes have been hired to write a Green Lantern Corps film, which will star Hal Jordan and John Stewart
This adorable 4-year old, Daliyah Marie Arana, has already read over 1,000 books and visited the Library of Congress as Librarian for the Day
Sky TV in the UK was going to air a special about Michael Jackson, but the episode has been cancelled after fan backlash when a photo of White actor Joseph Fiennes as Jackson was released
The 74th Annual Golden Globe Awards were held last Sunday, celebrating the best in television and film. Surprising everyone, freshman show (and former West Week Ever recipient) Atlanta won the Golden Globe for Best Musical or Comedy in Television. To top things off, though, its creator and star, Donald Glover, won Best Actor in a Comedy. It was well deserved, as the show was nearly perfect, and Glover was behind all of it. Well, Glover’s week got even better a few days later, as he inked an exclusive development deal with FX Productions. The only bad news was that FX announced season 2 of Atlanta will be delayed until 2018 because Glover’s so damn busy. After all, he’s got to film his Lando Calrissian scenes for the upcoming Han Solo film. So, I think it’s safe to say this was Donald Glover’s week, which is why he had the West Week Ever.
Programming Note: I’m skipping next Friday because it’s the inauguration, and I’m sure this post will be the last thing on your minds. BUT tune in next Wednesday for West YEAR Ever!
Happy New Year! Welcome to 2017, where we’re gonna lose even more celebrities than we did last year! That’s right, kiss Betty White goodbye!
On the movie front, since we last got together, I saw Rogue One: A Star Wars Story. Yeah, it didn’t do much for me. Now, let me back up a bit. I did miss the first 20 minutes because I had double-booked the night. So, I did miss the setup, but my friend caught me up so I’d know who everyone was. There was Hector “Space” Gonzalez, and Trixie Bang Bang, and Gay Karate Man, and He Who Shoots From Canister Vacuum. And they were fighting the evil Sir Capes A Lot, who was building the Death Star. I got all that. Still, something about it just left me empty. I feel like it’s a giant Easter egg of a movie for those hardcore Star Wars fans, but I’m not sure what it offers the casual fan. ***SPOILER ALERT***I mean, it’s just one big suicide mission. It’s impressive how they’ve worked it into the existing tapestry of A New Hope, but it’s not a story that had to be told, especially since no one made it off that beach. Just kinda bummed me out***END SPOILER***. Anyway, every Star Wars fan I know loved it, so I’m happy for them.
I finally watched the Justice League Action special I mentioned in the last post. It was OK. I mean, I loved that a lot of familiar voices were back, like Kevin Conroy and Khary Randolph, but I’m not sure I’m sold on the animation. First thing to remember is that it’s not the Justice League/Justice League Unlimited that we got over 10 years ago. It’s aimed at a younger audience, and the episodes are best described as “bite sized”. In the special, the Trinity team up with Captain Marvel, Swamp Thing, Green Arrow, Plastic Man and John Constantine to fight evil D’Jinn brothers. It was OK. Like, it wasn’t riveting, but it felt like the kind of thing that would be released directly to DVD. Not sure I’m gonna be DVRing it every Saturday morning. What did y’all think?
Since I’ve been a booster of it since the development stage, it’s with heavy heart that I can confirm that Girl Meets World has been canceled by Disney Channel. I was a huge fan of Boy Meets World, as I feel like I basically grew up with Corey, Shawn, and Topanga. Their stories weren’t as zany as the TNBC fare, but they weren’t always heavy, either. Sure, every now and then you’d get an episode about how Shawn’s poor white trash, but those episodes were few and far between. So, that’s kinda what I expected from Girl Meets World. And I’ve gotta say I was disappointed because that show got heavy as FUCK sometimes! Is there a God? Why did Maya’s dad leave? Is Farkle autistic? It’s like every episode just HAD to teach a lesson. Oh, and they reminded us Maya was poor white trash every possible chance they could get.
I loved the legacy aspect of it, but it just didn’t hit on all cylinders like I felt Fuller House did (which, by the way, was just renewed for a 3rd season on Netflix). Sure, Full House was treacly dreck, but then again, so was a lot of Boy Meets World. They were both ensconced in the world of TGIF at one time or another, and had similar ingredients. I just feel like Fuller House came back with nothing to prove, while Girl Meets World seemed like it was fulfilling some mandate from Disney that it had to be educational. It is surprising, however, that it’s not getting a fourth season, as Disney tends to love their 100-episode runs – the point at which the shows become no longer profitable to produce. Sure, Even Stevens and Lizzie McGuire only ran two seasons, but later hits like That’s So Raven and Hannah Montana got four seasons.
To be honest, part of me feels like the cancellation stems from star Rowan Blanchard’s tweets last year, where she came out as identifying as queer. Now, Disney is a pretty progressive company, but I’m not sure they knew how to spin that, and the renewal question has been up in the air since then. Still, a lot of folks are discussing the fact that Raven-Symone is a lesbian, yet she has her That’s So Raven reboot coming to Disney Channel, so maybe I’m wrong. Some fans are hoping the show will be picked up by Freeform (formerly ABC Family), where it could tackle more mature themes, but I think it’s done for now. The final 3 episodes air this month.
In TV news, there were a few bait and switch situations this week. First up, it was reported that Will & Grace was definitely coming back for a limited 10-episode run following the success of that voting video they did a few months back. Recurring guest star Leslie Jordan started blabbing that it was a done deal until Debra Messing finally came out and said that nothing had moved past the talking stage at this point. On the one hand, I loved Will & Grace during a tumultuous time in my life, but I’m kinda done with it. I want a Will & Grace reunion about as much as I wanna see a Mad About You reunion (God, that was a horrible finale!). Still, Hollywood’s out of ideas, so I’d say it’s still happening.
Next up, reports came out of The International Consumer Electronics Show that Conan would be moving to a weekly schedule, a la Full Frontal with Samantha Bee and Last Week Tonight with John Oliver. It’s been rumored that the show had been having trouble booking high profile guests, and the best ratings came from when Conan would travel and tape on location. By the end of yesterday, however, TBS reported that there were no plans for a format change “at this time”. So, just like with Will & Grace, it’s happening. They’re just upset they couldn’t get in front of it fast enough.
Speaking of cable shows, Archer is finally moving to FXX this season. The original plan was for FXX to be Fox’s cable comedy network, while FX would handle the dramas. However, when FXX launched, it just became the home of The Simpsons until It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia got shuffled over there. The fact that they didn’t move Louie and Archer, however, made it seem like a vote of no confidence for the spinoff network. Archer’s is little long in the tooth these days, and it’s no longer the crown jewel it once was, but I wonder if it’s got the juice to get more eyeballs on FXX. I hope it works because I love Man Seeking Woman and You’re The Worst over there, and they could both use more viewers.
In comic news, DC Entertainment President Geoff Johns confirmed that there would soon be an announcement regarding a new DCTV television show. Now, it’s not clear if this is another Berlantiverse series, a la Arrow/The Flash, or an unconnected show like Gotham. I’m curious if it’s just a confirmation of the Black Lightning show that had already been ordered to pilot by Fox, or if it’s something completely different. Also, it’s being reported that Johns will write some Watchmen comics this summer. This is a terrible idea since so many fanboys treat Watchmen like it’s their Bible, so there’s no way this will be well-received. They tried the Before Watchmen series, which didn’t really catch fire. They just had to go and reintroduce the concept in DC Universe Rebirth #1, so now I guess they’ve gotta do something with it. I’ve never felt Watchmen was “untouchable”, but I have no desire to revisit that world, so this project simply isn’t for me.
In wrestling news, it’s being reported that Diamond Dallas Page and “Ravishing” Rick Rude will be inducted into the 2017 class of the WWE Hall of Fame during Wrestemania weekend. The latter one really means a lot to me. I think Rick Rude was my first favorite wrestler because he was my introduction to the concept of a “ladies man”. The way he would pick a random woman out of the audience, and bring her into the ring. He’d kiss her, she’d pass out, and then he’d gyrate over her. That was a true pimp move right there! Like most wrestlers, he died before his time, so I guess he’s gyrating over angels now.
Things You Might Have Missed This Week
Supergirl star Melissa Benoist divorced her husband of 21 months, Blake Jenner
Woody Harrelson is in talks to portray Han Solo’s mentor in an upcoming Star Wars film
Former UFC champion Ronda Rousey lost to Amanda Nunes in 48 seconds, after training for over a year for her comeback.
A Charmed reboot is in the works at The CW. It’s reported to be set in the 70s, but will have some kind of connection to the original series.
Mariah Carey “lost the plot”, as out British friends might say, when her pre-recorded track messed up on New Year’s Rockin’ Eve. She claims they intentionally sabotaged her for ratings, while Dick Clark Productions reports that she didn’t even come to soundcheck.
80’s pop star Richard Marx and wife, former VJ Daisy Fuentes, subdued a crazed passenger on a Korean airline. In other news, how the Hell did Richard Marx land Daisy Fuentes?!
It was revealed that Drew Barrymore’s upcoming Netflix sitcom Santa Clarita Diet is actually a zombie show. Meh. I’ve been over zombies since 2006.
In Arizona, folks reported seeing a winged demon, heralding the beginning of the apocalypse. Yup, 2017 is gonna be swell!
When I first heard about The Mick, starring It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia‘s Kaitlin Olsen, a lot of thoughts went through my head: Is Sunny over? Is Fox gonna bury it? Will it even be funny? Luckily, I got my answers pretty quickly. No, Sunny is still going, as they scheduled The Mick around its shooting schedule. Fox didn’t bury it, but instead gave it some prime real estate after one of the last regular season football games of the season. And was it funny? Yeah, it’s funny.
If you haven’t heard of it, Olson stars as MacKenzie “Mickey” Murphy who’s going nowhere in life. She’s got no money, no prospects, and a deadbeat boyfriend. She decides to pay a visit to her wealthy sister to hit her up for a loan when the FBI raids the party, carting her sister off to jail for fraud. Once released, Mickey’s sister and brother in law flee the country, leaving their 3 kids in Mickey’s care. There’s the college bound bitch daughter, there’s the privileged snob teen son, and then there’s the precocious little boy who doesn’t really know what’s going on. Of course Mickey butts heads with the older two, while befriending the maid, Alba. The pilot plays out somewhat predictably, as most of it had been shown in TV spots leading up to the show. It’s the second episode where things really kick into gear. A loan shark comes after Micky, while she and Alba are getting high at a rave. Meanwhile, the kids’ bitchy grandmother has come to take over the house, and grandma doesn’t play!
I thoroughly enjoyed both episodes that aired this week. As I said before, it debuted on Sunday, which I feel is a better night for it. Instead, however, its regular timeslot is Tuesdays at 8:30, following New Girl. It being a Fox show, however, it probably doesn’t have a prayer. After all, I thought Grandfathered would be a sure thing, and now Stamos is back on Fuller House duty. No, I doubt we get a second season of this thing, but I’ll enjoy it while it’s here. That’s why The Mick had the West Week Ever.
So, a few days ago, The Beat wrote the article “Why Are The Comics Retailers Worried About Mass Store Closings?“, which was your standard fear mongering about how the Direct Market is on its last legs. If you’re not familiar with the comic industry, here’s a crash course: the Direct Market is comprised of the comic shops who specialize in selling comics and related merch. If you buy the latest issue of Batman from Barnes & Noble, you’re not participating in the Direct Market. However, if you buy it from Jack’s Comics & Stuff, you’re a Direct Market consumer. Comics in the Direct Market are sold on a non-returnable basis, meaning that if retailers order too much of a book, they’re stuck with that stock, and can’t send unsolds back to the distributor unlike other periodicals.
