08th Dec2017

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 12/8/17

by Will

I just want to thank you all for all the kind words following last week’s announcement. I’ve already got one little fearless spider monkey, so I’m not sure what I’m going to do with TWO, but I’m glad I’ve got all of y’all on my side 🙂

HarassmentWatch (TM)

It wouldn’t be a week in 2017 without an update to the HarassmentWatch tracker.

  • Danny Masterson – The former That 70’s Show star has been written out of the third season of The Ranch – the Netflix comedy he stars in with former costar Ashton Kutcher. While reports surfaced that Netflix basically told one of Masterson’s accusers that they didn’t believe her, the network finally took action this week and fired him from the show.
  • US Representative John Conyers – I forgot to mention him when the allegations first came out about him, but the longest continuously serving lawmaker in the House of Representatives was swamped with sexual harassment allegations. Well, he announced his retirement this week. And considering he was one of the lowest paid reps, he probably lives with his kids now. Speaking of those kids, Conyers endorsed his son, John Conyers III, as the one who should replace him. So, that dude ain’t winning. On top of that, another Conyers relative has also expressed interest in running for the seat, so get your seats now for the title match-up at Conyergeddon!!!!
  • Senator Al Franken – Following the allegation shitstorm kicked off by radio host Leeann Tweeden, pressure mounted on Franken to resign, which yesterday he announced he would do. It’s kind of a shame that this happened because he was good enough, he was smart enough and, doggone it, people loved him. Also, there are reports that Tweeden is a birther who had been coached on how to take down Franken. Whatever it was, he seemed like a dude who just liked to take wacky pictures. He wasn’t a wang dangler like the rest of these guys. Still, I guess we’ve got to hold these guys to a higher standard. Well, Democrats feel they have the moral high ground now that they’ve forced Conyers and Franken to resign, but they’ll soon find out that ain’t worth shit in 2017.

It was a big week for comic-related TV shows, as we got the return of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and the premiere of Happy! First, let’s talk about S.H.I.E.L.D. It was a two hour premiere, but I only made it through the first hour. Hey, it’s hard to focus on a show when you’re trying to put a toddler to bed who’s about as manageable as Family Guy‘s Greased Up Deaf Guy! Anyway, the first hour kinda bored me. Sure, they were in space, but the speculation boners had been hard all summer for something that I don’t think we got. So, I went online and read the summary of the hour I missed just to see if it was worth my time. It wasn’t. I’m sure I’ll catch up on it at some point, but what I read just makes me more upset that this show is considered a part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

SPOILER

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So, apparently the agents are in space, in the FUTURE, AND EARTH HAS BEEN DESTROYED! Oh, and Daisy caused the destruction of Earth, ’cause she’s the equivalent of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. trying to make fetch happen. So I’m to believe that, in a world, with a Tony Stark and a Bruce Banner and all the rest, an emo hacker with earthquake powers would be able to get away with this? Kinda like how folks felt about Blake Shelton being named Sexist Man Alive, the only way this happens is if everyone else is dead and there are no more heroes and villains. Is that what they’re trying to convey here? I know they’re trying to raise the stakes of the show, but I’m just not buying it. Hell, the Avengers still don’t even know Coulson is alive, so the only way I can stomach this show is to just assume it’s another universe. You know how those folks who watch Gotham have to trick themselves? Yeah, I’m gonna have to do the same thing here.

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END OF SPOILER

Meanwhile, on Syfy, Grant Morrison’s Happy! debuted, and I was bored about 15 minutes into the show. SVU‘s Christopher Meloni plays a disgraced former cop/current hitman who, following a mob hit gone wrong, ends up being able to see animated blue flying horse. Like most Morrison stuff, this just went over my head. I guess he’s trying to say something that I’m just not picking up. I will say, however, that I’m still not used to them being able to say “Fuck” so freely on basic cable now, but 2017. They say it a LOT here. The aesthetic of the show makes it look like it’d be more at home on FX, but I guess FX saw the script and was like “Didn’t we just do this with Wilfred?” Anyway, I’m glad Bobby Moynihan has a job (he’s the voice of the horse – UPDATE: Moynihan voiced Happy in the pilot, but not in the series. I guess he couldn’t juggle two shows at once. Now he has no shows. Womp womp. Patton Oswalt now voices Happy in the series), but I don’t think I’ll be returning to this show.

I was dreading writing this week’s post solely for this part right here. I’m probably gonna be seen as “on the wrong side of history”, but I just feel strongly about this one. You see, talks have resumed between Fox and Disney, with it looking like Disney will be purchasing 21st Century Fox in an estimated $66 billion deal sometime next week. And I think this is a horrible idea. Sadly, a lot of folks can’t seem to see the forest for the trees because they have something personal to gain from it, be it finally having the X-Men/Fantastic Four in the Marvel Cinematic Universe or being able to get the original cut of Star Wars on blu ray. Let’s look at why this is bad, shall we?

First off, media consolidation is rarely a good idea. This will result in one less studio to pitch to, one less voice in the creative realm, and a loss of jobs. “But what about Pixar and Lucasfilm?” This isn’t an apples apples comparison. When Pixar and Lucasfilm were purchased by Disney, each was an autonomous, independent studio. They knew how to do their shit, and Disney, for the most part, got out of their way. THIS IS NOT THE SAME THING. Instead of acquiring a single independent studio, Disney is about to assume a media conglomerate. DISNEY, which already owns half the world, is about to acquire another quarter of it. There are banners within Fox that may be left alone, like Fox Searchlight, but the entire company is NOT going to be handled the way that Pixar and Lucasfilm were handled.

Disney is not a monopoly, but they’re damn sure close to being one. The same people who will pop up in your Twitter mentions to tell you that Diamond Comic Distributors is a monopoly (eh, it’s a bit more nuanced than that) are the ones championing this deal because Star Wars. Or because Fantastic Four. I have had people with no knowledge of the industry whatsoever insist to me that Disney is doing this deal simply to get the Marvel licenses it doesn’t have. No, they’re not. They’re trying to bolster their inventory for their upcoming streaming service, and Fox’s library will help them do it. Plus, let’s stop acting like Fox isn’t sitting on some popular franchises, such as Alien, Die Hard, Ice Age, Planet of the Apes, and Predator. Sure, they’re older franchises, but they’re lucrative, and everything’s getting rebooted these days. Yes, Disney has a ton of programming that they could throw on their streaming service, but is it all stuff that people want to watch? They need to have a strong inventory at launch, and you don’t do that when you’re touting the fact that Quack Pack is available for streaming. Plus, you don’t pay $66 billion for Fantastic Four. You just don’t. I’m not saying the additional Marvel licenses didn’t sweeten the deal, but let’s stop acting like Marvel runs the world. I love their movies, too, but let’s just be logical here. And, GOD! Can we stop it with all the Marvel Phase 4 speculation already? Folks are already fancasting these reboots, trying to fit them into the existing MCU landscape. Hey, if that helps you sleep at night, but your speculation boner is poking me in the back.

Plus, let’s take a closer look at Disney and their practices. Folks have a short memory, as it was just ONE MONTH AGO that Disney banned the LA Times from screenings because they didn’t like a report the paper had done about Disney’s business practices in Anaheim. They played that card because they knew they could, and the only thing that brought the ban to an end was after fellow journalists refused to cover Disney until they reconsidered (Man, if only journalists could do shit like this more often, when more is at stake than Mickey-shaped waffles). Disney is a bully, and this deal just gives them more slingshots and spitballs to use on everyone else. And speaking of misappropriation of resources, think of what a deal of this caliber would do for Fox. In the ultimate nightmare scenario that has been touted online, this would mean Fox would, then, have $66 billion more dollars with which to buy CNN. Goodbye, fair press! So, on one side you’ve now got a multimedia conglomerate large enough to shut out the press, while on the other side you’ve got an ultra conservative press that is now basically ALL the press. If you think Net Neutrality is bad, wait until Fox dominates 2/3 of cable news.

So, in a possible reality, Fox now owns Fox News and CNN, while Disney owns everything Comcast doesn’t already own, but you’re getting Galactus in your Guardians movie, so yay? You could say that I’m overreacting, but our president is The Rich Guy from the 80s, and Alabama’s electing a pedophile next week. I’d say this isn’t even close to as bad as it could get.

Meanwhile, Marvel still hasn’t addressed the Cebulski controversy, but they did announce Marvel Rising: Secret Warriors. Yep, it’s an animated concept based on their diverse characters like Ms. Marvel, Squirrel Girl, and America Chavez. God, I hate America Chavez. Dove Cameron will voice Gwen Stacy/Spider-Gwen (now called Ghost Spider), which she has done before in Ultimate Spider-Man. Oh, and Milana Vayntrub will voice Squirrel Girl – the same character she’ll portray in the live action New Warriors if a network would finally pick it up. Anyway, it seems they will start as shorts and then lead into a feature-length animated movie at some point. No home has been announced yet for the project.

There are talks that Quentin Tarantino and JJ Abrams will produce an R-rated Star Trek film. In fact, Tarantino insisted on the R-rating to allow for his signature banter between characters. Look, I know a lot of folks are intrigued by this, and some feel it’ll bring new folks to the franchise. That said, THIS MOVIE WILL NEVER HAPPEN. Either he drops out before filming starts, or he walks off the set while filming. This movie will never see the light of day, so I’m not even going to give it more attention than this.

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

    • It was announced that House of Cards will continue, without Kevin Spacey, with Robin Wright as the lead
    • Everyone, make sure you congratulate Jerusalem for being named the US recognized capital of Israel. ‘Cause that’s not gonna end poorly…
    • Russia has been banned from the 2018 Olympics Winter Games in Pyeongchang, South Korea following the country’s doping scandal. Russian officials are banned from attending, the Russian flag will not be flown, and the anthem will not be heard. The last one is the most disappointing, as the Russian National Anthem is a real club banger!

  • I had no interest in Netflix’s One Day at a Time reboot until I saw this. It’s cute, plus I always had a weird thing for Mackenzie Phillips.
  • JK Rowling defended Johnny Depp remaining in the Fantastic Beasts sequel by basically saying, “Hey, it’s just one chick who decided to pop off. That’s not the Johnny I know.” So, I guess we’re back to using that defense again.

My guest spot on 3 Black Geeks’ Morphin Metacast , where we discussed Power Rangers Samurai, dropped this week, so go over to their site and check it out!

You read everything I said up there about the Disney deal. If you were a Marvel Cinematic Universe Fanboy, then you were happier than a pig in shit. There was no stopping you, ’cause every thought and action was fueled by “Omigod, a House of M movie!” or “They can do AvX now!” God bless you sons of bitches, and that’s why you had the West Week Ever.

01st Dec2017

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 12/1/17

by Will

Welcome back! I took last week off, to give thanks and all that jazz (you weren’t gonna read it anyway!), but we’re back with a TON to talk about. So, let’s get to it!

HarassmentWatch (TM) Update

I’m so tired of writing these blurbs, but these dudes just can’t seem to keep their dicks in their pants. Just as last time, there are so many that we’ll just use bulletpoints:

  • John Lasseter – The Chief Creative Officer of Walt Disney and Pixar Animation announced that he is taking a six-month leave of absence following some “missteps”, including his penchant for giving long, awkward, unwanted hugs to female employees. Still, it seems like he kept his dick in his pants, so the Pixar brand isn’t completely tarnished.
  • Ryan Seacrest – A former stylist is saying that Seacrest engaged in a series of sexually aggressive behavior towards her, and she was demanding $15 million to not go to the media with the allegations. Guess he didn’t pay (He denies the claims). So, you think when he allegedly exposed his penis to his stylist, he announced “Seacrest OUT!”?
  • Nick Carter – The youngest Backstreet Boy was accused of sexually assaulting Melissa Schuman of the girl group Dream back in 2002. Schuman alleges that Carter took her virginity in the bathroom of his Santa Monica apartment while her friend waited in the next room. He has released a statement that anything that happened between them was consensual, and emphasized that this is the first he’s heard of these claims in the nearly twenty years since it allegedly happened.
  • Russell Simmons – Russell, Russell, Russell…First, former model Keri Claussen Khalighi accused Simmons of forcing her to have sex with him, when she was 17, WHILE Brett Ratner watched and did nothing. Simmons responded that everything that happened between them was consensual. So, just so we’re all on the same page, he basically said, “I didn’t RAPE rape her. I just statutory raped her. But she was cool with it, and so was Brett.” As if that wasn’t bad enough, Lena Horne’s granddaughter/Sidney Lumet’s daughter, Jenny Lumet, wrote a guest post at The Hollywood Reporter detailing how Simmons had sexually assaulted her in 1991. Simmons again said that his recollection of the night differed from hers, but offered a halfhearted apology. Yesterday, Simmons announced that he would be stepping away from all of his companies to “commit myself to continuing my personal growth, spiritual learning and above all to listening”. Uh-huh. Meanwhile, HBO is scrubbing all mention of, and appearances by, him in their upcoming Def Jam Comedy reboot, All Def Comedy.
  • Garrison Keillor – The women of Lake Wobegon can sleep easy tonight, knowing that Garrison Keillor has been fired from Minnesota Public Radio following allegations of inappropriate sexual behavior. As a result, MPR is cancelling distribution of reruns of Keillor’s creation, A Prairie Home Companion, and the new episodes will undergo a name change.
  • Charlie Rose – The bloom is off the rose, as Charlie was was fired from CBS This Morning AND his PBS show was cancelled, following allegations of sexual harassment and groping over the past 20 years. Rose said that he didn’t believe that all of the allegations were true, so clearly he did some of it. Apparently he liked to walk in front of women while naked. Ya know, ’cause ladies love seeing 75 year old balls swinging low.
  • Glenn Thrush – The New York Times star reporter was suspended following allegations that he had sexually harassed younger female colleagues. Since many of the incidents were influenced by alcohol, Thrush announced that he would be entering a substance abuse program.
  • Andrew Kreisberg Update – Warner Bros has officially fired the Supergirl/The Flash showrunner following the reports of his sexual harassment of NINETEEN men and women.
  • Jeffrey Tambor Update – Tambor officially left the Amazon series Transparent when it became apparent that the attention to him was negatively impacting the show.
  • Al Franken Update – Franken was removed from the PBS special David Letterman: The Kennedy Center Mark Twain Prize following the allegations against him, as two more women have come forward with claims.
  • Gary Goddard Update – Following the allegations that he molested ER/Top Gun star Anthony Edwards, Goddard announced he is taking a leave of absence from his entertainment design firm The Goddard Group so that the company can continue on without being affected by the recent spotlight on him.
  • Matt Lauer – Shocking everyone, NBC fired Lauer from The Today Show Tuesday night following a complaint lodged against him by a female colleague. Having hosted the show for the past 20 years, a Variety story reported that Lauer had given a sex toy to one female colleague, and had a special button under his desk that would lock his office door when women would enter. Oh, and he used to love to play Fuck, Marry, Kill with staffers, letting everyone know who he’d like to sleep with. It’s unclear if he will be paid the remainder of his two-year, $50 million contract set to expire next year.