The article posits a few different reasons retailers are afraid:
DC’s Prices Are Too Low – Um, $2.99 isn’t too low when most of those books are shipped biweekly. Simple math dictates that retailers will make more from selling two $2.99 books than one $3.99, even if it’s marginal. Sure, the retailer may want to make more money, but it’s a nice gesture of goodwill to the consumer – something Marvel could learn from, considering they keep releasing quarterly $9.99 Deadpool issues on top of the several spinoff series they have for the character that month.
Customers Are Disappearing – Well, duh. Minecraft and video games. Oh, and for the lucky older consumers, sex. Gotta pay for that sex!
Customers Are Switching To Collected Trade Paperback Format – Well, you get more bang for your buck that way. For example, each comic from Image has a cover price of $3.99, however each first volume of an Image series’ trade paperback collects approximately 6 issues for $9.99. Can you blame them?
Customers Don’t Like Marvel’s Output – When have customers liked Marvel’s output? No, when was the last time someone was like “Marvel’s really firing on all cylinders”? The first Civil War crossover? That was ten years ago. It’s not that Marvel’s necessarily worse these days. It’s that people are used to Marvel being better than DC, and now the gap between their quality is a lot smaller, due to Marvel trying to make lightning strike twice and DC getting a slight bump from Rebirth.
Rising Costs of Doing Business – Well, you can’t really fight that. Everything is more expensive.
Diamond Credit Crackdown – This is on the retailer. They knew they owed Diamond money, and kept letting it build up, not thinking Diamond was ever gonna come collect. It’s a business, not a charity.
A lot of comic shops are having a tough go of it, but the blame is being passed on to everyone from the distributor, Diamond Comic Distributors, to the Big 2 publishers, Marvel and DC. It’s always the same crap: “Diamond’s model is antiquated and comics should be returnable” or “Everything Marvel’s publishing is crap right now.” To read the comments on the post, however, you see a lot of folks railing against Marvel’s supposed “Social Justice Warrior” agenda, where they’re “forcing” diversity into all of their books. Really, if you wanna make a bunch of middle aged White men mad, start trying to diversify their funny books. Anyway, in a fit of anger, I wrote the following comment:
This is going to be a controversial opinion, but I see no overwhelming reason to support small businesses, and I don’t think I’m alone. Why am I paying more for something I can get cheaper elsewhere, especially with complaints of poor customer service, poor stocking of items, etc so pervasive these days? Now, call me an “ungrateful millennial” or whatever, but I don’t have fond memories of walking down by the crick, with a rolled up comic in my back pocket that I got from the local five and dime. It’s not an experience that I relate to. Same with comic shops. I have several I love, but the world would keep spinning if they shut down tomorrow.
The mentality that wants me to support Mom and Pop is the same one that wants Marvel to never change, and keep offering the same product it did 50 years ago. This is a common argument in the geek TV world. There are tons of adult fans angry at Power Rangers because it “sucks” compared to when they were kids, or hate Cartoon Network for showing nothing but Teen Titans Go – never stopping to realize they’re not the target audience. Thirty year olds wonder why today’s kids can’t love Snake-Eyes as much as they did, not realizing that maybe it’s time to give a new generation their OWN stories. There’s no shame in knowing when to walk away. I’ve seen folks say things like “I didn’t leave comics, comics left me.” Well, take that as a hint. Maybe the industry doesn’t want or need you anymore. Time to find new hobbies and pursuits!
What I said about small businesses is true. Just as I don’t really subscribe to the notion of “team spirit” (which is why I’m a terrible sports fan), I also never understood the push to support local mom and pop stores. I’m just fine with my big box retailers, with their affordable prices and decent customer service. These comic retailers chose to open their businesses, but now they approach them as if they’re victims. The distributor is out to get them because of the lengthy ordering window and lack of returnability. The publishers are out to get them because they keep publishing lackluster product. But it’s never “Ya know, I backed the wrong horse by buying into Marvel’s crossover hype.” It’s never “I made the wrong call”, but instead it’s phrased like “How dare Marvel make me order that tripe?!” That doesn’t even make sense. I think there’s a certain level of professionalism needed that’s not always there for small businesses. I don’t know what the CEO of Walmart thinks about the latest Hulk book, but you better believe Joe at Joe’s Comics & Stuff is gonna gripe to me about it. Not recommend it, or pivot to something better – GRIPE. That’s no way to run a business. Retailers are sitting there going “Man, Marvel sure is putting out a lot of shit”, but in the same breath asking, “Why won’t anyone buy books from me?” Maybe stop badmouthing your product and find a way to hype it! Even if it’s a turd, polish that turd and sell it because that’s your JOB.
There’s another unique thing about the comic industry that people never really think about: comics are the only industry where the consumer knows the distributor and is trained to hate them – trained, mind you, BY retailers! If a shipment gets messed up at Toys R Us, nobody blames Lash Tamaron, ’cause they don’t even know they exist. No, they blame TRU. In comics, however, retailers have this special ability to pass the blame on to Diamond when it’s their own decisions that got them in jeopardy. Didn’t order enough copies of a book, it’s easy to just say “Oh, Diamond shorted us”. Customer might mutter a “Fucking Diamond”, and both parties just kind of shake their heads together at the distributor’s ineptitude.
I might sound like a Diamond apologist, and in many ways I am. Full disclosure: about ten years ago (wow, has it been that long?), I was a purchasing brand manager in the print division of Diamond. That’s a big fancy way to say that I killed a lot of dreams. No, seriously, and I’m not proud of that. If Dave has had a lifelong dream of seeing his name on a comic sold in stores, I’m the guy who would have to work with him to make it happen. The problem, though, is that Dave has created some derivative superhero comic, and consumers have no reason to support his $3.99 black and white book when Marvel and DC have full-color superheroes covered. But I’d get him into the Previews catalog that all retailers use to place their orders, and I’d let the market decide. Then, for a variety of reasons that probably deserve their own post, I’d end up having a very difficult discussion with him about 6 months later. Why? Because a lot of creators aren’t business people. And a lot of comic shop owners aren’t, either. The successful ones have found ways to survive, but it’s the dinosaurs who were sitting pretty during the 90s bubble that don’t know what to do with themselves now.
Now, that’s not to say that Diamond isn’t without problems. It is antiquated. The men running that part of the industry have been doing so for the past 30 years, so there’s not a ton of new blood. There are problems at the warehouse. Back when the main warehouse was in Memphis, there was a UPS center across the street that paid more. The UPS center, however, required you to have at least a year’s experience in a warehouse environment. And guess where they’d get that experience: Diamond. So, the main warehouse is filled with a bunch of novices trying to pad a resume for a better position. No shame in the game, but it’s to Diamond’s detriment. And let’s not forget the publishing cycle: Diamond advertises books that will be available for sale two months from now, with no returnable cushion. So, a retailer does have to take a gamble when it comes to ordering the next month’s books, before they even have this month’s books in hand. But here’s the kicker: Diamond is so ensnared in the distribution process that it couldn’t extract itself if it tried.
Another quick history lesson: about 20 years ago, Marvel bought a distributor called Heroes World, which turned out to be a terrible idea, but I guess it seemed right at the time. In a mad dash for survival, Diamond signed everyone else to exclusive contracts for distribution. This drove a lot of smaller distributors out of business, lessening competition. Then, to make matters worse, Marvel declared bankruptcy and came crawling back to Diamond. This made Diamond king of the hill as the result of a flurry of activity needed for survival. In the years since, people have longed for a competitor to Diamond, but it just ain’t gonna happen. It’s the WWE of comic distribution, and there isn’t really even a TNA waiting in the wings. It’s an unintended monopoly, but a monopoly all the same. But as much as people clamor for the death of Evil Diamond, no one has stopped to consider what would happen if they went away. It’s not going to mean freedom for all the publishers. No, THAT will be the death of the Direct Market, because no one is equipped to take its place. And even if they somehow managed to do so, then they’d eventually become just as hated as Diamond. After all, “You either die a hero…”
The medium needs change, and those fighting that are part of the problem. My friend James once said that comics are for children, and that’s true. I’ve always felt that there’s a 20-year lifespan on comic fandom. If you stick around longer than that, everything becomes Been There, Done That. After 20 years, it’s time to move on. Start repairing old cars, or take your Harley for a three-day cruise. Comics are for the young, but the problem is that the young want nothing to do with them. Oddly enough, though, it’s a bunch of middle-aged armchair quarterbacks who think they know what today’s youth would like. “Spider-Man should be the same as he was when I was growing up!” they yell. Let’s see, kid whose parents are dead, lives with his old aunt in Queens, and he’s late all the time? Hate to break it to ya, but that’s a Black kid. They just didn’t have the social clout to do that back then. If they turned Peter Parker into a Black guy now, those fans would lose their shit. “Why can’t Marvel create NEW characters?” Marvel, then, creates Miles Morales, and then they cry, “Why are you forcing diversity down our throats?!” Is the mere existence of a minority the equivalent of “forcing diversity” on you? Well, I’m sorry the sight of me offends your eyes, Mr. White Man! I just think it’s time for certain fans to go. They don’t like what the industry is doing, and the industry is starting to realize that it can’t survive on mutton alone. There’s no shame in knowing when to walk away.
Anyway, this is all to say that the greatest threat to the comic retailer IS the comic retailer. Stop being a victim, and buckle down. You made this bed so now lie in it. But I also don’t believe in these crowdfunding attempts to keep shops open. The market has spoken, and you’re really just delaying the inevitable. Some shops need to go. That’s nothing personal. It’s business, and they simply lived out their usefulness. The more resourceful shops, however, will find a way. At the end of the day, Superman and Wolverine will outlive the Direct Market, so retailers can gripe all they want, but Disney and Warner Bros are gonna make that money with OR without them. Retailers need Marvel and DC, regardless of the quality of the output, but Marvel and DC don’t necessarily need retailers. The sooner Direct Market retailers realize this, the sooner they can start planning for the future.
And that’s where the post originally ended. And then I saw that I’d received a reply on my comment at the original post (I removed his name ’cause it’s not like I asked his permission to post this or anything):
@Will “I didn’t leave comics, comics left me.” Well, take that as a hint. Maybe the industry doesn’t want or need you anymore. Time to find new hobbies and pursuits!
No, that`s a terrible attitude to show contempt at long-time customers who helped build Marvel. These long time fans deserve better than that! Also be careful what you wish for as Marvel`s sales are in the tank, and they might be begging for those old time fans back one day!
I saw this and figured it was just another middle-aged White man, mad about change. His biggest mistake is that line about showing contempt for the customers “who helped build Marvel”. So, I had to address that:
See, that’s dangerous thinking, because Marvel doesn’t really owe you anything. You’re approaching this like a shareholder, when that’s not the nature of the arrangement.
As for the old-time fans, they’re gone. Plain and simple. Sure, catering to them might lead SOME of them back, but not enough to really make them the focus. The old time fan wants too much in order to come back. DC did Rebirth, basically as a “We’re sorry for what we did”, and a bunch of fans still wanted them to kiss the ring and do a little humiliating dance. The thing to remember is that these companies don’t *owe* you anything, long-time fan or not.