Not all the crazy news this week was confined to men whipping out their penises. Nope, incoming Marvel Editor-In-Chief CB Cebulski said, “Hold my beer”. You see, comic industry muckraker Rich Johnston uncovered that Cebulski had written Marvel comics under a pseudonym 13 years ago. This was bad for TWO reasons:

  1. Marvel employees were forbidden from taking on creative work on top of their salaries at the time
  2. He pretended he was a Japanese writer, named Akira Yoshida, during a time when Marvel was looking for an authentic Japanese voice to lend some of that manga flair all the kids were loving to their books.

Now, the pseudonym thing doesn’t bother me so much. I don’t talk about it too much lately because it’s been ten years now, but I took QUITE the pay cut to work in comics. Say it with me, kids: There’s NO money in comics. Sure, you might end up writing Spider-Man or Batman for 10+ years, but that job security is few and far between. A lot of publishers/companies know that you love the product, so figure you’ll work for peanuts. And many will. It’s amazing what you’ll give up for free Dynamite Entertainment comps and a trip to San Diego. I know several folks who are working for comic companies and publishing comics. Conflict of interest out the ass, but you do what you’ve got to do to survive. Why? Because there’s NO money in comics. Now, one could say, “Then why not get a better job?” Well, I did. I’m just giving you the lay of the land.

No, the worst part of the whole Cebulski thing is the ethnic deception. Why a Japanese writer? Why couldn’t he just publish as “Rick Jones”, and everyone would have a good laugh? Well, EVERYONE loved manga at the time, and I guess he saw his opening. That leads me to another problem, though: How did this random guy, right off the street, manage to get high profile gigs like Thor and Wolverine miniseries? He was an unproven talent who hadn’t paid his dues. Nobody had even heard of him, but Marvel just rolled out some of their highest profile characters instead of giving him a Power Pack series or something? Nah, I call foul! I don’t think he’s the only one who knew about this secret, and I’d even wager that it goes all the way up to Quesada. Look, as a Marvel employee, Cebulski used his experience to know exactly to whom and how to pitch his stories. And to top it all off, he trotted in a random Japanese dude to help support his ruse. Apparently he introduced a Japanese translator to several Marvel staff members, leading them to believe that had actually just met Yoshida. At the end of the day, Cebulski took advantage of a program meant to seek out diverse voices, and he turned out to be just another White dude writing comics.

I’m AMAZED that Marvel hasn’t issued a statement yet, but here we are, 4 days later and nothing. Cebulski was set to start work on Wednesday, but I just don’t know how that’s gonna work. I don’t know how Marvel can move forward with that kind of heat on him. I say they demote him back to his old job of VP of Brand Management and Development, and quietly ship him back to Asia. Then, they give senior editor Tom Brevoort the EIC gig, which he’ll only hold for a short tenure of about 1-2 years. While that’s going on, they resume their search for a permanent replacement. That’s what I’d do, at least…

Fergie will host Fox’s new musical reality show The Four: Battle for Stardom, and if you’ve ever seen her cohost New Years Eve with Seacrest, then you know this is a horrible idea. Her hosting probably isn’t the worst thing about the show, however. You see, the show starts with the four finalists in place, so you already skip the schadenfreude of the audition stage that brings in all the ratings. Then, each week, the finalists will have to maintain their standing, as they’re challenged by random singers thrown into the mix. The judges (though they aren’t called that) are Diddy, DJ Khaled, Meghan Trainor, and record exec Charlie Walk. The prize is that this panel will help the winner become a breakout star. You know, because Diddy’s been such a starmaker in recent years. And Meghan Trainor’s gift to pop culture was her hit signalling her love of Black guys (c’mon, listen to “All About That Bass” and get back to me). If the actual relevant stars of The Voice can’t make a household name, I don’t see how these guys are gonna do it. Luckily it’s just a six-episode season, though, so it won’t stick around long enough to get tired.

My favorite current cartoon, Teen Titans Go!, celebrated its 200th episode and boy was it…disappointing. Seriously, I know a lot of you already hate the show, so this won’t come as much of a surprise to you, but I really expected something great. In the double-sized ep, the Titans enter the real world as their world begins to disappear. It’s then that they meet the animators behind the show, who reveal the show’s writers haven’t provided a script for episode #200. The animators are glad to have the break, as it’s a grueling work schedule, but the Titans will fade out of existence if a script isn’t written soon. There are cartoon cameos by everyone behind the show, as well as some of their family members. I guess it was “cute”, but it was also really self-indulgent (a fact they even acknowledge). I wish they had sat on the far superior “Night Begins to Shine” special and used it as the 200th episode celebration.

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

  • I guess Billy Ray Cyrus has come down with another case of Achy, Breaky Heart, as CMT has cancelled his sitcom, Still The King, after 2 seasons
  • Speaking of CMT, they also announced that the upcoming 6th season of Nashville will be its last. Parent company Viacom is moving to unscripted programming for most of its networks, as its cheaper to produce.
  • The crowd has spoken, as Jeremy Piven’s Wisdom of the Crowd has essentially been cancelled amid sexual assault allegations against the star.
  • A Harley Quinn animated series being developed by the guys behind Powerless for DC’s streaming service. Remember anything good about Powerless? Yeah, neither does anyone else. Pass.
  • Fox has ordered 6 more episodes of Ghosted, and is bringing in The Office showrunner/Toby, Paul Lieberstein, to run the show. They say it will go through a tonal change, and become more of a workplace comedy.
  • Speaking of Fox, the soon-to-be-cancelled LA to Vegas will premiere January 2nd.
  • This Scooby ain’t got no Doo: Ashley Tisdale’s Blondie Girl Productions, in conjunction with Warner Bros Home Entertainment, is developing the live action Daphne and Velma. To be released next year, the movie features Daphne (Sarah Jeffrey) and Velma (Sarah Gilman) as they fight zombies. Um, OK.
  • Jersey Shore Family Vacation was announced, which will reunite most of the original cast of Jersey Shore, and will premiere on MTV in 2018
  • There are reports that Kiersey Clemons may be replaced as Iris West for Flashpoint. In other news, somebody thinks Flashpoint is still getting made.
  • The Good Place has been renewed for season 3 at NBC. If only the real world were in The Good Place right now…
  • There was an Arrowverse crossover. I hear it was good. I missed it. Will report back once watched.
  • Chinese actress Liu Yifei has been cast as the lead in Disney’s live action Mulan. I hear they only went with her because Dakota Fanning and Chloë Grace Moretz had scheduling conflicts.
  • Seth Meyers will host the Golden Globes – you know, the awards that folks only care about because they think they predict the Oscars outcomes.
  • A whole bunch of people were nominated for Grammys, but I’ve never heard of most of them because I am an old man now.
  • The next Hellboy film will be released January 11th, 2019. Some folks feel like the movie is being “dumped” in January, but it’s not like it has the star power to open on Memorial Day or anything.
  • Lizzy Caplan is in talks to be the female lead in Channing Tatum’s The Little Gambit That Could X-Men spinoff film
  • Dove Cameron has been cast in a mysterious role on Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., which returns to airwaves tonight.
  • Michael Green and Bryan Fuller are out as showrunners of American Gods at Starz over budget concerns. Season 1’s budget ballooned to Game of Thrones levels, and Starz ain’t got HBO money like that…
  • Not that anyone cares, but Miss South Africa Demi-Leigh Nel-Peters won the Miss Universe title. Can’t really claim to be Miss Universe if Earth is the only contestant. Just sayin’…
  • In an interview with The New York Times, Jay-Z confessed that he cheated on Beyoncé because he was in “Survival Mode”, whatever the fuck that means. Here’s to all the guys telling their girls about Survival Mode Sunday morning, after they fucked up the night before! Good luck with that!
  • The character of Morgan, portrayed by Lennie James, will be migrating from The Walking Dead to the prequel series Fear The Walking Dead. In 5 years, he’ll join the cast of the prequel’s prequel, The Toddling Dead.
  • Suits star Meghan Markle is engaged to Prince Harry of Britishtown. We up in a castle now, baby!
  • Jennifer Hudson has requested a protective order against former fiance, wrestler David Otunga. Otunga got pissed because he alleges she was sleeping with her producer while he was home, taking care of their kid. But one look at Otunga and there’s no way she’s not getting that protective order. The system is broken, y’all.

I did two podcasts this week. Hell, I did two podcasts in one night! I was a podcast gigolo. After a 7-year absence, I made my grand return to Superhero Time. Back when I was on before, it was still a Power Rangers/Tokusatsu podcast. Now, however, they talk about Star Trek. My kind of guys! So, we discussed the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode “Rascals”, where Picard and a few others are de-aged into their pre-pubescent selves, and hi-jinks ensue! It’s a great episode, so if you like Trek or just like my ramblings, then definitely check it out. Then, I hopped over to the 3 Black Geeks feed for their Morphin Metacast Podcast, where we discussed the debut series of the Neo-Saban era, Power Rangers Samurai. The link’s not up yet, but I’ll post it next week.

So, based on the fact that Kevin Feige is calling Avengers 4 a “finale” of sorts, it’s piqued my curiosity about that film. Still, that’s over a year away, and we’ve still got another Avengers to get to first. Yup, this week we got the first trailer for Avengers: Infinity War. Watch this shit, man:

Did you see it? DID YOU SEE IT?! I don’t want to be called a Marvel shill, but how can you watch that, after having seen all the MCU films before it, and NOT get excited about it?! Sure, folks have issues with the look of Thanos (he does look like Bruce Willis ate some bad shrimp), but that’s just nitpicking. Plus, the trailer release had the desired effect of making comic fans ask “CB WHO?”, as they quickly forgot about the controversy from earlier in the week.

I can’t wait for May. My daily prayer has been, and will continue to be, “Lord, please don’t let me die before Infinity War”. I think He understands. Anyway, it goes without question that the Avengers: Infinity War trailer had the West Week Ever.

Wait!

 

There’s more!

 

OK, before I leave you, I have to announce that there is a big change coming to the multiverse very soon. That’s right, a new West will debut in May! Stay tuned!

03rd Nov2017

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 11/3/17

by Will

 

So, I saw Thor: Ragnarok, but I know many of you haven’t, so no spoilers. All I’ll say is I LOVED it! I might talk more about it next week, but for now, some non-spoilery thoughts:

  • Easily the best of the Thor films, which I know isn’t saying that much…
  • It deftly plays with the world that has already been established by the MCU, while maintaining its own voice. I don’t know if you could understand the film never having seen the other stuff, but it’s a much richer experience if you have.
  • Tim Hiddleston wears the Hell out of a suit
  • This was the “moviest” MCU film to date. Some folks might think I mean “cinematic”, but I don’t. That’s not what I’m trying to convey. I didn’t grow up watching action movies like Predator or Die Hard, but I’ve seen the Big Trouble In Little China/Buckaroo Banzai/Remo Williams triad more times than I can count (thanks, Fox 5!). A few weeks ago I shared the 80s homage trailer that Nerdist did for this film, and they really hit the nail on the head. This totally feels like the kind of thing I’d watch on a Saturday afternoon, 30 years ago. And that’s really part of its charm.
  • No one else could’ve played Goldblum’s part. Maybe, just maybe Lithgow, but I doubt it.
  • I didn’t expect to see Rita Repulsa in TWO movies this year, yet here we are.

In Hollywood news, the sexual assault allegations runneth over, as the week began with some reports about everyone’s favorite actor, Kevin Spacey. Apparently he tried to force himself on Rent/Star Trek: Discovery actor Anthony Rapp back when Rapp was only 14. When confronted, Spacey said that he didn’t remember the incident, but apologized for Rapp having to carry that with him all these years. And, oh yeah, he’s gay. Yeah, he “broke glass in case of emergency” and finally came out of the closet to deflect the whole situation. And people were PISSED. The biggest problem with what he did is that it conflates homosexuality with child sexual abuse, which is a problematic correlation that some people make. Also, Spacey isn’t really owning up to it, rather taking the “It was years ago, and I was drunk” excuse. Now, taking a page from every other celebrity who ends up in the shit, he’s announced that he’s getting “treatment”. Meanwhile, Netflix announced that the next season of House of Cards would be its last. Now, this decision had already been made but production has reportedly been stalled, as more allegations of harassment are coming from the set of the show.

But it didn’t end there. Oh, no it did not! Next up, director Brett Ratner and actor Jeremy Piven were accused of sexual harassment. And water is wet. Seriously, no one is surprised by these two guys being called to the carpet. Ratner reportedly did the old director chestnut of having actresses, such as Olivia Munn, watch him masturbate, while Piven reportedly harassed a woman on the Entourage set, which I’m sure was littered with roofies and spent cans of Axe body spray. Bringing up the rear, however, was a surprise: Dustin Hoffman. Rain Man’s was out there harassing a 17 year old back in 91!

Meanwhile, there’s reportedly “overwhelming evidence” that Danny Masterson from That 70s Show sexually assaulted 4 women back in the early 2000s. However, Scientology lawyers are so powerful (Masterson’s a Xenu follower) that the case has stalled. “Overwhelming evidence” and “stalled case” really don’t seem to go together, yet here we are. While Netflix was reportedly “deeply troubled” by the Spacey allegations, they’ve yet to say anything about Masterson, whose series The Ranch they carry. Keep it in your pants, Hollywood!

In movie news, Chuck star Zachary Levi has been cast as Captain Marvel. I mean Shazam. I mean…what the Hell are they gonna call him? Some folks call him “The Big Red Cheese”, so that works for me. Not to be confused with the Marvel character/film starring Brie Larson, this is the 40s hero who kinda resembles Superman – so much so that DC sued Fawcett Comics for the similarities. Later on, DC would just add the character and his extended family to the DC Universe. I love Zachary Levi, but this does nothing for me. My first thought was “What kind of workout plan are they gonna put him on?” I mean, Chris Pratt did it, so I’m sure he can, too, but the announcement just falls flat for me.

The biggest point of contention is that, supposedly, he’ll one day go toe to toe with his arch enemy, Black Adam – who will be played by Dwyane Johnson. Maybe. You see, Johnson signed on when DC was originally going to give Black Adam his own film – foolish since he’s the villain, so it’d be hard to find an actor with the “gravitas” to go head to head with him in the hero role. Levi is NOT that guy. Recent reports, however, seem to indicate Johnson is too busy for the Shazam movie, so now former Sinestro Mark Strong is up for the role of Dr Sivana as the villain of the film. I’m more interested in this now that the DCEU wants to downplay a shared universe, but that’s still saying very little.

In TV news, you may not believe this, but there’s a Marvel show without a home. Yes, Inhumans is able to stink up the airwaves for an hour a week, but there’s another Marvel property that can’t get that time. It appears Freeform couldn’t find a slot for New Warriors, so the show is being shopped around. Starring everyone’s favorite AT&T girl, Milana Vayntrub. Instead of just outright cancelling it, Marvel seems pleased with the show and doesn’t want to sit on it for another season. The problem, though, is that some reports are now saying that Marvel is no longer allowed to license any new series to non-Disney outlets. This means that the Netflix shows could continue, but don’t look for any new characters to join the Netflix universe. As many networks as Disney owns, there really isn’t one that stands out as the perfect home for the series. It should probably just go to Hulu with Runaways but, like I said, that may not be possible anymore.

In other TV news, the next Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon was announced: Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. We also got a look at the new voice talent, with The Vampire Diaries’ Kat Graham will voice April O’Neil, Ballers‘ Omar Williams as Raph, Parks & Rec‘s Ben Schwartz as Leo, Silicon Valley‘s Josh Brener as Don, and You’re The Worst‘s Brandon Mychal Smith is Mikey. I have two problems here, though: Leonardo is now considered the “coolest” Turtle, and Raph, being the oldest, is now the leader. Yeah, I think I’m gonna pass. That’s not saying a lot, as I kinda fell off the recent show pretty early on. I enjoyed it, but it was just another show that I had to keep up with, and I got tired. This show, returning to 2D animation, will have 26 episodes and premiere in 2018.

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

  • The Orville scored an early season 2 renewal at Fox
  • Speaking of Fox, they’re looking into rebooting the 24 franchise again, this time with the focus on a female attorney racing the clock to save her client from the death penalty. I think the 24 concept can work if they move it away from CTU – an agency whose ineptitude should’ve caused it to be mothballed years ago.
  • Jordan Peele is rebooting The Twilight Zone at CBS All Access
  • Gotham is just burning through Poison Ivy actresses, as Peyton List has just been cast as the character – the 3rd actress to play Ivy since the series launched.
  • Chantal Thuy has been cast as Outsiders member Grace Choi in The CW’s Black Lightning series.
  • When the writers tried to unionize, billionaire owner of DNAinfo and Gothamist shut down all the sites, including DCist
  • Beyoncé has been cast as Nala in Disney’s live action adaptation of The Lion King
  • Still angry at The Rock for delaying Fast 9, Tyrese has vowed that he won’t be in it if The Rock is still in it. While folks thought Tyrese was having a breakdown, it turns out he’s going broke fighting his ex-wife in court for custody of their daughter.
  • Folks had a field day mocking Papa Johns Pizza when its CEO complained that the NFL protests were hurting his business.
  • Major League Baseball sent a weak ass message by suspending Houston Astros player Yuli Gurriel for games played NEXT SEASON for a racist gesture he made during the World Series against Dodgers pitcher Yu Darvish
  • CBS effectively cancelled the Bobby Moynihan/John Larroquette series Me, Myself, and I by pulling it from the schedule after 6 low-rated episodes.
  • Because the shark hasn’t nearly been turbo boosted over with an animated Halloween special, David S. Pumpkins will also be getting a Funko Pop figure. Here’s my problem with Pumpkins: I keep thinking of the lowly SNL staff writer who’s not seeing a dime from any of this.
  • During a year when it’s been publishing some surprisingly hard-hitting journalism, Teen Vogue announced they were discontinuing their print edition.
  • Some heroic Twitter employee took it upon him/herself to keep our President from embarrassing himself for 11 minutes by taking down his account. The account has since been restored, but for a mere 11 minutes, we were at peace.

  • There was a Sabrina, The Teenage Witch reunion at Stan Lee’s LA Comic Con. Half the people there weren’t even important to the show. Black dude? One season. Redhead? She just popped on when Clueless got cancelled. David Lascher? What 90s show DIDN’T he appear on?
  • At the London Comic-Con, Hasbro revealed that the Build A Figure for the Black Panther movie wave of Marvel Legends will be Okoye, who is the leader of the Dora Milaje. I was hoping it’d be one I could skip, but I’m all-in on movie Legends, so…

“Have you seen Stranger Things 2? Have you seen Stranger Things 2? Have you seen Stranger Things 2?” That was the common Earth greeting from the past week. You weren’t shit unless you were bingeing that series at some point over the past 7 days. The first season was a hit, and I’ve yet to see any complaints about this one. Super Mario Odyssey has also gotten some good press, but it got the WWE last week. No, I haven’t seen Stranger Things 2. Hell, I haven’t even seen Stranger Things. I know, I know. At the end of the day, it’s not really my cup of tea, but I’m sure I’ll get around to it at some point. Still, I know a hit when I see one, so that’s why Stranger Things 2 had the West Week Ever.

27th Oct2017

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 10/27/17

by Will

Work is killing me right now, so I had to take a week off. As we return to our regularly scheduled program, I thought we’d take a closer look at what I’ve been up to in the world of pop culture.

Two weekends ago, my buddy @classickmateria and I journeyed up to Oaks, PA for Retro Con. I believe this was the 5th year of the show, and I’ve been to four of them. If you’ve never heard of Retro Con, they describe themselves as ” a pop culture and memorabilia show catering to anything considered ‘retro’, especially the 80’s! Transformers, Star Wars, GI Joe, Ghostbusters, He-man, classic video games, etc..”

After attending for 4 years, I have mixed feelings on the show itself. I’ve been to SDCC, so I’m a bit of a con snob. As a convention, it’s a shitty show. It has never really deserved to be a 2-day affair except for the fact that it’s located in the middle of nowhere, so you’ve got to find a way to justify the travel. On the other hand, it’s a great meetup spot for Twitter friends. I see more folks at Retro Con than I see in any other place throughout the year, and this year didn’t disappoint. At some point during the day, I spent time with @RD80s, @LamarRevenger, @Jordamus_Prime, @3BlackGeeks, and @DeeTheBlackGeek. These regional shows are great for putting faces to screennames, so that’s pretty much what I look forward to when I go.

The problem with Retro Con is that it’s not really a convention, but rather a toy show. If you’re wondering what the difference is, it’s that a convention is more of an experience. There are guests, and panels, and a certain sort of ambiance to the venue. A toy show is usually in a place that’s not too fancy, where dealers set up their WWE folding tables and pile them high with dusty old toys. The fact that the venue looks like a really big high school gymnasium, and the WWE tables runneth over, this was a toy show. Sure, they try to have panels and guests, but it’s nothing to really write home about. This year, the marquee guests were Dirk Benedict and Dwight Schultz from The A-Team. Meanwhile, they also had voice actors Rob Paulsen and the dude who played Destro on G.I. Joe. My friends checked out some of the Q&A sessions, but I really preferred to spend my time digging through the nostalgia.

Here’s my haul from the show. With the exception of one item, I didn’t pay more than $5 for anything, so I was pretty proud of myself. Let’s take a closer look at what I got, shall we?

I collect movie-based Marvel Legends…who am I kidding? It started at movie-based, and then I added X-Men, and then I added Spider-Man, and now I basically collect them all. Now, this J. Jonah Jameson isn’t technically a Legend, but he’s the right scale, and he does a little angry dance when you push the lever on his back. So, he had to come home with me. Next up is who I affectionately refer to as “Obama Superman”. Technically, he’s Earth-23 Superman, who’s Black and also happens to be the President of the United States, who happened to debut while Obama was in office. I always kinda wanted this figure, but never wanted to pay retail for him. Little did I realize he would continue to the Black Hero Shrine I was unwittingly constructing that day. Also in this batch is The Rookie from Mattel’s Ghostbusters line. If you’re a toy guy, and haven’t been hiding under a rock, you know that the original 4 Ghostbusters have started popping up at Five Below stores. These things were originally $20 a piece, and now you can buy the team for that price. Still, The Rookie is an interesting character to me because he’s from the video game, and he has gone on to star in the comics. With the exception of Louis and Janine, he’s the only additional Ghostbuster added to the team in over 30 years. To me, he’s a Must Have, so I didn’t mind paying $10 for him complete.

This Nightwing came from a 2 for $5 table. I still don’t know what the catch was, considering this figure still goes for about $30 online. It’s the precursor to Mattel’s DC Universe Classics line, so the articulation is slightly limited. I already have the figure, but I wasn’t about to leave it behind for $2.50, so I snatched him up immediately.

To round out that Nightwing purchase, I HAD to have this doll of Black Space Jesus himself, Commander Benjamin Sisko. I have always loved Deep Space Nine, and my recent rewatch of the show has made me appreciate Sisko so much more than I did in the past. My kids are gonna need some kind of characters in fiction to look to (#RepresentationMatters), so I might create a Black Hero Toy Shrine with him and Obama Superman and Winston from Ghostbusters as a modern-day Black Jesus presentation in the living room.

I always wanted this Alex Ross DC Mythology book, but never felt like dropping $75 on it when it was first out in stores. At $5, though? It wasn’t even a question!

Finally, I really wanted a last minute deal to close the show out on. After all, I swear by the fact that dealers don’t want to take that shit home, so Sunday afternoon is when you can strike the best deals. The show closed at 4, and folks were walking to their cars. Some dealers had already packed up and left hours earlier, but the folks who were there to make money stayed put. Jordan and I did another lap around the floor, and he told me about a Castle Grayskull he’d seen but didn’t have any room for. And the kicker? The guy was going to let him have it for $5! I HAD to have it. We found the dealer, and I thought he’d try to jack up the price on me, but he said he’d offered it to Jordan for $5 so he’d honor that deal for me. SOLD!

I’m not even a Masters of the Universe guy, but I know not to leave behind a 200X Castle Grayskull when it’s only gonna cost me one figure in cash. It needs to be cleaned up a little, and it’s missing some small parts, but the electronics still work and it’s a great display piece. I’ve already got it up on some local sale sites and apps, so hopefully I won’t even own it by the time you read this. What? I ain’t got no room for this thing!

In comic news, something interesting happened to me a few weeks back. You see, I was on Twitter talking smack, as I’m wont to do, about DC’s latest event, Dark Knights: Metal. I’ve been kinda anti-writer Scott Snyder because he blocked me on Twitter a few months back, and I was butthurt about it. I figured he had seen me talking trash about his Batman run at some point and time, and didn’t like what he read.

Anyway, later that night, I get an email from…Scott Snyder. Apparently he had been doing a Twitter search for folks talking about the series, and he had come across my Tweet (odd, seeing as how I’m blocked). He thanked me for taking a chance on the series even though I hadn’t been a fan of his Batman run. Well, I was so taken aback by this that I HAD to write him back. I won’t print the emails ’cause I didn’t ask his permission or anything, but basically I told him how I had been butthurt about the blocking, and that while I wasn’t exactly a “fan” of his run, I had still bought every issue of it. I also took the opportunity to tell him how I felt his Batman “danced between the raindrops of continuity”, so it never felt like he was moving the character forward.

In any case, it was a long, rambling response, but he wrote back and apologized for the block. He said that it had probably been an accident, as he would’ve tried talking to me instead of just outright blocking if he’d read I hadn’t liked his run. He said he’d have to digest the rest later. I never heard from him again, but I’m unblocked! Now to get Amy Schumer to do the same…

In TV news, I am officially retiring from the Heroes & Icons All Star Trek programming block. If you remember, I told you a few months back of how I’d discovered the digital subchannel Heroes & Icons, and how they showed all 5 Star Trek series every night. When I first started, The Next Generation and Voyager were in their 7th and final seasons. After watching their finales, I hung on for the end of Deep Space Nine, as it’s my favorite in the franchise. When that was over, I told myself I’d finish out Enterprise because my friend Brandon swore that it was better than I thought it would be. And he was right.