And then he had to go and prove my assessment of him correct:
@Will. The thing to remember is that these companies don’t *owe* you anything, long-time fan or not.
Maybe my friend,but let`s sticky this post because I predict in less than a year Marvel will do a 180 with all their SJW theme comics and will please their old-time fans by bringing back the old school style. Marvel is going to have to go back to basics to stop their ship from sinking. It`s all about money, and Marvel`s old time loyal fans have the deep pockets that the majority of cosplay SJW fans don`t seem to have.
Ugh, he had to go and use a term like SJW. You can tell a lot about a person when they’re worried about the perceived Social Justice Warriors. He’s just another stick in the mud, resistant to change. So, of course, I couldn’t let that go:
And you just had to go and torpedo your argument with “SJW” nonsense. The injection of diversity is an attempt to get the dollars they’re not already getting, from audiences they’ve previously ignored. That, my friend, is the future. Any industry propped up by the buying habits of middle aged White men is an industry in trouble (unless you make Cialis or Rogaine), and they’ve finally come to realize that. What’s gonna happen when you die? Are you still going to be rallying from the grave “Put White Spider-Man back in high school!” to an audience base that clear couldn’t give two shits? The Marvel you grew up with is fine, but it’s done. I just don’t get why fans can’t grow up in their expectations.
I won’t exactly call it a “mic drop”, but I really don’t know what’s left to say after that.
The biggest news of the week is probably the fact that Star Trek Discovery is finally getting somewhere, as they cast the lead role of the series. Sonequa Martin-Green, most recently of The Walking Dead, has been cast as Lt Commander Shaznay Jenkins. I totally made up that name, but she will be playing a lieutenant commander, as they felt there have been enough Trek properties that focused on captains. Surprisingly enough, she’s still keeping her job on The Walking Dead. Now, I wonder if that’s actually true, or if they just don’t want us thinking too hard about the fact that her character is probably gonna be zombie chow soon. In all honesty, though, it makes sense for her to keep that job, as the Trek gig is supposed to be a one-season story. If there even is a second season, it’s unlikely it would follow the same cast, as that was never the original intention (keep in mind, intentions may have changed now that Bryan Fuller is no longer attached to the show). Still, it’s basically January (which was the original launch month), and they’ve got to put this thing together by May, special effects and all? I totally wouldn’t be surprised if it gets postponed again. I mean, they already missed the 50th anniversary, so they might as well just say “Fuck it” and take their time. Anyway, I wonder how Black they’re gonna take her character. Like, will she be Girl Sisko, or will she be more subdued? I mean, Sisko was In-Tense unless he was playing baseball.
In WTF? news this week, Wonder Woman was removed as a United Nations Honorary Ambassador for the Empowerment of Women and Girls – just TWO MONTHS after receiving the honor in the first place. It seems that some folks were upset that a fictional character got the honor when there are real women out there fighting the good fight. Also, they felt that she wasn’t “culturally encompassing” (Too White) and “overtly sexualized” (Too Damn Hot). Apparently, the UN received a petition with more than 44,000 signatures asking for her removal, from inside and outside the organization. This is a tough one. On the one hand, she is a fictional character, so it probably is a slap in the face to some women out there. But on the other hand, this is what you wanna waste your petition power on? Plus, it should be pointed out that honorary ambassadors tend to be fictional characters, as goodwill ambassador is the role reserved for the living. Former honorary ambassadors include Tinkerbell (honorary ambassador of green) and Winnie the Pooh (honorary ambassador of friendship). The character was chosen due to her roots in feminism, but many felt that she didn’t embody the image that the UN should be putting forth to the world.
In other DC Comics news, there are reports that Margot Robbie is donning the Harley Quinn costume again for a Gotham City Sirens movie, directed by Suicide Squad‘s David Ayer. I actually really liked Robbie’s Harley, so I don’t mind this one bit. I was also a big fan of the Gotham City Sirens comic, which was a buddy team-up between Catwoman, Harley, and Poison Ivy. They weren’t quite villains, but weren’t heroes either. They were almost like a super Golden Girls, lending support to one another. Sadly, though, they’re saying that Megan Fox is lobbying for the role of Poison Ivy, and that’s not a good fit in my opinion. But this is a DC movie, where they’re not known for their smart decisions, so Fox will probably get the part.
I’ve written about how good Boom!’s Power Rangers comics are, and the Kimberly-centric Power Rangers: Pink is no exception. The comic focuses on Kimberly after she leaves the team to go train for the Pan Global Games, with Kat taking her place on the team. Well, when the French village where her parents live is attacked, and the residents are turned into fish monsters, she’s called back into action. The Power Rangers are off-world, so they can’t help her, but Zordon utilizes the Sword of Light from “The Power Transfer” to infuse Kimberly with his own power. As the threat gets more intense, she realizes she needs a team of her own, and she goes and seeks out fellow former Rangers Trini and Zack. They end up with these cool, redesigned almost black ops versions of their MMPR suits. As the story goes on, they recruit 2 French teens to round out the team. At the end of this week’s issue, however, they threw us all for a loop when it was revealed that Trini and Zack are now a couple. Now, I’ve never been a fan of “shipping”, but I guess I always assumed Trini and Billy had an unspoken love, since they were the two smart ones on the team. I can’t even remember Zack interacting with Trini on the show, but somehow this comic makes it seem plausible. I’m really enjoying how these books are playing with continuity, managing to make stories that still “matter” even if they aren’t part of the canon that we’ve come to know.
Things You Might Have Missed This Week
NBC announced that their Taken prequel series will premiere February 27th. I’d watch a Taken prequel film, with a digitally de-aged Liam Neeson, but I have no interest in a TV show. There are NO stakes, considering we know he lives to be featured in THREE movies!
Taran Killam will assume the role of King George III for Hamilton on Broadway. I think this is PERFECT casting! It’ll be like his Jebediah Atkinson character on comedic steroids.
Tarek and Christina El Moussa of HGTV’s Flip or Flop announced their separation, following a crazy incident last May where Tarek flipped out and ran into the woods with a gun. Christina is reportedly now dating one of their contractors. And they still expect the show to continue!
Patrick Wilson was cast as Ocean Master in the upcoming Aquaman film. I’d ask “Who?”, but I know who he is. I’m just not impressed.
While we still await the first broadcast cancellation of the Fall TV season, Netflix cancelled Marco Polo, and WGN America cancelled Salem. I don’t even know why WGN tried to get into original programming. Manhattan failed, Salem failed, and Underground‘s days are probably numbered, as I’ve never met anyone who’s watched it.
R.L. Stine will be writing Marvel’s Man-Thing. Aw shit, son! They gonna get Goosebumps on their Man-Thing?! Better get some cream for that!
It ain’t easy being Black in professional wrestling. It’s even harder to be THREE Black guys in professional wrestling. Yet, somehow, New Day has risen above it all, and this week they were heralded as the longest-reigning tag team champions in WWE history. The previous record was 478 days, set by Demolition members Ax and Smash, but that was also a different time. In a lot of ways, that’s what’s so conflicting for me. I mean, what does it really mean to hold a belt over a year in the rigged world of “sports entertainment”. Back when Demolition did it, we still kinda pretended the stuff was real, in an era of gimmicks and ring names. Now, the title is held by Kofi Kingston, Big E Langston and Xavier Woods – all names that would’ve been held by “jobbers” 30 years ago (for y’all not into wrestling, a jobber is the no-name guy who’d get into the ring with someone like Hulk Hogan in order to make Hogan look better. Now they’re referred to as “enhancement talent”. Sounds like the ability to make your penis grow at will or something, but I digress…). So, now that the curtain has been pulled back, and we know how the sausage is made, what does it truly mean for New Day to be the champions?
Some might say that this is a triumph for Blacks in wrestling and, in many ways, it is. I mean, Vinnie Mac doesn’t cotton to minorities too often, so the fact that he hasn’t stripped them of the title either means that there’s nobody in the locker room with the heat to do it, OR he actually believes in them. I’d like to think that he’s caught up with the times and that it’s the latter. Still, when the #BlackExcellence hashtag started circulating earlier this week in regards to New Day, it was proven that many fans aren’t as “progressive” as McMahon. The slurs and insults began to fly! But is anyone surprised? I mean, it’s still 2016, where everything is horrible.
I’ve seen New Day, and I can believe the hype. It’s really hard to hate those guys, as they just bring a certain energy to wrestling that wasn’t there before. I can’t explain the Booty O’s and the unicorn horns or any of that, as I’m a casual wrestling fan these days, but whatever they’re doing is working. I will say this, though: I find the whole “record” thing funny because how is it a streak if you’re not constantly defending your title? For example, I saw them at my first live wrestling experience a few months back, and they lost. But their title wasn’t on the line that night. How convenient. It doesn’t mean much if you can just pick and choose when the title is on the line. At least, that’s not how I would run MY wrestling promotion. I’d have hardcore rules on all the titles, so you could get a chair to the head while standing at a public urinal, and it would all be legal. But I can’t give away ALL of my million dollar ideas!
On top of breaking the streak, this week also saw the release of a beautiful 3-pack of WWE Elite figures of New Day from Mattel. Designed to look like a cereal box of Booty O’s, the whole package is amazing. The figure sculpts are great, and it’s a package so gorgeous that you won’t want to open it.
Yes, everything was coming up Milhouse for New Day this week, and that’s why they had the West Week Ever.
In Marvel news, we got a new teaser trailer for Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. Why are there so many teasers these days? We already got a short teaser that actually TEASED. Sure, this was only about 2 minutes long, but back in my day, that was the trailer! Anyway, enough old man ranting from me. It looks good. I love Baby Groot because he reminds me of my toddler. Other than that, I’ve got no real thoughts on it one way or another. I guess I’m looking forward to it? I mean, it’s not marked on my calendar like Logan, but I’ll get excited once it’s closer.
In movie news, it was announced that Amy Schumer was cast as Barbie in an upcoming live-action movie. Yup, that Barbie. And the universe laughed and laughed! Look, I’m probably being more cruel than I need to be, but there’s a reason for it: I discovered last week that she had blocked me on Twitter. Now, I can’t remember ever saying anything disparaging about her, and I say a lot of shit about a lot of people. I certainly don’t remember saying anything block-worthy. So, I’m a little butthurt about that, even though if I were a Black Twitter star, I’d put “Blocked by @amyschumer” in my Twitter bio like some sort of trifling badge of honor. I just don’t get this casting other than the fact that she’s blonde. It also doesn’t help that the movie is reportedly rated PG, so she can’t bring her typical brand of comedy to the mix. Wrong body type, wrong personality. Couldn’t they just put Amy Adams in a blonde wig? Isla Fisher? Is Heidi Klum too old? Katherine Heigl? This casting just seems uninspired. Schumer looks like Barbie after a lot of bad decisions – kinda like how Chelsea Handler looks like someone rode her hard and put her away wet. It’s more a case of Sony and Mattel trying to capitalize on her rising fame than actually trying to cast someone right for the role.
Also, the teaser trailer for The Rock’s Baywatch adaptation was released yesterday. As a lifelong Baywatch fan, I was already a lock for seeing it, but it seems like they’re using the 21 Jump Street formula, so now I’m definitely all-in. It’s basically “What if Ryan Lochte joined the Baywatch team?” I love everyone involved, from The Rock to Zac Efron to Alexandra Daddario. I can’t wait for Memorial Day weekend!
In the world of toys, unless you’ve been hiding under a rock, you know that the hot toys of the season are Hatchimals. Basically, it’s a real life Tamagotchi, as you buy an egg that eventually hatches into some electronic Furby-esque toy. They retail for about $70, but they’re being listed on the secondary market from $100-200. Earlier this week, I posted this article about author Sara Gruen who saw the popularity of the toy as an opportunity to raise money for a man serving a life sentence whom she feels has been wrongly accused of a crime. She won’t go into too much detail because there’s a documentary in the works about the whole thing, but she had contributed over $150,000 of her own money to his legal fees, and felt that reselling the popular toy might help put a dent in her debt (She fucking this dude? If I were her husband, I’d be asking a LOT of questions!). Anyway, she didn’t have any clue what she was doing, so she thought it was a good idea to pay 2X retail for 156 Hatchimals, putting her in about $20,000 of additional debt. She had the harebrained scheme to charge FOUR times retail to parents desperately searching for the toy in time for Christmas. OK, let’s look at where she went wrong.
To some, I might be considered a scalper. I, however, think of myself as more of a Collectibles Reallocation Specialist. I try to keep up with what’s hot and, if I come across any, I resell them at a premium. It sounds bad, but I did this to pay for my wedding and never really looked back. If you keep your finger on the pulse, and don’t risk too much money, you can do alright with it. The way I see it, you’re paying a premium for accelerated access. Most of the stuff I sell will become plentiful given time, but the desire to be the first person to post about it online/give your kid something to brag about at Show & Tell drives folks to pay crazy prices for things they could’ve waited on. I’m not a complete dick, though. Kids are my weak spot. You tell me it’s the only thing your kid wants for his birthday, and I cave. So, I’m pretty much just targeting adults because they’ve got the disposable income.
Anyway, I’ve monitored the Hatchimals thing, and considered picking one up if I ran across it. A friend of mine from college is looking for one for his daughter, and so far they’ve struck out. It feels really good to be that last minute Christmas Savior. Not Jesus, but something a few notches below Jesus, like Peter or Moses. Here’s how I would’ve played this whole thing. I would’ve bought 3 Hatchimals. One for my friend, one to definitely sell, and one to sit on. If the selling one went quickly, then the one I was sitting on would go in the chamber. And that’s it. It’s too close to Christmas to really move that many because your avenues are limited. If you were truly enterprising, I’d even say to buy a case. I’m not sure of the case quantity, but it’s probably about 6-8 in a case. With Craigslist, you could move that in time. Here’s where she messed up: she paid $140 for something that cost $70. There’s already no meat on that bone. Had she bought them at retail, she could’ve doubled her money. With what people have been willing to pay, that would’ve been a fine plan. But you NEVER pay more than retail in arbitrage! So, her plan was dead on arrival, mainly because too many people know the market. If the retail price of Hatchimals fluctuated, you’d have some wiggle room, but the MSRP is $69.99, and everyone knows it, so how do you expect someone to fork over a car payment of $280.00?
Remember how I said there were limited avenues? That’s because Amazon bans toy sellers during the holiday season unless they’re having their orders fulfilled by Amazon. Hell, I’ve been selling on Amazon for 4 years, and I still can’t sell during Christmas. So, that wasn’t gonna be an option for her. Then, she went to eBay, but they’re already onto the Hatchimal racket, so they’re now limiting people from listing more than one a week. At this rate, she can sell about 5 before Christmas (based on when she started), and the day after Christmas the other 151 are gonna be worthless because A) the big day is gone and/or B) stock will catch up with demand. She’s NEVER going to make her money back, so she needs to make peace with that now. If she doesn’t want to sit on these things, she needs to start charging MSRP and accept the fact that she’s going to lose half her investment. As we get closer to Christmas, she could even charge about $80-100, but she still has them listed on her site for the recently reduced price of $189. Plainly put, you’re not gonna make the kind of money she needs with TOYS, especially alone and without a distribution network. She would’ve been better off if she’d bought a house from a sheriff’s sale and flipped it. There have since been updates that she received death threats from people who feel like she’s responsible for ruining their kids’ Christmas, which is a bit extreme. Right now, rest in comfort with the fact that she’s in tremendous debt and a horrible businesswoman. She doesn’t need your death threats.
Things You Might Have Missed This Week
NBC aired Hairspray Live, or as I affectionately called it Kristin Chenoweth’s Titties Live. Anyway, nobody watched it compared to the other recent live play adaptations.
It was announced that Mariah Carey will host YouTube Red’s The Keys of Christmas special. Based on the poster, it should be called Mariah Carey’s Titties Wish You A Merry Christmas, featuring DJ Khaled and Some Dude
Reportedly Beyonce’s recording of “Daddy Lessons” with the Dixie Chicks was rejected by the Grammy Country Music Committee. They’ll rue this day when she summons the Phoenix Force to destroy their lives.
Candace Cameron Bure is leaving The View, as it has gotten too hectic filming in NYC, while filming Fuller House in LA.
Disney released a new teaser for the DuckTales reboot, announcing that it would debut on DisneyXD next summer.
The trailer for Spider-Man: Homecoming was released last night. It was OK. With the exception of Tony Stark, I didn’t see anything we haven’t seen before. I just hate how every time the franchise reboots, everyone’s like “They finally got it right!” Chill. They got it right in the past, too.
I have officially joined the Bourgeoisie! That’s right, kids – I’ve seen Hamilton. Before you get all excited for me, I didn’t actually go to Broadway and see the show. No, some intrepid soul decided to post a near perfect copy of the show on YouTube, which ended up being snatched down yesterday. Sure, it may lack the “theatre experience”, but if you’ve seen ticket prices AND know of the lack of availability for tickets to the show, then you realize this experience was just as good. In fact, based on the vantage point of the person who filmed it, it’s actually better than what you’d probably be able to afford. I mean, these were GOOD seats. I can imagine someone sneaking their phone in the show like Rerun when he was taping that Doobie Bros concert. Before I get into my thoughts on the show, however, let’s take a trip down memory lane for a minute, shall we?
Back when I was at Cornell, I was really obsessed with secret societies. There was one in particular that every Cornellian wanted to get into, and I made it a side project to get on their radar so I could be tapped. Well, senior year came, and the tap never did. I later found out that I’d been nominated for entry, but I guess I didn’t make the cut. Let me just say this: it was not an honor just to be nominated! Fast forward to some time later, when I was up there for an alumni function, and a friend of mine who had been tapped volunteered to give me a tour of their secret lair (apparently the society was OK with folks using their status to impress friends/troll for impressionable pussy). Tucked away in a Gothic tower, the meeting space he was allowed to show consisted of a stone room with a wooden table in the middle. No, nothing fancy like a Justice League table. This thing looked like it had been picked up off the side of the road. It looked like a Biblical jail or something. Needless to say, I was not impressed. Now, all of this isn’t to say that Hamilton disappointed me like that stone room did, but it is to point out that there’s power in mystery. Hamilton has the reputation that it does because people want to see it but can’t, which only makes them want to see it more. I can’t help but wonder if this YouTube leak was part of an alt-right revenge plot in conjunction with that whole Pence matter a few weeks back. They wanted folks to boycott the show, but seeing as how the vast majority of the population couldn’t get tickets anyway, I guess they decided the best revenge was to kill the mystique around the show, and disseminate it to the masses.
The mystique of not being able to see it certainly helps propel the Hamilton legend forward. I mean, as I was watching it, I spent the first 20 minutes vacillating between “I can’t believe I’m finally watching this!” and “Please, God – Don’t let YouTube snatch this down before I finish watching it!” I didn’t really get into the play until around the point of the song “You’ll Be Back”. I wonder if that’s the same way people feel in the actual audience these days, taken aback by the fact that they’re ACTUALLY seeing Hamilton.
First of all, let’s deal with the pros. It’s really good. I mean, really good. Way better than it has any right to be. On paper, it’s a lame idea from that teacher you used to have who tried to hard to look “cool” to his students. You know the one: “No, ‘Mr. Smith’ was my father. You guys can call me Mark. Anyway, today we’re going to discuss our founding fathers through the medium of rap!” Seriously, it sounds like a trainwreck waiting to happen. But Miranda pulls it off, amazingly so.
Next up is the music. It’s great and it gets in your head and won’t leave. Even before you know the words, you’ll still be humming the melodies. That’s, like, the main goal of any musical composition: for it to make a lasting mark, have an impact. Hamilton certainly succeeds here.
Finally, my favorite character is a foppish King George III played by Jonathan Groff. If you’ve heard the soundtrack, then you already know his songs are funny, but his portrayal is just so great. It has to be seen to get the full effect.
Now for the cons. A friend of mine online pointed out that he didn’t care if he never saw the show, as the whole thing is on the album, and he’s right. A lot of musicals are dialogue-dialogue-BREAK INTO SONG-dialogue, but this entire play is sung or rapped. There’s nothing that isn’t on the soundtrack. That’s good for those who’ll never see the show, but it seems like you’re almost losing out by attending the play, as it has nothing more to offer other than the “Experience!”
I hate to disappoint the lot of you, but this really isn’t a show that needs to be SEEN. It’s not a visually stunning show. I can’t decide if the choreography is understated or just lazy, but I was somewhat unimpressed. By this point, you already know what Lin-Manuel Miranda looks like, so if you just play the soundtrack, close your eyes, and picture him in Colonial Williamsburg, you’ve got the gist of the imagery. The only thing I actually enjoyed seeing was Groff’s King George dancing along in the background of songs.
At the end of the day, it’s an amazing feat of theatre, and I’m glad I saw it. I’m also glad I didn’t have to sell a kidney in order to do so. Considering that the rap approach to Hamilton has made theatre interesting to those who may not typically care for the medium, it’s shame that the show hasn’t been made more accessible. I mean, I understand the idea of wanting to remain the hot girl of the Great White Way, but there are a lot of folks who’d really appreciate it who aren’t going to get to see it. Last time I checked, the YouTube file had already been viewed over 300,000 times. That’s almost better than the ratings for Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (I kid, but they’re not much different!). Clearly there is an interested audience out there who simply can’t afford to see the show. Sure, they throw scraps to the proletariat, like the PBS special and TheHamilton Mixtape, but there is a clear class divide between those who can see the show and those who can’t. I think that’s part of the problem I’ve had with the Hamilton phenomenon: it takes the hip hop vehicle and uses it to entertain an audience outside the typical socioeconomic status that actually created hip hop. I don’t quite want to call it “cultural appropriation”, but it’s close. It’s a relatable story about life and legacy, and I think a lot of people would get something out of it. Anyway, if you ever get the chance to see the show, be it online or live, then definitely don’t miss out on the opportunity. Just don’t take out a second mortgage on your house or anything in order to do so. It just ain’t THAT deep.
Meanwhile, all the Hamiltonians were sitting by their iTunes last Thursday night, realizing they’d received volume 1 of The Hamilton Mixtape. Featuring covers and songs inspired by the show, fans are eating it up. I’ve only heard a few of the songs that leaked early, such as Kelly Clarkson’s version of “It’s Quiet Uptown”. I felt she took an emotional ballad and turned it into an overproduced mess that lacks nuance or dynamics. I can only hope the rest of the album is better than that example. Still, like I said, as with all thing Hamilton, fans are loving it. There was no better week to be a Hamilton fan, and that’s why they had the West Week Ever.