Sunday night was the airing of “These Are The Voyages…”, which is the series finale of Enterprise. If you’ve never seen it, it’s a HUGE slap in the face to the Enterprise cast and fans, as it’s framed as a holodeck sequence aboard The Next Generation‘s Enterprise-D during that whole Pegasus incident with Riker. So, technically, the Enterprise crew doesn’t even appear in the episode, but rather their holographic representations do. Enterprise‘s producers once said that they wanted to give a love letter to the fans, as they knew it would mark the end of Star Trek‘s continuous 17-year run on television. Over time, however, they’ve even come to realize their hearts might’ve been in the right place, but the execution was not. In the end, Enterprise was a much better series than people claim, and it was never treated well. Hell, it didn’t even get the requisite 2-hour series finale that all the other Trek spinoffs got. Nope, they crammed 4 years’ worth of character development into one hour and a senseless death.

Anyway, I don’t retire out of anger. Not entirely. I retire because I’ve done what I set out to do. I revisited old friends, and gained a new appreciation for new ones. I’ll still check in from time to time, but it’s no longer “destination television” for me, as I accomplished what I wanted to do. When I say it’s not entirely in anger, I refer to the motley crew of fans I met while livetweeting the show. You see, Heroes & Icons set up the #AllStarTrek hashtag to use while tweeting along with the show. While doing so, I was constantly reprimanded by fans who had co-opted the hashtag. “Don’t tweet spoilers!” Um, Deep Space Nine ended TWENTY-SIX YEARS AGO. “Watch the language, as there might be children present.” It’s midnight! Put those little fuckers to bed! While there were a couple of nice people, I just came across a bunch of miserable folks who refer to themselves as “Captain” and other fake ranks I’m sure they don’t hold down at the gas company or wherever the fuck they work in real life. So, no, I won’t miss them. So, thanks for the memories, Heroes & Icons. It was nice to revisit the 24th (and 22nd) centuries for a bit, and I know where to find ya when I need ya. Oh, and new Trek ranking: DS9>TNG>Enterprise>Voyager>TOS. FIGHT ME!

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

  • We got this amazing Star Trek: Deep Space Nine reunion pic. Oh Lord, what happened to Leeta?
  • Netflix’s The Punisher will premiere November 17th – the same day that Justice League hits theaters. Marvel actually did DC a favor, because the only thing that’s gonna make Justice League look like a ray of sunshine is the goddamn Punisher…
  • Speaking of DC, they apparently want Gareth Evans to direct a Deathstroke movie.  Yup, the company that owns Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, and friggin’ Booster Gold, thinks the world is clamoring for a Deathstroke movie.
  • Star Trek: Discovery has been renewed for a second season on CBS All Access. I have to admit I was wrong because I swore a second season wouldn’t end up on that streaming service. That’s still not enough to get me to subscribe.
  • The Han Solo Star Wars movie will be called Solo. It has no “wow factor”, but it works.
  • We basically got our first cancellation of the fall TV season, as ABC’s Ten Days In The Valley will be given a Saturday night burn-off.
  • Ryan Potter of Supah Ninjas/Big Hero 6 fame has been cast as Beast Boy in the live action Titans series
  • Speaking of Big Hero 6, Big Hero 6 The Series will debut November 20th, with a one-hour TV “movie”, Baymax Returns, which will air simultaneously on Disney Channel and Disney XD
  • And speaking of Disney Channel, Andi Mack is a series where a teenage girl finds out her sister is actually her mom. Well, to keep pushing that envelope, the show will feature the coming out of one of her best friends.
  • A Magnum P.I. reboot is being developed at CBS. $20 says they change the character to a Latina in a wheelchair…
  • I thought America got its fill of Jane Lynch from Glee/Celebrity Game Night, but apparently a daytime talk show is being developed for her for Fall 2018. This will be the 21st century’s The Marsha Warfield Show.
  • The Night Shift, which was basically the RC Cola to ER‘s Coke, has been cancelled by NBC after 4 seasons.
  • The former Joan Rivers vehicle, Fashion Police, has been cancelled by E! after 22 years.
  • Somewhere, your great grandfather is really happy that CBS is looking into reviving Name That Tune.
  • Chelsea Handler’s Chelsea has been cancelled at Netflix, yet she’s spinning it as a personal decision so that she can become more educated about politics. OK, Chelsea.
  • The Loud House creator Chris Savino was fired by Nickelodeon after sexual harassment allegations. I kinda hated this show, but it hurt me to the core when the same thing happened to the creator of Clarence. Keep it in your pants, animation dudes!
  • Because America has a short memory, Justin Timberlake will be hosting the halftime show at Super Bowl LII. Of course everyone’s wondering if we’ll get an *NSYNC reunion, but I’m more curious to know if it’ll mark the return of Janet Jackson’s nipple.
  • Zoo was cancelled by CBS after 3 seasons. I’m really amazed it lasted that long.
  • I don’t know anyone who watches it, but Preacher has been renewed for season 3 at AMC
  • There’s a live action Dora the Explorer movie being developed, with Michael Bay producing. Dora will now be a 19 year old whose exotic dancing career takes her around the world.
  • The Goldbergs aired its 100th episode this week. Between besmirching Star Trek, and the fact that Adam basically looks 20 now, I think I’m over that show. It’s kinda like how I dropped Fresh Off the Boat when I remembered that Eddie Huang grows up to be an asshole.
  • Ben “Director Krennic” Mendelsohn is in talks to be the main villain in the Captain Marvel movie. Heh, I just realized it’s probably gonna be called Marvel’s Captain Marvel.
  • Fresh off having all her footage cut out of Justice League, Kiersey Clemons will be joining the cast of TBS’s Angie Tribeca next season.
  • Vincent D’Onofrio will return as Wilson Fisk in Daredevil season 3
  • Bill O’Reilly reportedly paid a $32 million settlement for sexual harassment allegations. Remember, kids – nobody ever dropped that kind of coin for something they didn’t do…
  • Hot off the cancellation of Being Mary Jane, it’s reported that Gabrielle Union will star in a TV spinoff of Bad Boys, reprising her character from the second movie. One day I’ll get around to watching those movies…
  • Sex and the City 3 won’t happen because of Kim Cattral, who admitted the women were never friends, but hopes that the movie will go ahead, with her character recast with a Black or Hispanic actress.

I haven’t really ever been a video game guy. I owned the original Nintendo Entertainment System, and later a Playstation, a Playstation 2, and an XBox 360. But I’d never call myself a “gamer”. Still, I understand that there’s no video game character more revered than Mario. That’s why it’s a big deal whenever a Mario game is released. Well, today saw the release of Super Mario Odyssey, and the review this game is getting are incredible. I don’t own a Nintendo Switch, but now I kinda want one. I love a good Mario game, and it seems like this might be one of the best. I haven’t been online as much lately, but whenever I’ve popped on, I’ve just seen folks overhyped for this game. Sure, Stranger Things season 2 comes out today, but I think this weekend will belong to Mario. It might be a bit early to tell, but I think Super Mario Odyssey is going to have the West Week Ever.

28th Jul2017

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 7/28/17

by Will

One of the best discoveries I’ve made has been the digital subchannel Heroes & Icons. If you’re a cord cutter, then get yourself an antenna and check this thing out. My favorite aspect of it, however, is the fact that it runs a 5-hour Star Trek block six nights a week. Star Trek at 8, Star Trek: The Next Generation at 9, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine at 10, Star Trek: Voyager at 11, and Enterprise at 12. Sunday through Friday. And on Sundays they actually kick things off with Star Trek: The Animated Series at 7. I’ve pretty much watched nothing but Star Trek for the past 2 weeks. I’ve been reacquainted with favorite episodes, like TNG‘s “Chain of Command” and DS9‘s “Far Beyond the Stars”. I’ve discovered some hidden gems, like TOS‘s ” The Cloud Minders”. I’ve even discovered that I don’t hate Voyager or Enterprise as much as I thought I did.

I don’t talk about this too much, but the first 12 years or so of my life were comprised of pretty much NOTHING but Star Trek. From 1987-94, my favorite show on television was The Next Generation. When DS9 debuted, I expected it to continue my love affair, but it felt too preachy with its Space Holocaust allegory. It was in the later seasons, once the Dominion War began, that it actually ensconced itself as my favorite iteration of the franchise. By the time Voyager debuted, I had discovered comics, and they became my new mistress. While I watched about 4 hours of TNG a day in high school (Channel 20 REALLY loved playing TNG), my heart didn’t have room in it for a new Trek, so I “No time for love, Dr. Jones”‘ed Captain Janeway and her crew. Enterprise debuted when I was in college, and  I was simply too busy worried about other shit to watch Captain Quantum Leap and his crew. Plus, due to some kind of contractual fallout, Ithaca didn’t get UPN. So, since the finale of DS9, my Trekkerdom lay dormant.

But when I say “I’ve forgotten more than you’ll ever know”, that’s primarily about Star Trek. I had several editions of the Star Trek Encyclopedia, I had the Technical Manual, the Technical Journal, the Star Trek Chronology. All of it. I’ve got the figures, and the role play toys. I even created my own uniform for Halloween back in the 90s. I was all Trek, 24/7, and you couldn’t tell me shit. Over time, though, that trivia got overwritten by X-Men 1st appearance notations and the names of TNBC actresses. What I’m saying, though, is that Heroes & Icons brought it all rushing back. It’s like I’m 15 again, blowing the evening watching Star Trek episodes I’ve already seen hundreds of times already. It’s also given me new perspectives on things that completely went over my head when I was younger. For example, Sisko is the Bajorans’ Space Jesus, and that’s pretty heavy. Even he doesn’t believe it, but in the end, yup it turns out he’s Space Jesus. I’ve also got thoughts on the current state of the franchise, too.

At SDCC, we got the above trailer for Star Trek: Discovery, which will air in North America on CBS All Access (yes, Dean, I know you’ll say All Anal Access because it sucks that we have to subscribe to another service just to watch this thing). I had no interest in this show because everything I heard about it didn’t sound like Star Trek. Now, though, the more they try to sell it as a bunch of new ideas, the more it just sounds like DS9. It’s gonna be Trek with interpersonal conflict. Great. I can get down with that. Its aesthetic seems more like late-era Stargate than Trek, though – especially those Klingon designs. There are certain things, though, that still feel like they miss the mark.

Take for example the fact that the show will feature the first same-sex couple on a Star Trek series, played by Rent‘s Anthony Rapp and My So Called Life‘s Wilson Cruz. Yeah, I get that representation is important, but it bothers me that this is being done in a prequel series, set before the events of the original Star Trek. With the exception of Enterprise, this is the series that takes place the closest to our timeline, so it’s really not much of a leap to think that same-sex couples exist. Ya know what would’ve meant more to me (as a straight, cis male who really doesn’t have a dog in the race but is still opinionated)? If the show had actually been a post-Dominion War, sequel series to TNG/DS9/Voyager, and it featured a same-sex couple. Science fiction tends to go 2 ways: it’s either dystopian or it’s about HOPE. As it stands, from what we’ve seen, same-sex couples are pretty much nonexistent in the 24th century. Yeah, I’m sure they exist, but we never saw them. It seems like it would be a testament to how enduring they are to see them that far in the future as opposed to just a couple of hundred years from now, when Discovery is set.

I could also be politicizing this for my own agenda, as I really want to know what happened after the war ended. Sure, there are books and stuff, but those things aren’t canon. I feel there are so many stories to tell from that era, and I’d love to see the franchise move forward instead of dance between the raindrops of continuity in the past. It feels like they’re stalling, which is how it felt with Enterprise and even the Kelvin movies. Someone, somewhere out there has got to have a great idea as to how to move the franchise forward and I hope CBS/Paramount finds them sooner rather than later.

SDCC Bullet Points

The bulk of San Diego Comic Con took place over the weekend, and here’s some stuff that debuted:

  • Michelle Pfeiffer is Hank Pym’s lost wife, Janet Van Dyne, in Ant-Man and The Wasp
  • The Captain Marvel film will be set in the 90s, and introduce the Skrulls to the MCU. Oh, and Nick Fury will have 2 eyes

  • We got this trailer for Ready Player One, which was hella polarizing. It seems a lot of folks hated the book on which it’s based. If you ask me, it just looks like a cinematic version of this commercial:

  • Comic creator Frank Miller, of 300 and Sin City fame, is writing a Superman: Year One story with art from John Romita Jr. Nothing about that sentence makes me want to open my wallet.

  • We got a new trailer for X-Men spinoff, The Gifted. I’m actually surprised they used established mutants like Polaris and Thunderbird. And is that actually Fenris?! I want to like this, but it just looks so…Fox.

  • We got a new trailer for The Defenders on Netflix. I get that this is the culmination of all the Marvel Netflix shows, but it didn’t do much for me since I’ve only seen 2 out of 5 seasons so far. There’s no way I’ll get caught up by this premiere date, but I’m sure it’ll mean more to me once I’m up to date. Kinda tired of the hallway fight trope, though.

  • Legends of Tomorrow is such a fun show. It started kinda dry, but got so much better last year. It reminds me of a syndicated Saturday afternoon show, but in a good way.

  • This Justice League trailer did very little for me. It’s like, sure, Wonder Woman’s cool, but we JUST saw her. Aquaman seems cool, but he’s not really “Aquaman”. I’ll see it, but I ain’t looking forward to it. No, for me, November belongs to:

  • An elementary school friend and her husband did a Saga cosplay and KILLED IT!