Since I basically took off the month of November I guess this has got to be good, huh? Recently, some online friends were discussing taking breaks from blogging, and one of them said that you don’t need to offer an explanation as to where you’ve been. After all, the world doesn’t revolve around your blog, so it’s kind of egotistical to think anyone cares where you’ve been. I get that, but I don’t really agree with it. When people come to expect something regularly, you do kind of owe them an explanation as to why you broke your “promise”, so to speak. Plainly put, something inside me is broken. Yeah, I’m basically stealing Selena Gomez’s speech from the American Music Awards, but that doesn’t make it any less true.
When I started West Week Ever, it was to celebrate the week that was in pop culture. But can you honestly cite anything that had a great week over the past month? And I’m not even really going to delve into the political landscape of things. I’ll save that for a podcast, where it’ll be harder for someone to cut and paste my words without context. No, nothing had the West Week Ever for the past few weeks. I try to go by the whole “The show must go on” mentality, but I just couldn’t do it. Contrary to popular belief, I don’t go into these posts to be negative, but sometimes that’s what comes out. I couldn’t be positive lately, though, and I saw no reason to put that off on you. I wanted Fantastic Beasts to fail. I want Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s cancellation to be announced. I guess I’m one of those men who wants to watch the world burn. But I’m back in the saddle, trying to fight the good fight. Sometimes you’ve just got to take a step back and look at things, so that’s where I’ve been. So, ready to talk about pop culture? Let’s go!
Seeing as how I usually enjoy the CW DC show crossovers, I’m sure some folks probably figured this year’s “Heroes vs Aliens” featuring the Dominators would get the West Week Ever this week. Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I really didn’t care much for this year’s crossover. To start, I always thought it was a bit of heavy lifting by spreading it across 4 shows. The Berlanti Dilution Effect is full force on this one. Oh, you’ve never heard of the Berlanti Dilution Effect? It’s probably because I just named it. Basically, whenever the Berlantiverse adds a new show, it dilutes the quality of the preexisting shows, as everyone just seems spread too thin. Folks loved Arrow until The Flash came along. All of a sudden, it was the new hit show, while Arrow’s quality dropped. Then, last season, Supergirl and Legends of Tomorrow were introduced, while fans felt Flash’s quality dropped, and Arrow was damn near unwatchable. Fans seem to love Supergirl, while Legends is just kinda off to the side, not bad, but not great. Well, since Supergirl is the new kid on the block, I felt like she could’ve sat on the bench for this year’s crossover. This year should’ve just been Flash/Arrow/Legends, as they at least occupy the same universe. Adding Supergirl was just overstuffing the thing, and her addition didn’t really add much to things.
I also had another issue with the crossover: I don’t think Team Arrow should be fighting aliens. They’re too street-level for that. Now, they’ve dipped their toe into the supernatural with Damien Darhk and Ragman, but I’ve also felt those were creative missteps for the series. They should only be concentrating on street level threats, as something extraterrestrial is out of their wheelhouse. Plus, it’s no secret that Arrow is basically TV Batman, as a lot of Batman’s rogues and tropes have been added to the show. I don’t think Green Arrow should be fighting aliens as much as I actually don’t like Batman as a member of the Justice League. Bear with me a minute here. Prior to the New 52, about 10 years ago, the Bat books were united in the fact that they approached Batman as urban legend. He has more power as a mysterious being, whispered about amongst thugs and criminals than he does as a guy fighting next to Superman in broad daylight. I’m fine if Batman lends his support from the Watchtower, but he shouldn’t be a public face of the Justice League, as he really shouldn’t “exist” as far as the Man on the Street is concerned. I feel the same about the Green Arrow. That hero loses his clout if he’s seen running around with Flash and Supergirl, fighting aliens. He needs to stick to what he does best.
Now, for the crossover itself. I skipped the Supergirl episode because I really have no desire to get into that show, and the pertinent parts of the crossover were repeated in the next night’s Flash episode. Flash was just a little too cutesy for me, as everyone got acquainted, learning each other’s names and power sets, but they didn’t seem to be taking the threat seriously. Sure, there was some Flash stuff going on that didn’t make a ton of sense to folks, like me, who are still basically on season one of the show. They did a pretty good job, though, explaining Flashpoint and how it had affected things. They even threw in some development for the Legends crew, following up on Professor Stein’s visions. Outside of that, though, most of that episode was fluff. I mean, aliens KILL the president, and even it’s kinda treated as an afterthought. Then we got to the Arrow episode which was one big dream sequence. Sadly, this was also the show’s 100th episode, so I felt bad that it was “squandered” on a crossover. And of course I didn’t like the episode, as it featured all the non-metas on a friggin’ spaceship, IN SPACE! The Legends finale was just more of the same. Kara acting too cutesy, Team Arrow being USELESS against aliens, and there were too many characters without a use for most of them. There was just WAY too much going on, with a threat that wasn’t entirely credible, vanquished in a manner that also wasn’t too credible. I realize I’ve gotta suspend disbelief a bit, but COME ON! And the episode ends with a private press conference with Green Arrow, front and center, meeting the new goddamn President! THE PRESIDENT SHOULD NOT BE PUBLICLY ASSOCIATING WITH A VIGILANTE! It’s like Flashpoint has got them living in Trump’s America or some shit! Anyway, there was a pretty clever Brandon Routh/Superman Returns joke near the end, so I’ll give them credit for that one.
In television news, it was announced that the long-gestating Inhumans film had been demoted to a television series to debut on ABC in 2017. In fact, the first 2 episodes will debut in IMAX in theaters. This whole thing is laughable to me, but not surprising if you understand the nuances of Marvel. The Inhumans were a pet project of Marvel CEO Ike Perlmutter, as Marvel didn’t have the film rights to the X-Men, so he saw the Inhumans as plug and play “freaks with powers” that Marvel Studios could exploit. And he basically forced this idea on Marvel Studios head Kevin Feige, who really wanted nothing to do with the project. That’s why it was put on Marvel’s film schedule, but kept getting shuffled further and further into the future. Well, after the somewhat ugly divorce between Marvel Studios and Marvel Television last year, Marvel Studios now reports directly to Disney, while Marvel Television is still under the Marvel umbrella. This also dissolved the “brain trust” of comic pros who had given input on the movies up to that point. So, this means there’s even less hope of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. ever truly aligning with the movies, but it also allowed Feige to get The Inhumans off his plate and pass the buck on to the TV division.
Anyway, the show is supposed to focus on the Inhuman royal family, such as Black Bolt and Medusa, and I can’t think of anything I’d rather see less of. That franchise has never interested me, and the idea of it on a TV budget isn’t too impressive, either. In its defense, the season will only be 8 episodes long, so they can hopefully apply 22 episodes worth of budget to those 8 episodes. The unofficial cancellation of Conviction, however, has me hoping Marvel might start conversations with Hayley Atwell to bring Agent Carter back for one more season. Adding Ghost Rider to Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. might’ve been a creative shot in the arm for the show, but it hasn’t moved the needle much in terms of ratings. So, the idea of a 5th season isn’t a guarantee at this point, despite the fact that ABC/Disney own the show. If it were up to me, I’d opt for more Agent Carter as a companion show to Inhumans and say adios to Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
In other TV news, three cast members were announced for Star Trek Discovery. Most people are gonna say Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon’s Michelle Yeoh, but I’m gonna say Supercop 2’s Michelle Yeoh has been cast as Captain Georgiou of the starship Shenzhou. Meanwhile, Anthony Rapp of Rent fame will portray the Discovery’s science officer Lt. Stamets. Motion capture veteran Doug Jones will play science officer Lt. Saru, who will be a member of an alien species new to the Trek franchise. And none of these announcements do anything for me. Where’s the obligatory former Benson cast member? Plus, people mistakenly took the news of Yeoh’s casting to mean that she’s the lead, but she’s not, as it was already announced that the lead would not be a captain, and would be a member of the Discovery crew. So, Yeoh is really just more of a high profile guest star. Still, for a show that’s supposed to debut in May (formerly January), they sure seem to be dragging their feet with this casting process.
In comic news, the rosters were revealed for the upcoming X-Men Gold and X-Men Blue series. Now, for fans of the 90s X-Men, those divisions were important because the adventures of the Gold team were featured in Uncanny X-Men, while the exploits of the Blue team were featured in the X-Men cartoon, as well as the “Adjectiveless” X-Men comic. Fans thought this would be a return to those days, but this week’s announcement dashed those hopes. X-Men Blue will focus on the time-displaced original teen X-Men, led by Magneto – a nod back to the 80s New Mutants era when Magneto served as their mentor. Meanwhile, the Gold team will be comprised of Storm, Old Man Logan, Rachel Grey, Nightcrawler, Colossus, and Kitty Pryde as leader. In a lot of ways, the current Gold team isn’t too different from the old one, as Storm and Colossus were on that team, while Nightcrawler, Rachel, and Kitty were in Excalibur at the time. I’ll probably grab the Gold book, as it seems the closest to the Extraordinary X-Men team – a book I’m already reading – plus I couldn’t give two shits about that time-displaced team. The Gold team also has the distinction of being written by Arrow co-creator Marc Guggenheim, whose work I like, while the Blue team is written by Cullen Bunn, whose indie leanings have left me somewhat disappointed. The biggest issue with the team division is that it leaves a LOT of mutants on the table without homes. Back in the day, while it could be argued that the Blue team was the more popular of the two, both had heavy hitters on their rosters. The “wealth” was spread evenly, so to speak. That doesn’t seem to be the case here. If anything, the Blue team is just a continuation of All-New X-Men, while the Gold team seems to be taking Extraordinary’s place. But where’s Magik? Beast? Am I missing their fates since I’m not reading Death of X or Inhumans vs X-Men? The whole thing just feels kind of lopsided, without a real “A” team in the mix. The Gold folks are classic characters, but lack a “wow factor”, while the Blue team just still feels like a gimmick all these years later.
In movie news, we got the concept art of how Zordon’s assistant Alpha 5 may look in the upcoming Power Rangers movie. This is the stuff of nightmares, kids! Why does he have those floodlight eyeballs? Was his scanner not enough? And why do his arms go down to the floor? I hate everything I’ve seen about this film, but I’m hoping it succeeds just so they can hopefully build off of this for the sequel and make something good. Look, I understand the need to update things for a new audience, but this thing seems almost ashamed of its source material. So, that alienates the built-in fan base, while offering almost nothing to entice a new one. I really don’t know what this movie is doing.
While we’re on the topic of Power Rangers, one aspect of the franchise that’s getting it right is the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers comic series from BOOM! There have been several Power Rangers comics over the past 20 years, and they all sucked. I know because I read the vast majority of them (One day I should write about the terrible Hamilton series where the Rangers and Zords just randomly change in the middle of the story). Anyway, for anyone who’ll listen, I’ve been telling them that the current series is better than it has any right to be. Between it and the Kimberly-centric Power Rangers: Pink spinoff, the creators are really mining the property without telling meaningless stories that “dance between the raindrops of continuity”. For example, we found out that Rita actually approached Zack to wield the green power coin before Tommy even came to town. And we also found out that Zordon reenlisted the help of the original Rangers even after they had officially left the team. But this week was this biggest shocker: in #9 of the comic series, we were introduced to a mysterious Ranger who seems to be drawing both green and white power from the Morphing Grid. Oh, and he’s evil and working with Rita. I used to be the guy who said “If it wasn’t in the show, it didn’t count”, but BOOM! is finding ways to tell interesting compelling stories while still honoring the continuity that we already know. If you’re a comic and Power Rangers fan, you should definitely be reading this series.
Things You Might Have Missed This Week
The season finale of HBO’s Insecure had many Black males joining #TeamLawrence and #LawrenceHive, sparking quite the divide on Black Twitter
Speaking of premium cable channels, Showtime announced that Masters of Sex would not be coming back for a 5th season. I guess they, uh, mastered the sex.
Full House creator Jeff Franklin actually purchased the San Francisco house that served as the exterior of the Tanner home
Billy Dee Williams will be the voice of Harvey Dent/Two-Face in The Lego Batman Movie, reprising his role from 1989’s Batman.
Quantico showrunner Josh Safran has said that the show will never feature a Muslim terrorist. That snickering you hear is coming from the producers of 24.
While promoting his new book, Saved By The Bell executive producer Peter Engel said that Zack and Kelly “weren’t built to last” and are probably divorced by now.
Good girls finish last, as Amazon has decided against a second season for Mad Men clone Good Girls Revolt
When I first saw the ads for Search Party, I thought “What a dumb idea for a show.” It looked too hipster, and it starred the Great Value Ilana Glazer, Alia Shawkat, who you probably remember as Maeby from Arrested Development. I remembered reading about it, and wondered how exactly they could make a show out of that premise. Well, I can admit when I’m wrong, and BOY was I wrong!
If you’re not familiar, Search Party kicks off with the disappearance of a young woman. Dory (Shawkat) and her group of Millennial hipster friends kinda knew the girl in college, but they wouldn’t necessarily call her a “friend”. Then, she disappears, and they milk it for all it’s worth. They post updates on social media about how a piece of them is now missing, and they even attend a vigil for her upstate. Meanwhile, Dory is sort of lost in life, and she gloms onto the case with an unexpected fervor. Things really kick into high gear when she randomly sees the missing girl in a Chinese restaurant, yet no one will believe that she really saw her. Like they’ve been doing, Dory’s friends just believe she’s milking the whole thing for attention. Then crazy people come out of the woodwork, a private investigator appears, and a cult is even involved. I never saw any of this coming, but enjoyed every minute of it. It’s like a hipster Nancy Drew.
Airing on TBS, Search Party was sort of burned off at a pace of two episodes a night in Conan’s timeslot all last week. In addition to that, immediately following the premiere on Monday, all the episodes were made available On Demand. So, I can’t figure out if TBS was extremely proud of the show OR if they couldn’t be done with it fast enough. I’m not sure how these tactics helped ratings, but critics seemed to love the show. As some critics pointed out, it’s basically what Girls could’ve been, but wasn’t. The problem with Girls is that is filled with such unsympathetic characters who all suck at life. With Search Party, however, you can kind of relate to those characters and, if not, you at least know someone like them. You understand their insecurities and the ways in which they cope with them. Sure, they kinda suck at life, but they know it, and they want to NOT suck. That can’t be said for Hannah Horvath and her friends.
In many ways, it was a major coup for TBS to get this show. It probably would’ve been more at home on something like Netflix, and probably would’ve gotten more promotion. It’s SO bingeable, and you’re going to want to blow through the 10-episode series in one sitting. It’s that good. I didn’t even see some of the twists coming that it throws at you. And the ending was nothing like you’d expect. Oh, man do I wanna talk about that ending. I don’t know how they’d get a second season out of it, but I’d love to see that cast back together. If it’s just a one and done series, it does the job there, as well. It’s the perfect miniseries. And that’s why Search Party had the West Week Ever.
The only movie I watched this week was a documentary called Meet The Hitlers, which followed the lives of people who have the name “Hitler”. Surprisingly, the Austrian guy is the most likable person featured, while the New Jersey folks are the ones who turn out to be actual Nazis. The Austrian Hitler is a really sweet guy who was abandoned by his parents as a child and now has a lion tattooed on his bald head. Meanwhile, the New Jersey couple made the news because their Shop-Rite store refused to make a birthday cake for their young son, Adolf Hitler. Eventually, the state came and took their kids away. You wanna feel bad for them, ’cause nobody wants their kids taken away, but then you remember “Oh yeah – NAZIS!” Fuck ’em. Anyway, it was a way to kill 80 minutes, but I wouldn’t recommend it or anything. It’s got no real point to it. Part of it is devoted to a writer trying to track down Hitler’s last living relative, while the rest is just these slice of life stories of folks who share the name. It needed to decide what it was going to be, instead of this mish mash of whatever it is.
In movie news, it Tim Miller stepped down as the director of Deadpool 2, which is already making fans worry about what’s going to happen with the film. Reportedly, he had creative differences with star Ryan Reynolds and, while reports claim the split is amicable, there are also claims that the two didn’t even speak to each other near the end of production of the first movie. It’s said that Miller really wanted to bring in Kyle Chandler for Cable, but Reynolds actually had casting power, and he really didn’t want Chandler. Later in the week, a petition started circulating to get Quentin Tarantino to direct the film, but I don’t think that’d be a good idea. Considering the way that Fox had no faith in the first film, cutting its budget and whatnot, you’d assume that the strife would’ve come from studio meddling. But it’s just a disagreement between star and director. It’s not like the movie is gonna fall apart, but folks will always wonder What Might’ve Been, just like with Edgar Wright’s Ant-Man.
In other Marvel news, it was announced that season two of Jessica Jones would only feature women directors. While this may seem groundbreaking to some, Black Twitter was quick to point out that Ava Duvernay’s Queen Sugar did this first. Well, the BBC’s Call The Midwife was actually the first show to do this, so there! Anyway, I get that it is creating opportunity for women directors, but it feels kinda gimmicky. I mean, I didn’t know who directed the first season’s episodes and I liked them just fine. I almost feel like they’re begging a certain type of fan to come out and say “Season two sucked because of the women directors”.
Speaking of that particular kind of fan, a bunch of them ran writer Chelsea Cain off Twitter this week because of some drama surrounding the Mockingbird comic. Basically, the final issue of the book featured the cover above, and that triggered the Men’s Rights activists, who don’t even seem to realize that the writer has no control over the cover. It’s believed that some of them were just looking for a target for their anger from last week’s Riri Williams cover controversy. If you remember, that ended up with Marvel cancelling the cover, and these folks feel like that was the wrong call. I’m just tired, man. I’m tired of shit like this. Like, I don’t even have any fight in me for something like this. I mean, who has the time or the energy? I’m not going to get too into it here, as I’ve just been hanging out on the periphery, and I can’t muster the desire to delve deeper into it. If you do a search for #IStandWithChelseaCain, you’ll find all you want to know. I just can’t believe that people get like this over funny books. I mean, I’m pretty passionate about them, but not to the point of running someone off social media. Also, I know enough about how the industry works that I know that the writer wouldn’t be the right target for my anger anyway. Nope, you channel that at the editor! I kid, I kid…
In TV, everything old is new again as we got news about 3 potential revivals that are in the works. First off, I have the misfortune of having a toddler who’s in love with a show that just ended production (Mickey Mouse Clubhouse), so I’m hoping she’ll be interested in the revival of The Muppet Babies that’s in the works for Disney Junior in 2018. I hope she can get over the weird CG animation style of the show, which is a lot more unsettling than Clubhouse‘s CG was.
Meanwhile, Raven-Symone announced that she’s leaving The View to focus on a spinoff of That’s So Raven. Since everyone’s jumping on the Fuller House/Girl Meets World bandwagon, I guess this is as good a time as any. I always felt That’s So Raven was doing too much. If you’ve never seen it, Raven-Symone starred as Raven Baxter, who was your average teenage girl in high school. At least, that’s how I would’ve left it, but Disney had to go the extra mile. No, Raven also got these psychic visions that she couldn’t control. Usually they’d result in her messing up more than saving the day. They led to a lot of misunderstandings, basically making the show a tween Three’s Company. It led to the spinoff Cory In The House, where her little brother and dad move into the White House. Yeah, it wasn’t as successful as the original series. In any case, this new spinoff would focus on Raven as a divorced single mom of two teens – one of whom seems to have inherited her psychic gift. And I’m sure hilarity ensues. I never watched That’s So Raven because I was simply too old. TNBC had already wound down by that point, and I was busy with college. Still, it’s a smart move for these networks to revive shows that folks can watch with their kids, with a tie to something they, themselves, watched when they were kids. I like these Next Generation spinoffs. Keep ’em coming!
Finally, based on the fan response from that viral video from a few weeks back, NBC is reportedly in early talks with the principal cast of Will & Grace about a revival of the series. Right now, it’s unclear as to how many episodes we’re talking about, as well as when they’d air. As y’all know, I loved that video, so I say “bring it on!”
Earlier this week, I posted a review of IDW’s Revolution event that you should check out if you haven’t already. Long story short, it’s not a very good effort on IDW’s part, but you’ll have to read the post in order to find out why.
Things You Might Have Missed This Week
Donald Glover was officially cast as a young Lando Calrissian in the Han Solo…solo movie
Cartoon Network renewed We Bare Bears for a 3rd season
ABC’s Notorious is the first unofficial cancellation of the fall season, as its episode order was cut to 10.
Twitter’s killing off Vine, as they couldn’t figure out how to monetize 6 second increments
God Particle was revealed as the next film in the Cloverfield universe. The goal is to release a Cloverfield movie ever year
Deciding he had too much on his plate, Bryan Fuller stepped down as showrunner of Star Trek Discovery. Considering they haven’t even announced a cast, I wouldn’t be surprised if there was another delay.
I haven’t seen folks fret over a season finale so much since “Who Shot Mr. Burns?” When Negan showed up in last season’s finale of The Walking Dead, he was determined to make his mark by offing a fan favorite character. This was to show that he meant business! Grrr! Well, the show returned this week, and he killed not just one, but TWO fan favorite characters, and people LOST. THEIR. SHIT. It sparked a discussion as to whether the show had gone too far. I don’t watch the series, but I tuned in to see who died, and I can’t remember seeing that kind of gore before on television (I’m not a horror guy, so maybe it was tame by those standards?). Some folks have even said that the gore was bordering on pornographic, while others have sworn off the show because it killed off one of the only bastions of hope in that universe. I don’t know whose side I’m on, really.
I used to read The Walking Dead in comic form. I wasn’t a monthly reader, but I had those hardcover editions that they’d put out every 12 issues. I immediately found myself engrossed in that world, and really started to care about the characters. Then I got to issue #48, which is where The Governor killed a character I’d really started to feel for. But it wasn’t just a death. He decapitates the character with a samurai sword. And it’s not one swift blow, so he had to hack at it until the head finally falls off. And at that moment, I thought “Fuck this book!” I stopped reading at that point because I had simply had enough. A few years later, #100 hit the stands, and I flipped through it because I’ve been trained that big round number comic issues usually have something special in them. Instead of them finding a cure for the zombies, or a cache of Twinkies from before the world went to shit, writer Robert Kirkman killed off another character that I’d grown to love back when I was still reading the book. In fact, the events of #100 are what was depicted onscreen last Sunday night. And at that moment, “Fuck this book!” crept up in me again. And I never looked back. That was over 4 years ago, and I haven’t been the least bit curious about what’s going on with Rick and the gang. That’s why Sunday didn’t really surprise me because I already knew it was coming. Still, I wasn’t prepared for how graphic it would be.