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

  • We’ll have to wait a bit longer for our annual dose of Abbi and Ilana, as Comedy Central has moved the Broad City season 4 premiere from August 23rd to September 13th
  • A few months ago, it was reported that Amy Schumer would be starring in a Barbie movie. Well, I made fun of that, she blocked me on Twitter, and then eventually dropped out of the role. Now they’re reporting that Anne Hathaway is up for the role, which is somehow more bewildering than the Schumer choice…
  • Justin Bieber cancelled the rest of his Purpose world tour because he was “committing his life to Christ”. This pissed off his crew, as they were left without jobs. He, then, proceeded to run over a paparazzo with his truck while leaving church. I swear, you can’t make this shit up!
  • Amazon’s Jeff Bezos has replaced Bill Gates as the richest man in the world.
  • Beginning September 29th, Hulu will begin streaming the Warner Bros shows that comprised ABC’s TGIF lineup, including Perfect Strangers, Family Matters, Full House, Hangin’ With Mr. Cooper, and Step By Step. Meanwhile, Netflix is feverishly developing Perfecter Strangers, Family Still Matters, Chillin’ With Mr. Cooper, and Step By Step By Step.
  • I haven’t seen a non-country music video in years, but apparently they still make them, as Katy Perry will host the 2017 MTV Video Music Awards
  • Speaking of the VMAs, following the lead of the MTV Movie Awards, they’re doing away with the gendered categories Best Male/Best Female Artist, to be replaced by Artist of the Year. Also, in a bit of pandering,  they’ve created the Best Fight Against the System, for those artists who have called for folks to #RESIST and all that.
  • Though I felt its farcical nature wore a bit thin during its first season, TBS’s Angie Tribeca has been renewed for season 4.
  • Smallville‘s Tom Welling is joining Fox’s Lucifer and *yawn* that’s really all there is to say about that.
  • Netflix has ordered 20 episodes of the animated series Disenchantment from The Simpsons creator Matt Groening. It will features the voices of Nat Faxon, Eric Andre, and Abbi Jacobson. Apparently it’s about elves and trolls and shit. Not really my bag, baby.
  • Person of Interest‘s Michael Emerson has been cast in a mysterious role for Arrow‘s 6th season. So, he’s probably Deathstroke’s accountant or something.
  • Because SyFy just doesn’t care anymore, and because they need something to air between Sharknados, Wynonna Earp has been renewed for a 3rd season.
  • The Wonder Woman sequel has a release date of December 13th, 2019
  • Apple discontinued the iPod Nano and Shuffle models, as they are the last remaining models that cannot run iOS apps.
  • Current Superman Henry Cavill grew a mustache for his role in Mission Impossible 37: Mission Harder, which will have to be digitally removed for Justice League reshoots. Ya know, the movie where he’s supposed to be dead, but is actually the worst kept secret in Hollywood.
  • Lionel Richie and Charlie Puth are in talks to join ABC’s American Idol reboot as judges. Yeah, that’s funny. Unless they’re coaching the contestants on how to get caught cheating while dancing on the ceiling, I’m not sure what Richie’s old ass brings to the table. And Puth is simply too new to be judging anybody.
  • New James Bond film in 2019. Nobody knows who’s playing him or directing the thing, but it’s coming. Yesiree, Bob!
  • Since they’re handing out cinematic universes like chicken samples at a food court, the John Wick universe will be expanded by the female-focused film, Ballerina.
  • Michael Phelps raced a CGI shark and people felt betrayed. He’s the friggin’ son of Poseidon! He can’t race ACTUAL sharks! There would be civil unrest beneath the surface!

With DC being the political capital of the country, it’s hard for a news person to stand out because the place is crawling with them. That wasn’t true, however, for Jim Vance. Everyone knew him and the man was an institution. Coming to NBC4 in 1969, he was one of the first Black anchors in a major news market. He anchored for over 4 decades, ingraining himself into the families of those who watched him.

When I was a toddler, I was really into the local news (I’ve always said I’m regressing as I get older), and I could name every anchor on every local newscast. And this was a golden age of DC news. You had the great Glenn Brenner, you had Maury Povich before he became a talk show host, and you had Vance. There was something about him that made him seem like your aunt’s cool boyfriend. He was an old man with a hoop earring. We used to laugh about it, but secretly I was hating because I knew I’d never be able to pull that off at his age. He rode motorcycles and laughed inappropriately at news stories he found funny. He was a guy who made you glad to watch the news, especially as the cries of Fake News! grew louder.

Back in May, Vance announced that he had been diagnosed with cancer, and it advanced rather quickly. He passed away last Saturday morning, and the announcement touched all corners of the DC area (no, I’m not calling it the DMV!). It was touching to see all of the tributes to him on the local stations, from those who were colleagues and competitors. Last Saturday night, News4 spent the entire 11 PM news talking about Vance and what he meant to DC. This might sound crazy, but it was so refreshing to watch the news without a single drop of actual news being reported. No Trump b.s., no local murders, not even a weather report. Just 30 minutes about a man who we basically grew up with in our homes. I always kinda took him for granted because you just expected he would be there every evening, but I’ve certainly missed him since he’s gone. I know he won’t mean much to those of you outside the DC viewing area, but believe me when I say that everybody here knew who Jim Vance was, and we’re all going to miss him in one way or another. For that reason, Jim Vance had the West Life Ever.

 

21st Jul2017

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 7/21/17

by Will

I haven’t been doing such a great job with my movie tally for 2017. We’re more than halfway through the year, and I’ve barely watched anything. Well, I kinda made up for that last weekend, as I caught Keeping Up With The Joneses on HBO. This is one of those movies that came and went, and might find a fan base on TV, but will probably just be forgotten. If it should be remembered for anything, it’s that it features both Gal Gadot and Isla Fisher in lingerie. That’s about all it’s got going for it. What’s it about? Well, Isla Fisher and Zack Galifianakis star as a milquetoast suburbanite couple who become suspicious of their new neighbors, Jon Hamm and Gal Gadot. So, they’re pushed out of their comfort zone when they find out Hamm and Gadot are spies, and they get wrapped up in their latest mission. This is the kind of movie I would’ve killed a chunk of a Saturday afternoon on had it aired on Fox 5, but I can understand why nobody went to see it in theaters. Folks loved Don Draper, but for whatever reason, they have no desire to help along Jon Hamm’s movie career. And this was pre-Wonder Woman Gadot, so there was no heat on her yet. It doesn’t suck, but it’s got no Wow Factor either. Once it hits FX, it might be a good way to waste away a rainy Sunday afternoon.

I finally got around to watching The Nice Guys, too. I’d tried a few months ago, but I only got as far as the Ryan Gosling fully clothed in the bathtub scene, where I went, “What the eff am I watching?” I wasn’t ready for the absurd that night, but I was ready now. Like everyone had told me, it was really good. I still have trouble with heist/mystery films because my brain doesn’t work as fast as the film, so sometimes I have to reflect back on the thing when it’s over just to make sure I didn’t miss anything. Ryan Gosling is a private investigator who teams up with local tough guy Russell Crowe to track down a missing girl. Sure, there’s some stuff about porn, and the Detroit auto lobby, but that’s the gist of the movie. It’s got a precocious kid, a cool 70s aesthetic, and titties. Can’t really hate on any of that. Anyway, I could see this as one of those movies I drop everything to watch whenever I see that it’s on. If you haven’t seen it, definitely check it out.

My new favorite reality show debuted this week on Bravo, called A Night With My Ex. It’s just what the title says: a former couple spends the night together to see if the spark is still there and/or to reopen old wounds. In the premiere, 28 year old virgin Rachel is reunited to smarmy douchebag ex-boyfriend Fabian. They dated for four years, but he cheated on her with a sexy Tinkerbell at a Halloween party because he had a major case of blue balls. When the show starts, you don’t think Fabian is really that bad of a guy. He knows he made a mistake, and he even plans to propose to Rachel because he wants her in his life forever. But things go south quickly. He chastises her for scraping her plate with her fork as she eats, and he tries to make her give him a handjob once they’re in bed. All the while, she’s trying to actually apologize for basically pushing him to cheat by withholding sex, but he never lets her get a word out before saying/doing something stupid. Finally she declares that she deserves better than him, and basically laughs in his face when he proposes. That was some damn good television! If anything, I’d say the show is too short at 30 minutes, but they only spend one night together, and not the whole weekend, so I guess that’s all they could edit together. It’s a lot like MTV’s old show, The X Effect, only the couple’s current partners aren’t spying on the date like they were in that show. Anyway, it’s only been one episode, but I count me in for the next nine!

In TV news, it was announced that Game of Thrones showrunners David Benioff and D.B. Weiss have lined up their post-GoT project, Confederate, which is an alternate history series set prior to the United States’ 3rd Civil War. Well, this rang some alarm bells for some folks, as you can’t really get into the Confederacy and Civil War without dealing with slavery. And folks weren’t really happy about these White showrunners making what some considered to be “slavery fanfic”. What hasn’t been covered extensively, though, is that the project is really just coasting on the fact that the GoT showrunners are attached, but they’re not the only ones involved. Husband-wife team of Malcolm Spellman and Nichelle Tramble Spellman , who are Black, will be partners on the show along with Benioff and Weiss. Plus, the show it’s so deep in its infancy that there aren’t even character names or an outline yet. It was originally developed as a two-hour movie, but they decided it could be fleshed out and taken to television. There’s basically nothing on paper for it yet, though, so there’s not much for folks to be upset about at this stage other than mere speculation. The Spellmans acknowledge the criticism, but say that they’d rather it had followed the premiere of the show instead of starting now, as it’s being announced. At this point, I think it’s safe to say that this criticism will go into shaping the show going forward, so we may never get what they originally intended to put out.

We got a new trailer for Marvel’s Inhumans. Still looks like garbage. I’ve loved Iwan Rheon since Misfits, but I can’t follow him here. This just looks so bad. Look, I’m gonna watch it, but I really don’t see how there’s any damn way I’m paying for an IMAX ticket to see it in theaters.


We also got a new teaser for The Defenders, which teases the Punisher series at the end. People are going nuts online about this thing because it’s narrated by Stan Lee, but I actually think he’s tonally wrong for this clip. When I think of Stan, I think of his marquee, larger than life characters – NOT the street-level vigilantes. I almost feel like it would’ve been better narrated by Bendis or Brubaker, but they don’t have the recognition factor that Stan has. I get that. Still, it just feels like a hollow waste of a cameo.

 Things You Might Have Missed This Week
  • The good Lord answered my prayers, as Chris Hardwick and Comedy Central have “mutually decided” to end @midnight. I won’t miss his smarmy face or those stupid hashtag games.
  • I guess the third time’s the charm, as Paige Davis will start her 3rd hosting stint on Trading Spaces when it returns to TLC later this year
  • Ed Sheeran was on Game of Thrones this week, and I guess some folks didn’t like that. I dunno. I kinda couldn’t care less about Sheeran or GoT, but folks were hatin’!
  • Meanwhile, it was reported that Lena Dunham will join American Horror Story for season 7, and folks lost their shit about that, too. Apparently she’ll only be in one episode, but that was enough for some folks to claim they weren’t gonna watch anymore.
  • Transformers: Titans Return will debut in November as an animated micro series on the Go90 app, featuring the voices of Green Ranger Jason David Frank and the original Rodimus Prime himself, Judd Nelson.
  • MTV is in talks to reboot Teen Wolf before this iteration’s final season has even concluded. Slow it down!
  • Sega broke up with Archie Comics over Twitter, thereby ending the Sonic The Hedgehog comic after 24 years of publication
  • Seacrest IN! Ryan Seacrest has officially signed on to host ABC’s revival of American Idol. I feel like I’ve written this sentence 3 times in the past already, but now it’s for real for real.
  • Coming as no real surprise since The Vampire Diaries ended, The CW announced that its spinoff, The Originals, will end after its upcoming season.
  • In an odd choice, the directors of the original Catfish documentary (the movie, not the show) are in talks talks to helm a Mega Man film that will be produced by Masi Oka of Heroes fame.
  • Words with Friends is being developed into a television game show. Ya know, so it’s basically the Scrabble game show being rebooted.
  • Meanwhile on Black Twitter, R. Kelly is allegedly running a sex cult, Usher paid a woman $1.1 million for her to keep quiet about the fact that he gave her herpes, and Kevin Hart allegedly got caught cheating on his pregnant wife. I’m just waiting for some crazy Steve Harvey news to round out the week.
  • At San Diego Comic Con, MGM announced Stargate Origins, which appears to be a prequel webseries that will run on the Stargate Command website this fall.
  • Shazam! will be the next DC film to go into production, following Justice League and Aquaman, but it’s unclear if Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson will co-star as Black Adam.
  • There might soon be a new Cutco salesman on the block, as OJ Simpson has been granted parole from the armed robbery that landed him in prison nine years ago. The Juice is almost loose!

I love those weeks when the West Week Ever recipient presents itself early in the week, ’cause it’s pretty much smooth sailing after that. This was one of those weeks, as history was made across the pond. The Doctor Who franchise is over 50 years old, but every time the Doctor regenerates (a clever in-story mechanism for recasting the actor), he just turns into another White dude. That’s pretty much been the unending pattern since 1966, when the first regeneration occurred. Folks have been saying it’s time for a change, and they were hoping we’d either end up with a Doctor of color (with The IT Crowd‘s Richard Ayoade coming up in a lot of the discussions) or a woman Doctor. Well, half of them got their wish, as Attack the Block‘s Jodie Whittaker was announced as the 13th Doctor. And, as you’re probably not surprised, folks lost their shit.