I’ve never had the least bit of interest in the television series, as that’s just not a world I want to see. It’s the same reason I readThe Road, but didn’t watchThe Road. When reading, you can kinda control the visuals and whatnot in your imagination, but for it to just be onscreen is sometimes too much for certain subject matter. There’s nothing positive in The Walking Dead. People say that the character that was killed was the last glimmer of hope in that world, but it still never paid off. Ya know why? Because there IS no hope in that world! There’s no endgame. It’s not like they’re gonna find a cure and everything is gonna go back to normal. They’re not gonna travel back in time and stop the zombies. That’s why I never understood the purpose of Fear The Walking Dead – you’re just seeing the lead up to the apocalypse. Those characters don’t win. Hell, they probably all end up dead before the events of The Walking Dead. I wish I could find the article so I could cite it, but I once read an interview with Kirkman where he said that he doesn’t really put much thought into who he’s going to kill off because he feels that, in an actual zombie apocalypse, the deaths would be pretty random, so he wants to adhere to that. That might sound impressive, but it also leads back to what I said above: there’s no endgame. He’s pretty much just going to write this thing until he gets tired. Superman doesn’t have to have an endgame. Spider-Man doesn’t have to have an endgame. The Walking Dead, though, can’t just meander for 50 years. It needs some sort of order that I don’t believe it has. And I, for one, am not willing to wallow in the muck waiting for that day to come.
Based on the thinkpieces I’ve read this week, a lot of people feel the same way that I do, only it’s in regards to the show and not the comic. But, “there’s no such thing as bad publicity”, so the fact that people are talking is exactly what AMC, Kirkman, Image, and everyone wanted. Whether you loved it or hated it, chances are you were watching and you had some thoughts about it. And that’s why The Walking Dead had the West Week Ever.
For some time now, IDW has been the comic home of Hasbro’s biggest properties, including G.I. Joe and Transformers. They recently added Micronauts, Rom: SpaceKnight and UK import Action Man to the mix. So, it seems like as good a time as any to gather them all under the same umbrella in a shared universe. The mechanism for doing this is the miniseries Revolution, which will also result in a long awaited M.A.S.K. spinoff series. While this all might sound good on paper, the execution of it has been horrible. The story runs in a 5-issue miniseries, combined with various one-shots for each property involved. So far, the first 3 issues have been released, as well as the one-shots for Rom, M.A.S.K., and Micronauts. By this point, I feel justified in saying that the story is confusing, ugly, and not well planned. Let’s take a closer look, shall we?
In the first issue, we learn that the Transformers depend on a mineral called Ore-13, which has recently become unstable and is exploding. The new Action Man is investigating a stockpile of it in Mt Olympus, where he discovers former G.I. Joe member Big Ben who’s not long for the world. Big Ben tells him that he was running a mission when he was ambushed by some Joes. He doesn’t know why his former teammates would attack him, but he managed to grab one of their dog tags before the rest of his crew was slaughtered. He says it seems like they were after the Ore-13, but Action Man is snatched away before the mountain explodes with Big Ben and the rest of the Ore-13. Well, apparently, the Transformers recently proclaimed that Earth would be joining the Cybertronian community, and the humans aren’t too pleased about that, as they see the Transfomers establishing themselves as our overlords. Enter G.I. Joe, who decide to attack the Transformers during a humanitarian mission. Things are pretty much at a stalemate until Rom the SpaceKnight comes out of nowhere and kills 4 Joes, including team founder Joe Colton. Since Rom looks more Cybertronian than human, the Joes assume he’s on the Transformers’ side. So, they take this as a declaration of war. We also get a back-story from Revolution #0, which introduces M.A.S.K.’s Miles “Mayhem” Manheim. They actually do something clever here by saying that he was a member of the original Action Team with Joe Colton. It appears he’s actually got Transformer Blitzwing in captivity, who he’s harvesting for parts and technology.
In the second issue, it’s the Transformers vs Rom, as they’re pissed at him for “blowing up their spot”. They had formed something of an uneasy alliance with the humans, and Rom’s actions had just undone that by murdering those Joes. Rom, however, insists that he murdered no humans. Rom tells them that he is hunting the Dire Wraiths, who have managed to infiltrate world governments. Meanwhile, we’re introduced to the M.A.S.K. team, and the new Black Matt Trakker. Aileron and Kup face off against the M.A.S.K. team, whose vehicles were built using Cybertronian technology, resulting in Kup being captured. Trakker, however, has second thoughts about what they’ve done when he realizes the Transformers are sentient, and more than mere machines. At the end, we find out that Micronauts’ Baron Karza is behind the unstable Ore-13, as he’s been stealing it via a transdimensional space bridge in order to save the Microspace. Um, OK.
The third issue brings a whole bunch of confusing Micronauts stuff, ’cause I know nothing about that franchise. It seems like the “heroes” of that world have formed an uneasy alliance with the villain Karza in order to save their universe. It’s Optimus Prime vs Rom because Rom’s mission is to defeat the Dire Wraiths, while Prime insists that Earth must be their primary concern. At the end of the day, Prime determines that, while Earth is important, the Microspace must also be preserved. Meanwhile, the autopsy results are in and the Joes realize their fallen friends weren’t human after all. Since they don’t know who they can trust, Scarlett puts in a call to “somebody we haven’t talked to in a while.” I think we all know who she means. Karza does some shit. Rom does some shit. And the issue ends with an entrance by Snake-Eyes.
Revolution M.A.S.K.: Mobile Armored Strike Kommand #1 is the only one-shot I’ve bought from the series. It introduces us to the rest of the M.A.S.K. team, as we watch as they’re recruited and how they handle basic training. We also get hints that some of them aren’t as virtuous as they should be, yet those personalities align with team leader Miles “Mayhem” Manheim. Nothing here is original. Some recruits die in training, as “collateral damage”. The team is tasked with an impossible rescue mission. You’ve seen all of this before. Yet, it’s a serviceable introduction to the team and franchise. That said, I think all of this could’ve been possible without it taking place within the clunky Revolution storyline, as nothing in the special ties into present events – it’s a prequel story.
So, what are my problems with the series? Well, first of all, it’s a terrible jumping-on point for new readers. There’s WAY too much backstory with the Transformers and G.I. Joe books for this to go smoothly. Now, IDW did release a The Road to Revolution discount trade paperback with 5 stories that they felt were crucial to making the story a richer experience, but there shouldn’t have been required reading. A successful crossover like this should be accessible to all. To give you an idea of the problems here, IDW has had the Transformers license for ELEVEN YEARS. They’ve had the G.I. Joe license for EIGHT YEARS. In that span of time, the G.I. Joe comic has been rebooted four times, while most of the early Transformers comics were just a series of miniseries. I was IDW’s Diamond brand manager at the time of the early Transformers books, and even I didn’t really know what was going on. For folks with a cursory knowledge of the brands, this series opens with a ton of questions: Why’s Soundwave with the good guys? Where’s Bumblebee? Why is Scarlett the team leader? Where’s Flint and Duke and the Joes people care about? What about Cobra?
Something like this seems like it would be better served by a reboot of the existing brands instead of trying to get them to mesh with the newcomers. It doesn’t feel like they’re bringing their truest, core representations to the party. G.I. Joe isn’t just the military, as it’s used here. Their primary mission was to fight Cobra. Without Cobra, what are they? Here, they’re a shoot first, ask questions later sort of organization, which doesn’t really line up with what we’ve known them to be. If they’d been the least bit diplomatic, then this whole battle wouldn’t have even taken place. Like, why is Scarlett so pissed? And Snake-Eyes is a lot less cool/mysterious when he’s TEXTING! What happened before this miniseries to make her like this? As a new-ish reader, I can’t help but feel that I’m missing a lot. This miniseries might be a rich experience for those who’ve been following the series recently, but it’s just not a fulfilling experience for casual readers.
Another problem is that it seems actual story is taking place in the one-shots, which isn’t how these things are done. One-shots in an “event series” are supplemental material, stories going at the periphery of the action. Here, though, you open up Revolution #3, and Rom is suddenly just chilling with the Transformers like the events of the past issue never happened, and there’s an editor’s note of “See Rom : Revolution #1.” NO! That’s not how you do this. Major team shifts, side switches, etc don’t happen in the one-shots. You leave the meat and potatoes for the main series.
Finally, the art’s just ugly. I’m not sure if IDW has a stable of “exclusive” artists, but you’d want the best on something this high profile. They do a capable job of handling the tech, such as the Transformers and the M.A.S.K. vehicles, but the humans are rough and inconsistent from panel to panel. They also look a bit cartoony for the subject matter. I realize all of these properties are toylines, but they’re being introduced in a story with some pretty high stakes. Imagine if Marvel’s Civil War had been drawn by an Archie artist. That’s what you’ve got here.
After saying all that, I’ll probably stick with it since there are only 2 core issues left. That said, it hasn’t been an enjoyable experience. If this had just been a one-off thing, I’d probably give it a pass. It’s not, though. This miniseries is meant to set up the future of the Hasbro properties at IDW, and that just doesn’t seem like a good thing at this point. This series is a mess, so it doesn’t make me too optimistic about the future. If you’re a die-hard Transformers or Joe fan, I guess you’ve got to read it, but if you’ve just got casual interest, this is a revolution you can skip.
On TV, I caught the HBO series Insecure. Everyone’s talking about Westworld, but nobody’s really talking about this. Created by and starring Issa Rae of Awkward Black Girl fame, it follows a young Black woman who’s trying to find her way in an unfulfilling job and a dead-end relationship. It’s a cute show, but I could see myself getting bored with it the same way I got bored with the Awkward Black Girl webseries. According to the ratings, the show’s not doing all that well on HBO, with fewer than a half million people tuning in. Rae’s had this development deal with HBO for years, but I can’t help but think this show would do better on another network. In fact, it would be the PERFECT companion for Atlanta over on FX. Both Rae and Glover have been thrown into that “You aren’t Black enough/Why do you talk White?” camp at some point in their careers, yet now they’re some of the leading voices of the Black Millennial. Hell, the show might even do better on Starz, scheduled after Power. What I’m saying is that Sarah Jessica Parker’s Divorce is NOT the right lead-in for the show, as I’m sure Insecure isn’t retaining much of that audience.
In TV news, it was reported that Jason Segel is down for a How I Met Your Mother reunion. THIS is what’s known as a “slow news day”. I mean, the show basically JUST ended. Yes, I realize it’s been 3 years, but that’s still too early for us to be wondering where those characters ended up. I mean, I just got done being mad about that finale. I’m not ready to deal with Ted Mosby’s shit again this soon. Give it some time to settle. Maybe wait until you’ve got an idea that’s legen…wait for it… As for some HIMYM trivia, did you ever realize that Marshall and Lily don’t kiss that often? Apparently, Allyson Hannigan couldn’t stand Segel’s smoker breath, so she asked that they not kiss too much. I never realized that, but now I’ll be looking for it.
In comics news, it was reported that Justice League/Mighty Morphin Power Rangers would be launching as a miniseries next year. Personally, I think this is a horrible idea. I think it boils down to the fact that I have never really seen the Power Rangers as “superheroes”. They’re more like “global peacekeepers”, which makes them more like galaxy cops. Then again, the Green Lanterns are space cops and they’re considered superheroes, so what do I know? Hell, Batman just teamed up with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles so it’s not like these crossovers have to “make sense”. Someone on Twitter pointed out that it’s really more of a cash grab since both have movies coming out next year. Adult Rangers fans, God bless ‘em, are happy about the news because it sort of lends some legitimacy to the Power Rangers brand. Justice League fans, however, are pretty much in “WTF?” mode. Morbid curiosity dictates that I check out the first issue, but I can’t say I’m excited for this. I’m not even cautiously optimistic about it.