We’re always taught the the Brits are so proper and upstanding, but the comments sections of several sites proved that they can troll with the best of them. At the end of the day, it’s a bunch of folks who are afraid of change. A friend of mine, however, did point out that the victors in these circumstances also tend to trigger the backlash against themselves. For example, it would be one thing if this was seen as a bold move forward for a progressive franchise. The problem, however, is that some people take it too far, and get on the “I’m savoring these fanboy tears” soapbox, making it about something that it really didn’t need to devolve into. Sometimes the winners can suck just as much as the losers in these scenarios. This can be seen as a “win” for some without it being a “loss” for someone else. How about framing it as a win for everyone? Nah, the internet doesn’t really work like that.

I have never gotten into the Doctor Who franchise because it just seems so daunting. Sure, folks claim you really only have to start with the Eccleston season, but when I get into something, I go ALL IN. To me, that’s like telling someone they can start Star Trek with The Next Generation (which I’d probably do, since I hate The Original Series, even though I’d still feel like I was cheating them out of an experience). I feel like I’d have to watch all 54 years of the show, which is impossible because those seasons ain’t streaming anywhere, and a good chunk of them have been lost to time. It’s a franchise that cannot be wholly consumed! I hate mysteries that can’t be solved. Still, I can respect a longstanding institution, and I understand when change is a big deal. It’ll be interesting to see how fans take to the new Doctor, but the one thing to remember is that she’ll probably do it for 2 years, and then regenerate into another old White guy (the Doctor role has the retention rate of a community college). So, everyone gets their wish! I am kinda curious about the next season, though, as rumor has it Kris Marshall (Colin: God of Sex from Love Actually) is going to be the Doctor’s next companion. I loved that dude!

Anyway, I know which side of history I want to be on, and it’ll be interesting to see this all play out. The way the franchise works, we won’t see her until the Christmas special, and then won’t see her again until late 2018 at the earliest. So, folks have got some time to get used to the idea. Still, I think it goes without saying that Jodie Whittaker had the West Week Ever.

09th Jun2017

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 6/9/17

by Will

 

In an interesting shake-up over at CBS, Erinn Hayes has been let go from her role as wife to Kevin James in Kevin Can Wait. They say that the show is going in a new direction, which necessitated the firing. But here’s where it gets interesting. Leah Remini, who played James’s wife on King of Queens, popped up in the season finale as James’ former cop partner. Well, just before announcing Hayes’s departure, CBS announced that Remini would be joining the show next season as a series regular. Now, if you’ve never seen Kevin Can Wait, Kevin James plays a former NYC cop who tries to figure out how to adjust to his recent retirement. Based on the season finale, though, it seems like James’s character might be coming out of retirement. It’s just a strange move, seeing as how the show ended the season as the #1 new comedy on network TV – hardly a situation that necessitated a retooling of the show. Part of what critics praised was Hayes’s portrayal of James’s wife of 20 years. How do you just gloss over that relationship? I mean, they’ve gotta kill her off, but unless you do a time jump, you’ve gotta slog through all the grief stuff, which doesn’t lend itself well to a multicam comedy. And if they’re gonna fast track a relationship between James and Remini, will the audience accept it? It really feels like they blew a sure thing and, if they wanted to recreate The King of Queens, thy should’ve just revived The King of Queens! I’ve said that online since Kevin was announced!

Speaking of Remini, I’m starting to think she’s a Scientology double agent. Bear with me here: Scientology is a well-connected organization in Hollywood that allegedly has the power to ruin your career with the information that they have on their members. If you ever leave the church, you’re pretty much done. Just look at the list of former Scientologists. On that list, Remini and Jeffrey Tambor are the one ones who even have a semblance of a steady career right now, and Tambor kinda skirted the issue by saying he never really joined the church. Remini, however, joined up as a child, and was a HUGE booster of the church. Then, in 2013, she turned on the church – not for its negative views on homosexuality (which is why Crash director Paul Haggis left) or its alleged illegal activities. No, she left because she got her feelings hurt after leadership clapped back at her. At Tom Cruise’s wedding to Katie Holmes, Remini asked why church leader David Miscavige’s wife wasn’t in attendance, and they basically told her she didn’t have clearance for that info (formal speak for “Nunyo Biznazz”). She didn’t trust that answer, and went further to file a missing persons report on Mrs. Miscavige. Then, she made it her mission to publicly discredit Miscavige, criticizing his leadership, citing reports of abuse in the Sea Org, and more. She went straight to the TOP with her blame game, yet NOTHING has happened to her. In fact, it’s probably rejuvenated her career. She got a successful show on A&E called Leah Remini: Scientology and the Aftermath, where she’s basically telling all their secrets. When the show debuted, the church issued a statement attacking her. Yet, she’s working more now than she was before. So, there’s two things happening here: either Scientology isn’t as powerful and litigious as we’ve been led to believe OR they’re in on it. It’s yin and yang. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. While Scientology has its critics, it never really had an enemy before. Why not create one where they could control the narrative? It’s like learning that Captain America has secretly been Hydra the whole time. Long story short, I’m not entirely convinced she’s left the church, especially over something as trivial as what’s reported to have started the whole thing. And she’s laughing all the way to the bank.

In other TV news, Tia and Tamera Mowry (yeah, they got married and have new hyphenated last names, but I ain’t got time for all that) are trying to get a Sister, Sister revival off the ground. And I don’t know anyone who wants this. If you were cool back in the 90s you probably never watched Sister, Sister, where a set of adopted twins didn’t realize they were twins until a chance meeting in a department store, a la The Parent Trap. Then they all move in together. It was the definition of “mediocre”, yet once ABC canceled it, it gained a new life over on The WB. The most memorable thing about it was that Marques “Batman” Houston, of the R&B group Immature/IMx, played their annoying neighbor Roger (kinda like a watered down Steve Urkel), and they’d constantly yell “Go home, Roger!” at him. Other than that, it was just a bunch of zany, mistaken identity twin shit – stuff that I’d hope adult Tia and Tamera had outgrown by now. What’s the story to tell? They both get divorced, and move in together with their kids? Sorry, Kate & Allie, Getting By, and the upcoming Raven’s Home have already covered that old chestnut. Are they single in the city, doing the same twin shit? Not interested. I don’t have a lot of faith in this one getting picked up, though, because they’re far behind where they need to be. Right now, they say they’re looking for a show runner to guide the project, but then they’d have to find a network. Sister, Sister was NO Full House, so I doubt Netflix would be interested. If anything, the only place I’d put it right now would probably be Freeform, even though the twins are slightly older than the target demo of that channel. Let this just be a lesson that not everything needs to be revived.

In other television news, DC’s Legends of Tomorrow has cast Tala Ashe as Muslim “hacktivist” Zari Adrianna Tomaz for season 3. She’s a computer whiz from 2030, so basically the team’s got their own Oracle/Felicity now – not that they really need it, with Gideon and all. Anyway, in comics Tomaz is actually an Egyptian who uses the Amulet of Isis to transform into the hero Isis. Before the New 52 reboot of the DC Universe, Isis was an important character in the weekly series 52, as she was in a relationship with Black Adam, and her brother, Osiris, was eaten by Sobek. Oh, and she had a cheesy TV show in the 70s. None of that’s gonna be in the Legends, I’m sure. Given the current political climate, and how loaded the name “Isis” is right now, I doubt they’ll actually ever call her that onscreen, either.

Song of the Week

Today I give you “Vampires”, by The Midnight. My pal and thrifting partner, “Special Forces”, and I decided that this is the official theme song for Thrift Justice should it ever become a real show. Synthwave AND saxophone?! I wanna direct Skinemax movies just so I can score them with this entire album. So sexy. Right now, Thrift Justice is a USA drama circa 1990, and I ain’t got no problems with that!

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

  • Modern Family‘s Sarah Hyland will guest star on Freeform’s Shadowhunters, which kinda sounds like a step back
  • Speaking of Freeform, they’ve ordered a pilot for an American adaptation of UK hit Misfits. The network is a good home for something like this, but I’m still pissed over the American adaptation of Skins, so…
  • Rudy Huxtable herself, Keshia Knight Pulliam, escorted TV dad Bill Cosby to the first day of his rape trial. Whatever. Call me when Lisa Bonet shows up.
  • In next level pettiness, Taylor Swift put her entire catalog back on Spotify at midnight – at the very moment Katy Perry released her album “Witness”
  • According to Dan Aykroyd, Paul Feig blew his chance at a Ghostbusters sequel because he overran his budget on unnecessary reshoots. Sony refuted the figures Aykroyd presented, saying the estimates were off by about NINETY percent. Woo!
  • Jennifer Connelly will join Daveed Diggs in TNT’s Snowpiercer pilot, playing the person who makes the daily announcements on the train. Exciting!
  • Tom Cruise revealed that the title of the Top Gun sequel will be Top Gun: Maverick. I wonder if John McCain has any feelings about that. Coherent feelings, not ramblings about the Diamondbacks…
  • Speaking of Cruise, his The Mummy reboot opens today, and reviewers have called it “the worst Tom Cruise movie ever”. Wow.
  • Singer/actress/sister of Ray J Brandy was found unconscious on a Delta flight, and the doctor who came to her rescue was reportedly Kim Kardashian’s uncle! Considering Ray J put that family on the map, I figure it’s time the Kardashians did something to return the favor.
  • Gotham stars Morena Baccarin and Ben McKenzie got married. Knowing that show, it’ll probably revealed that they’re Bruce’s real parents or some shit. It’s not like it pays attention to any of the rest of the lore, so why not?
  • Fox canceled 24 Legacy after a low-rated single season, but they’re still committed to the 24 brand. They’re reportedly developing an anthology series to take the show back to its real-time roots
  • Like Peter denied Jesus, Jerry Seinfeld denied THREE requests for a hug from Kesha. I don’t blame him!
  • In one of the strangest deals I’ve ever heard of, Epix has inked a deal to stream its content directly to 2018 Honda Odyssey  minivans
  • Sony will begin selling clean versions of some of their hit movies. If you’ve ever accidentally bought a clean version of an album from Walmart, you can see why this decision might anger some folks
  • Hank Williams Jr is back singing the opening to Monday Night Football for the first time since 2011. I guess all his rowdy friends will be over after they finish burning a few more crosses…
  • George and Amal Clooney welcomed twins Ella and Alexander
  • Former Power Rangers director/producer/fight coordinator Koichi Sakamoto will direct the upcoming Ultraman Geed series, focusing on the son of the evil Ultraman Belial. Yeah, those words mean something to someone out there.
  • Newcomer Blu Hunt has been cast as Danielle Moonstar in the upcoming New Mutants spinoff of the X-Men films.
  • A live action adaptation of Cowboy Bebop is being developed, and my heart weeps. As one of the few anime series I’ve watched, and loved, I kinda hope this dies in development hell
  • Hackers released 8 stolen episodes of ABC’s upcoming game show, Funderdome, and nobody cared.
  • Donald Glover will be retiring her Childish Gambino hip hop persona after his next album.

  • We got our first poster for the Black Panther film.

Last week I gave my opinions and feelings on the movie. This week, I’m just gonna stick to the facts:

  • 92% on Rotten Tomatoes
  • $103 million opening weekend domestic box office
  • $220 million opening weekend global box office
  • Third highest opening for a DC film
  • Most successful female-directed film
  • Mot expensive female-directed film, with a budget of $150 million
  • Most tweeted about movie of 2017, with 2.19 million tweets
  • Won Best In Show and Best Fantasy/Adventure at the Golden Trailer Awards
  • Last Saturday, Wonder Woman Day was celebrated at comic shops around the world

You’ve seen it by now, right? RIGHT?! Then, what are you waiting for? For these reasons, and more, Wonder Woman once again had the West Week Ever.

14th Apr2017

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 4/14/17

by Will

I was going to skip this week, with it being a holiday weekend and all, but then I realized that this would be the last post written from the WilliamBruceWest.com HQ of the past 6 years. So, simply to commemorate that, you get a quick post.

I didn’t watch any movies this week (dumb, since I need to clear off a 90% full DVR by Tuesday), but I did catch the HBO stand-up special Pete Holmes: Faces and Sounds. Holmes has recently become one of my favorites, as I’ve really been digging his HBO comedy Crashing, which seems to be loosely based on the early days of his stand-up career. He’s at a point now in his career where he seems to be a lot more comfortable onstage. And he cusses a lot more. Something about him reminds me of a modern-day John Ritter – it’s not the physical comedy, but it’s written all over his face. He genuinely just comes off like a good guy that you could have around your mom. I think that’s part of his appeal. Anyway, it’s a pretty good hour, so check it out if you’re looking for a new stand-up special to watch.

In movie news, Jonah Hex/Thanos will now be adding Cable to his resume. In a surprise casting move, Josh Brolin has been cast as the time-traveling hero in the Deadpool sequel. This, supposedly, won’t affect filming of Avengers: Infinity War because most of his work on that movie will be motion capture. Still, it’s odd to see another comic book movie actor jump across the studio aisle. We’ve seen two actors jump from Fox to the MCU (Chris Evans and Michael B. Jordan), but you never see them go the opposite direction. I guess he’ll do OK, but I was hoping for someone like Ron Perlman or Stephen Lang. Personally, I’d be more impressed if they’d cast his father, James Brolin.

I didn’t catch the Rick & Morty 3rd season premiere when it was posted online on April Fools Day, but luckily Adult Swim aired it every night last week. It was so good to have the show back, even though I’m not entirely sure I know what was going on. As some folks have said, I really wouldn’t be surprised if it turned out that was justa “bonus”episode, and not the actual premiere. If it was real, it definitely set up an interesting new family dynamic. Of course all anyone can talk about, however, is the McDonald’s Mulan Sauce. Apparently, back when Mulan came out, McDonald’s had a special Szechuan sauce for their McNuggets. It was only for a limited time, as those things are wont to be, but now it’s been thrust back into the spotlight thanks to the episode. Fans of the show are trying to get McDonald’s to bring the sauce back, to coincide with the release of the upcoming live action Mulan film (despite the fact that Disney ended their relationship with McDonald’s a few years ago in an attempt to disassociate themselves with unhealthy eating). Already, though, I’ve seen some thinkpieces about how the sauce is cultural appropriation and all that so, basically, welcome to 2017.