There was also some drama in the art camp as J. Scott Campbell came under fire for a variant cover he did for Midtown Comics of upcoming Tony Stark replacement, Riri Williams. The biggest complaint is that he basically sexualized a 15 year old girl. Now, Campbell and I have had our differences – to the point that he’s blocked me on Twitter. Still, I have to give credit where it’s due, and I don’t see anything wrong here. He drew her based on how she’d been previously depicted: same hair, same shirt, same bare midriff, etc. Have you looked at a 15 year old lately? This is how a lot of them look. I see the curvature of the hip, but I’m not seeing Campbell’s version as “sexy”, per se. If anything, I’m more surprised that he drew a convincingly Black face. My biggest complaint about him is that he’s built a career on basically drawing the same female face and only changing the hair. In this case, I would’ve expected him to draw that same face and let the colorist handle the fact that it’s a Black character. No, he actually drew a serviceable Black teenager, so I’ll give him credit there. Some blame has to go to Marvel, as they knew what you get with a Campbell cover, but he’s nowhere near as brazen as, say, Frank Cho. Riri has some big shoes to fill, so Marvel’s going to have to be careful with how they handle her – especially with so many eyes on her debut. Anyway, last night Marvel and Midtown mutually agreed to kill the cover, with Campbell blaming “faux outrage” for the decision.
In toy news, Hasbro announced the creation of HasCon, which will be their own convention devoted to their brands, to be held in Rhode Island next fall. This had been rumored for some time, but now it’s a real thing. I understand branding and all, but “HasCon” is a terrible name. It’s not something that evokes fun. It sounds like something you’d hear in a disaster situation. “Mr. President, alert HasCon that the virus has gone airborne!” Anyway, some fans are upset because Star Wars and Marvel won’t be represented, but that shouldn’t come as much of a surprise since Hasbro doesn’t own those properties. I still think this could spell a resurgence for G.I. Joe, and maybe we’ll finally get that M.A.S.K. toyline reboot.
In wrestling news, everyone’s crush, British wrestler Paige, proposed to her boyfriend Alberto Del Rio. This is a dumb, dumb girl. I say “girl” because she’s 24, and I don’t really trust the judgment of anyone under the age of 25 – especially when they jump off shit for a living. The dude’s not even divorced yet, as his wife is claiming that he cheated on her WITH Paige, and then Paige went and did the dumbest thing you can do at her age – got his name tattooed under breast. This is all just a midlife crisis for Del Rio, but I really feel like Paige doesn’t realize how she’s squandering her opportunity with the WWE. Del Rio already left abruptly, and she’s on a suspension for violating the Wellness Policy, as well as claiming she needs neck surgery that WWE doesn’t think she needs. She’s even been removed from Raw’s opening sequence. She is NOT in good standing with WWE, so she should really be focusing on her career instead of this high school, lovey dovey shit. But hey, it’s her life.
In video game news, Nintendo announced the Nintendo Switch console. The benefit of the system is that you can take the home gaming experience with you, as the console undocks to become portable. The trailer shows people in a lot of public settings where you wouldn’t typically be playing video games anyway. So, it’s like, “thanks but no thanks”. I already think it’s weird when socially awkward folks whip out a DS in the middle of a party or while standing in line, but now they’re gonna have a whole, damn full-fledged console? Anyway, it looks cool in theory, but I don’t plan on buying one. Based on the trailer, it looks like it’s designed to make you anti-social in social environments.
Things You Might Have Missed This Week
Leo DiCaprio is producing a Captain Planet movie that picks up years after the show, where a washed-up Captain Planet needs the Planeteers more than ever. OK, whatever…
The Walking Dead was renewed for season 8, so there’s no end in sight for it or the comic it’s based on
CBS granted full season orders to freshman shows Bull, MacGyver, and Kevin Can Wait. They also canceled summer series BrainDead and American Gothic
Speaking of CBS, they’re developing popular app Candy Crush into a game show. Personally, I’d rather have a Fruit Ninja show, but I bet Asian groups would lose their shit
Max Steel became one of the biggest bombs ever, taking in just over half a million dollars on opening day
Billy Bush and NBC parted ways, with Bush receiving a $10 million payout. Man, NBC sure has a funny idea of what “punishment” is…
After 30 years, MetLife is dumping Snoopy and the rest of the Peanuts characters from its marketing campaign.
Bob Dylan won the Nobel Prize, but won’t answer his phone for them to get it to him.
Programming Note: If you notice, I never really talk about comics or graphic novels that I’ve read in West Week Ever – mainly because I’ve got separate columns for that. Yup, Adventures West Coast is my graphic novel review column, while Comical Thoughts is where I discuss monthly comics that I’ve read. They’ve been gathering dust for over a year or so, but I dusted off Adventures West Coast this week with my review of Grant Morrison’s Wonder Woman: Earth One Vol 1 (check it out if you missed it the other day). My goal is to have a comic post every Wednesday – either an AWC or a CT post, but I can’t do that if you’re not reading them. So, if you’re interested and like what you see, click and click often. AND SHARE!
The X-Men movies get a bad rap as a franchise. Despite creative high points like X2: X-Men United and X-Men: Days of Future Past, fans choose to remember the low points, such as X-Men: The Last Stand and X-Men Origins: Wolverine. When you break down the 9 movies that comprise the franchise, it’s about a 50/50 when it comes to whether or not they were “good” movies. Then the Marvel Cinematic Universe came along and changed folks’ idea of what a shared comic book universe is supposed to look like. Suddenly, X2 was no longer good enough and Fox needed to “give the X-Men back to Marvel!”
I’ve never thought the situation was that dire when it came to the X-Men movies. I like that there’s some MCU competition out there, as the Fox movies basically have a different tone to them. You actually feel like things are at stake in X-Men movies, not sure if they are going to be able to save the day at the end. The audience loves RDJ and Chris Evans, so you know Cap and Iron Man aren’t ever in any real danger, but Anna Paquin? She could easily die. In Avengers, we never really saw what would happen to Earth if they had failed to defeat the Chitauri, since that would never happen. In Days of Future Past, however, we saw what happens when the X-Men lose, and it ain’t pretty. Well, yesterday we got the trailer for the third and final Wolverine movie, titled Logan, and we see that the future can be bleak in more ways than one.
In the trailer, we see the near future, where mutants aren’t as prevalent, and Logan’s healing factor isn’t working so well anymore. A young girl needs saving, and Professor X, now old and sickly, believes that Logan is the man to do the saving. Set to the Johnny Cash version of “Hurt”, the trailer is evocative of similar media like The Road or The Last of Us. It’s just Wolverine and a young girl trying to survive. Hell, I don’t even know if Professor X is really even there or if he’s just something that Logan sees. I wouldn’t put it past them. What we get, though, is a story that seems like it has weight. It has finality to it. Jackman may come back in future X-Men movies, but this sure doesn’t feel like it. This is it. And the thing at stake is the reputation of the X-Men movie franchise. Following the success of Deadpool, the movie is rated R, so hopefully Wolverine can finally cut loose like we’ve been expecting for the past 17 years. I think this is gonna be good. I think it’s gonna be really good. And that’s why the Logan trailer had the West Week Ever.
Wonder Woman: Earth One is the least “Grant Morrison” project I’ve ever read from Morrison, and I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. I’ve come to expect a bunch of “over my head” stuff from Morrison’s work, as I rarely even understand most of it. So, when he actually brings a fairly grounded approach to Wonder Woman, I’m almost disappointed that he didn’t bring his patented magic to the book.
If you’re not familiar with the Earth One books, they’re reimaginings of the popular DC Comics heroes, with the stories taking place on a “real world” Earth much like our own. The series started a few years ago, focusing on Superman (I reviewed the second volume of that book), followed by Batman, Teen Titans, and now Wonder Woman.
Now, I have to go on record that I’ve never been the biggest Wonder Woman fan. Sure, she’s part of DC’s “Trinity”, but her greatest strength is just the longevity of her publication history. She’s got no rogues gallery, and there are very few “iconic” Wonder Woman stories. Since her film debut in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, however, I’ve developed a newfound respect for the character, and I’ve been searching for a comic that really gets to her core. As the first volume of an Earth One series, this was bound to be an origin story, so I thought it would be a great place to start. Despite the fact that I don’t necessarily “get” a lot of Grant Morrison’s work, he has a reputation for getting to the core of characters, and here he is teamed with Yanick Paquette, with whom he worked on The Seven Soldiers of Victory, which I enjoyed.
The story opens to a flashback of Hercules and his crew trying to subjugate the Amazons. After Hippolyta, Queen of the Amazons, kills Hercules, she frees the other Amazons from captivity, and they proceed to murder their would-be captors. At this point, they decide to retreat from Man’s World , and we are then taken to present day Paradise Island – an idyllic utopia established by the Amazons, untouched by men. They’re flying around on hovercycles and in invisible jets, and my chauvinism came out: my first thought was “What man created those for them?” Yeah, I know I suck, but admitting it is the first step to recovery, right?
Anyway, Diana, daughter of Hippolyta, is being brought back to Paradise Island in chains, on trial for breaking Amazon law and going to Man’s World. Through various testimonies, we learn how Diana discovered an injured pilot named Steve Trevor, who had crash landed on the island. Knowing that he would be killed simply for being a man, she devises a scheme to get him back to the US for the medical help that he needs. Along the way, she finds herself bewildered by the state of women in Man’s World, and she ends up getting a makeover from a sorority. Yeah, that happened.
The book does take some interesting liberties with the story, however. For example, Steve Trevor is a Black man in this version, which works just fine. After all, there’s nothing that says he had to be White other than the time period in which he was created. Another thing is that the story confirms Wonder Woman as a queer character, as its her lover’s invisible jet that she steals in order to get Trevor to safety. I just find it interesting that the latest news cycle revolved around the fact that the current Wonder Womanwriter, Greg Rucka, had identified her as queer when this story predated his run. So, either nobody read this thing OR they figured it “didn’t count” since it takes place on another Earth.
The art is beautiful, yet flat. There’s no real action, and the characters look like Colorforms just creatively placed around the page. It almost felt like Paquette took a page from the Greg Land playbook, where the model images come from different sources so they don’t necessarily mesh well when placed together. As pretty as the art may be, I’m not sure it really complements the story being told.
I’m not going to spoil the whole thing, as most of the story is told through flashbacks, and would make more sense if you read it. At the end of the day, though, Morrison basically just gives us an update of The Little Mermaid. Diana has everything she could want, but she knows there’s more out in the world and she wants to experience it, much to the chagrin of her royal parent. There’s little depth to Diana, and it’s odd seeing Morrison tackle a character who’s so brazenly optimistic. There’s typically a darkness to his subjects, which probably lends to their complexity. It’s a cute story – the kind of thing you could read to your young daughter before she goes to sleep. But it’s not a Morrison Story, which is synonymous with layers and crazy, wacky shit. I guess I should appreciate the fact that he wrote something I can actually grasp, but part of me feels like he just phoned it in. I’ve found that a lot of the heroes’ depiction in the Earth One books leaves a lot to be desired, so maybe this follows that pattern. Their Superman is a quiet loner. Their Batman is kind of a doofus who’s a shitty detective. So, I guess it makes sense that their Wonder Woman would be a peppy cheerleader. It just feels like such a wasted opportunity, though. Here, Morrison seems out of his element, and has little to offer a story that’s been told better by others before him.