In comics news, the X-Men were the source of controversy this week after the artist on X-Men Gold, Ardian Syaf, snuck some incendiary references into the background of his art in the first issue of the book. I don’t have a religious studies degree, so I can’t really get into the minutiae. Basically, though, he slipped in some references to the Qua’ran that are anti-Christian and anti-Jewish. Sure, he can have his beliefs and all, but you don’t sneak that stuff into a corporate comic book. Marvel said that he was going to be disciplined, and later in the week he was fired from the book. Syaf immediately went online and basically said “My career is over”. I kinda wanted to feel bad for him ‘cause he almost seemed suicidal, and I wasn’t sure he initially understood the magnitude of what he had done. In follow up interviews, however, he didn’t really seem to back down. As controversial as he might be right now, it’ll be a major PR opportunity when some publisher, like Dynamite Entertainment, eventually gives him work again.

On the music front, it’s no secret that I’m a huge boyband guy. That said, I never really got into One Direction. It’s not that I was old when they came out, but more of a case where they didn’t have any Max Martin songs. Coming from the late 90s/early 00s era, I feel like you HAVE to have Max Martin songs in order to have hits. I mean, they still had their share of earworms, like “That’s What Makes You Beautiful”, but I never glommed onto them that much. So, when they broke up to pursue solo careers, I wasn’t expecting much – which is why I was surprised to find that I really like “The Sign of the Times”, which is the debut single from Harry Styles. I had the thing looped all day last Friday and, while I’m not sure if it’s a “hit”, I’m really digging what’s going on here. I wonder how the 1D fans are gonna take it. I mean, they’ll eat it up because they love Harry, but it’s not like the 1D songs that they’re used to. You’d expect him to bust out of the gate with something bombastic, but instead he went with something chill and melodic. Anyway, I’m looking forward to hearing the rest of the album when it hits on May 12th.

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

  • Grace and Frankie has been renewed by Netflix for a 4th season. And I think my wife is the only person I know who’s happy about that. Anyway, Lisa Kudrow is joining the cast.
  • Jude Law has been cast as young Dumbledore in the Fantastic Beasts sequel
  • There’s a Fear Factor reboot coming to MTV, which will be hosted by Ludacris

    • We got a new Justice League poster. Um, OK. I don’t want to hate the DCEU but they make it so easy
    • The Get Down’s Shameik Moore has been tapped to voice Miles Morales in the upcoming animated Spider-Man film
    • John Ridley produced Guerrilla, a miniseries about the Black Power movement, and included basically no Black women in it. Good luck with that, my dude.
    • TLC are back. Well, T and C; you’d need a necromancer to get L back. Anyway, the single “Way Back” debuted on radio this week. It’s nothing special, really.
    • Sam Elliott has signed on to star in The Man Who Killed Hitler and Then The Bigfoot, which is a Must See based on the title alone

    • This looks fun. Not “see it in a theater” fun, but fun nonetheless.
    • This Fall, NBC’s Dateline will become a weekday syndicated true crime series, which will probably end up replacing former correspondent Chris Hansen’s Crime Watch Daily. Coldblooded!


Thor: Ragnarok’s teaser trailer hit this week and it was amazing. Now, keep in mind that the Thor movies are lower on the MCU scale, so it’s not like it had to do much heavy lifting to blow our minds. We’re at a point where we just don’t expect that much from the Thor films. Still, it looks like Guardians of the Galaxy 1.5, and that’s exactly what people love about it. After the departure that was Thor: The Dark World, we’re back to a Thor tale that feels epic and world-spanning. And the Hulk cameo! Anyway, I could ramble about it, or you could just watch it for yourself. All I know is that the Thor: Ragnarok teaser trailer had the West Week Ever.

And if you’re jonesing to read some more, be sure to check out my comic post from this week: Comical Thoughts: The One Where Our Hero Read 30 Marvel Comics In One Night!

10th Mar2017

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 3/10/17

by Will

 

In movie news, a lot is going on with the Deadpool sequel. At the beginning of the week, it was reported that David Harbour of Netflix’s Stranger Things was being sought after for the role of Cable. While fans have wanted a bigger name, like Ron Perlman, Harbour is definitely gonna be cheaper, fitting right in with the movie’s budget. Meanwhile, it was reported that actress/singer Janelle Monae was the studio’s frontrunner for the role of Domino. Yesterday, however, Ryan Reynolds tweeted the above image, confirming that Atlanta‘s Zazie Beetz had gotten the role. I swear, with Donald Glover off Lando-ing in the Han Solo movie, and Zazie in Deadpool 2, Atlanta ain’t ever coming back. It’s already “on hiatus”, and I fear that it’s gonna be like Curb Your Enthusiasm – something Glover comes back to when he gets bored and has the time to do it. So, look for Atlanta season 2 in 2025.

In other movie news, the Valiant comic universe is getting closer to the big screen, as Dave Wilson has been tapped to direct the Bloodshot movie. Wilson comes from Blur Studio, known mainly for video game trailers, and co-founded by Deadpool director Tim Miller. If you don’t know anything about Bloodshot, you’re not alone. He looks like some kind of albino madman. From what I’ve read, he’s basically a zombie soldier who’s animated by nanites. I’ve never read a Bloodshot comic, though, so what do I know? Here’s where it gets interesting: there’s currently a webseries being made by Bat in the Sun called Ninjak vs The Valiant Universe. Starring Michael Rowe (Deadshot from the Arrowverse), the webseries pits the character of Ninjak against other characters in the Valiant Universe – where Bloodshot just happens to be portrayed by original Green Ranger, Jason David Frank. Now, JDF used to go to all of his convention appearances promoting the Power Rangers brand, but lately has been doing it dressed as Bloodshot. This project isn’t big enough to warrant that kind of dedication. No, I’m convinced he’s lobbying for the role in the big screen film. This is like when Sean Young used to go out in public dressed as Catwoman just so she’d get the role in Batman Returns. I don’t know whether to be impressed or saddened. I mean, he’s lobbying hard, but there’s no way he gets that role.

Though the news got sort of lost in the cycle last week, Nickelodeon announced that the new season of the 3D Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon, premiering March 19th, would be its last. After five years, the show is ditching its serialized approach and is rebranding into an anthology format with the new title Tales of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Once the series ends, a new 2D cartoon, Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, is slated to premiere in 2018.

In other TV news, folks are wondering if Glenn Howerton is leaving It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia. The show aired its 12th season finale this week, where we learned that Dennis had a son from a layover in North Dakota. At the end of the episode, he decides that he can’t carry on as he’d been doing the past 12 years, and that he needed to leave and go be with his son. This episode aired the same day it was reported that Howerton and Patton Oswalt had been cast as leads in an NBC pilot where Howerton plays an Ivy League professor who loses out on his dream job, and ends up teaching high school science. Currently known as AP Bio, the series is produced by Seth Meyers and Lorne Michaels, so I think it’s likely it’ll be picked up. Now, Kaitlin Olson currently juggles working on Sunny and The Mick, but Howerton has a bigger role on Sunny, as he also writes and produces. In an interview with Uproxx, though, Howerton said that he wasn’t sure if he was coming back. He said the decision doesn’t have anything to do with his relationships with the other cast members. Sunny still has two seasons ahead of it, but even Danny DeVito recently mentioned that he might be done soon, too. The show really matured this season, as a lot of plotlines came full circle. I don’t even know what they’ll do with 20 more episodes (their seasons tend to be 10 episodes long), but I definitely don’t know how they’d do it without the character of Dennis.

In comic news, Marvel announced that Astonishing X-Men would be returning in July, written by Charles Soule, with art by…unknown at the moment. If you remember, Astonishing X-Men debuted as a miniseries during the “Age of Apocalypse” story in the mid 90s, but its claim to fame was the ongoing series written by Joss Whedon in the early ’00s. This incarnation of the team stars Old Man Logan, Archangel, Rogue, Gambit, Mystique, Psylocke, Bishop, and Fantomex. This, combined with the previously announced X-Men Gold, just proves that Marvel is trying to initiate a 1991-style refresh of the X-Men franchise, and I am here for it! This Astonishing team is basically a refresh of the 90s Blue Team from “adjectiveless” X-Men, while the team in X-Men Gold is pretty much a refresh of the 90s Gold Team from Uncanny X-Men. I love the Old Man Logan character, though I fear he’s approaching typical Wolverine levels of overexposure. Meanwhile, it’ll be interesting to see how Bishop redeems himself considering he spent the bulk of the last Cable series trying to kill a little girl. And it’ll be an interesting dynamic between mother and daughter Mystique and Rogue, as well as starcrossed lovers Rogue and Gambit. I still hate Fantomex, though, and I wish Marvel would stop trying to make him “happen”. Anyway,  I don’t get excited for much, comic-wise, but I’m really looking forward to this book.

In sports news, Jay Cutler was cut from the Chicago Bears after 8 seasons. Now, if you know anything about me, you know I don’t give a shit about sports. Still, there’s a funny anecdote here. You see, when Lindsay and I first started dating, Cutler was the starting quarterback of her beloved Denver Broncos. She bought me my first NFL jersey, which happened to be a Cutler jersey. After all, there was no way he was going anywhere, right? Well, he got cut after that season, and I couldn’t really wear the jersey anymore. He ended up going to the Bears, who had the same color scheme. I thought that meant I could still wear the jersey, but apparently that doesn’t fly with sports fans. Anyway, he’s also married to Kristin Cavallari of Laguna Beach/The Hills fame, so I guess there’s your pop culture connection to justify my mention of him.

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

  • Director Joe Carnahan has exited the third Bad Boys film, Bad Boys For Life. Maybe I’ll get around to finally watching the first two before this thing gets made.
  • Jason Isaacs was cast as Captain Lorca in Star Trek: Discovery. I…don’t know who that is, so it’s done nothing to get me excited about this show.
  • It was a week packed with renewals, as One Day At A Time was renewed by Netflix, Riverdale was renewed by The CW, and Baskets was renewed by FX. I pretty much only have interest in one of those shows. Can you guess which one?
  • Emma Dumont was cast as Polaris in Fox’s untitled mutant series, which will be interesting since she’s Magneto’s daughter and all…
  • The embargo for reviews of Netflix’s Iron Fist was lifted, and they weren’t pretty. It seems the problems are with the structure and not necessarily the casting, so it looks like the folks lobbying for an Asian American lead dodged a bullet there.
  • Who knew Josh Radnor had been working since How I Met Your Mother ended? Well, he’s not anymore, as his PBS series Mercy Street was canceled yesterday.

Now, I know Logan had a great week. It came out to rave reviews, and it opened to $238 million worldwide. Still, I kinda got things off schedule. You see, it got the West Week Ever last week before it had even performed. I don’t really want to start this trend of the same thing getting the WWE two weeks in a row just because I just had to see it opening night, hours before pushing “Publish” on the next post. So, yeah, Logan had a great week, but it was the best thing I experienced last week. Now, I’m gonna talk about the best thing I experienced this week.

Since its debut in 2015, I’ve been a big fan of the FXX series Man Seeking Woman. Starring Jay Baruchel (you know who he is, even if you don’t know his name), it follows Josh Greenberg, a down on his luck Millennial who tries to navigate the waters of modern day dating. Like a less contrived version of How I Met Your Mother, the first two seasons saw Josh go on date after date, trying to find The One, but always coming up short. That all changed this season, however, as he met Lucy. He meets Lucy in the season premiere, marries her in the season finale, and their courtship fills out the middle. Lucy’s not only perfect for him, but she also helped the show take on a new direction. We started seeing things from a female perspective, as the show became as much about her as it was about Josh. We got to see her deal with having to give up her fun party life to settle down. We see her deal with the temptation of another possible suitor. But in the end, she chose Josh. This season, it was as much Man Seeking Woman as it was Woman Seeking Man.

This week saw the season finale of the show and, as I mentioned, it focused on Josh and Lucy’s wedding. The show hasn’t been picked up for a fourth season yet, and I’m hoping it doesn’t. As much as I’ve loved it, it has served its purpose. Over the course of 30 episodes, it set forth a goal and it achieved it. Sure, there are a lot of shows that evolved past their initial concept (looking at you, Cougar Town), and I’m sure the show could keep going as we see Josh and Lucy navigate married life, have a kid, etc. But I think I like it where things ended up. We don’t have to see all of that to know it happens, and I don’t think the show as a whole would be any stronger if we did see all that. Instead of overstaying its welcome, I’d prefer it take the British approach of “less is more”. Three seasons is a good run, and it did what it set out to do. It found Josh a woman. Now, if they did want to continue the show in some capacity, I would love if they flipped it to Woman Seeking Man. You see, every season, there’s one episode that stars Josh’s sister, Liz, as we get to see her life in contrast to Josh’s. While Josh is an unlucky in love office manager who lacks ambition, Liz is a driven workaholic attorney – who also happens to be unlucky in love. The Liz episodes tend to be the strongest of an already strong season, and it’d be great to see more focus on her. Josh and Lucy could still pop up as supporting characters, but the focus would now be on Liz.

With all of this gushing, I haven’t really explained what’s so great about the show. After all, it probably sounds like a run of the mill sitcom, but it’s far, far from that. There’s a streak of absurdity to the show that really lends to its tone. For example, in the pilot, Josh’s girlfriend, Maggie, leaves him to date Adolf Hitler. Last season, Liz had an affair with Santa Claus, while Josh dates a girl whose ex-boyfriend was Jesus Christ. Yeah, it’s not your run of the mill comedy. You’ve got to see it to fully experience it, but I don’t think you’ll be disappointed.

The season finale ends with a scene that brings the show full circle to the pilot. If there is another season, I hope they don’t fuck it up. If there isn’t, though, I love what they did, and how they did it. Everything was wrapped up with a nice bow, and it’s a strong series from beginning to end. That’s why Man Seeking Woman had the West Week Ever.

09th Dec2016

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 12/9/16

by Will

 

 

In Marvel news, we got a new teaser trailer for Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. Why are there so many teasers these days? We already got a short teaser that actually TEASED. Sure, this was only about 2 minutes long, but back in my day, that was the trailer! Anyway, enough old man ranting from me. It looks good. I love Baby Groot because he reminds me of my toddler. Other than that, I’ve got no real thoughts on it one way or another. I guess I’m looking forward to it? I mean, it’s not marked on my calendar like Logan, but I’ll get excited once it’s closer.

In movie news, it was announced that Amy Schumer was cast as Barbie in an upcoming live-action movie. Yup, that Barbie. And the universe laughed and laughed! Look, I’m probably being more cruel than I need to be, but there’s a reason for it: I discovered last week that she had blocked me on Twitter. Now, I can’t remember ever saying anything disparaging about her, and I say a lot of shit about a lot of people. I certainly don’t remember saying anything block-worthy. So, I’m a little butthurt about that, even though if I were a Black Twitter star, I’d put “Blocked by @amyschumer” in my Twitter bio like some sort of trifling badge of honor. I just don’t get this casting other than the fact that she’s blonde. It also doesn’t help that the movie is reportedly rated PG, so she can’t bring her typical brand of comedy to the mix. Wrong body type, wrong personality. Couldn’t they just put Amy Adams in a blonde wig? Isla Fisher? Is Heidi Klum too old? Katherine Heigl? This casting just seems uninspired. Schumer looks like Barbie after a lot of bad decisions – kinda like how Chelsea Handler looks like someone rode her hard and put her away wet. It’s more a case of Sony and Mattel trying to capitalize on her rising fame than actually trying to cast someone right for the role.

Also, the teaser trailer for The Rock’s Baywatch adaptation was released yesterday. As a lifelong Baywatch fan, I was already a lock for seeing it, but it seems like they’re using the 21 Jump Street formula, so now I’m definitely all-in. It’s basically “What if Ryan Lochte joined the Baywatch team?” I love everyone involved, from The Rock to Zac Efron to Alexandra Daddario. I can’t wait for Memorial Day weekend!

In the world of toys, unless you’ve been hiding under a rock, you know that the hot toys of the season are Hatchimals. Basically, it’s a real life Tamagotchi, as you buy an egg that eventually hatches into some electronic Furby-esque toy. They retail for about $70, but they’re being listed on the secondary market from $100-200. Earlier this week, I posted this article about author Sara Gruen who saw the popularity of the toy as an opportunity to raise money for a man serving a life sentence whom she feels has been wrongly accused of a crime. She won’t go into too much detail because there’s a documentary in the works about the whole thing, but she had contributed over $150,000 of her own money to his legal fees, and felt that reselling the popular toy might help put a dent in her debt (She fucking this dude? If I were her husband, I’d be asking a LOT of questions!). Anyway, she didn’t have any clue what she was doing, so she thought it was a good idea to pay 2X retail for 156 Hatchimals, putting her in about $20,000 of additional debt. She had the harebrained scheme to charge FOUR times retail to parents desperately searching for the toy in time for Christmas. OK, let’s look at where she went wrong.

To some, I might be considered a scalper. I, however, think of myself as more of a Collectibles Reallocation Specialist. I try to keep up with what’s hot and, if I come across any, I resell them at a premium. It sounds bad, but I did this to pay for my wedding and never really looked back. If you keep your finger on the pulse, and don’t risk too much money, you can do alright with it. The way I see it, you’re paying a premium for accelerated access. Most of the stuff I sell will become plentiful given time, but the desire to be the first person to post about it online/give your kid something to brag about at Show & Tell drives folks to pay crazy prices for things they could’ve waited on. I’m not a complete dick, though. Kids are my weak spot. You tell me it’s the only thing your kid wants for his birthday, and I cave. So, I’m pretty much just targeting adults because they’ve got the disposable income.

Anyway, I’ve monitored the Hatchimals thing, and considered picking one up if I ran across it. A friend of mine from college is looking for one for his daughter, and so far they’ve struck out. It feels really good to be that last minute Christmas Savior. Not Jesus, but something a few notches below Jesus, like Peter or Moses. Here’s how I would’ve played this whole thing. I would’ve bought 3 Hatchimals. One for my friend, one to definitely sell, and one to sit on. If the selling one went quickly, then the one I was sitting on would go in the chamber. And that’s it. It’s too close to Christmas to really move that many because your avenues are limited. If you were truly enterprising, I’d even say to buy a case. I’m not sure of the case quantity, but it’s probably about 6-8 in a case. With Craigslist, you could move that in time. Here’s where she messed up: she paid $140 for something that cost $70. There’s already no meat on that bone. Had she bought them at retail, she could’ve doubled her money. With what people have been willing to pay, that would’ve been a fine plan. But you NEVER pay more than retail in arbitrage! So, her plan was dead on arrival, mainly because too many people know the market. If the retail price of Hatchimals fluctuated, you’d have some wiggle room, but the MSRP is $69.99, and everyone knows it, so how do you expect someone to fork over a car payment of $280.00?

Remember how I said there were limited avenues? That’s because Amazon bans toy sellers during the holiday season unless they’re having their orders fulfilled by Amazon. Hell, I’ve been selling on Amazon for 4 years, and I still can’t sell during Christmas. So, that wasn’t gonna be an option for her. Then, she went to eBay, but they’re already onto the Hatchimal racket, so they’re now limiting people from listing more than one a week. At this rate, she can sell about 5 before Christmas (based on when she started), and the day after Christmas the other 151 are gonna be worthless because A) the big day is gone and/or B) stock will catch up with demand. She’s NEVER going to make her money back, so she needs to make peace with that now. If she doesn’t want to sit on these things, she needs to start charging MSRP and accept the fact that she’s going to lose half her investment. As we get closer to Christmas, she could even charge about $80-100, but she still has them listed on her site for the recently reduced price of $189. Plainly put, you’re not gonna make the kind of money she needs with TOYS, especially alone and without a distribution network. She would’ve been better off if she’d bought a house from a sheriff’s sale and flipped it. There have since been updates that she received death threats from people who feel like she’s responsible for ruining their kids’ Christmas, which is a bit extreme. Right now, rest in comfort with the fact that she’s in tremendous debt and a horrible businesswoman. She doesn’t need your death threats.

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

  • NBC aired Hairspray Live, or as I affectionately called it Kristin Chenoweth’s Titties Live. Anyway, nobody watched it compared to the other recent live play adaptations.

  • It was announced that Mariah Carey will host YouTube Red’s The Keys of Christmas special. Based on the poster, it should be called Mariah Carey’s Titties Wish You A Merry Christmas, featuring DJ Khaled and Some Dude
  • Reportedly Beyonce’s recording of “Daddy Lessons” with the Dixie Chicks was rejected by the Grammy Country Music Committee. They’ll rue this day when she summons the Phoenix Force to destroy their lives.
  • Candace Cameron Bure is leaving The View, as it has gotten too hectic filming in NYC, while filming Fuller House in LA.
  • Disney released a new teaser for the DuckTales reboot, announcing that it would debut on DisneyXD next summer.
  • The trailer for Spider-Man: Homecoming was released last night. It was OK. With the exception of Tony Stark, I didn’t see anything we haven’t seen before. I just hate how every time the franchise reboots, everyone’s like “They finally got it right!” Chill. They got it right in the past, too.

I have officially joined the Bourgeoisie! That’s right, kids – I’ve seen Hamilton. Before you get all excited for me, I didn’t actually go to Broadway and see the show. No, some intrepid soul decided to post a near perfect copy of the show on YouTube, which ended up being snatched down yesterday. Sure, it may lack the “theatre experience”, but if you’ve seen ticket prices AND know of the lack of availability for tickets to the show, then you realize this experience was just as good. In fact, based on the vantage point of the person who filmed it, it’s actually better than what you’d probably be able to afford. I mean, these were GOOD seats. I can imagine someone sneaking their phone in the show like Rerun when he was taping that Doobie Bros concert. Before I get into my thoughts on the show, however, let’s take a trip down memory lane for a minute, shall we?

Back when I was at Cornell, I was really obsessed with secret societies. There was one in particular that every Cornellian wanted to get into, and I made it a side project to get on their radar so I could be tapped. Well, senior year came, and the tap never did. I later found out that I’d been nominated for entry, but I guess I didn’t make the cut. Let me just say this: it was not an honor just to be nominated! Fast forward to some time later, when I was up there for an alumni function, and a friend of mine who had been tapped volunteered to give me a tour of their secret lair (apparently the society was OK with folks using their status to impress friends/troll for impressionable pussy). Tucked away in a Gothic tower, the meeting space he was allowed to show consisted of a stone room with a wooden table in the middle. No, nothing fancy like a Justice League table. This thing looked like it had been picked up off the side of the road. It looked like a Biblical jail or something. Needless to say, I was not impressed. Now, all of this isn’t to say that Hamilton disappointed me like that stone room did, but it is to point out that there’s power in mystery. Hamilton has the reputation that it does because people want to see it but can’t, which only makes them want to see it more. I can’t help but wonder if this YouTube leak was part of an alt-right revenge plot in conjunction with that whole Pence matter a few weeks back. They wanted folks to boycott the show, but seeing as how the vast majority of the population couldn’t get tickets anyway, I guess they decided the best revenge was to kill the mystique around the show, and disseminate it to the masses.

The mystique of not being able to see it certainly helps propel the Hamilton legend forward. I mean, as I was watching it, I spent the first 20 minutes vacillating between “I can’t believe I’m finally watching this!” and “Please, God – Don’t let YouTube snatch this down before I finish watching it!” I didn’t really get into the play until around the point of the song “You’ll Be Back”. I wonder if that’s the same way people feel in the actual audience these days, taken aback by the fact that they’re ACTUALLY seeing Hamilton.

First of all, let’s deal with the pros. It’s really good. I mean, really good. Way better than it has any right to be. On paper, it’s a lame idea from that teacher you used to have who tried to hard to look “cool” to his students. You know the one: “No, ‘Mr. Smith’ was my father. You guys can call me Mark. Anyway, today we’re going to discuss our founding fathers through the medium of rap!” Seriously, it sounds like a trainwreck waiting to happen. But Miranda pulls it off, amazingly so.

Next up is the music. It’s great and it gets in your head and won’t leave. Even before you know the words, you’ll still be humming the melodies. That’s, like, the main goal of any musical composition: for it to make a lasting mark, have an impact. Hamilton certainly succeeds here.

Finally, my favorite character is a foppish King George III played by Jonathan Groff. If you’ve heard the soundtrack, then you already know his songs are funny, but his portrayal is just so great. It has to be seen to get the full effect.

Now for the cons. A friend of mine online pointed out that he didn’t care if he never saw the show, as the whole thing is on the album, and he’s right. A lot of musicals are dialogue-dialogue-BREAK INTO SONG-dialogue, but this entire play is sung or rapped. There’s nothing that isn’t on the soundtrack. That’s good for those who’ll never see the show, but it seems like you’re almost losing out by attending the play, as it has nothing more to offer other than the “Experience!”

I hate to disappoint the lot of you, but this really isn’t a show that needs to be SEEN. It’s not a visually stunning show. I can’t decide if the choreography is understated or just lazy, but I was somewhat unimpressed. By this point, you already know what Lin-Manuel Miranda looks like, so if you just play the soundtrack, close your eyes, and picture him in Colonial Williamsburg, you’ve got the gist of the imagery. The only thing I actually enjoyed seeing was Groff’s King George dancing along in the background of songs.

At the end of the day, it’s an amazing feat of theatre, and I’m glad I saw it. I’m also glad I didn’t have to sell a kidney in order to do so. Considering that the rap approach to Hamilton has made theatre interesting to those who may not typically care for the medium, it’s shame that the show hasn’t been made more accessible. I mean, I understand the idea of wanting to remain the hot girl of the Great White Way, but there are a lot of folks who’d really appreciate it who aren’t going to get to see it. Last time I checked, the YouTube file had already been viewed over 300,000 times. That’s almost better than the ratings for Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (I kid, but they’re not much different!). Clearly there is an interested audience out there who simply can’t afford to see the show. Sure, they throw scraps to the proletariat, like the PBS special and The Hamilton Mixtape, but there is a clear class divide between those who can see the show and those who can’t. I think that’s part of the problem I’ve had with the Hamilton phenomenon: it takes the hip hop vehicle and uses it to entertain an audience outside the typical socioeconomic status that actually created hip hop. I don’t quite want to call it “cultural appropriation”, but it’s close. It’s a relatable story about life and legacy, and I think a lot of people would get something out of it. Anyway, if you ever get the chance to see the show, be it online or live, then definitely don’t miss out on the opportunity. Just don’t take out a second mortgage on your house or anything in order to do so. It just ain’t THAT deep.

Meanwhile, all the Hamiltonians were sitting by their iTunes last Thursday night, realizing they’d received volume 1 of The Hamilton Mixtape. Featuring covers and songs inspired by the show, fans are eating it up. I’ve only heard a few of the songs that leaked early, such as Kelly Clarkson’s version of “It’s Quiet Uptown”. I felt she took an emotional ballad and turned it into an overproduced mess that lacks nuance or dynamics. I can only hope the rest of the album is better than that example. Still, like I said, as with all thing Hamilton, fans are loving it. There was no better week to be a Hamilton fan, and that’s why they had the West Week Ever.

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